for everyone whoās a bit sick of being stuck indoors
I know that feel. Iāve been in isolation for about four years due to illness. It was letās say a very difficult life change. I crashed out of the world pretty hard and spent a few months in bed in constant pain wishing I was dead, while everyone thought I was just being incredibly rude. It sucked.
Iām saying this because Iām about to drop a few pieces of advice and I want you to know that theyāre coming from a place of experience and empathy.
We are nowhere near the end of this crisis. We need to be ready for the long haul, because we still have months of isolation, restriction, and caution ahead of us. This is normal now. Thatās a lot to deal with. This sucks.
And hey if youāre still enjoying the veg-out binging netflix in your pyjamas with a bucket of chicken phase, thatās great. You deserve to rest. Come back to this post later when you need it.
But if youāre realising thereās actually a limit to how long social media, TV, and video games can keep you civil? Let me help with that.
0. Thank you. Iām immunocompromised, so thank you for staying home, washing your hands, and following the guidelines to flatten the curve and slow the spread of the virus so I donāt die. I know itās hard. Remember youāre doing a good thing.
1. Keep using the internet to stay in touch and communicate with people so you feel less lonely. Use social media to socialise, not as a news source. Learn new things, fall in a wikihole, tell someone something interesting you just found out. But logging off will do you a power of good.
2. You need to engage your other senses to stave off depression. Your body and your senses need to be kept occupied, not just your brain. Learn to cook from scratch, try new recipes, bake something, have a home spa day, light that fancy scented candle youāve been holding on to for a special occasion.
3. Oh yeah, whatever youāve been holding onto for a special occasion, bust that baby out now. The nice outfit, the posh food, the fancy soap, whatever little treats you have squirreled away. Instead of saving them for a special occasion, use them to create an occasion and make it special. If nothing else, it will help stop the days blurring into each other quite so horribly.
4. Donāt get drunk. A drink is ok, but a hangover will make everything feel worse.
5. Your round toit is here. Mend and repair those things, do a deep clean, rearrange that room, organise that stuff, do some arts and crafts, try a new hobby. Make and do something with your hands. BUT! Pace yourself. Spread things out a bit. Do a little bit of this and that each day, instead of doing one thing all day or everything in one day.
6. Donāt sleep in. Go to bed early, take naps, get your rest, but if youāre going to have to go back to work after this, you really donāt want to let your sleep pattern shift, and the best way to avoid that is by not sleeping in. Sorry. Really, I am so sorry.
7. You need to move your body, especially when you feel anxious. Anxiety is in the body, you canāt think your way out of it, you need to move. Yoga is uh fine I guess, pretty good for stress, but tai chi is actually a lot better for anxiety. Or do some bodyweight exercises, or pilates. Or come up with some choreography and rehearse it and then perform it in the street for your neighbours. Or just pace around the house like a zoo animal, and roar occasionally. Roaring helps too.
8. Mind your diet. I know itās a hassle when you canāt go grocery shopping as often and youāre probably eating more tinned and frozen foods than usual, but do your best to vary your meals and eat a balanced diet. Donāt add nutritional deficiencies and the misery of food boredom to your problems. And stay hydrated.
9. Look after something living. If you donāt have a child or a pet or a garden or a houseplant, try growing some sprouts or microgreens, or start a sourdough mother or a ginger bug. Nurturing and caring for something alive (even yeast) is incredibly healing and stabilising. Also weāre starting to realise plants are super important for mental, emotional, and physical health. Humans need green time, so if you donāt have a houseplant maybe see about getting one.
10. Be thankful. I donāt mean in a stupid platitude way like āsome people have it worseā or anything fake like that. You can still be angry, bored, outraged, frightened, disappointed, exhausted, dismayed. But to avoid falling into meaningless grey despair, set aside a few minutes each day and find things to be grateful about on purpose. It doesnāt have to be big. Your pet has been super affectionate? Favourite youtuber uploaded? Weather was kind of nice? New episode of that show you like? Chair comfy af? Tasty breakfast? Recognise it and be thankful for it. You donāt have to be thankful TO anyone or anything in particular, just be thankful FOR something in particular. Try for five things per day to start, but do more if you want.
11. Take some cosy time. I think this is maybe kind of like hygge? Spend some time each day doing something that makes you feel calm and cosy and safe. Build a blanket fort or snuggle up with a hot drink and a book, and just be cosy for an hour or so. This is a very stressful and frightening event weāre all going through so making a deliberate effort to cultivate feelings of warmth, contentment, and safety every day will help fend off trauma.
12. Speaking of books, reading a book engages your brain differently from watching a movie or listening to a podcast, and is very good for your brain and mood. If you have a to-read pile youāre probably already making a dent in it but if you donāt, or if youāve reached the bottom of it, a lot of writers and publishers are offering free ebooks to help with isolation. You can read ebooks on your phone if you donāt have an ereader or tablet.
13. Balance your news intake. Restrict the amount of time you spend looking at news about the pandemic, and limit yourself to a few reliable sources. For every hour you spend reading the news and watching the scary numbers go up, spend an hour specifically looking for good news. Incompetent governments are failing their people, a minority of profiteers are trying to take advantage of the situation, and a lot of people are sick and dying, but thatās not the whole story. People can be SO GOOD. Did you hear about the medical drama shows donating their PPE to hospitals & fire departments? And the cosplayers and actors doing in-character birthday videos for kids who canāt have parties? People are helping each other, taking care of each other, there is so much good news so look for it, and then share it.
14. Get fresh air & sunshine. If you have a garden or a balcony, use it. Spend as much time there as the weather allows. Open your windows, weather permitting. Pull a chair up next to a window and read a book. Depending on your location, you may even be safe to shove your hands in your pockets and go for a walkābut keep at least 2m away from other people and if youāre in a hard lockdown or enforced quarantine, donāt flout it.
15. If youāre working from home, be able to close a door on your work space. When I worked remotely I had the computer set up in a wardrobe because I didnāt have a wholeass room for it, and I would unplug it and close the door on it at the end of my shift, it was a real sanity saver. Even if you donāt passionately hate your job, be able to close a door on it. Closing a physical door helps your brain to keep your work compartmentalised away from your home life, and helps you control work-related stress.
16. Do something for someone else. Weāre a social species, we have a fundamental need to help others. It makes us feel connected, less isolated, and thatās something we all need right now. If you have a sewing machine, make masks for people who need them. If you have money, drop some of it on gofundmeās to help people whoāve lost their jobs make rent. If you bought too much toilet paper and youāre starting to realise that was a mistake, ask your neighbours if they need any. Live stream a cooking class. Teach someone how to use skype. There is something you can do to help someone else, so find it and do it. You will feel better for it.
17. The corollary to helping is: accept help from others. Helping others is one way we strengthen our social bonds, accepting help is another. Plus right now thereās a lot of ways that accepting help is also helping others. If someone offers to pick up groceries or a prescription for you while theyāre getting their own, thatās helping everyone, the fewer people in the stores the better.
18. Avoid platitudes. Theyāre actually harmful, not helpful. Be sincere, both in expressing your own feelings and when other people share theirs with you. To be perfectly honest Iām pretty bad at this, itās hard not to make jokes and deflect, but itās so important right now to communicate authentically. I know how uncomfortable it can be but do your best. When we feel deeply heard and understood, we feel less alone. Itās still ok to be silly and goofy, just be honest and compassionate as well.
19. Mind your temper. Try not to lash out or get drawn into arguments, it wonāt make you feel any better. You might get an easy rush and some attention out of it, but afterwards youāll just feel more isolated than ever, and you risk permanently alienating people around you.
20. Everyoneās process is different. Donāt try to police other peopleās emotions. Respect that weāre all processing this at different speeds and in different ways. Weāre off the map, in an unprecedented situation, thereās no ārightā way to feel about that. Invalidating other peopleās feelings is a surefire way to push them away, and we all donāt need any of that right now.
21. Keep taking care of yourself. Keep cleaning your teeth, bathing, changing your clothes, brushing your hair, doing your laundry. Keep taking your meds, doing your exercises, getting enough sleep, eating on time. Not just to avoid a big personal crisis when itās time to go outside again, but also because you deserve it.
Covid-19 is showing us whatās really important. After this is over, donāt forget about it. Remember service workers, warehouse workers, and other āunskilledā workers keeping the supermarkets running. Remember farmers and factory workers stepping up production to refill the shelves, and truckers hauling the goods. Remember doctors and nurses, orderlies and cleaners, working overtime, understaffed, underprepared, and under-equipped, to care for the sick and dying. Remember artists, writers, musicians, actors, performers, designers, and developers keeping you sane. Remember the garbage collectors and the street sweepers, and the folks who work at power, water, and sewage plants. Remember delivery drivers, couriers, and postal workers. Remember the disability and chronic illness communities reaching out to help you navigate your visit to our everyday reality. After this is over, be kind, and pay it forward. Tip generously, mind your manners, and donāt look down on anyone for their job or ability level. Fight for better wages and working conditions, better accommodations, and better social safety nets. Show up for the people who are showing up for you.
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