qui vivra verra

gabrielle viviane bellamy. 17. ravenclaw. french. veela. feminist. dating her equal. find my life in my own way.

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs‌:

On one hand, he knew they ought to hurry from the castle and get on with their evening. But on the other, there was something intoxicating about sneaking around with her like this. Knowing they could be caught at any moment made every second all the more exciting. He watched her smile, feeling his chest turn to mush. It was a common occurrence now, and one he was not only accustomed to, but enjoyed. “I think that you have.” Edgar said back, lifting a hand to cup her cheek. He leaned forward and pressed a quick, mischievous kiss to her lips. “Keep up your good work.” He said against her mouth before pulling away and grabbing her hand again. 

It was another quiet set of minutes spent checking around corners and taking very careful steps until they made it outside into the nighttime air. He smiled, taking in a long inhale and gazing happily at the moon. He squeezed her hand. “I think we’re rather good at this sneaking around ordeal. Don’t you?”

“Mmm” Gabrielle let out a contented hum as Edgar pulled away from the kiss - it was far too short for her liking, but given the circumstances, it sufficed. The tingling that was ever present when she was with Edgar only grew as they continued on their way. There was a sense of natural adrenaline surrounding sneaking out of the castle, and paired with her feelings for him resulted in a feeling of excitement and rebellion. She loved it. “I will try my best.” She teased quietly.

The moon shone brightly on the pair, and Gabrielle’s smile only grew as her gaze travelled from it back to Edgar. “I think we should hope that any children we may have do not take after us in this regard.” Perhaps it was odd to speak of children, especially with the war practically knocking on their door, but something about it seemed very natural with Edgar. It wouldn’t be for a while, but Gabrielle knew that their future included children. Walking next to him, she looked back to the sky, letting out a small sigh. “It is nice to be out of the castle. It was getting rather suffocating.”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs‌:

WHO: Edgar Bones and Gabrielle Bellamy WHEN: Friday, March 17th, 1978. 7:18PM. WHERE: The halls of Hogwarts, eventual Hogsmeade

Never in a million years did Edgar Bones ever think he would be where he was right now, stalking through Hogwarts silently, intending on sneaking out of the place. It was a blessing that his father was gone now. Getting caught was a risk he would be taking, but it was more than worth it, at least without the added risk of getting a lecture from his dad.

Thankfully, after six years of being a model student, he was more than equipped to get around undetected, for he knew where every prefect would be, and the aurors too. Trying his hardest not to make a sound, Edgar guided Gabrielle through the halls by her hand. He thought of them doing this in the future, in much more dangerous situations, sneaking around quietly together. He would enjoy this happy occasion, he thought. 

“Almost there.” He whispered nearly silently, his lips mere millimeters from her ear. Hopefully everyone would be at dinner, instead of roaming the halls. @notyourfrenchdoll

Gabrielle had never been particularly good at following rules. While she didn’t inherently set out to break them, if they didn’t fit her plans they were meant to be broken - she had far too much life to live to let other peoples’ guidelines get in her way.  She and Edgar needed a night to themselves. With everything going on around them it only seemed fair, really. It had felt like the past weeks were in constant motion, and a night to just pause everything, to be with each other, was exactly what they needed.

Edgar knew the castle far better than she did, and as she followed quietly behind, Gabrielle couldn’t help the small tingle of butterflies she still got from his touch. Maman and Apolline had always said the butterflies would never go away, but they had always been far more romantic than Gabrielle.

A small grin formed as he spoke, and she turned to face him better, her voice low, “Have I corrupted a prefect? We would not want anyone to find out about that.” 

[notyourfrenchdoll]

lilianexchastain‌:

Who: Liliane & anyone Where: Outside the library When: midafternoon, sometime in the right time range

“Of course,” Liliane muttered as she shoved the library door open, harder than she really meant to. “Of course pureblood means you’re better than everyone. Of course the muggleborn students are automatically worse than other students. Of course that bullshit that people - can I help you?” She spun in the direction of the eyes that she felt on her, too irritated to bother with being polite.

As much as she was fed up with school as a whole, Gabrielle still needed to pass her classes, and unfortunately, that meant studying. Edgar was off somewhere else, and she needed to get an essay done - the library seemed the best option. She heard Liliane before she saw her, and stopped in her tracks, waiting for her friend to turn and see her. She could barely make out what the other was saying, but knew enough to understand her frustrations. It did seem a bit strange - Liliane was always the more collected of the two. Finally, the other girl turned, and Gabrielle raised a brow. “It is bullshit. Do you need to talk?”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

itsalectxcarrxw‌:

It had been quite a bit of time since she had last played with some prey. Her eyes catching sight upon a lone first year within the corridor, Alecto’s eyes lit up as she stalked towards them, a coy smirk upon her lips as she tilted her head to ask sweetly, “Didn’t your older years teach you to never be alone, little firstie?”

Gabrielle had only been passing through, on her way back to the common room to find Edgar, when she heard someone speaking. Quickening her pace, she recognized Alecto first, before her eyes fell to the student between them - by the looks of it, a first year. Taking in a deep breath, she crossed her arms. “Did no one tell you to let things be, Alecto?”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

dolly-umbridge‌:

It didn’t matter to Dolores that she was beautiful because this thing was only so due to her deplorable status as only somewhat human. Many of her classmates battled it out in the case of blood status which is why it was so absolutely baffling to her that any of them were willing to tolerate this filthy little half breed wandering the halls of their illustrious school. This was what tarnished them, and someday she would see an end to it. With a false saccharine smile plastered to perfectly painted lips she sidled over to the abomination and pondered,  “Feeling trapped, are we?”

Gabrielle hadn’t had much interaction with Dolores, but something about the other girl didn’t quite sit right with the blonde. She couldn’t place exactly what it was - the way she carried herself, or how she always seemed to have her nose turned up to everyone around her. Something wasn’t right, and when Dolores made her way over, Gabrielle offered a small smile of her own, equally as fake as the other’s. “Only as much as could be expected. It seems keeping us here is only prolonging the inevitable, does it not?”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs‌:

“I love you too.” Edgar murmured softly, reaching out to brush two knuckles against her cheek. Such simple affections never failed to put a smile on his face. Grinning, he pushed himself up from the couch, smoothing down the fronts of his pajama bottoms once he was fully upright. “I’ll be right back.” He said warmly. Taking a brisk pace to begin with, Edgar moved up the stairs en route to his dorm room. It was just as dark, and just as silent as it had been when he’d first gotten up to come downstairs. On the floor, in front of the foot of his bed, was Edgar’s trunk. Shuffling quietly, he dropped to his knees in front of it, using one hand to click open the lock. It opened with a creak, and he pointed his wand inside. Keeping his voice at a low volume, Edgar whispered, “Accio photo album.” 

Shuffling noises sounded from inside the trunk, most likely from the photo album knocking things aside in its haste to get out. A split second later, the worn out old photo album from his earlier years at school was resting neatly in his hand. He’d found it at the end of the summer, the night before the disastrous Masquerade Ball. He’d lost it for a long time, so there weren’t very many recent pictures inside. Good thing that he wasn’t in the mood for looking at recent pictures. Holding his find firmly in his hand, Edgar shut his trunk and quietly made his way back downstairs. The sight of Gabrielle was most welcome and he found himself smiling at the sight of her. 

Before dropping back down on the couch, he paused next to the table so that he could reach for the bottle of wine. This time, he was much more neat about taking a sip. When he was finished, he set it back down and climbed back onto the couch again. He situated himself cross-legged next to Gabrielle and then laid the little, worn album on his lap. He opened it to a random page, and immediately, a chuckle burst from his lips. He plucked a photo free, watching it for a second. He laughed again. Edgar honestly couldn’t remember who had taken the photo. It was second year Herbology, with the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. It was Edgar, red faced and angry, with a spattering of dirt across his cheek. Frank must have thrown it, if the way photo-Edgar was yelling at him was any indication. Ted was in the background, laughing. He held it out to Gabrielle. “Here, look at this.”

While he was gone, Gabrielle took a moment to take another sip of wine, before carefully tucking the photo back into its place. She turned a page, and was greeted by another smiling photo of her family, this time from a newspaper clipping from after her father had gotten his spot in the French Ministry. She paused, not wanting to get too much farther without Edgar.

She greeted him with a smile as he sat back down, giggling a bit as he took another sip of the wine. She waited, watching as he took the photo, before letting out a laugh when she fully saw it. “What on earth?!” She recognized the green houses, and a small child who must have been Ted laughing in the back. “And Professor Sprout let this happen?!”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs‌:

On their own, what he was hearing did not do much to make Edgar feel all that better. Even if nobody blamed him, he blamed himself, and that was enough. And even if they had agreed to it, they would have had nothing to agree too if he hadn’t called that meeting in the first place. And how did Gabrielle know they would find her? How could anybody know that? Alone, the words didn’t mean much. So, he opened his eyes. He opened his eyes and found Gabrielle staring back at him. And then, the words weren’t just words anymore. They were more than that. In that moment, Edgar did not just hear Gabrielle. He saw her, and he felt her. 

Softening completely, Edgar moved one of his legs to slide between her own. He angled his chin just so, and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Though the kiss was short, it took Edgar a long time to move his lips away from hers. When he did, he sighed softly, and moved a hand up her waist to rest against her arm. “I hope you’re right.” He whispered, looking into her eyes. “I hate feeling like this.”

Gabrielle welcomed the closer contact, and the kiss, as they came, letting out a small sigh as Edgar’s lips moved away. Her hand traveled up, brushing a piece of hair out of his face, before lingering on his cheek. How could she even know if she was right? All of this had been a whirlwind, and it ended less than spectacularly. 

“Between us, and the aurors, and the professors - she will be found.” Gabrielle took in a deep breath, trying to make her words sound more confident than she  felt. If anyone could see through her, it would be Edgar. She only hoped that her facade was strong enough. “I hate it too. But we can not stop fighting because of it.”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs‌:

Edgar moved his fingers frantically, looking up and down between his messy looking tie and the door that stood in between he and Gabrielle, and the footsteps outside. His fingers were clumsier than normal, his typical dexterity offset by his panic about getting caught. Vaguely, from somewhere far away in the room (at least it seemed so), Edgar could hear Gabrielle call his name. However, it wasn’t until he heard her say ‘I love you’ that he was able to divert his attention. He stilled, lifting his head to look at her. His heart, which had felt so tight just a moment ago, seemed to have melted into a warm puddle within his chest and he nodded. “Right.” 

Ignoring his tie, he reached down to zip, and then button his pants. There. With that done, at least if someone were to walk in, they could pass this off as a casual snog rather than the passionate shag it really had been. Ignoring his tie, he moved to Gabrielle and offered a hand, “Sorry–” He said, laughing at himself from moments prior. “I got a bit carried away.” Fighting against the nervousness that was threatening to overtake him, – what did this mean? Was she his girlfriend now? – Edgar smiled. “Want to go back to the common room? I don’t know if I’ve got much energy for more fighting.”

As he finished with his clothes, Gabrielle took a moment to attempt to contain her hair into a ponytail. At least it would look a bit tamer, and anything past that, she could only hope the veela magic would help. They cleaned up decently well, she had to admit. It didn’t hurt that Edgar was already quite handsome and didn’t need much help... 

When he spoke again she offered a smile, matching his own. The thought of fighting had completely left her mind - that was what they were doing, wasn’t it? “That would be nice.” She said with a nod. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she comfortably slid her hand into his, weaving her fingers between his own. Her spare hand found a place on his shoulder, and everything seemed to feel right. 

[notyourfrenchdoll]

Gabrielle came out of the classroom in a huff, already frustrated and feeling too pent up. The school walls were becoming suffocating, and the blonde wanted nothing more than to get out and be in the real world. Making her way into the main corridors, she paused, letting her back rest against one of the walls, before letting out a long sigh, and muttering to herself, “There has to be more than this.”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs:

Edgar smiled again, wider so than before, at the sight of this new picture. Immediately, Edgar felt like he was yanked back in time to a day that was very similar to the day in this picture. Gabrielle was younger than Edgar had been when he had started school, but the emotions inside of the picture were ones he could relate to. He had a picture just like this, of himself and Amelia, standing side by side in front of the Hogwarts Express. His eyes flickered back and forth between the two figures in the photo – Gabrielle, and then Apolline, and then back to Gabrielle again. He wished he could have known her before, when she was a child like this. Edgar was certain that they would have found one another no matter what the circumstances of their meeting were. 

Like the previous picture, he ran his finger over the surface, his thumb lingering right above Gabrielle’s head. Sometimes, Edgar found the passage of time absolutely baffling. Gabrielle looked so young, so happy. He glanced up, leaning in to kiss her again. “I’m sure she misses you too.” He murmured warmly, nuzzling his forehead against her cheek, before resuming his original position. He was surprised by the question. He did in fact have photos hidden around here, but he hadn’t thought much of them since he had found that photo album back in the summertime.

He nodded, “I do.” His eyes flickered towards the stairs leading back up to his room. He reached for her hand, wrapping it in his. “Would you mind waiting for me while I go and grab it?” He asked politely, lifting her hand to his lips. He pressed a gentle kiss to the back of her knuckles. “It’ll only be a minute.”

Gabrielle watched carefully as Edgar examined the photo, her focus still on Apolline. She had been fully aware of what coming to Hogwarts meant, that she would be leaving her family behind, and now, it seemed, she would not be returning for a considerable amount of time. It was a strange mix of emotion - she wanted to be in England, wanted to fight, and wanted to stay with Edgar, but it felt as if a part of her would always be in France with her family.

She returned the kiss, and lingered for a moment in the proximity. Gabrielle wondered if Edgar felt the same. Even if he did, she supposed it was different for him. His sister was at school, and now his father had joined them. He was practically surrounded by family. When he moved away, Gabrielle looked down for a moment, though it wasn’t long before he was reaching for her hand, and her gaze was returning to meet his.

“Of course I will wait.” She gave a small smile, and it only grew as he kissed her hand. When he returned it to get up, she took her photo back, before drawing her knees close to her chest. “I love you.” She added, lightly, before he moved away.

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs:

Edgar laughed, using the back of his hand to wipe the residual wine off of his bottom lip and chin. He shrugged his shoulders, pulling his legs up onto the couch as he sat down. “I’ll use a glass next time. The bottle works just as good for right now.” He caught the motion of her subtely scooting away from him (well, his cigarette, to be precise), and rather than spend any sort of extended time away from her, Edgar simply took two more drags, before using his wand to put the cigarette out. He leaned forward to set it down on the table in front of the couch, and then settled back into seat – this time, by Gabrielle’s side.

Edgar took the extended picture, drawing his knees to his chest so that he could rest the photograph on top of them. Instantly upon seeing it, a smile widened upon his face. “Fleur is so tiny,” He said, fingers running gently over the figure wrapped in a blanket. He glanced to Gabrielle in the picture and chuckled. “You look young,” He observed. He supposed two years was a lot of time for growth when you were their age. Lastly, his eyes flickered over to Mrs. Bellamy. Pictures of veelas did not invoke the same reaction as their real-life counterparts, yet Edgar still found himself blinking at the sight of her. He suddenly felt very grateful that he’d had this moment to see what she looked like before actually meeting her. Maybe now he would be able to do something besides act like a fool. 

He passed the photograph back, leaning in to kiss Gabrielle’s cheek. “You look very happy in that picture,” He mused. “Can I see some more?”

He had noticed her distaste for the cigarette it seemed. Gabrielle wondered if she should apologize, but decided against it. It wasn’t her fault that she disliked the smell, and she couldn’t change that about herself. When Edgar put it out and came closer she let her body lean into his, finding a comfortable spot with him. She crossed her legs and let the album rest open in her lap, before her gaze went to the photo Edgar was holding.

His observations were all correct. Fleur was a tiny little thing, and Gabrielle herself had changed a great deal since she was fifteen. At least she liked to think she had. When he handed it back and asked for another, she gave a small nod. Carefully, she slipped the first back into its place, before turning a few pages. Grinning when she spotted one, she pulled it out and handed it over. “Apolline and I on my first day going to Beauxbatons.” Both girls were in the traditional blue uniform, hats positioned at identical angles on their heads, both grinning ear to ear. “I was so happy to finally go.” Gabrielle’s voice was quiet and she looked down. “I miss her.”

Gabrielle took another moment, before shaking her head, and looking back to Edgar. “Do you have any photos hidden here somewhere?”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

concrete-donuts:

british wizards be like, “omg hogwarts is the best wizarding school in the world” oh really? well beauxbatons didn’t have lord fucking voldemort on campus every other year

[littlemusings]

[notyourfrenchdoll]

justameliasbones:

Amelia was fully prepared to shoot back with a snide remark about what the true meaning of the phrase “leave me alone” meant before realizing the person who had approached had a familiar sounding french lilt in her speech. She looked up, locking eyes with Gabrielle and was suddenly overcome with embarrassment for being so rude to someone she considered a close friend. “Oh - Gabrielle!” Amelia exclaimed, a faint blush creeping across her cheeks. “Sorry - It’s just - I just - it’s nothing, really - it’s only -” 

Amelia sighed and gestured wildly to the stacks of parchment and open books and files crowding the small library desk. “All of this is the application for the Youth Representative to the Wizengamot. There is just one more final round and the competition at this point is very, very tense and it’s pressure enough being nominated and I just really want to be chosen.” She slumped in her chair, letting the stress wash over her. It had been her dream to work for the Ministry ever since she was a little girl. She was so close that she could almost taste it. Almost see the dim lights of the Wizengamot room, hear the sounds of members shuffling into their seats and rustling the papers for that day’s trial. She just wanted it all so badly. “I’m sorry Gabrielle. It’s just been rather stressful lately trying to catch up to this application and everything that’s been going on here at school.”

It was immediately clear to Gabrielle that Amelia was stressed about something - she acted just like Edgar when he got that way. The table in front of her was covered in some kind of paperwork. Gabrielle wasn’t sure exactly what it was, it didn’t look like normal homework. “Hey.” Giving the younger girl a gentle look, the blonde took a careful seat. “Breathe. It’s okay.”

When Amelia began speaking again, Gabrielle’s eyes traveled to the paperwork once more. She remembered hearing mention of Amelia’s desire to work at the Ministry, and briefly remembered her own facade. It seemed like an entire lifetime had passed since she had last even thought of it. With the way things were going everyone was more focused on the present anyway. “Well then it is an immense testament to your character that you were nominated, yes?” Her voice was gentle and quiet. “Amelia things will work out as they are meant to. And you are allowed to be stressed.” Gabrielle hardly seemed one to talk on that subject, but she would try her best.

[notyourfrenchdoll]

lilianexchastain:

“I know, and I can fight.” She had learned that at the Hogsmeade attack. She was capable - maybe even good - when she had to be. It wasn’t something she enjoyed, or that she would ever choose to do, but she had courage and ability. In the event that she had to fight, she would. “I’ll do what I have to do. I’m an adult. I can do that.” Just saying it had given her a measure of … peace, of calm, that had been missing before. Taking her future into her own hands rather than passively waiting for her parents to choose a husband for her was liberating.

“Everyone likes Tante Jocelyn,” Liliane said with a laugh. Her parents might not approve of Jocelyn’s choices, but she was such a free spirit that everyone in pureblood society loved to see her - when she deigned to make an appearance anywhere. Mostly she was content with her potions. Liliane squeezed Gabrielle’s hand gently, grateful for the support. She wouldn’t be able to do anything if it weren’t for her friend at her side. “I feel so helpless and I hate it. I don’t think Luc was right to try and force me into participating but …” She paused, glancing down at their hands for a moment before meeting Gabrielle’s gaze again. “If I have the ability to do good in the world, don’t I have the moral obligation to do it? Everything is escalating so quickly. I don’t think I can just sit out of the fight anymore. It wouldn’t be right. I don’t want to turn into one of those witches who does the wrong thing by simply refusing to take a stand.”

From anyone else the words may have sounded defensive, but Gabrielle knew Liliane, and knew how much deciding all of this meant for her. It had been almost amazing to see how many stands the other girl had taken in deciding her own life over the past year, against multiple people who had tried to tell her how to live her own life. Gabrielle was impressed, and it showed.

“I was not saying that I did not think you could.” Her words were reassuring as she gave her friend’s hands a squeeze. There was no part of Gabrielle that doubted Liliane, or her abilities, but what she was saying was incredibly serious. Gabrielle had been thinking about it all since the rumblings of the war had started, and had only made her decision in the past year. “Luc was not right to do that. No one is right to force you to do anything.” She reminded her gently, her eyes falling with Liliane’s. She listened to her next words carefully, and her eyes quickly met her friends. “You could never be one of those witches.” she reassured, before taking in a deep breath. “There is a group... I am probably not supposed to be talking about it, but a group that fights against them - all of them.” Her eyes scanned the Hall, focusing for moments on the other members she could pick out. “We cannot do much while we are still in school, but once we graduate,” Gabrielle’s eyes met Liliane’s once more, completely serious. “We will be taking a stand.”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs:

That is not your shirt. Edgar looked down in bewilderment at his shirt, realizing with a start that it most certainly wasn’t his shirt. He scrambled around, struggling to pull it off of his arms. He hadn’t noticed how tight it was when he shoved his arm through, but he was certainly noticing now, because it was difficult to move it all the way. It was at this moment that his own shirt and pants slapped him in the chest and he moved towards Gabrielle with a speed that looked unnatural coming from him. “Help me get this off,” He said, eyes flickering towards the door. He could still hear the footsteps, and they were growing ever closer. 

It took a bit of tugging from Gabrielle to get the shirt off, but eventually they did, and he rocketed back off towards his other clothes. Seeing the look on Gabrielle’s face, he shook his head at her, before diving down for his own shirt. Repeating the move he had before, he shoved his arms through each hole and then began to fasten each of the buttons. With that done, he lunged for his pants and shoved his legs through. It was at this moment he spotted his tie, so without even buttoning his pants, he grabbed for it and slid it around his neck. His fingers were shaky in his panic as he tried to tie it, but he didn’t think about that, completely engrossed in trying to make sure his tie was properly tied around his neck.

Gabrielle made a quick move to Edgar and began tugging at her shirt - how in the hell had he gotten it on?! - before it finally came off. Sliding her own arms through it, she quickly did the buttons, before her eyes landed on her skirt. She was able to slip it on quickly, fastening it into place as she stood. She was sure her hair was a mess, and her clothes were noticeably less pressed than before, but she was dressed. The footsteps were coming nearer, and running her hands through her hair, she looked back to Edgar.

His pants were still undone, and he was completely focused on his tie. Gabrielle’s brows raised and her mouth fell a bit. “Edgar,” She was collecting her bag and shoving her robe into it, and looked back to him. “Edgar, I love you, you are wonderful - but this is not the time to be focusing on your tie.”

[notyourfrenchdoll]

edgxrbxnxs:

This had been Edgar’s plan. It had been his idea to round everyone up. It had been his idea to send out those fives students. It had been his idea that had gotten Glenda Chittock captured. He wasn’t exceptionally close to Glenda as far as friendships went, but she was a good, nice person and he felt terrible for what had happened. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, he was turning it over and over in his head. Gabrielle’s presence helped, certainly. She definitely lessened the burden that the anxiety placed on his chest, but as good as she was, she was not a complete fix.

However, her words certainly helped. It’s okay to be scared. I am too. He closed his eyes then, taking in a breath through clenched teeth. He was more than scared… he was terrified. And he didn’t know how to make it go away. It wouldn’t go away, not until he knew what had happened to Glenda. “Did– did I make a mistake by calling that meeting?” He finally whispered after a long and silent pause, his eyes still closed. “Is this my fault? I– I think it feels like my fault.”

It was easy to see how worried Edgar was about all of this, and Gabrielle ached for him. As much as it was his idea, the rest of them had agreed to it - no one had argued or contested against it. Everyone thought it was a good idea, and the five that had gone, Glenda included, had agreed to that. Perhaps it wasn’t the best way to reckon through all of it, but is was the only way Gabrielle could without spiraling down her own nervous path.

“Hey. No one blames you.” Her eyes were searching for his, though his were closed. She let her hand travel further up his arm, her previous light tracings becoming more substantial as she tried anything to get him to hear her. “We all agreed to it. She agreed to it.” Gabrielle was feeling wholly unhelpful, and she hated it. She loved Edgar, but who was she if she didn’t know how to help? Perhaps it was a mix of her own fears, but still. “And we are going to find her.”