maybe I will fly myself out this place someday

[nourbkh]

Words said without actions taken to have them proven, are nothing but empty scattered letters put together to mean nothing.

[nourbkh]

Why is it always the closest people that turn into strangers?

Strangers who know your deepest secrets..

[nourbkh]

Having experiences that ended in a terrible way doesn't necessarily mean that the next experience you'll be having will end the same way!

It's okay to allow yourself feel safe again ❤

As it's okay to be reasonably cautious.

[nourbkh]

It's not about having no more pain

It's about knowing how to deal with it when there

[nourbkh]

You know what my main dream is? To have my life ended by good looking angels coming towards me smiling welcoming me into the new other world, gently having my soul separated from my dying body.

Rather than that, I don’t mind having goals not achieved, because what if my patience for such despair is my key to the endless heaven? The immortal forever-happy version of me!

[nourbkh]

Songs and smells hit worse than thinking of memories..

Hearing a song unexpectedly hurt way more than seeing a precious photo by sudden.

You relive the moment with all the feelings you once had, so strong that it seems as real as if you’ve gotten back in time, as if you time travelled to that exact moment.

You see the persons that were around right in front of you, you see yourself, the looks you made, you hear the voices, the laughs, the tears, the words being said.

It doesn’t matter how many years have passed since then, it will always attack the same.

[nourbkh]

They say people come and go, you get attached then used to no longer having them around every so often

Then why have I been unable to get over that someone throughout the years?

[nourbkh]

I would like to thank you ! Things you have written here were literally translations of my exact thoughts which I couldn't spell or write down.

again Thank you so much

I truly appreciate your words, they mean a lot to me so thank you!

[nourbkh]

They say writers can express their feelings even more perfectly when they are in pain, why do I feel that speechless then? Suffocated as if there is a soft hand touching my neck treacherously trying to choke me, with my eyes resisting the waterfall stuck in them, giving that cold look to the mirror while pain is felt everywhere. 

“I’m going to explode”, an inner voice said.

But you won’t even tell a word huh? How will you let a hurricane out?

[nourbkh]

- Oh dear soulmate, it’s creepy to separate from you after all these years of having us arrange together.

- You know you still will live within my soul, and so will I.

- Time will pass, only your memory will remain and I will no longer be able to recognize you because time darling, will have us as totally different people eventually, the girl you met when you were 17 isn’t the same you're saying goodbye to in your 23.. Or is she?

- 𝐖𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲, 𝐰𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰

[nourbkh]

Claiming I'm ignoring those painful waves and dark shadows filling my empty chest. No! I am really totally okay! It's just like if there are some small sharp knives scratching my soft skin cruelly, cutting that red beating organ inside.. That's all! Nothing bad like the hole in there.. I'm totally okay and I'm feeling nothing! It's just my head that would never stop overthinking the pain!

[nourbkh]

Me unlike a lot of people, I appreciate Farwell moments, I’d love to be honored having our own goodbye. I’d like to keep staring at your eyes as if it’s a forever moment, while you’re there having them full of tears and strong emotions with a smile beautifully put on your face, I’d love to touch your skin so I save the feeling for good. I’d love to tell you I love you over and over! I love you, I love you.. I’d touch your hand softly, remember every detail of it. But I’m not hugging you or else my heart will be stuck on yours, or else I’d hold on to you real tight and never let you go, never allow you gone.

And after all of that, it’s my secret hobby to reach you out again and ask you how did you feel about everything? How did you feel about our very last moment?.. And my old self would just grab you again, keep existing around, but darling, no, the length of years I once cared about won’t bother me anymore, nor my attachment, nor my love.

[nourbkh]

It's not about what you eventually reach!

It's about the whole process, the details, the steps, the unnoticed small achievements, your feelings during the whole time you trying to do something.

[nourbkh]

She didn't let go, when life forced her to.

She made it then in a sudden moment of random happiness, she lost it all! Unexpectedly.. And this time the story isn't sad with a happy ending.

It's a happy one! Full of volution and passion, ended with loss.. Meaninglessly..

Is it the end though? Or is the beginning of something else? A whole new different thing!

[nourbkh]

يحدث أن تقاطع سعادتك أو قوتك أغنية، تجعل من دموعك الدافئة تنهمر دون استئذان منك، لتجد نفسك تشعر بكل حزن أو ألم تجاهلته قبلا..

وأنت الذي ظننت أنك بسلام رغم كل شيء.. سلام وهمي؟ تمسك قوي بأمل رهيف؟ لكي لا تضعف ولا تنهار..

[nourbkh]

- How come you fell for him?

- He never hurt me

- Give it time

[nourbkh]

-A touch? He asked

-Hm.. She murmured

-Why? He wondered

-It's honest, it's real, it's deep, you feel wanted, chosen.. " don't want anyone but you, feel me! I'm right here beside you, getting into you, slowly means calmly, wlidly means lustfully, and in all the states of my mind, I still want you, I still touch you.. I still love you.. My one and only".

- You're dying for it

- I'm starving for real connection