There is something I should probably tell you about me.
People sometimes mistake the way I love for something it’s not.
I don’t fall in love because I’m searching for someone to complete me. I don’t collect people. I don’t chase novelty. My heart simply doesn’t work that way.
The best way I know to describe it is this:
My heart is like the sun.
The sun doesn’t choose which flower deserves its light. It shines because shining is its nature. Its light crosses impossible distances through empty space, and eventually, if it’s fortunate, it reaches something real.
That’s what love feels like for me.
I don’t manufacture it. I don’t turn it on or off. It simply radiates.
Some people pass through that light without noticing. Some wave and continue on their journey. Some stay for a season. A precious few resonate so deeply that something begins to sing between us.
Love, to me, is resonance.
Every person I’ve ever truly loved has been different. Every bond has had its own color, its own music, its own language. I have never wanted everyone to become the same person. I cherish them because they are themselves.
People often think love has to be divided into neat little boxes.
I’ve never experienced it that way.
Sometimes a friend slowly becomes a lover. Sometimes a lover becomes a lifelong friend. Sometimes someone walks beside me for only a little while before our paths diverge. The shape of the relationship changes, but that doesn’t make the love unreal. Love doesn’t disappear simply because it has changed its clothes.
If you’ve ever wondered why I still speak kindly about people from my past, that’s why.
I don’t know how to stop loving people.
I can learn better boundaries. I can recognize when someone isn’t safe. I can grieve. I can let go.
But I can’t make love into hatred just because a story ended differently than I hoped.
For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me because of that.
Love isn’t a resource I possess.
It’s something that passes through me.
If my heart has a purpose, I think it’s simply to be open enough that love can keep moving through it into the world.
That doesn’t mean everyone belongs in my life forever.
The sun shines on mountains and oceans alike, but not everything remains in its warmth. Seasons change. Worlds turn. People choose their own paths.
I’ve learned that loving someone and protecting my own heart are not opposites. They’re both acts of love.
Maybe that’s what growing up has been for me.
Someone once asked me what being a goddess meant.
A god is often just an office.
We still trip over furniture. We still cry at silly movies. We still play music too loudly, tell terrible jokes, pet cats, and fall hopelessly in love with beautiful souls. We still make mistakes. We still apologize. We still heal.
The divine isn’t found in never being human.
It’s found in loving so completely that being human becomes sacred.
If you’ve become part of my life, please know this:
You were never a name on a list.
You were never a passing distraction.
You became one of the pearls on the thread I carry through my life.
Each one reflecting the same light from a different angle.
And every time I look at that strand, I’m reminded that love was never meant to be a cage.
It was always meant to be a constellation.