Hocus Pocus Alakazam

Noah Hathorne 25 Bartender Cat Dad Hedonist Demon in Disguise "The Incubus"

[rel8able-lyrics]

"My biggest enemy is me ever since day one."

- "911" sung by Lady Gaga

[unclefather]

[samdashh-deactivated20210615]

i jus wanna get really drunk and have wild sex for hours

[klaw]

how is “””pretty boy””” supposed to be an insult i’m the prettiest goddamn boy in town

[chiiesa]

“‘You know what the problem is?’ he asked, ‘It’s not that I’m not enough, it’s that you’re empty. You’re just so goddamn empty and greedy that every single person on this fucking planet could love you and it wouldn’t be enough for you.’”

— Criticisms (#49: January 10, 2014)

[wishfulthinkinglove]

he looks up, grinning like a devil

[tkkatherineblog]

[noxh-hathorne]

carolinedcvis:

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but somehow that doesn’t surprise me at all. you have a certain vibe about you that sort of showed that. Remind me where you’re from?” she shrugged, raising an eyebrow at him. “Well, I appreciate that I could at least be second best to you.”

“No offense taken. I’ve always gotten around. It started just as another way of pissing off and embarrassing my parents, but I got a lot of kicks out of it. What can I say? I’m a natural. Savannah, Georgia. Can’t you tell by my southern wiles?” He laughed, “Hey, I don’t have a lot going for me. I’ve got my looks, and— yeah, that’s about it. At least you got a bangin’ personality on top of being hot.”

[noxh-hathorne]

themagnificentvincent:

“please, your dick is the size of a shriveled up grape and I can confirm since I’ve actually seen it.” he said rolling his eyes slightly and scoffed at his remark. it annoyed him sometimes how the other thought that he was the best when really he was just mediocre. “heard there’s some new places opening up in town. why don’t we go there?”

“Vince, my man, didn’t your parents teach you not to lie? See, lying can manifest itself into some serious health problems. Stress, anxiety, insomnia, et cetera, et cetera. Honestly, I’m just trying to look out for you, Vincey.” He was smirking harder than ever now. “Sounds like the hottest guy in town is asking me out on a date. This is taking me back to my high school years. Do I get laid now or do I have to wait until after prom?”

[noxh-hathorne]

carolinedcvis:

“Just boy issues. She’s fourteen, so that and high school are really her only concerns right now, and it’s probably easier for her to come to me than her mom or my dad about boys. I always had issues going to my dad about that stuff growing up,” she chuckled. “It’s a shame you forgot, then. I mean, I definitely won’t stop you from saying it.”

“Oh, boy issues? That’s fun. I’ve been involved and admittedly the source of many, many boy issues in high school. It’s a good thing my dad owned the town or else I would probably be beat up by lots of dads, big brothers, and big sisters.” He said it all so casually, practically lighting up at her response. “Well, I think you have great lips too. Almost as pretty as mine.”

[noxh-hathorne]

carolinedcvis:

“sorry about that- my step sister is having a crisis back home, so it’s big sister to the rescue. teenager drama is like none other,” the blonde shrugged, setting her phone down. she sighed softly at his comment and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. “i’m not sure if you did. it might have been to the other blonde over there, but i’ll be the first to say that flattery gets you almost everywhere nowadays.” she laughed softly, raising a brow.

“Oh, really? What happened? Well, look at you being a good big sister and shit. My sister never came to my rescue. Usually just made shit worse.” Noah tilted his head only slightly, raising an eyebrow. “Really? I usually have such good memory. See, that’s what I’m saying. I mean, I can flirt all day here.”

[noxh-hathorne]

grxcelee:

“sounds like hell. we never did the church thing, but i definitely understand. how do you use your imagination for church?” she hummed, leaning her elbow against the bar with a small sigh. “i’m not into the drug scene personally, but if you’re getting laid from this shit, more props to you.” she laughed softly, giving a shrug to follow. “i mean, that makes sense. i have to admit though,  i’m definitely one of those people, i love the sugary shit.”

“Oh, it was. Lucky you. My parents don’t really give a shit about church either. It was all for optics. And you know, you imagine that you’re anywhere else.” He shrugged, “Alcohol’s a drug, Advil's a drug, coffee’s a drug. We’re all addicts, man.” He smiled at her, more genuinely this time, nodding his head. “It’s all good; I don’t blame you. They’re designed to be delicious, so. What’s your go-to?”

[noxh-hathorne]

g-saunders:

Georgia snorted at Noah’s antics, side eyeing him, texting as she spoke. “Yes you have, like the first time we met. And the second. Plus now! If you keep that up I’m gonna start thinking you don’t like the rest of me,” she teased, pouting as she placed the phone on the table, full attention back on him, “Sorry, that was my father. Now tell me, what new trick did you teach your cat?”

“Oh, I’d love to compliment the rest of you. I just work with what I can see, that’s all.” Noah leaned back, tapping his fingers lightly on the table while she finished her text. “Your old man, huh? How’s he doing? Oh, the trick. Basically, I taught Ghost how to high five, believe it or not. And, uh— I taught Phantom how to knock down glass vases and claw up furniture, let’s go with that.”

[noxh-hathorne]

obsequicus:

“I’M SO SORRY. I CAN’T HELP IT.” She wasn’t sure why she decided to keep her voice low when it had only been the two of them. “I sent an e-mail to my teaching assistant and I was worried I sounded too pushy or if I was bothering too much. Thankfully, an hour and a half later they replied to me.” The anxiety had been killing her and she wasn’t sure if she had something incorrect or if she was just being too annoying. When she turned her phone off and tucked it inside of her purse, she tucked loose strands behind her ear. “There; it’s gone.” She announced before her eyes went straight back onto the screen. She could feel his eyes on her and she turned to look right back at him. “Flattery is not going to get you anywhere. However, I do appreciate the stream of compliments, babe.”

“You shouldn’t stress about it. The TAs technically work for you, if you think about it. You gotta get your grades in order and shit, right? What class, anyways” The bartender turned around, grabbing himself a beer and holding a second one up as an offer to Brynn. “Usually I just drink liquor, but I like to make exceptions.” He shook his head. “Nah, flattery gets me everywhere. As long as it’s accompanied by patience. I’ll keep the compliments flowing as long as I have material to work with, babe.”

[noxh-hathorne]

lizcths:

“Aw Ghost, you don’t deserve that sweet baby” she mused with a pout “I was his favorite anyways” she noted before cringing slightly and groaning in response to his familiar remarks. “Good lord, I can’t believe you just said that. I mean, yes I can because it’s you but still” she sighed softy. “Oh come on, you can’t tell me that like you haven’t said it to every other person you’ve met. You can’t play your old tricks on me, Noah. At least change it up a bit”

“Hey! There’s a lot I don’t deserve, but I do right by my lil’ fur sons in this world. I never deserved you, but I deserve my mini menaces.” He crossed his arms, shaking his head with a slight grin. “Yeah, yeah. I always thought it was weird he took a liking to you. He just hides under the bed and refuses to come out for anybody else.” He let his arms down, shrugging softly now. “People keep saying that to me. Since when have I needed tricks? I mean, c’mon, look at me! I’m really tall. Since when did you need game when you’re tall and got a big dick? The metrics change every year, I’m telling you.”

[noxh-hathorne]

lizcths:

Rolling her eyes, Liz sighed softly at the other “Please, I know your cat. It doesn’t have the attention span or patience for you to teach it much of anything” she concluded her face scrunching up at him as a groan accompanied his complement. “Nice to see your still full of it, Noah. Some things never change, hu?”

“Okay, hold up. You’re talking about Phantom! You know him too well, holy shit. But I taught Ghost how to open and close the door, I swear to God. I’ll send you a video, okay.” Putting both hands on the bar, an obnoxious snicker escaped from his lips. “Y’know me, babe. Dick so big had to put some of it in my personality. But seriously. You do have beautiful eyes.”

[noxh-hathorne]

grxcelee:

“i’ll remember to try to use that more,” she raised a sculpted brow, taking a sip from the drink in front of her. “okay, that’s valid. i mean, i’d probably flirt for the tips, but more power to you. getting a fuck out of it isn’t a bad deal,” she shrugged. “what would you call them?”

“You should. It’s how I get through every day. Definitely a necessity when my parents forced me to go to church back in the olden days.” He nodded, grin widening. “See? Now you get it. It’s all about getting laid. Or drugs. But you can get that for free when the dick’s good, so it’s all gucci. I’d call them trash, I dunno. I mostly just drink Vodka straight, so whenever I make cocktails I just make sure to put a shit ton of the sugary shit. People tend to like whatever they can’t taste the alcohol in.”