She was tongue tied, her voice stuck in her throat as she was about to speak, her mind and ego not allowing her to say what she dearly wanted to say. Stormy blue eyes looked up at him, hard, glassy, confused, shifting from the ground as her hands gripped the music box hard to the point that her knuckles turned white. Her body was oddly tense, like a ball of energy, a wound clockwork waiting to be released, almost as though she was about to flee. And her mind kept jumbling as time passed, a tense internal conflict going on inside of her.
Janna gave him a desperate, incredulous look, almost angry as the question passed his lips. No, she was angry, she was furious, seething. How can he be so blind? How can he do something so right but at the same time do something extremely wrong? She resisted the urge to throw the music box back in his face and simply turn away and run. No, she will not do that. That was a childish thing to do. She had to grow up at some point.
And so did Talon.
"Why of all things would you say that?!" she blurted out as the chiming music died. Her cheeks were blotched now as a few tears streaked down her warm cheeks. She wanted to hit him, to knock some sense into him.
Why is he so oblivious? No, does he even think of me anything more than just a friend?
"Youāre so stupid!" the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them. A hand flew to her lips, looking up at him in shock, wondering how heād react. For a brief moment, she wondered if heād go away once more. This time, permanently. A small gasping sigh came, which sounded a little like a choked sob before she took a few steps away from the assassin.
"Talon, Iām in love with you," she said. Might as well say it now since the damage has been done. Each word that came out hurt, each word scared her, the possibility of losing the man she cared about terrified her. However, if she did not say it, she was afraid that she might go mad, just for keeping it in for far too long. For a year, she withheld her feelings, the pain, the hurt, always walking on eggshells around him, always making sure her feelings werenāt known so that he wouldnāt go away.
No more.
Janna backed away a few more steps, her back was now against the door, a hand resting on the doorknob, withstanding her urge to flee. Sheās had lovers, of course, sheās been in relationships with men. But none of them ever left her feeling the way she did with Talon. None of them ever did not reciprocate how she felt.
And the possibility of that with Talon scared her. Her eyes never left him, wide and scared, waiting for a reaction.
:: Talon found himself taking a few steps backward at the fierce look Janna had offered him. She looked absolutely furious, and a massive jolt of guilt surged through his chest at her angered words, causing him to wince visibly. His eyes narrowed and his hands came to ball into fists at his sides, the openly-expressed, vulnerable readability he often gave to her disappearing in an instant. He stared at her with his normal cold and hard-faced demeanor, watching pointedly as she continued to yell at him. Though he looked apathetic or even angry, he was only experiencing a whole new level of pain--something completely and utterly foriegn to him. This level of emotional turmoil currently boiling inside of his body was unlike anything he had ever felt in his life. This level of hurt, this level of confusion, this level of everything was swirling and thrashing around in such a way he felt helpless to even himself. It was his natural reaction to shut down, tuning out his emotions in an attempt to keep himself stabilized. But her next words--those six, defeated little words, shot all of his efforts to hell. Cocoa eyes widened as they continued to stare, gaze piercing, at the crying woman currently leaning against the door. From her sobs, to the white-knuckled grip on the doorknob, it was evident she were wanting to escape. He had no reason to disbelieve the sudden confession. It was as if all of a sudden the world had changed, and he could not bring himself to look around just yet, letting the silence hang heavily in the air between the two. The only thing breaking the stillness were Janna's occasional whimpers, and the crackling embers of the fireplace on the wall. Then, it was finally Talon's turn to avert his gaze, lowering his eyes to stare blankly at his feet. His lips parted, though no sound came out, before closing again, brows furrowed. Why couldn't he speak? He needed to say something. Anything. Just keep her from running away! Though his mind continued to urge, he could not find any words, the shock keeping its iron grip on his throat. Ashamed, he looked away to the side, the shock beginning to subside, allowing that tumultuous storm of emotions to return. Some time would pass before he would finally feel grounded enough to voice his reply. "Janna, I..." his voice cracked, volume weak, lacking its usual assertive, dominant tone. Slowly, his world began to shift into a new perspective, as he looked back upon the year they had known each other. Of course... There were so many instances of her blatant flirting towards him, and he had been completely oblivious, seeing it as mere kindness to someone as undeserving of it as him. How could he have been so blind? Ā But, then, why was it he had accepted it all? Perhaps he allowed her to get so close and break down decades worth of mental barriers and stigmas against people because he enjoyed it? ... No, that couldn't be the reason. He enjoyed her company, but not for the whimsical dotings she sometimes offered. He truly enjoyed her presence, it having the ability to bring him this level of serenity he never experienced before. He was drawn to it, this... allure she always seemed to have on him. Could... maybe...? Talon finally raised his head, his face holding a much softer expression than it had been prior. He held out his hand, beckoning her to come to him silently with a few bends of his fingers. He was unable to speak just yet since he still could not find the appropriate words. Instead, he allowed his body to speak for him. He was never good with voicing things, anyways. He just wanted to grab her, to hug her, and to keep her close, and it was taking a massive amount of restraint to keep from lunging forward to do that. The sorceress was clearly emotionally charged, and all it would take would be one errant move to send her fleeing out into the snowy night. He had to tread carefully now that he was aware of her emotions. It was a whole different game now, and he needed to be sure he played his cards right. After all, this were something new to him, and he only had one chance to not fuck things up again. Talon just hoped that Janna understood that is intentions were not ill, and stood, eyes pleading, waiting for her to take his hand. ::
