homotron 800 @npdsheffield - Tumblr Blog

hi my name is serph (crazy ik) this is my alter specific sideblog im normal and everything. prns are he/it.

im mad at myself because i know "i could get my dad to let me go to queensland." meant nothing at all but i keep feeling weird about it like it was anything other than trying to be friendly idfk like dude if you want to be friends after our relationship ended because of long distance but then suddenly immediately tell me in an unrelated conversation that youd come see me no issues if i were feasibly close by what should i expect from that??? what should i expect from you coming to see me in person for an extended period of time??? would it make me want to kill myself because i still love you??? probably!!!

during pride month too. it's been like a month since it ended and im definitely doing a lot better but world's biggest cringe lord alert i get mad every time he reminds me he has a social circle that i dont know like why do i care even if we were dating thats still not my business. ew i need to like go get a hobby or something

they should make it possible to stop being jealous or caring about your ex im living the worlds most embarrassing life tbh

how do i stop being such a jealous fucking cunt bro i need to die

id feel better if I could go like get really drunk and die somewhere but I cant because itll probably kill me so who fucking cares

im really pathetically sad about everything i guess my meds are helping stabilize my emotions which is really good but i still cant really find a consistent way to feel and it sucks. im a useless bum who can't commit to making big decisions anyway so it doesn't fucking matter I was never going to be able to make it work

whatever i guess it doesn't matter the timing is fine because the spirit airlines closing made sea->mel flights go from 1300 to 2100 usd anyway so my useless money couldnt meet any of his needs anyway

im just going to be done with dating for a while ive been in some kind of relationship for so long that i legitimately have not been single since i was about 13 or 14. maybe i need this.

like oh my god cringe fest alert!! you both still want to be close friends and everything it's just that long distance was too difficult and you have different needs that can't be met online or generally because of some personal issues!! yet it still feels soul crushing and stupid to be upset over the end of an almost four year relationship and the future you had mentally built for yourself slipping out of your grasp

i think the world's stupidest thing is understanding why a breakup had to happen and being at peace with that but still being unable to stop crying like a fucking child about it

i love not being very public about being a system because truthfully it has saved me so much time and energy not engaging with syscourse but also at the same time im soooooooooooooooooo susceptible to wanting to make posts about the guys in my brain and that kind of thing. such is life

hi for some reason im getting attention on this blog as in people are giving my posts notes and im just going to say please do not do that this is my alter blog that im too mentally unsound to make private. rent lowering gunshots just in case: i am the host of a system and am also an introject of serph sheffield from digital devil saga 2 and also the only thing i post about is being fucking miserable for genuinely no reason

it doesnt matter at all that some people hate heat so much like thats literally fine they dont want to kill me specifically for liking him and finding him funny. i take everything so personal i hate having npd

my evil brain is like stupid because it chooses some people in the fanbases of everything i get into to respect often people i dont know or ones who barely interact with me and then when they start having opinions that disagree with my opinions i start feeling bad like im stupid and an embarrassing idiot that they would hate and i should die for it. i have a normal relationship with my own self perception and my relationship with the idea of popularity. my username does not at all depict what might influence my behaviors

whoever took the chelicerata url on rentry and isn't even using it. im sending my evil spider after you

my roommate very loudly weeps in the kitchen very frequently and i don't really understand it it kind of annoys me but i guess it isn't really her fault i just do not have the ability to not be irritated by it

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