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Yo, ladies and gays. You've reached casa alla Puckerstud. If this is a wrong number then it's your lucky day. Name's Puck and anything else ain't gonna do so don't call me Noah unless you wanna lose a finger. Before you get all freaky shit on my ass, being 19 and a high school graduate makes me totally legal for a night in my pants. But maybe not 'cause of the girlfriend. I have one of those [AU Mottaman, Brittana & Jarmony 3x3]

[badasssugarrae]

I think it's time for one of my famous parties.

Who’s in?

[npuckazilla]

You know I'm always game with ya, babe

[npuckazilla]

How are you and Sugar doing?

Me and the Sweets are cool. Ice cold, dude. I was a bit of a dick but she loves me. Nothing a box of chocolate and a few orgasms couldn’t fix up

[npuckazilla]

Thought it was just about time to get myself a nice fitting fancy-as-fuck suit for whenevs Sugs takes me to one of those dinner things with the rich ass folks. Don't wanna look like a hoodlum forever.. I mean, totally good for the street cred but my mom is on my freaking ass about it.

[npuckazilla]

@Puckerstud Pretending the target is Smythe's face is my fave pastime.  (via Instagram)   

[badasssugarrae]

I love you.

[npuckazilla]

I love you too, Sweets.. Don't cry on me! I'm too manly for that

[stonedheartedjoe-deactivated201]

Uh. Hah…. I wouldn’t go that far, dude. I ain’t a fucking prince, but…. yeah. Guess I’m just lucky n’shit.

[npuckazilla]

Nah I wouldn't go as far as prince either, man... You don't have those gay as fuck pants and jackets

[stonedheartedjoe-deactivated201]

Don’t ya worry, Plucky. I got you.

Okay…. yeah. I’m pretty sure he’s killed 99.9% of his brain cells n’shit, but…. the dude’s fucking righteous. Fo’ sho’. Dude. I thought the exact same thing, and now look where the fuck I’m at. I’ve been datin’ Harms for almost a year….. like. It’s a’ight to not know what ya doin’. Ya learn in time.

[npuckazilla]

Shit, it's really been that long? Dude, you much be a freaking Casanova or something

[badasssugarrae]

Of course. You keep me more than satisfied.

So, I’m your Queen, huh?

[npuckazilla]

You know you are. Ain't no other lady I'd wanna treat like one.

[stonedheartedjoe-deactivated201]

Really.. ? Dude…. damn. I gotta hit ya up with this shit. It’s fucking awesome. It gets the people goin’.

Yep. Only ones left in Lima. I mean…. if ya don’t include the Brettster. Well, yeah. She missed ya like crazy, man. Ya can’t really blame her.

[npuckazilla]

I'll hold you to that, man. Bro better not disappoint

Oh shit. Well you know, that dude just kinda blended in with the shrubs for me. You gotta admit, not really a man of words.. Or much else. Solid guy though. I gotta make it up to her.. I'm not good at this boyfriend stuff but I gotta learn one day.

[badasssugarrae]

Oh golly, thanks! But I’m good.

You’re incredibly sexy when you do that.

[npuckazilla]

I knew it.. I'm all the man you need, right babe?

That's just how I do. Plus y'know I need to keep my lady feeling good. It's my job as my Queen's Puckfasa.

[thatgirlharmony-deactivated2018]

…I don’t think I’d want to know what that would entail.

[npuckazilla]

I have no idea either but I'm good at improv

[badasssugarrae]

No devil’s three way for me then? Boo. Guess you’ll just have to satisfy me enough for two men

Little sweet thing? I was trying to go the dirty route, but I guess if you want to be all mushy…. 

[npuckazilla]

We could always improv with one of those dildos. I saw it on a movie once

Well I dunno. You're sweet in all days, Sweets. Why do you think I would practically love down under if I could

[badasssugarrae]

Don’t worry, I won’t make you watch any Shakespeare tonight.

Oh yeah? How much?

[npuckazilla]

Good, 'cause that'll be a turn off.. I'll just be thinking about his dick and this dude doesn't swing that way

A whole freaking ton. Not gonna lie.. Kinda sucks not to be with my little sweet thing

[thatgirlharmony-deactivated2018]

I’m sure it’s just a matter of figuring out which works best now.

About a month. Yes, we do Skype.

[npuckazilla]

We'll see, girl.. We'll see

Okay, good. I didn't wanna have to do a blue balled bro-vention or nothing

[thatgirlharmony-deactivated2018]

Got it. Still, plenty of other jobs should be popping up. Seasonal stuff… I don’t know. You’re creative. I’m sure you’ll think of something.

Well, I’m missing him too. It actually feels like I’ve been away for forever even though I know it hasn’t been all that long.

[npuckazilla]

I'll find somewhere. Got some ideas up in the old brain box

Well it's been quite a while. At least you two can like.. Skype sex and whatever right?

[badasssugarrae]

Have you been reading Shakespeare?

I love you. So fucking much.

[npuckazilla]

Nah I slept through those classes but saw these films where everyone shoots each other and dies

I love you too Sweets. I ain't gonna be disappearing again.. I mean, I missed you a lot. It wasn't cool

[badasssugarrae]

I’d have to assume so, but who knows?

Damn, you are going for major points, how many times are you looking to get fucked tonight exactly, because you’re already up to like 3 and a BJ. Surprise me. And also pizza.

[npuckazilla]

He doesn't look full of himself enough to have a big dick.. Maybe those stories he came up with would be happier 'cause like.. Doesn't everyone die all the time?

What can I say, I'm a major kinda dude. Can we just keep going 'till you lose count or we fall asleep. I mean, that's cool with me.