23 things about my first love
that I wrote when I was 18 or 19, and am posting as I am 25
1. he is extremely insecure. even though he says he isn’t, even though he tries to act like the coldest, toughest person on the planet. he’s not. go along with it. be your own strong person, but every once in a while let him think that he is protecting you.
2. let him explain everything without interruption. this makes him feel so intelligent. which he is.
3. while he is explaining things to you, you will realize how passionate he is about the things he loves. he will explain every little detail. even if you’re uninterested about what he is talking about, pay attention. the way his eyes light up about things that are important to him is one of the most beautiful things about him.
4. don’t touch his knees. his surgery on them left him with no feeling in them and it freaks him out. so do not touch them, because it makes him really uncomfortable.
5. he will let you in slowly. his walls do not all come down at once. be patient. eventually they will.
6. once his walls do come down, just listen to him. be there for him. tell him you will never leave him. that’s what he wants to hear the most.
7. his anxiety is out of his control. and what scares him the most is that he thinks that if people really see how much it affects him, they will run off. assure him that you do not care, and that you will stick around no matter what. let him know that there is nothing he could do to ever make you want to leave.
8. he loves hiking, and he is the most tender-hearted when it is just you and him and nature.
9. he loves his friends and sometimes will choose them over you. he will upset you sometimes because of this. don’t take it too personal.
10. he really has the biggest heart. if you get to truly see it, consider yourself lucky.
11. if he talks to you in baby talk, know that you have his heart.
12. he is extremely stubborn. know this before loving him. you really need to have incredible patience to deal with him, but it is worth it.
13. the best way to resolve an issue with him is not to scream and yell at him. this will only make him defensive. explain to him why you are angry and try to stay calm.
14. even if you are calm, he may not admit he is wrong until the next day. but if he is in the wrong, he will realize this later and apologize. wait it out. give him space to think. and when he says sorry, he means it.
15. try really hard to get close to his family. he is not the type that will push for this, so you have to do it yourself. but when you do become close to them, it means more to him than anything.
16. he gets genuinely hurt if you don’t smoke with him, but instead smoke with other people. or drink with other people and not him. it may seem like such a little thing but it gets to him. make sure he comes first.
17. he doesn’t show his sensitive side to virtually anyone. if you get to see it, and i mean if you really get to see it, appreciate it for all it is worth.
18. if he talks about his real dad, know that you are the closest person to him. never ask him about it. but the day he talks about it, is the day you know you have reached his core.
19. he will be your best friend.
20. it may not be material things, and he may complain sometimes, but he will do anything for you if he truly loves you.
21. he loves with all of his heart.
22. notice how he gets lost in music. don’t ever point it out, but just admire it.
23. he is like a mystery. but once you solve him, you will realize that he has the most beautiful soul you have ever known.
