late4woke

formless void with seven American dollars

[nudelakesideflorist]

My problem, hello, is Dee, short for something longer and unique that I may choose to disclose if a reason presents;

I am not yet 30 but regularly regress to my adolescence and forget that I have adult problems, responsibilities and obligations, some of which a small part of me may(?) actually even enjoy.

I made this account because back when this app was cool I wasn't allowed to have one. (It may not have even been an "app" yet I think we actually got on the fucking computer and logged into stuff during this time period) My inner child, that I helped my family of origin absolutely slaughter, has asked numerous times to do some shit I missed out on and thus; this

I have several psychiatric diagnoses and several neurological diagnoses. I don't know if one caused the other or what but Temporal Lobe Epilepsy has been shown to mimick lots of traits of ASPD~ But I'm no doctor, and everything is all made up anyway. I could just as easily say my psychiatrist is dealing with some major delusions. And my neurologist is never NOT late so hey, maybe it's fuckin brain damage. Also ADHD is the "what" that started this party

I also am not a florist, don't live anywhere near a lake and detest nudity

#not even a florist

[nudelakesideflorist]

doing what's good for ME {{ for the wrong reasons}} like a praying mantis or some other fierce little goddess

[nudelakesideflorist]

A smarter person WOULD BE WAY MORE PARANOID. Right? Here me out, you know you're pretty intelligent, far more than the average person especially around here. You're superior in other ways too, go on list them if you must, I'll wait~

But the point? You've been dipping and dodging for all the years that you've been alive and you're an exceptional being, why wouldn't someone or something be obsessed with your demise ? This is the sort of stuff my head tries to tell me.

And, it doesn't sound that crazy. So, is it ludicrous to give myself just enough suspicion for every human relationship, transaction and interaction that I have? Or is that just good policy and careful practice?

So am I paranoid? No, but if I was any more intelligent I certainly would be.

[nudelakesideflorist]

never take anything regarding me personally, cuz I can assure u that u r not special enough for it to be personal. I'm avoiding everything and everyone the exact same way, so it's fair and equal🧮

I am on a flight FROM™ reality and to™ *undetermined timeline, taking genuine suggestions btw* not that I even know any fellow travelers, {{¿do i?}}

[bitingonhim]

normalize objectifying pretty boys and reducing them to porn

[strwberrishrtcake]

yes please do this to me

[infsomniac]

lol. its so funny how people will try to make you feel ashamed of having aspd when you..... are physically incapable of feeling that way about it?

im pragmatic, really. i see it like any other illness, and like many others, it cannot be chosen. am i meant to feel embarrassed or ashamed of it because some of my actions are deemed unfavourable by society? i dont, though. i could never place something so silly high up on my list of priorities. everyone is different and just because /you/ would feel ashamed, it does not mean others will relate to that.

[nudelakesideflorist]

He doesn't want me to have friends, none whatsoever irl. It's so cute and a little fucked up, but I oblige cuz I don't like people anyway~

It's an easy win 🫣🖤

[nudelakesideflorist]

Is wanting punishment/atonement kind of similar to empathy?

[nudelakesideflorist]

Locked and loaded, Catholic relics in my handbag, and a chunk of moldavite in bra ~

[nudelakesideflorist]

not sure if the new therapist can hang....

[1xsantana]

No one understands how suffocating it feels to have ASPD & feel so isolated no matter where you are or what you’re doing.

Theres a disconnect thats involuntarily, at times I wish I were able to deeply connect & be closer to people but I can’t. I can’t help but feel nothing but a suffocating boredom that consumes me whole, seeing people connect and have fun with one another will always be such a heavy isolating feeling that I don’t think anyone will ever understand.

[nudelakesideflorist]

brain like wet cardboard

[panoptinomicon]

[psychopathperfection]

Remember: I can do what I want.

[berkeleygirl3]

[dogpuppy]

[nudelakesideflorist]

"these motherfuckers arrived here specifically to piss me off today"

Yes, I know that's irrational and not true, but I also still think it several times daily.....

[nudelakesideflorist]

Squirrel or mouse maybe

[orpheuslament]

im the person they keep adding gratuitous & unnecessary violence & sex in movies for. im running every studio executive ragged asking for even more cock & gore in cinema they simply cant keep up

[nudelakesideflorist]

Hahahahahah