(This pertains to anyone who has a vagina but for this answer I will be using female pronouns please donāt be offended). This will be long and very detailedā¦First thing to keep in mind is that you may not be able to get her off the first time. Just accept that. Itās perfectly normal because itās not exactly an easy task. So donāt be disappointed if it doesnāt happen. Itās okay. And a lot of girls are self conscious about at least a few things. They tend to prepare for sex by shaving or doing things that might make their bodies more āpleasantā for the other person. But body hair, musky feminine odor and general appearance variation in vaginas is completely normal and they shouldnāt have to feel bad about it. During oral sex, they tend to be caught up worrying about wether they āsoundā or ālookā sexy to you more than actually focusing on cumming and with girls, itās almost entirely a mental thing rather than a physical one. So they need to be relaxed, not self conscious and not concerned about how they look or sound. Or it just wonāt happen, and when itās not happening, then they tend to get self conscious about how long itās taking and feel bad for you and fake it. You can usually tell when a girl fakes it because after actually cumming their clit will immediately become over sensitized and they will pull away quickly or jolt their hips away from your mouth if you keep going after they peak. If they fake it they wonāt jolt or push away (because theyāre not over sensitized since they didnāt actually cum) and just tell you they came and sort of wait for you to stop; though some girls are so use to faking that theyāve actually even got that mastered down. Itās pretty sad. In reality, some girls close their eyes, lay still and donāt make hardly any sound at all because they have to focus that hard in their head in order to cum. So if she does that, it doesnāt mean your doing it bad, itās actually good that sheās okay focusing that hard without feeling like she has to be āsexyā. It means sheās really trying to cum and not just fake it. I will mention all of these things in casual conversation well before ever sleeping with them. Iāll bring up sex and talk about how Iāve experienced all these things and how I wish it wasnāt the case (because then they know if they sleep with me, that they donāt have to do those things or be as self conscious) it actually helps a lot for them to know Iām so aware of those things and to know its normal to me.Foreplay is very important and the longer foreplay is drawn out, the more sensitive they get (which can make getting them off a lot easier). Get her in a situation where you guys are obviously alone and have something playing in the background like a movie or show. Girls have a tendency to be very self conscious with this sort of thing and the sound and distraction of TV is comforting because a lot of times hearing the natural sounds of sex makes them more self conscious or the silence alone is awkward so they feel more obligated to make sound themselves which takes away from their focus. Netflix and chill is truly a good way to go, ha. Turning the lights off is usually comforting as well so they donāt have to worry about you seeing little flaws they think they have on their body. Another thing is- be able to be light hearted and funny in the bedroom if need be. Donāt be too serious. Smile and kiss her face now nā then. And if anything even remotely āembarrassingā happens at all during sex, pretend like you didnāt notice and distract her with something else and move on. Cuddle her and play around with her, pin her down, get her laughing then take it to a suddenly serious level and kiss her neck. Kiss her collar bones. Drag your lips up below her ears. Do this all slowly and lovingly. (Itās very sexy, trust me). Maybe move your knee between her legs and press your knee gently into her while continuing to kiss her. Grind bodies. You know, sexy foreplay things. After a while, when you eventually take her clothes off, I personally will be sure not to focus on her nudity. Iāll look at her face and smile and kiss her face and look everywhere but her breasts or crotch. Iāll run my hands everywhere, appreciating her body (because women are goddesses and should have their bodies worshipped) and kiss down her chest and stomach and Iāll usually take my shirt off. Iāll remind her sheās beautiful regularly. Iāll eventually move my body down where my head is almost between her legs, wrap my hands around her outer thighs and if she seems anxious, Iāll smile and remind her to relax. Sometimes Iāll be funny and say āShh, watch the TVā Lol.First thing, Iāll just kiss everything but āthatā. I kiss her inner thighs, her lower stomach, everywhere. Sheāll become antsy and the anticipation alone will make her more sensitive (which makes getting off easier). Iāll move my mouth over her clit multiple times, hesitating, letting her think Iām going to do something only to move away again until finally, this time around, I let my tongue slowly glide over the top of her clit. Iāll do this for a while, building up the anticipation again. Iāll move my hands around her outer thighs and place them just above her clit, (right above the pelvic bone) press down and pull gently up on her skin, which will tighten everything and allow the tip of the clitoris to be exposed. It also keeps their clit from moving while youāre doing yo thang with your tongue (if it moves too much you can lose a good place easier which is super laaaame). The tip of the clitoris is insanely sensitive so start gentle making circles around it while still keeping a firm pressure above with your hands (the pressure above can heighten sensitivity as well) run your tongue down below the clit and even inside her a little bit if you feel like it, just for fun. But the main focus with your tongue should be the clit obviously. Keep making circles, pay attention to body language, if she presses her hips closer to your mouth either go faster or use more pressure or start sucking on it periodically (be cautious of those teeth though and donāt suck too hard). I alternate between the two so that my jaw doesnāt lock up and so that I can also keep the same rhythm. (Iāve literally gone until my eyes are watering from muscle pain in my jaw before. (Because my Mamma didnāt raise no quitter) Lol, you just gotta be a trooper. Also, grab those thighs. Girls seems to like having hands on their bodies. Itās the one thing a vibrator canāt do. Hold them down, grab thighs, grab hips. Grab breasts, whatever. Itās nice. But After a while of this I think itās good to introduce fingers. Itās very hard for girls to cum just from oral, though it is possible. But Iāll use just my middle finger and if I can Iāll use both fingers. Just go slow introducing the second finger in case itās too much. Start slow, moving in and out and curl your fingers upwards when you go in in order to apply pressure in the right spot. Itās basically the underneath of the clitoris (which is surprisingly larger than most think it is, anatomically speaking). Its a spot that feels ridged (like the roof of your mouth almost) whereas the rest feels smooth. Thatās where to press. Make sort of a ācome hereā motion with your fingers, you donāt really have to go very deep. A lot of people seem to think depth is what makes it good. I donāt think so. You also do t have to go in and out. Just stay in there and massage that spot. Make sure your other hand is still holding everything back and applying slight pressure above the pelvic bone and that your still using your tongue on their clit while also using your fingers. Pay attention to body language. Grabbing sheets and breathing faster and faster is a good thing. When it comes to using your tongue, sheāll definitely let you know when youāve found a good spot so try your best to stick to it and not stop the rhythm because that slip up can cause a disruption in their focus and make it take longer. If you do, itās okay, just try to recover quickly or compensate with extra speed with your fingers while you try to find it again; though I tend to go faster with my mouth than my fingers as going too fast with your fingers makes it hard for them to feel the pressure on their clit which makes it pointless. If your mouth gets tired, I personally like to encourage girls to help out. Iāll move their hand down onto themselves and tell them I want them to touch themselves because I think itās sexy. And Iāll say please because Iām a gentleman, Lol. Iāll use my fingers inside them and theyāll be touching their clit (try not to get your hands in their way while they touch themselves) and Iāll usually bury my face into their neck (or chest if your shorter and canāt reach) so they donāt have to feel self conscious about me watching them touch themselves unless they donāt seem to care. Biting their neck is fun at that point too, I mean why not. Ha. Once a girl is cumming, keep going until it peaks (you can usually tell) then suddenly go very soft until stopping completely. Usually you stop with your mouth all together once they cum so as not to cause pain due to over sensitivity but can keep going softly with your fingers until sheās done. Itās good to keep towels around before all this so you can put a towel between their legs afterwards (sometimes the wetness can be uncomfortable) so that they can clean themselves up and so that you can wipe your fingers (try to be sly about it so they donāt get embarrassed by watching you wipe your fingers) and also look at your fingers to make sure you didnāt make them bleed, bleeding is surprisingly common and isnāt necessarily a bad thing. A lot of times they canāt even feel any pain. It just means you may need to be more gentle next time, but donāt freak.And then just cuddle or whatever and remind her that sheās sexy and beautiful and that you had fun. As I said, if she doesnāt get off, itās okay, tell her she doesnāt have to feel bad and that maybe next time you could try vibrators or other fun things. Tell her than she can give you feedback and tell you what to do or not do and that she doesnāt have to be embarrassed about it. (Sometimes their more willing to tell you afterwards through text rather than in person). But Sex should be fun. Donāt be afraid to explore and talk about it casually and light heartedly. I wish you well!
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