Antinormal

Disabled and proud. 28, Cerebral Palsy, in treatment for borderline personality disorder. Mexican. She/her, cis, bi/pan. Feminist. Survivor. Into disability studies.

[brightorangerain]

#inspirationporn #inspirational #inspiring #disabled #disability #wheelchair #ableism #handicapable #noexcuses #stopthis #thisisntokay

[cripplerage-deactivated20260121]

As a wheelchair user I'm trying to reframe my language for "being in the way."

"I'm in the way," "I can't fit," and "I can't go there," is becoming "there's not enough space," "the walkway is too narrow," and "that place isn't accessible."

It's a small change, but to me it feels as if I'm redirecting blame from myself to the people that made these places inaccessible in the first place. I don't want people to just think that they're helping me, I want them to think that they're making up for someone else's wrongdoing. I want them to remember every time I've needed help as something someone else caused.

[talkethtothehandeth]

This is a reminder that you can still serve cunt while using a mobility aid, hope that helps

[stormysapphic]

anyway here's to disabled people who are not healing. disabled people who are not recovering, ever. people with disabilities that only get worse and worse over time. people who cannot access treatment for their disabilities or whose disabilities simply aren't treatable. people who know they'll only get more and more disabled as time goes on. people who know their disability will kill them sooner or later. you are seen, you are important, you are not dead weight, and you deserve support.

[stormysapphic]

also disabled people whose symptoms get worse faster than they can get used to their present state. disabled people who can never really learn to manage their symptoms.

[briarpatch-kids]

Able bodied people's idea of how physically disabled discrimination works is fucking unrealistic. Fuckin roommate was like "oh yeah you just get it in writing why they wouldn't hire you or how they wouldn't accommodate you and then sue"

FIRST OF ALL, that's not gonna go into writing. They know better than to put it into writing. They'll say "we held a meeting to discuss accommodations and you didn't agree to them, so you quit" when the accommodations they offered were "well we can cut your hours and nothing else" or they'll say "we didn't hire you because you weren't a good fit" when the "good fit" means "not disabled."

Second of all, when you ask for it in writing, they're gonna retaliate because now they know you might report them for their illegal behavior.

Third of all, with what money?? You just got fired or pushed out or people are refusing to hire you, meaning you're broke and unemployed.

Like my man, I'm really determined and annoying. Do you REALLY think if there was a possibility of making corporations give me money for their illegal behavior and quit doing that to other people at the same time, I'd leave that on the table???

[purpleisnotacolor]

"oh you have an allergy? sorry I harassed you for being a picky eater, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. it's good to know you're not actually a picky eater, I still get to harass those people"

"oh you have chronic pain? sorry I harassed you for being lazy, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. it's good to know you're not actually a lazy person, I still get to harass those people"

"oh you're autistic? sorry I harassed you for being weird, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. it's good to know you're not actually a weird person, I still get to harass those people"

"oh you're deaf? sorry I harassed you for ignoring me, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. you're just not actually a rude person, I still get to harass those people"

"man why does everything have to be a disorder now? I miss the old days when people would TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for being failures and it was socially exceptable for me to harass them, now I look like a jerk when I bully people for annoying me."

[the-letter-s]

Honestly and I am 100% about this, if someone apologizes for harassing you after finding out you are disabled in a way that affects the thing, straight up in no uncertain terms ask them if they think it is okay to be mean to a person who behaves that way if they don't have that disability. Watch them panic.

If they try to come up with justifications just keep "why is that?"ing them fuck em up

[genderkoolaid]

don't trust anyone who sees "healing" as being synonymous with becoming functionally abled, mentally or physically. its vital that people who will never function normally– who will never leave their parents house, who will always need a caretaker, who will never be able to work to capitalist desires– are considered and told their futures are valuable.

[sadhoc]

sometimes it is straight up impossible accommodate some disabled people in a particular event. someone's dietary needs are too restrictive for anything provided to be edible for them. sometimes your house or apartment has unavoidable stairs that your landlord refuses to have adjusted. sometimes a deadly allergen is going to have to exist in a workplace (for example a company that makes peanut butter is not going to be able to have a peanut free workplace).

the solution is not to deny this. the solution is to be upfront about it and let us make our own decisions and cost/benefit analysis about whether to attend.

[magpiedminx]

From Misa on Wheels

[night-wyld-system]

I know it's going to take me a long fucking time to get used to the wheelchair- holy fuck my arms are burning.

Anyways if anyone has any advice for beginner wheelchair users that'd be great.

[wheelie-sick]

I'm dividing this into two sections, things to do that involve money and things to do that don't involve money

Advice that involves money

Buy wheelchair gloves (any sort of fingerless padded glove with extra grip works, they don't have to be specifically for wheelchair users) these will protect your hands and give you additional grip making self propelling easier. I personally use Harbinger Pro Weight Lifting Gloves 2.0, mine survive about 6-8 months before getting too worn out and I love them a lot

Buy push rim covers, these will also give you extra grip and make self propelling easier.

If you have a standard chair, get a cushion. Please please please get a cushion, standard chairs like to give people pressure sores and pressure sores are (quite literally) a pain in the ass to deal with and if they get bad enough can become severely infected. It's better to just avoid them

Get a cupholder and bag, it makes carrying things so much easier since your hands are now full 24/7

Advice that doesn't involve money

Deliberately take time to learn wheelchair skills. a lot of things that seem like cool tricks actually have a lot of practical purpose. Learn to push correctly, wheelie, hold a wheelie, move in a wheelie, hop over single curbs, drop down curbs in a wheelie, tip yourself back upright without leaving your chair, drop down stairs, safely descend down very steep slopes, etc. (a lot of wheelchair skills center around being able to wheelie)

Learn various methods of transferring even if you think you won't need them. Learn to transfer from the ground to your chair and from your chair to other chairs in multiple different ways

If you have a custom chair, learn to adjust your chair. It's much more convenient to do things like making your brakes tighter on your own than taking it in your DME store every time you need a little change

Learn to clean your wheelchair. folding mechanisms need to be lubricated and so do wheels. Casters need to have hair removed from them periodically. Seat cushions need to be washed.

If you're not able to get a cupholder or are carrying multiple drinks you can move by alternating which hand is holding your drink and which is pushing

[squimbz]

When you're learning to wheelie, get someone to spot you until you're comfortable. I tipped backwards tons of times and it has made me a little too cautious in my wheelie abilities (<-this user still can't hold a wheelie). Practicing on grass/soft terrain with a spotter is helpful.

Consider how high/low your push rims are in comparison to your hands. I found a lot of difficulty when my wheels were both too high and too low. I think the common rule of thumb is that if you're sitting upright with your hands at your sides, your fingers should reach the center of your wheels/wheel hub.

Get a cushion!!! I have two on my chair currently bc one of them is wearing out and the other isn't quite enough on its own. It's worth the investment.

Stretch, rest, and work on arm strength. It all gets easier with practice.

[cowsabungus]

A guide to designing wheelchair using characters!

I hope this helps anyone who's trying to design their oc using a wheelchair, it's not a complete guide but I tried my best! deffo do more research if you're writing them as a character

[anxietyproblem]

[muttren]

people do not know how to behave when they see a disabled person like bro why are you staring at me like im a zoo animal

[fibro-memes]

[vaspider]

I agree with this so much, and also every time I see stuff like this I am reminded of disability activist E.B. saying that "losing benefits" doesn't get to the heart of it:

There is no marriage equality until disabled people can marry without losing their sole source of independent income and independent access to health care, making them entirely financially dependent upon their spouse and unable to leave in cases of abuse or failed relationship.

"Benefits" is what the government calls it, yes, and it's not wrong, but it sounds like something optional to abled people, or something which disabled people can get by without.

If you receive SSI or SSDI -- yes, this addition is US-centric, but the concept is not -- you've gone through usually years of attempting to get those benefits, and you don't get them if you are capable of working at all. This means that if you lose your benefits, you have no independent means of self support. None. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Bupkis.

And if you want to leave that partner? You have only the money that partner gives you because your assets were previously under penury-level restrictions. Even if you had the maximum amount currently allowable, that's not enough money to get an apartment with, let alone to live on while you go through the process of applying for SSI/SSDI again, which, once more, takes years.

On top of that, not only is marriage off the table, but in many places, even the appearance of a marriage-like relationship -- living together to share resources and like... to live together -- can fuck up your life and get your sole source of independent income yanked.

And since there is a deeply ableist assumption that disabled people only marry abled people and that the abled partner would be able to take care of the disabled one, I haven't even scratched the surface of how fucked up it is that two disabled people absolutely can't get married under this system.

So, yeah. Fun times.

[pandoraborn]

Has anyone else noticed that as a society, we’re shamed for wanting to sleep? Sleeping in is bad, naps are only okay if they’re 20 minutes, you cant be tired unless you’re a <insert career/lifestyle choice here>, so on and so forth.

I mean, I think we all need to spread our blankets out, cuddle a pillow, and go to sleep. Everyone needs more of it, fuck this “it’s not productive” nonsense. It’s okay to sleep, it’s okay to want to sleep. You’re not lazy because of it.

[slow-burn-sally]

Can we also stop with the one-upping about sleep. If someone tells you they’re tired because they only got six hours of sleep, please don’t immediately say “Oh that’s nothing! I only sleep three hours a night!”. Or “you don’t even know what tiredness is until you’ve done xyz thing!”

Just stop. We should all feel totally comfortable getting the amount of sleep we need. Be it four hours or 11.

[chasingtheskyline]

Also, people who need 10 or 11 hours of sleep, or 12 or 14, do not need to do “extra” work in order to “earn” their sleep. Some people have less time and energy in their day to utilize. That is okay. Not a failure.

[flowercrowncrip]

I need a lot of sleep. Part of it’s just who I am , part of it’s my disability. I get so many snotty comments about needing to sleep in longer when it’s not a moral issue, just a natural part of human variation.

[cumaeansibyl]

I can’t say enough about the sickness of a society that shames people for wanting food and sleep.

[youngchronicpain]

Say it with me, kids, "I do not deserve this pain. I am in chronic pain due to forces outside of my control. I should not have to earn pain relief. I am good. I do not deserve to be shamed for my pain. It is not my fault."

[youngchronicpain]

The response to this post has had a great effect on me. I made it because I realized it was something that I needed to hear. It was something that had been articulated in a million small ways by the people I love but never so fully, never so clearly. And I needed it.

[2020knives]

joking about adults who rely on their parents (you know, the classic "grown men who live in their mom's basement" joke) does harm disabled people, by the way. it doesn't matter if you don't think you're targeting us. you are.

i'm getting my own living space for the first time ever in two weeks. it's in my mom's basement in a new house. i'm physically and psychologically disabled, i have multiple severe mental health conditions, multiple physical disorders, i use a powerchair, i have to spend most of my time in bed, etc... of course its in my mom's basement. i'm lucky to have a mom who cares for my support needs.

you know why i cant live fully on my own? sometimes im in so much pain or so sick i cant get out of bed for days, and if i was alone, i'd starve. i can't go outside much, and on top of my mental health issues, living in total isolation would destroy me. i can't manage appointments or finances or any of that on my own. i wasn't able to finish high school due to my physical and mental issues. i can't get a job, it takes all of my energy to do so much as take care of my hygiene, and i'm terrified of people. living on my own is dangerous for me.

this is a dream come true. we're getting a house where i can try to be independent, but if i can't, i'm safe.

and yet, i have to fear all of the implications that will have for my social life, if i'm ever able to get one. i'll have to tell people to go around back to get into my house, and when they ask why, i'll have to tell them i'm in my mom's basement. and it doesn't help that people frequently see my autistic traits and deem me a creep - great, im a creep in my moms basement, this is going to do wonders. and i'm sure all of my other mental issues will make that even better. /s

like, i dont care if youre joking about the neurotypical able-bodied people who "leech" off of their parents - first off, if you really were, i don't know where the creepy part of the joke comes in, and secondly... people have their reasons. i dont know of many people who willingly decide to keep living with their parents in a basement if they had the ability to go to their own apartment. it is not a moral failing to struggle with independence as an adult. stop acting like it is