Your Home Skillet

[nuggetyourbusiness]

Triggers: people who complain about the one kid in class who has to take the full test time to complete their test, because I was that one kid

[nuggetyourbusiness]

Things I don’t like:

Learning about new celebrities (at least new to me)

And then learning they are dead

[nuggetyourbusiness]

*hears knocking outside of window*

My mind: it's probably just a wood pecker

*five minutes later*

My mind: or a serial killer who frantically knocks on his victims windoW riGht bEfOre hE sLauGhtErs thEm

[nuggetyourbusiness]

🤔

I have a tiny ego, but I really love acting like I have a big ego because it humors me. But then I'm like, oh my gosh, what if people think I'm really into myself, so then I have to be like

I'm just kidding

But then I'm like, what if they don't believe me now? What if they just think I heard it come out of my mouth and I thought it sounded bad so I'm trying to take it back when in reality it was just a joke.

Am I over thinking this??? Or am I ruining my life?!

I also I would like to add that I say that stuff I always use a really snotty voice but then what if they think I just have a natural snotty voice now?

[nuggetyourbusiness]

Don't be a pusillanimous

[zoomerbro]

[thats-fergalicious]

There’ a little bit of Salem in all of us

[part-of-the-mystery]

I only watched the show for that cat.

[nuggetyourbusiness]

I'm rich, rich I tell you

[nuggetyourbusiness]

Nothing makes me feel as good as putting on a matching pair of socks in the morning.

[nuggetyourbusiness]

I'm not fat enough to say I'm fat, but I'm not skinny enough to say I'm not fat. You get my drift?

[nuggetyourbusiness]

I have a laptop where you can press the screen as well as use the mouse or keys, but every time I get lazy and use the touch screen I get this little taunting in my head "ooo look at you with your fancy little touch screen laptop" "back in the old days we didn't have touch screen laptops, you had to use the mouse pad" "you're just like all those lazy kids with their fancy gadgets"

I mean like, what? go away old person in my head?

[nuggetyourbusiness]

Do your eyes ever do that thing where you can't tell if something is close or far away and you have to touch it to figure it out

[nuggetyourbusiness]

I must have been a terrible person in my past life because I will shave my legs before bed and wake up to prickly legs and that's just not cool.

[nuggetyourbusiness]

Friend of my dad randomly spotting him in parking lot: oh hey! I've never met your daughter

Dad: oh she's not mine, she's a hitchhiker, I'm just taking her home

Wife of friend of my dad: how nice of you

[nuggetyourbusiness]

Why would you have a boring old handrail when you can have a tree going up your wall

[nuggetyourbusiness]

When I'm happy, I can lift a fridge

But when I'm sad, I can barely hold a 6 pack of kiwi strawberry Snapple

[nuggetyourbusiness]

*me at 3am* Hm Well I'll be ruined in the morning anyways, I suppose another episode couldn't hurt.

[fauxfable]

My 93 year old grandpa is obsessed with his singing toys😂❤️

[nuggetyourbusiness]

Me: *pokes sister* hey remember that one song we used to listen to by, I think her name starts with an A- Sister: it's "Here" Me: thanks