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[nukekyra]

Received the MOST BEAUTIFUL, incredibly well made hand made toys from @beitteri.toys #childrensart #childrenstoys #handmadetoys #madetoorder #madeinrussia I highly encourage and recommend you check these out for gifts for little ones and not-so-little ones (I won’t lie, the Penguin is for us in honor of the story I am working on). Please check her out! Thank you so much Victoria, they’re PERFECT!

[elons]

APOLOGETIC LIBS

A fun, easy-to-use format if you, a public figure, is dragged into an apology for a destructive history of sexual harassment or assault!

Hello. I want to address the stories told to [reputable New York-based print publication] by these [number] [type of person you sexually preyed on while taking advantage their trust in a professional environment]. I just want to say right now: these allegations are true. I am writing this letter to [verb that isn’t quite a synonym of “apologize”] to the [synonym for “beautiful”] women I’ve hurt in the past. I’m [adjective that’s not “sorry”] for taking out my [dick].

I came of age at a time when standards were different. It was [any time in human history that wasn’t like three weeks ago]. Almost anything was acceptable. It was okay to [verb you’d do on a farm] women. I saw my father once [verb you’d do in an Orange Julius] a woman with a [noun you’d shoplift from a Sharper Image] he found at [Lids hat store]. That was just the norm back then. You could basically do anything to a woman, especially if she was a [number less than or equal to six]. I mean, in the eyes of the law a woman less than a seven is a [type of house pet]. You’re allowed to take them to the vet. I heard that once. Again, I’m [word that’s not “sorry”] about my [dick].

I honestly don’t remember the allegations about my [dick]. I have a pretty bad memory. I don’t even remember what happened in [episode of acclaimed AMC or Amazon drama]. I used to have to read Wikipedia between episodes of [Halt and Catch Fire or Bosch] to remember what happened the week before. How could I forget [extremely detailed recap of season 2 episode 5 of Halt and Catch Fire “Extract and Defend,” which is the one where Cameron and Joe cross paths, sending Cameron into a tailspin and Gordon searches for connection as he absorbs difficult news]! So of course I wouldn’t remember corning a woman in the bathroom at our [place of work] and going to [verb] her [noun] and then taking out my [noun] and making her [verb] it while blocking the [door or window] so she couldn’t [verb] even if she wanted to. That just wouldn’t really make an impression.

Look, I’m not afraid to admit it. I am a cute little pervert, and so is my [dick]. I am sick, just like [friend or co-worker who is an actor on a streaming show or a member of the United States senate that you want to throw under the bus to take the heat off your apology] who is also definitely a predator, I have proof. I have harassed all kinds of women. [Nationality] women. [Other “nationality” which borders on racial slur] women. I made both [famous tennis playing sisters] watch me [way of cleansing one’s body with water while standing up]. I’ve always thought [female fast food mascot] was very attractive and I once ordered a venti [favorite flavor of Frappuccino] and put my [dick] in the cup so it would look like the Starbucks mermaid was sucking my [dick]. Look. How many times do I have to say it? I’m [not quite “sorry”].

In my defense, honestly, you can’t say these women weren’t a part of the problem. Of course they were asking for it, why else would they be named [female name that ends in “i”] or [literally any other female name]? They would walk all around you at parties wearing [type of clothes] clothes. Can you believe it? [Type of clothes] clothes! You could clearly see their [non-sexual body parts]. Come on. How was I supposed to resist? If a woman really didn’t want the attention, why would she be wearing her [body part]? She[any amount of the letter “e”]esh!

This story has encouraged me to address other aspects of my life. I will go to rehab for being an a[dick]t. What I’ve learned from this ordeal is that I am an extremely influential [profession] who is admired by [number between three million and all] people and could’ve been [a more academic profession] if I had wanted to, everyone in my family thought so, I just didn’t want to go to that many years of grad school. Also, in other news, I now choose to live as a [gay or religious] man. Please give me and my [gay or religious] [dick] our privacy.

Again, I would just to end by [gerund that is not “apologizing”] one more time. Please [Christian noun] for me as I go on this journey of recovery. And hey, cut me some slack: at least I’m not [Woody Allen].

Sincerely,

[Your name] and [your name]’s dick

[nukekyra]

Home Run!! This woman rocks!

[nukekyra]

#wip, detail of the pigeon tamers. #pencilsketch #watercolor #artistsofinstagram #whimsical #арт #акварель

[nukekyra]

Meet the Wrumple Frumple. He lives on a diet of mosquitos, which make him gassy. But being gassy helps him fly. Plus it's always fun to toot on dandelions! #artistsoninstagram #artistsofinstagram #illustration #childrensart #cutemonster #watercolor #watercolorpainting

[nukekyra]

Makes an awesome shirt, don't you think? https://www.redbubble.com/people/blueringoctopod/works/27733016-modern-messenger-pigeon?c=750739-luci-fancypants&p=womens-premium-t-shirt&rel=carousel #pigeon #lucifancypantspigeon #watercolorpainting #watercolor #childrensart #cutebird

[nukekyra]

Wildflowers. Delicate and complicated beauty in miniature. Seen today during our broadleaf and harvest sampling. This is one of the moments when I love my job! I even got to eat the best wild blackberries ever!

[nukekyra]

Today's WIP

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I know he says to put the phone away but I just had to capture this beautiful moment. Die Antwoord brought some SA love to Michigan tonight. Thank you #dieantwoord #dieantwoordlive #dieantwoordfans #afrikaans for sharing the energy and the music! (at 20 Monroe Live)

[nukekyra]

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Two of three to four polishes and wax layers down! Almost done. Excuse the crinkly sound but uncover the inside of the helmet to protect it from chemicals and keep it clean. #customhelmet #customhelmets #poscapens #posca #poscaart #motorcyclehelmet

[nukekyra]

Tonight's project. The third in the series. ☺️ but I got sleepy just looking at it so I'm off to bed. #watercolorpainting #lucifancypantspigeon #cutemouse #childrensbooks #watercolor

[nukekyra]

And this is how a tired kitty naps on her dad.

[nukekyra]

Images of #chicago my other love.

[nukekyra]

First coats of clear gloss and this helmet is popping! Thank you Hubby for your skills with the spray! #poscapens #motorcyclehelmets #motorcyclehelmet #customhelmets #customhelmet

[nukekyra]

Detail from the "almost done" helmet. #customhelmet #customhelmets #motorcyclehelmet #motorcyclehelmets #poscapens

[nukekyra]

This weekend: finishing touches, line detailing, then spray coating and it's done!!! #motorcyclehelmet #motorcyclehelmets #customhelmet #customhelmets #octopus #ooakcustom

[nukekyra]

WIP

[nukekyra]

Taking a break from children's books and dolls to take care of a special order.... interesting to see how transferring one of my illustrations to a helmet will turn out.