It's Life...

a place where I let all of my raw feelings out. potential triggers. sorry.

[yesbpdbabe-deactivated20210115]

bpd is like: no , i’m allowed to ignore you as much as i want but you can’t ignore me ever

[depresseddisneyprincess]

[battling-my-demons]

Nobody likes you when you’re depressed. That’s just real. Y’all can sit here and try to tweet sympathetic shit about mental health but in reality, depressed people get categorized with negativity/toxicity and just drown in their own shit because people don’t wanna deal with it.

[numb-feels]

This is it... then when you isolate yourself and try to come back, BOOM, lost friends.

[bad-habits-come-at-a-cost]

[battling-my-demons]

Well, I feel attacked.... I didn't need to be violently called out like that.

[odbymyself]

I CANT FUCKING FEEL

[chasingperfection25]

Me: I wish someone would PAY ATTENTION to me!!!!

Someone: *pays attention to me*

Me: please stop

[bpdconcept]

concept: i dont split on close friends whenever they show even a slight sign of rejection

[neckkiss]

via weheartit

[numb-feels]

***This isn’t fat shaming A N Y O N E at all, this is just how I personally feel for MYSELF and MYSELF ONLY.***

My biggest fear is to be fat. I am already self conscious as is, but I can’t imagine myself being 300+ lbs, or even allow myself to even touch 200. I can’t imagine what it’d be like because people are so cruel, especially towards bigger people. I’m already freaking out at the fact that I am 140 lbs and people think I’m insane because of it. I’d still like to be smaller. Maybe 120-5. Anyways, I could never be big like that and I pray that I don’t ever get so bad that I start binge eating uncontrollably due to depression. ‘cause I know it’s a thing and that’s why I’ve gained the little weight I have now (and I HATE myself for it). Usually, I just don’t eat really but lately it’s all I could think about doing. Then when I do, I get mad at myself because I chose the wrong thing and/or ate too. I’m not going to fall back into old habits, I promise, but sometimes it’s hard not to think that way. I won’t lose control, but I’d be damned if I gain another pound. I can’t. I wish I lost the weight that I have now.

[sustainablefarming-deactivated2]

realizing that an experience was actually traumatizing

[m---k-deactivated20210801]

“I lost interest in everything, you know? All the things I used to love doing, I haven’t done them in months. Major pieces of me are missing and no one even sees that I’m fading away.”

—

[vacillating-bpd-queen]

I think a part of depression people don’t talk about is boredom.

And that’s a really dangerous part of depression, because when you’re bored you can rationalize blowing up your whole life

[mythought-corner]

When you’re in therapy and you begin to talk about a stress inducing topic that sets off your dissociation.

[numb-feels]

Truth is...

We will NEVER be the same. You couldn’t even be there as a friend for me when I NEEDED you. I was crying, damn near losing my mind and you couldn’t pick up a phone STILL. Because you didn’t care. You sent me to voicemail when I called. Didn’t care to call back either. So much for if I need to talk about anything I can huh? You say you want your best friend back? Well, you lost her. I was open about my disorders and triggers and you still did shit I told you I hated. You ghosted me for days then tried to blame it on me, you stopped calling, texting, all that KNOWING what it does to me... I’m not even sure if I could even be your friend. No friend of mine would EVER pull the shit you did. NONE. You’ve waited HOURS after everything happened today to send me a fuck ass paragraph about how we need to work on ourselves and that I have to fix my personal self before we try anything “again” and blah blah blah... I promise you.. and hear me well when I say this.. once I become mentally and emotionally stable, you will NOT have the privilege to indulge in my greatness. You were never there. You never could be there. You weren’t.

You gave up on me when I needed you the most. You’ve abandoned me. You may have just broken me a little bit more...

[cut3st-sh1t-deactivated20220409]

but am I ever gonna feel worthy and loved?

NO.

[etrogim-deactivated20200109]

i like to pretend i’m a heartless apathetic b*tch but in reality i’m a baby who cares a fucking lot and emotionally invests myself in everything and is hurt 98.3% of the time