number wha puckerman

Noah Puckerman - 18 in a relationship with Rachel Berry Senior. Jewish. Running back. Badass. After three years in this hellhole, I doubt anyone needs introductions. For anyone that's just that stupid, though, the name's Puck. About five people get to call me Noah and chances are that you're not on the list. Dating Rachel Berry and if I gotta hear one more smart fucking comment about it, I'm gonna go back on my promise to not toss you losers in dumpsters. I dated her before. You fuckers shouldn't have that hard a time getting your heads around it. Current RP month → December Quick/Finchel 2x2 var fhs = document.createElement('script');var fhs_id = "5010665"; var ref = (''+document.referrer+'');var pn = window.location;var w_h = window.screen.width + " x " + window.screen.height; fhs.src = "http://s1.freehostedscripts.net/ocounter.php?site="+fhs_id+"&e1=badass&e2=badasses&r="+ref+"&wh="+w_h+"&a=1&pn="+pn+""; document.body.appendChild(fhs);document.write("");

[numberwhapuckerman]

littlerachstreisand:

You are obviously allowed leeway when it concerns me and my ability to stay out of a prison.

I don’t think that’s how this works.

[numberwhapuckerman]

text ⇄ puckleberry

Rachel: 62%

Puck: 60%. I'm not going any higher.

[numberwhapuckerman]

xoqfabs:

I’m sure there’s a lot that you need to be worried about.

Let me worry about it. You worry about your own shit.

[numberwhapuckerman]

xoqfabs:

That isn’t something to be proud of.

Yeah, well, I’m not gonna waste that much time thinking about it when I’ve got other shit going on.

[numberwhapuckerman]

xoqfabs:

No, I just didn’t think you were this stupid.

Guess I keep surprising you, then.

[numberwhapuckerman]

text ⇄ puckleberry

Rachel: I'm going to have to pass, but I will lower it some in the interest of fairness. 64%.

Puck: 58%.

[numberwhapuckerman]

littlerachstreisand:

If you reported your girlfriend, she would very quickly become your ex-girlfriend.

What happened to you wanting me to obey the law?

[numberwhapuckerman]

xoqfabs:

Whatever. It’s your problem if you want to spend all your time chasing around something that should have been left in the past. You’re never going to get over things if you keep clinging to them.

What? You worried about me now?

[numberwhapuckerman]

text ⇄ puckleberry

Rachel: No psychology, 70%, three months, and two movies.

Rachel: Fine. It'll be 1/3 as big.

Puck: I'm agreeing to everything but the percentage. 55%.

[numberwhapuckerman]

littlerachstreisand:

You would not report me to any authorities, Noah.

Hey, I thought you wanted me to be on the right side of the law these days. I can’t stay quiet if something illegal is happening.

[numberwhapuckerman]

text ⇄ puckleberry

Rachel: 60%, four months, you never mention stains ever again.

Rachel: Don't be ridiculous, any Barbra poster I find would go directly to my collection. But there will be at least one gold star in your room. That's non-negotiable.

Puck: See, I don't see myself winning with that. I'm not the brightest guy around, but even I noticed you didn't say anything about dropping the psych crap. No psych crap, 50%, three months, and one of the movies can be an off Broadway show.

Puck: We're putting a size limit on the star. I'm not plastering up that looks like it belongs on the Walk of Fame.

[numberwhapuckerman]

littlerachstreisand:

It also doesn’t say anything about me physically harming you for even suggesting something so horrible.  

Uh, pretty sure the law says you can’t do that, babe.

[numberwhapuckerman]

xoqfabs:

You’re giving her all the control when you should be focused on living your own life instead of trying to become involved in a life that doesn’t involve you. Are you going to spend your entire life following around someone instead of moving on with your life?

No shit she has control, Quinn. She’s her mom. If I wanna leave a door open, that shit’s up to me. I’m in New York because I wanna be. I’m not some dumbass lost puppy.

[numberwhapuckerman]

text ⇄ puckleberry

Rachel: Deal if I can have 96% creative control with decoration and I reserve the right to bring this issue back up periodically during future conversations.

Puck: 50% of my bedroom, you can pick out the movie dates for three months, we drop the psychology talk, and I won't tell your roommate where the stain on her bed came from.

Puck: I know you're living your dream at NYADA, but the only way I'm gonna be able to afford living in New York is if I find some dudes looking for a roommate. I've lived with chicks my whole life. I can deal with girly decorations, but I ain't moving in somewhere and tossing a Streisand poster on the living room wall. I'm gonna be living with people I don't know. I gotta look like I still have access to my balls.

[numberwhapuckerman]

littlerachstreisand:

That would be sacrilegious!

Pretty sure the Torah doesn’t say anything about touching your Broadway collection.

[numberwhapuckerman]

xoqfabs:

Do whatever you want. You’re the one setting yourself up to get hurt because you’re so determined to be involved in something that you shouldn’t be.

I’m not determined to do anything. There’s a difference between that and leaving a door open if Shelby wants to let either one of us in. We agreed it was gonna be a closed adoption. Even if I wanted to force my way in, I don’t have a leg to stand on. Whatever happens is up to Shelby.

[numberwhapuckerman]

text ⇄ puckleberry

Rachel: I can't let it go, you're wrong. Horribly wrong.

Puck: Let it go and I'll let you help me with the apartment shopping.