‘ i know you’re not a child , ‘ he can’t help the bitter edge to his grumble , ‘ but that doesn’t change the fact my life isn’t something that anyone should have to witness , much less survive —– especially as children . not to mention , the more anyone tells a story , the more it comes true . ‘ in a perfect world greed , suffering and other unimaginable symptoms of malice did not exist . ‘ if it’s doomed to be like this forever … then i’d rather do away with everything . ‘
he settles into his dark as such . the gumdrop in her palm is meanwhile met with a blank stare . so are her words , trying to discern his heart . ‘ … i don’t like sweets , ‘ is all that he matter-of-factly states in return , but he takes the gumdrop and puts it into his mouth anyways , chewing it up while the taste of it overwhelmed him , using his mouth’s busying as an excuse to think and keep himself from saying anything more .
‘ all that , are you trying to say that this place is home for you , too ? ‘ he finally speaks . ‘ you’ve lost things as well , to selfish humans . i’m sure of it . and you’re just fine with it ? did you give too much , or did you just not have enough to give ? even if humans gave us everything in the first place , what is there to be thankful for ? losing everything ? having everything taken away , little by little ? getting chewed up ? getting tricked and eaten ? drowning and getting poisoned ?! ‘
weak . the word echoes unpleasantly in his mind as he watches her cast her magic spell , hiding any proof of his own handiwork while he tersely spits and tries not to let his voice raise . he allows her preserving , because it relieves him of himself . they won’t even know it was you . how wonderful , how terrible .
‘ i’m not in the mood to play . ‘ he shakes his head . he’s not so much a child either , that his mind could be so easily distracted by jejune invitation : adults were terrible for this hopeless reason as well , clinging to things like ideas of reality and the gravestones of regret that a naive , bright-eyed youth would not have . ‘ if someday that secret makes you sad , then don’t blame me . you can’t . ‘
how curious. her head tilts. if he exists, those things are already present. his story exists, for him to as well. so no matter how much he wishes himself into infamy, or perhaps pictures himself to be- his story is still alive in a way, isn’t it? what a sad way to exist, wishing you hadn’t at all.
oh. how sad. she knew such people existed, of course, but sweets were so fun. so colorful, shaped for children- meant to spark joy.
“hmm.. well, yes, i suppose, i have lost plenty to the selfishness of humans. i’ve seen how dark, and twisted, and cruel they can be-” indeed, her little charge, alice, had been the very reason nursery rhyme was the way they were now. this body, this voice, even the very desire she had to supposedly ‘have’ or ‘make’ fun were all for her sake.
the little girl who’s parents hadn’t done enough, who had been killed off by another master.
“but being bitter, resenting the world for taking.. isn’t that foolish? this world is meant to give and take. so if i am to have a chance to exist, why not give the world another chance?” she’ll never have alice again, but their new and dear master still is beside her, are they not?
she looks at him matter-of-factly, nodding. “i won’t. i won’t be sad, and i won’t blame you either. i’ll be thankful, even if you dislike me now.”
she takes two steps foward, hands shifting to behind her back. “then what is it you do all day, since you care not to play?” are you going to be moping? she has half a mind to pull him into wonderland for the afternoon.