True Lee

Take it easy...

[thekingdombytheseawithnoshore]

I know my Saezuru posts probably come across as silly or just entertainment. And I probably look like a complete clown to some people. It's ok, no problem. But I'd like to share what this story actually means to me.

It all started years ago during a summer vacation from work. I decided to spend that time by myself, doing the few things that were still capable of bringing me joy: watching anime and reading manga. Like many of you, I found the anime first. And after that ending… of course I immediately went looking for the manga so I could continue the story.

I devoured it day and night. I kept rereading the scenes that touched me the most, over and over again. And as you all know, this manga has plenty of those moments. When I reached the latest chapter, I simply started over. Then I reread it again. And again. To give you an idea of how bad it got, I reread it so often that I would barely even notice when a new chapter had been released.

Why did this happen? Why this story? Because the author genuinely cares about it. Because Yoneda Kou treats this story as her story, not as something built around fan expectations. That's why every little detail matters. The narrative is crafted so carefully that whenever you think, "But why is it like this?" sooner or later the answer comes, and your reaction becomes, "Oh… that's why." I accept everything the author chooses to give us because I'm here to follow these characters' lives, not to control them. I trust Yoneda Kou so much that I let her take me by the hand and lead me through this story.

I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but I understand Yashiro and Doumeki: their feelings, their choices, their flaws. I don't need them to be perfect or to behave the way I want them to. I'm a reader. I'm here to witness their story, not decide it.

Have there been moments I hated? Yes. There's one chapter that I hate with every fiber of my being. But that hatred isn't directed at the writing, it's directed entirely at the emotions it forces me to feel. Well… and at one particular character. You all know exactly who I'm talking about. Maybe one day I'll make a whole post about that chapter.

But even that chapter made me feel something. Exactly what a story is supposed to make its reader feel. And if a work makes you want to savor every tiny detail… isn't that the mark of a masterpiece?

Going back to the beginning of this little ramble, I can keep digging deeper and deeper into this story, and every time I discover something new. That's what keeps me waiting so eagerly for every new chapter. It's the only manga I keep up with as it's being released. Not because other manga aren't worth it, but because I'm the kind of dummy who easily forgets what happened in previous chapters. That never happens with Saezuru.

Because every single detail matters, and every one of them gets filed away somewhere in my brain under "the story that keeps my serotonin alive."

[jilyreadz]

I don't see a clown but I do see a very much devoted fan 🥰

[chuele]

[Saezuru Breakdown] (5) The evolution of chapter covers

Looking at the chapter covers side by side is honestly so interesting. Sometimes there’s this perfect symmetry where Sensei draws both Yashiro and Doumeki in the exact same setting.

When they do share a frame, you can really see their intimacy ramping up over the years. Yashiro’s "walls" are clearly coming down with every new art.

In the latest cover, for the first time ever, they’ve ditched the endless suits for casual clothes. It feels like the story has finally hit that turning point.

Without the Yakuza "armor," they’re just two people, standing face-to-face, completely vulnerable to love.

[chuele]

[Saezuru Breakdown] #4: The Tipping Point (Spoiler chap63 and speculation about chap64)

Frankly, after Chapter 62, I was feeling quite anxious about their future. Yashiro’s cold refusal to answer Doumeki’s question: "Why don't you ask me why I took the bullet for you?" combined with the moment Doumeki blocked the door, almost pleading to be kept close even if he was kicked out of the gang, made me fear they would fall into a prolonged period of retreat and coldness. I thought Yashiro would continue to evade, and Doumeki would accept the heartache and back off.

But Chapter 63 denied us that slow burn. It didn't just maintain the tension; it drove everything to a climax—becoming the definitive Tipping Point that completely shattered Yashiro’s defense mechanism, forcing him to confront the undeniable reality of their relationship.

Here is a comprehensive analysis of what collapsed and what awaits them in Chapter 64.

💥 I. Chapter 63: The Decisive Blow That Broke the Barrier

The climax in Doumeki's apartment, facilitated by Mama's "staging," completely invalidated every single excuse Yashiro used to maintain distance.

1. The Collapse of the "Duty" Pretext (Chapter 62 & 63)

Yashiro's Evasion (Ch. 62): Previously, Yashiro tried to maintain his emotional barrier by framing Doumeki's act of taking the bullet as mere "Yakuza Obedience," refusing to face the emotional truth behind it.

The Display of Instinct (Ch. 63): As Yashiro prepared to leave, Doumeki, weak and feverish, desperately grabbed his arm and pleaded: "Please... wait... don't... go..." This act was purely non-duty and instinctive, proving Doumeki's feelings were stronger than any rule or code of honor. Yashiro's "obedient bodyguard" rationale utterly collapsed.

2. The Transparent Vulnerability

The Wound Exposed: Doumeki subtly confirmed Yashiro's blind right eye through Kageyama's vague comments. Furthermore, he was secretly holding the contact lens case (a symbol of Yashiro's past weakness and unrequited love for Kageyama), and Yashiro saw the case in Doumeki's home.

The Implication: This reveals that Doumeki loves not just the current Yashiro, but understands and accepts all the trauma, secrets, and past burdens Yashiro tried to bury. This feeling of being seen and accepted so transparently is something Yashiro has never experienced, leaving him feeling simultaneously exposed and profoundly comforted—an alarming internal conflict.

3. Overcoming the Fear of Rejection

Doumeki put himself in the most vulnerable position (feverish, wounded, facing expulsion from the gang) just to utter that final plea. This act of defiance against potential rejection and pain is the final threshold that forces Yashiro to admit: pushing Doumeki away now will cause more damage than any Yakuza threat. Doumeki truly has nothing left to lose but Yashiro.

🔮 II. Chapter 64 Forecast

What can we expect based on the data from Chapter 63?

1. What will Yashiro do while Doumeki sleeps, and will he stay until he wakes?

Actions While Doumeki Sleeps: Yashiro will likely assume the role of caretaker. He will gently help Doumeki onto the bed, remove clothing, and place a cold compress on his forehead to reduce the fever. This is an act of care that Yashiro's logic cannot prevent. Once Doumeki is asleep, Yashiro will sit a short distance away and observe him.

The Decision to Stay: Yashiro will stay. He cannot leave when Doumeki is feverish post-injury and has just expressed such despair. This confirms that Doumeki has become an irrevocable emotional burden for him.

2. Will they have a frank conversation about their feelings?

The Likelihood of Dialogue: Yes, a frank conversation will occur, but it won't be a romantic declaration of love. Doumeki will initiate it (perhaps an apology for clinging on, or repeating the line he couldn't finish in Chapter 62).

Doumeki's Role: Doumeki will firmly affirm his feelings and need for Yashiro, overcoming both physical pain and Yakuza threat. He will no longer hide.

Yashiro's Reaction: Yashiro will not reciprocate with declarations of love. Instead, he will question Doumeki's motives and remind him of the danger (Misumi, Tsunakawa). However, he will tacitly accept the bond. This acceptance will be shown through his actions, his gaze, and the fact that he is no longer using force to push Doumeki away.

The Secrets (Lens Case, Blind Eye): The hidden details will be mentioned indirectly. Doumeki will silently convey that he understands the pain, and his current love for Yashiro is real, despite the past.

3. How will they stay together when Misumi wants to bind Yashiro to the Yakuza and Doumeki is at risk of being expelled?

This is the necessary shift from emotion to political strategy that Yashiro must calculate:

Doumeki and Tsunakawa: Doumeki taking the bullet "ruined Tsunakawa's pride" and puts him at risk of punishment/expulsion. Yashiro will use his rising influence (thanks to Misumi) and his merit from capturing Kai (which Nanahara just reported) to protect Doumeki.

Yashiro and Misumi: Misumi wants to bind Yashiro to use him as a "pet" or "right-hand man" to increase his own power. Yashiro will accept Misumi’s tasks but will perform them in his own way to increase his personal power. He will use this influence as a "political shield" to protect Doumeki.

Doumeki laid his life and his heart at Yashiro’s feet, receiving acceptance despite all odds. Yashiro, the bird once bound by fear, is now forced to expand his wings of power—not for self-liberation, but to shield Doumeki also.

P.s: Just my personal speculation! Enjoy reading this while we wait for Chapter 64 to drop. I'm so excited for January! Come quickly, 2026!

[chuele]

Too much for today, my heart💔🤯

[danmeibrainrot]

⚠️Saezuru chapter 62 spoilers⚠️

• Kageyama tells Doumeki that Kuga regretted him becoming a yakuza.

• Kageyama asks: “If you were going to be yakuza anyway, why not follow Yashiro? Didn’t you protect him?”

• Doumeki: “…I was abandoned.” (nooo 😭)

• Kageyama: “Maybe he did that for your sake.”

• Doumeki: “Do you really think so? If that’s the case, then why not do the same for Nanahara-san?”

• Kageyama: “You—” (interrupted)

•Kamiya interrupts with a casual “sorry to intrude” (Damn it Kamiya💀)

• Kageyama scolds Kamiya not to overwork Doumeki.

• Kamiya smirks and says, “He chose the wrong person to protect. If I don’t work him hard, he’ll just feel guilty, right Doumeki?”

• When leaving, Kageyama starts to say: “Doumeki, about his right eye—” but then brushes it off with “Forget it. Just take your meds.” Doumeki looks at him suspiciously. (Nooo we were SO CLOSE FFS)

Yakuza stuff-

• Subordinate wants Kai expelled.

• Okuyama refuses.

• Subordinate doubts Kai is acting alone and asks why he’s going that far for him.

• Okuyama’s past with Kai is hinted he’s known him since childhood.

• Another subordinate enters, interrupting

Back to Doumeki

• Kageyama comments that Ren is rough to make an injured man work.

• Flashback: Ren told Doumeki, “When Oyaji comes back, your punishment will be decided. Until then, Kamiya will watch you. You’ll be working too.”

• Back in the car: Kamiya says, “How do you feel? You were trusted by the boss, and now your credibility’s ruined. Could even be grounds for expulsion, you know!”

• Doumeki reacts calmly, but feels like he’s forcing it.

• Doumeki suddenly asks Kamiya what his goals are.

• Kamiya: “I don’t really have any ‘goal.’ I just wanna do something big someday.”

Okuyama & Kai (in a building)

• Okuyama confronts Kai

•Okuyama suggests Kai envied Tsunakawa because they were both yakuza heirs but had different outcomes.

• Kai snaps → reaction shows Okuyama hit the mark.

• Okuyama: “If you’re yakuza, use your head.”

• Kai complains: “I was forced into the young-head role, branded a traitor, kicked out, finally got my own group—and now I’m supposed to die for it? How is that fair?”

• Okuyama dismisses him: “Such childish talk. If you can’t take responsibility, back out now. Otherwise, you’re expelled.” Leaves the room.

• Implied Okuyama’s harshness is also a form of mercy.

• Outside the building, Kamiya asks Doumeki what they should do, since Kai must still be inside.

• Doumeki is shown leaning his head against the car window, eyes closed, looking pained.

-------------------------------

No Yashiro this chapter 😭 Damn Kamiya for interrupting themm 😭😭

This chapter feels like everything is shifting into place for the climax, the gears are in place. I just hope Doumeki has put it together about Yashiro's eye, he already suspects it, Kageyama's words are just confirmation. Also my heart broke when I understood that Doumeki is telling himself Yashiro’s care for him=Yashiro’s care for Nanahara=general care, that Yashiro sees and saw him as just a subordinate/former subordinate. But beneath that, the fact that he brings it up shows he does recognize there’s a difference between how both are treated by Yashiro, and I hope it gnaws at him till he puts it all together.

For the next chapter in November I’m terrified of what Doumeki’s punishment might be and even more of the possibility that, if it’s severe, Yashiro might just turn the blade inward, sacrificing himself in some desperate attempt to shield Doumeki. The idea that Yashiro might hurt himself just to preserve him is going to haunt me till chapter 63. But that might also be the final catalyst for Doumeki to finally come to terms with and have the courage to believe his place in Yashiro's heart.

[bcgit]

KUGA!

This is the only person who doesn't tiptoe around Yashiro's feelings. If not him who will shake some sense into Yashiro. Pointing out Yashiro's love for Doumeki to Kageyama he could see how Yashiro treated him, softer than his other subordinates. I am hoping he will come to the clinic before Doumeki and Yashiro leave. I think he will give Yashiro shit for letting this happen and pointing out their mutual feelings for each other. Yashiro's totally vulnerable right now and Doumeki is in no shape to be moved. He knows what Doumeki was about to ask for. This standoff of feelings can't go on forever. Hope we see significant progress next chapter.

[winterwing-butterfly]

It's Kuga's day today, y'all.

After Yashiro, Kuga is my favourite character in Saezuru. He is definitely my favourite in Don't Stay Gold. I share a similar background with both characters, but faced life fiercely as Kuga did. He's a very inspiring character to represent nonconforming in a world that tries to dictate our future based on where we come from, what happens to us, etc.

I saw someone mentioning on Twitter that if Yashiro remains avoidant to Doumeki after what happened in chapter 60, Kuga would be the perfect candidate to scold him. I didn't even consider that, but it would be brilliant!

If Yashiro still thinks about himself as shadow, Kuga can help him see that he can also be light.

[chuele]

Saezuru Breakdown (3) Four years

During those four years, what thoughts passed through Doumeki’s mind about becoming a Yakuza, about the moment he would see Yashiro again, about how he would protect Yashiro? What about Yashiro — how did he live through those years?

Doumeki went straight to Misumi and asked to remain in the underworld. Naturally, Misumi turned him down flat. That’s the way Doumeki operates — direct and without strategy. His only goal at the time was to stay connected to the Yakuza world — the only thread that still tied him to Yashiro. Through Amou, Doumeki came under the Sakura group. The only way to survive was through absolute loyalty and total dedication to whatever task was assigned to him.

Doumeki accidentally won the favor of the boss’s daughter. According to the bar girls’ gossip, he also became popular with women — due to his reserved demeanor, minimal speech, and detached appearance. His lack of desire gave him an air of authority, and his selfless work ethic earned him trust within the group.

When Tsunakawa asked whether Doumeki was seeing anyone, Doumeki replied that he wasn’t — that he took care of himself. This detail alone suggests that the rumored relationship with the mama of the bar wasn’t one of real intimacy or sexual involvement.

Doumeki bought sweet pastries for Kamiya as breakfast — a subconscious habit from the past, since he used to bring sweets for Yashiro, who had a notorious sweet tooth.

He also kept searching for traces of Yashiro, interrogating those who did business with him. And even though he had a vague idea that Yashiro might be connected to the case he was currently pursuing, seeing him again still left Doumeki completely unprepared.

There was no way Doumeki could’ve predicted the situation in which they would reunite — but he knew, without a doubt, what the first thing he would say was going to be. “So you remember me now?” — that line wasn’t something he came up with on the spot.

There’s less information about Yashiro during those four years.

Yashiro kept dreaming the same dream over and over again, always in the same way — a face he couldn’t clearly see, someone his unconscious mind was trying hard to bury.

He disbanded his gang, changed locations constantly, and ended up running a small underground casino — a way of unofficially withdrawing from the criminal underworld. According to Nanahara, Yashiro had nearly been kidnapped a few times, and robbed — since he couldn’t call the police. He lost sight in one eye, and his right hand was damaged after an accident, making it impossible to drive. He became impotent and had sexual relations with Inami only in exchange for information.

Nanahara once asked if Yashiro wanted his own gang again. Yashiro left the question unanswered. Nanahara also commented that Doumeki wasn’t fit to be a Yakuza. Yashiro replied with another question: “What kind of person is fit to be a Yakuza, anyway?”

Over those four years, from dissolving his gang to moving around and eventually becoming the owner of a small casino, to rejecting Misumi’s invitation to return — Yashiro had been cutting ties to his past, a temporary escape from the underworld. Like his bare back, free of tattoos — a weak and silent way of proving that he was no longer part of the filth surrounding him.

And maybe, deep in his heart, there flickered the tiniest hope — that if, one day, he ever met Doumeki again, and Doumeki had become a decent citizen, then at the very least, Yashiro would appear a little less tainted — not still a Yakuza.

But the reality of their reunion… Yashiro could never have imagined it.

[chuele]

[Saezuru Breakdown] (2) Some intriguing notes after reading Chapter 60

Only 6 pages of sex, not as many as usual, but the way Yashiro and Doumeki respond says so much more than words.

The door to the room is open, just like in previous encounters — symbolizing how each time they meet, things escalate from the doorway to the bed in a rush of need.

Yashiro covers his face with his hand again — a habit to hide the emotions that show on his face . His two verbal protests for Doumeki to stop (to answer the phone) are also avoidance tactics to deflect from revealing true feelings.

Doumeki's reactions mirror Yashiro’s actions, step by step:

Yashiro covers his face → Doumeki pins his hand above his head

Yashiro reaches for the phone → Doumeki silences him with a forceful kiss

Yashiro tries again → Doumeki thrusts harder and kisses him again until Yashiro climaxes → A tactical finish that crushes Yashiro’s attempt to deflect.

Yashiro always smokes after sex, and interestingly, his voice always turns hoarse afterwards (which explains why Nanahara asks over the phone if he caught a cold).

“That’s how the Yakuza works” — among their conversations, there’s always a line where Yashiro slips out something that betrays his real thoughts.

Cliffhanger: Doumeki shielding Yashiro from a bullet. The interesting part? Every time Doumeki gets shot, Yashiro always reacts — through action.

Chap 20

Chap 33

So we wait and see how Yashiro responds in chap 61

Ever since discovering Doumeki’s impotence was cured, Yashiro has stopped initiating intimacy. But now, with Doumeki wounded, the only one who can take initiative is Yashiro. It’s been so long — and the thought of Yashiro being the one to initiate again is... deeply intriguing.

[chuele]

Hi, first of all, I want to say that I really enjoy reading your insights!

And I'm really curious about what you think of Yashiro's hands (or more specifically, the gesture of hiding his face in his hands). I'm especially referring to the bathroom scene in chapter 3, when he tells Doumeki, "with you, it would just be gentle, ordinary sex, so no." I know there are more symbolic moments, and I can usually interpret those, but in this case, I don’t quite understand why he hides/washes his face. Thank you :)

Thank you so much for your thoughtful, specific question and kind feedback on the posts — I truly appreciate it, and your curiosity means a lot to me!

The moment when Yashiro hides his face in his hands during the bathroom scene in chapter 3 isn’t just a physical gesture — it’s part of a larger emotional pattern: Yashiro consistently avoids direct eye contact and often covers his face as a deep psychological defense mechanism.

Rather than focusing solely on his hands, we could believe the heart of this gesture lies in the act of hiding his face — because the face is where too much vulnerability lives. It’s where emotion threatens to surface, where someone like Doumeki might actually see him. The hands become a temporary curtain — a shield to prevent being read, to avoid exposing the parts of himself that even Yashiro isn’t ready to confront.

When Yashiro says “no” while covering his face, it’s not a simple rejection of sex — it’s a contradiction between body and words. His mouth says no, but his physical act of hiding shows he’s overwhelmed. In that moment, what he truly fears isn’t the act of sex itself, but Doumeki’s tenderness — a gaze so gentle it could unravel everything.

And because he can’t run or turn away, he hides behind the only barrier he has: his own hands.

Besides the scene mentioned in chapter 3, there are two other moments directly tied to Yashiro’s avoidance of direct eye contact — and when these three are viewed together, they reveal one of the most consistent and revealing emotional patterns in Yashiro’s inner world.

Scene 1 – Chapter 3: Covering his face when refusing sex

“Look like you're gentle in bed, so no thanks” (Covers his face)

Here, Yashiro isn’t just rejecting sex — he’s rejecting gentleness. He covers his face not out of embarrassment, but to conceal the emotions that are threatening to surface too clearly in his eyes: hesitation, a craving for intimacy, and above all, the fear of confronting his own genuine feelings.

Covering his face is a reflex — a shield against being seen. Doumeki’s gaze is too sincere, too kind, too capable of breaking down the emotional armor Yashiro so meticulously maintains.

Scene 2 – Chapter 25: The first time they sleep together

“I don’t want to do it from the front. It’s better from behind.”

This seemingly casual remark reveals Yashiro’s need for control. Doing it from behind — without eye contact — allows him to remain emotionally hidden, in control, and unreadable. To Yashiro, a direct gaze becomes a dangerous connection — something that could expose his most fragile places.

Here, avoiding the gaze = avoiding emotional intimacy. Eye contact would mean letting someone in — something Yashiro cannot allow without risking collapse.

Scene 3 – Chapter 57: After four years, the second time they sleep together (in gentle way)

Doumeki: “What about your expression?” Yashiro: “I'm not making any kind of face”

This is the emotional peak of the same behavior. Even after everything they’ve gone through — separation, longing, slow-burning love — Yashiro still cannot allow himself to be seen, not entirely.

“Don’t look” isn’t just about modesty or pride. It’s a near-desperate plea:

“Don’t see me vulnerable. Don’t see how much I love you. Don’t see me surrendering.”

For Yashiro, a direct gaze can replace words — and that’s precisely what makes it so dangerous. He doesn’t trust that he can hold himself together under that kind of exposure.

Linking the three scenes: the gaze as the last forbidden zone

These three moments form a defensive trajectory:

Covering his face (to hide newly forming emotions)

Avoiding eye contact (to stay in control, emotionally hidden)

Refusing to be looked at (because love has become too overwhelming to bear)

They all point to one core truth: For Yashiro, being looked at is where love truly happens — and where the pain will strike first.

I hope this brings you a little insight or peace. Thank you for your thoughtful question — it means more than you know.,.

[chuele]

Saezuru: Why You Need to Read it Twice (7) The Police Uniform Cosplay

Why did Yashiro make Doumeki cosplay in a police uniform? Could it be that Yashiro was thinking that if Doumeki wore his police uniform again, it might rekindle his desire to return to the force?

I have thought about this question many times, and today I want to explore it from a different perspective. I found that exploring it with the help of AI provided valuable insights, leading me to a deeper level of understanding. Let's unpack these insights step by step.

1. The Surface Context:

Yashiro, teasingly and with a slightly aggressive tone, has Doumeki dress up as a police officer during a sexual interaction. Doumeki, formerly a police officer, was dismissed due to a past incident and his erectile dysfunction. Yashiro knows this well.

2. Underlying Interpretations:

A. Manipulative Suggestion – "Go back to your old life"

“If you wear the uniform, maybe you’ll feel like going back to being a cop again?”

On the surface, it sounds like a taunt or flirtation.

But deeper down, Yashiro might be:

Testing Doumeki’s loyalty, almost daring him to recall a cleaner life and leave Yashiro behind.

Subliminally preparing for rejection — a form of self-sabotage: “Let me destroy this before it can hurt me.”

So while it’s wrapped in playfulness, it’s actually laced with Yashiro’s deep fear of being abandoned.

B. Reclaiming Control – Over Doumeki’s “Goodness”

Yashiro often views himself as “filthy” and unworthy of love.

Doumeki represents someone "pure" — former cop, loyal, kind.

By making him wear the uniform:

Yashiro is trying to reassert the division between them.

Or perhaps, he wants to see if Doumeki will stay even when reminded of the life he left behind.

It’s a cruel experiment: “If he remembers who he was, will he still want to be with someone like me?”

C. Police = Symbol of Order, Law, and Cleanliness

In the yakuza world, the police uniform symbolizes everything opposite: order, morality, justice.

Yashiro turning it into a sexual prop is:

A form of rebellion and desecration

A way to collapse boundaries between “clean” and “dirty”

If Doumeki still desires him while in uniform, Yashiro confirms that Doumeki has fully crossed over into his corrupt world.

D. Sex as Emotional Avoidance

Yashiro rarely expresses true feelings. Instead, he uses sex as a defense mechanism — to control, deflect, and bury vulnerability.

Rather than saying “I’m afraid you’ll leave” he says: “Try wearing the uniform again — maybe you’ll get it up.”

It's the language of defense — turning pain into playfulness, into sex.

Yashiro doesn't know (or dares not) to say love, so he turns everything into a dangerous game.

This is classic emotional evasion. The scene is less about seduction and more about fear, pain, and emotional survival.

3. And How Does Doumeki Respond?

He complies — calmly, without resistance.

But he doesn’t become the cop again. He’s still Doumeki, steady and loyal.

This is a silent vow: “Even if I wear the uniform, I’m not going anywhere.”

Beneath the surface, Doumeki is saying:

“No matter how you test me, I won’t leave you.”

It’s not spoken aloud, but felt — the kind of quiet, unwavering devotion that doesn’t need words.

It’s a deeply reassuring, wordless act that reinforces his commitment to Yashiro, regardless of appearance or status. By quietly accepting the uniform — a symbol of a life he once had — and still choosing to stay, Doumeki offers something stronger than words.

In a world where Yashiro expects abandonment, this unspoken promise becomes the strongest answer of all.

Conclusion: This Scene Isn’t Just “Kink” — It’s a Psychological Minefield

The scene where Doumeki wears a police uniform is far more than a roleplay or a moment of erotic fantasy. Beneath the surface of a desire-tinged game lies a psychological labyrinth — a space where Yashiro tests the boundaries of loyalty, punishes himself, and probes whether the other man would still choose to stay when confronted with the “clean” past he once had.

[chuele]

Saezuru: Why You Need to Read it Twice (6) "I do know relatively well, these things about you"

Take a piss = make a call After that, Yashiro was back. He feigned a collapse, snatched the gun from Doumeki. One brutal crack echoed in the sudden silence as he fired, and that moment was one that Doumeki would never forget.

Every time Yashiro had some intention, he said he wanted to go to the toilet, Doumeki noticed that.

I know you well - Doumeki thought.

Now it means go somewhere and "make a deal".

This deal was broken, by "someone's" notice.,.

[chuele]

Saezuru: Why You Need to Read it Twice (5) The Title Speaks Volumes: Twittering Birds Never Fly 𓅪𓅪

How can I understand the title of this story?

Indeed, the first time I read it, I was impressed by the title. Using the image of a bird to describe Yashiro's existence in the underworld, it's also a poignant metaphor for Yashiro's love.

A bird that sings but cannot fly - the contrast between singing and flying: being a bird but unable to soar, being in love but unable to speak up, having to run away and hide behind reckless actions.

As Yashiro thought, 'If I accept his feelings, I will have to abandon my true self'. That true self is the shell has shielded him from the wounds of his childhood.

Yashiro had expressed his heartache to Doumeki, but Doumeki at that time, hadn't fully comprehended the extent of his suffering.

What about Doumeki? Doumeki is also the embodiment of a bird - able to sing and fly.

The image of the bird flying high in the sky at the moment in the hospital, when Yashiro lied about losing his memory about Doumeki, silently looking at Doumeki next to his mother and sister, the bird was truly free, as Yashiro 'wished'.

But ironically, what we want is not always what others need. Yashiro's way of expressing love is to choose to give up. As for Doumeki, in order to exist in that person's world, he chose to give up his own freedom.

The title is incredibly clever, highlighting the dichotomy between Yashiro and Doumeki choice. i love so bad about this contrast, how can I love something that also confuses me so much!

And what makes me admire the clever implication of the title is that right after the frame of the bird flapping its wings, implying that Yashiro let Doumeki go free, immediately below the frame is a scene 4 years later, depicting a bird with beautiful tail feathers locked in a cage.

This frame means a lot - the colorful bird is a metaphor for Yashiro, implying that for Doumeki to leave the Yakuza world, the price Yashiro must pay is to continue being imprisoned in the cage called Yakuza - "forever unable to escape".

A detail conveys deep emotions through a simple image cleverly arranged: A caged bird - beautiful but heartbreaking.,.

(to be continued...)

-------------------------//------------------------

Previous parts:

Part 4: (4) Has Doumeki changed?

Part 3: (3) The impact of Yashiro's words on Doumeki

Part 2: (2) Rain and the Echoes of Trauma

Part 1: (1) A single glance from above

[chuele]

[Saezuru Breakdown] (1)Who breaks the rules?

Yashiro has an unbreakable rule - not sleeping with his subordinates. He sarcastically responds to Doumeki that Doumeki was the one who broke it.

But perhaps Yahshiro forgot one thing, that in the past, when they first met, Yashiro was the one who broke his own rules first.

Yashiro was attracted to Doumeki from the moment Yashiro met Doumeki, it wouldn't be wrong to say that this was love at first sight.,.

[chuele]

Saezuru: Why You Need to Read it Twice (4) Has Doumeki changed?

(Expanded edition of Part 3: The impact of Yashiro's words (and acts) on Doumeki)

Has Doumeki changed?

Perhaps, judging solely by Doumeki's responses and his words of Yashiro—cold and rough. But if look closer, we can still see glimpses of gentleness in Doumeki's actions. Doumeki's current actions is a direct reflection of Yashiro's past words.

(1) Scrub the back

4 years ago 4 years later

(2) Cover the head with a towel

4 years ago 4 years later

(3) "Just carry me in" <=> "I'll carry you there"

4 years ago 4 years later

Doumeki still keeps the habit of taking care of Yashiro until now:

(4) "Your suit is hanging there"

4 years ago 4 years later

(5) Cover with blanket

4 years ago 4 years later

Doumeki remembers everything Yashiro said and done, after four years Doumeki's response while changed, but still seems somehow unchanged.,.

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Previous parts:

Part 1: Saezuru: Why You Need to Read it Twice (1) A single glance from above

Part 2: Saezuru: Why You Need to Read it Twice (2) Rain and the Echoes of Trauma

Part 3: Saezuru: Why You Need to Read it Twice (3) The impact of Yashiro's words on Doumeki

[chuele]

Saezuru: Why You Need to Read it Twice (3) The impact of Yashiro's words on Doumeki

Every word Yashiro had said, Doumeki remembered completely. And four years later, Doumeki used those exact words of Yashiro to respond in their conversation.

(1) Gentle in bed

4 years ago: 4 years later:

(2) Pull harder

4 years ago: 4 years later:

(3) There's nothing more to it.

4 years ago: 4 years later:

The things Yashiro had once 'requested', the things Doumeki couldn't do at that time, Doumeki is now returning one by one. The pain of being left behind, accumulated over four years, has shaped Doumeki's current behavior.,.

(to be continued)

[makaksstuff]