Nutty Narrations Of New Humans

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A Lesson On Sneaking Snacks

Watching Parentinghacks on youtube with the kids Youtube: “#parentinghack if your child is hiding, just open up some candy for yourself, as soon as you barely open it they will find you and want it” - THIS IS ACCURATE THATS ALL YOU NEED TO DO ! Mika *insanely wide eyed and excited*: He’s right ! it does work it really works ! I open candy and you find me every time !

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A Lesson On Learning The Alphabet

Toy: Can you find the letter ‘A’ ? Mika: No.

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A Lesson On Sleeping

http://www.smule.com/recording/shut-up-and-dance-walk-the-moon-guitar/777925206_652431159

(((When Your friend was supposed to sing with you -- but failed epically and it all becomes sang by one person... sorry about how terrible I am it was just supposed to be a joke thing.)))

Oh don’t you dare get up no you don’t have to pee She said I want a drink I said shut up and go to sleep These kids will be the death of me I said Wooo Shut up and go to sleep.

We were victims of the night Why does bed time have to be such a fight ? Read your favourite story, left on the hall light. You have to be up for 8 And It is just way too late.

They were asleep I don’t know how it happened I told them get back in bed Oh don’t you dare get up no you don’t have to pee He said I want a drink I said shut up and go to sleep These kids will be the death of me I said Wooo Shut up and go to sleep. A mimi blanket and a doll for meeks The both of them together make quite the team. I felt it in my chest as they look at me  I gently put them down, and I left without a sound

They were asleep I don’t know how it happened I told them get back in bed Oh don’t you dare get up no you don’t have to pee She said I want a drink I said shut up and go to sleep These kids will be the death of me I said Wooo Shut up and go to sleep. Just go to sleep ! They closed their eyes, I think it’s really happening I could sleep too This is my last chance If i sleep now maybe i’ll get three hours I finally laid down in bed. Oh don’t you dare get up no you don’t have to pee She said I want a drink I said shut up and go to sleep Your fathers going to be angry I said oooo shut up and go   Oh don’t you dare get up no you don’t have to pee She said I want a drink I said shut up and go to sleep These kids will be the death of me I said Wooo Shut up and go to sleep.

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A Lesson On Weekends

Ace: "Let's have oatmeal for breakfast with peanuts, and we will be really quiet so mika can sleep.. then we will go outside to catch my bus and I'll go to school THEN you can wake Mika up if you want to"  Me: “You don’t go to school on weekends like Saturday and Sunday, you go back on Monday.” Ace: "Well.. what if I just go to school for a little bit today ?" Me: “The school is closed on weekends” Ace: “ Well.. we can just play outside then I think."

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A Lesson On Boys

Aceton’s little friend told her mom she wanted to wear a dress to look pretty for Aceton.  Me: “Did Jess wear a dress today ?” Ace: “I don’t know. I didn’t look.” Me: “You didn’t notice if she was wearing a dress ?” Ace: “No.”

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A Lesson On What To Eat For Lunch

Me: “What would you like for lunch today ?” Mika: “SOUP ! When I’m sick, I eat soup. When I’m not sick, I eat soup.”

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A Lesson On How We Get Babies

Mika: “Aweee look at that baby, that baby is so cute ! We should buy one.” Me: “We should buy a baby ?” Mika: “Yes, we should buy a little cute baby !”

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A Lesson On Kissing Girls At School

Mac: "Did you high five Jess today ?" Ace: "No.. I did not." Mac: "did you give her a hug ?" Ace: “I did not...” Mac: "did you... give her a kiss ?" Ace: “No....... I did not give her a kiss.....” *Starts smiling really big* "I am not going to give her a kiss next time then !"

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A Lesson On Wizardry

*Ace puts hands covered in paint under water and washes hands* Ace: “It’s gone ! It’s like magic !” 

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A Lesson On Pancakes

*Mika holding two pancakes on her cheeks* Mika: “Are these pancakes for Acey and Daddy ?” Me: “No, and definitely not now, Why are you holding them on your face ?” Mika: “They are so warm I want to cuddle them.”

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A Lesson On How Bugs Enter A Home

*Banging sound outside* Mika: “What’s that ?, Bugs ?” Me: “Bugs ?” Mika: “Yes, Bugs. They are knocking to come in.”

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A Lesson On How To Behave In Court

What better time to have a rolly-chair race, than in a court room ?  According to Aceton and Mika there is no better time. 

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A Lesson On How To Get Things

Mika: “I will buy you pop” Aceton: “You don’t have any money to buy pop” Mika: “Okay, I will go to work, get money and buy you pop” Aceton: “That will take too long, let’s just get mommy to buy us pop”

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A Lesson On How Periods Really Work

Mika: “MOM YOU’RE BLEEDING AND YOU NEED A BANDAID” me being the parent I am: “Nope… Just need a penis instead of a vagina” Mika: “Okay… Hold on… Daddy has a penis, he will share !”