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YOU ARE THE REASON
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
Keni
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

blake kathryn
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

if i look back, i am lost
art blog(derogatory)
Misplaced Lens Cap

Origami Around

JBB: An Artblog!

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Xuebing Du
Sade Olutola
Peter Solarz

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@nycquinn
thehuntison: Celebration || NYE Group Para
Hunter laughed. “The number of times anyone has taken my pills and flushed them is countable on one hand. Even if I probably deserved it many, many more times. Including the night at the museum.” He didn’t bother to mention that no one seemed to care then. “Go figure, one time I actually haven’t taken anything, I’m honest as fuck about shit, and I’m not even allowed to take care of it on my own.” He shook his head again in frustration.
When Quinn mentioned Sebastian smoking and drinking excessively, it made Hunter think back to the night Sebastian had come back from Café Lalo. He sat down on the bed. He wondered if anyone knew how much pain Sebastian had been in that night. But it wasn’t his place to say anything. Even if it was one of the reasons Hunter felt compelled to keep all his wits about him.
Hunter snorted. “I am so far from perfect. I’m hardly even good enough sometimes. Not for my parents, not for Sebastian, not for you.” He shrugged as if that was just a simple statement. “I somehow doubt it will be the last insane and possibly dangerous one, but hopefully the last I have to be at alone. If Jay was here, I would have taken the pills to him directly. And we would have taken care of it.” He nodded his head. “It’ll be good to work on just being friends. He and I aren’t so different in some ways. It’s nice to know someone understands. I’m not sure if Catie will give me much of a choice. And the caroling at Christmas wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever done.”
“I didn’t bring them,” Hunter replied, eyes narrowed again. He felt like it was hypocritical to flush one set of pills and then encourage him to take others. He recognized the difference between the two, but he hadn’t taken the first set. Was he tempted, sure. But he hadn’t taken them, he hadn’t really tried to hide them, and he hadn’t lied about what they were, which now he realized he probably easily could have. “I didn’t want to have them on me, and be tempted. I knew if I needed them, I could always leave, or go to Jay’s and get them. However, considering I plan on drinking with Jay when I get home, I didn’t want to take them.” Hunter shook his head, and laughed lightly. “Oh, I didn’t hook him. He completely hooked me. I don’t think he even intended to. But he sure is beautiful. Inside and out. And smart. Talented. Passionate. Kind. Creative. Witty… and I can’t believe he’s with me.” The more he talked about Jay, the more Hunter relaxed, a genuine small spreading across his lips.
“Is he pissed with me?” Hunter asked. “Because I don’t want to go another ten rounds with Seb. I’d rather just leave. And yes, please make sure Marc isn’t with him, although I know I really don’t get to say anything about who or how Seb spends his time now. “
Quinn looked sympathetic but only said, “Yeah, I bet that’s annoying as hell but none of us are willing to take that risk yet. I’m sorry, but until you earn it, we’re going to do what we have to do to make sure you’re as safe as possible.” She lean towards him to catch his eye. “It sucks, I know. I’m sorry.”
“You’re more than good enough,” Quinn said, looking concerned again. “Your parents are the ones who aren’t good enough,” she continued firmly, before assuming a more loving expression. “You’re more than a good enough friend - you’re the only one who can read and take care of ice queens like Seb and I. And you’re beyond good for Jay to have chosen you. And you’re more than good enough for the Museum, and for Catie.” She touched his cheek with a small smile. “But I’m sorry that Seb and I aren’t making you feel very good at all right now,” she concluded with a sad expression. “Let’s get you to Jay.”
Quinn stood up again. about to ask if there was any in the medicine cabinet, but then decided maybe he didn’t need any at the moment. The way talking about Jay transformed him...it was the sweetest thing Quinn had seen in a long time. “I can’t wait to get to know him better,” she said kindly.
She shook her head. “No, he’s not pissed - just worried. But he’s been drinking a lot, so I think you should just leave. I don’t want him to say anything reckless that ruins your night more.” Then she shrugged. “I think you get to say anything you want about who he spends time with. If anything, I think you can be more free to say what you want, since the repercussions won’t be as local.”
She texted Sebastian with Hunter’s wishes and in two downbeats the door swung open a little violently. Sebastian was quiet, however. He looked urgently at Hunter as he stood in the doorway, then closed the door in Santana’s face and strode over. He looked from Quinn to Hunter. “What did it this time?” he asked.
thehuntison:
Celebration || NYE Group Para
“In the long run, when you watch what he’s been saying since we broke up, you can tell he will be okay. I know he can talk a good game, but he has plans, goals and putting them out there, will make him more accountable to himself,” Hunter admitted. “His actions…have been a little less reassuring, but he’s allowed to shake off the funk that was what we’d become. I think he’s getting it out of his system.” His eyes could have bored through Quinn. “Not even a little bit,” Hunter replied when Quinn asked if he wanted to talk about Marc.
“And I am THAT bad?” Hunter countered. “I didn’t take anything. I survived Christmas and everything that happened without taking anything extra. I came here tonight, to a party I didn’t really understand, unmedicated, because I knew I’d be drinking, even managed to enjoy myself for a bit… yet I feel like I’m being treated like a broken child no one trusts.” He shook his head. “He’s probably smoking. Someone should take those from him tonight so he doesn’t accidently burn the place down after everyone goes home. Or most everyone goes home.”
“It wasn’t your decision to unilaterally make though Quinn.” Hunter folded his arms. “I would never do something like this to you. I’ve been trying so hard lately. I didn’t want to get messed up and ruin Seb’s night. I don’t want to go home to Jay like that. Not when we can finally celebrate a bit of the holiday. I just didn’t want to feel…never mind. It doesn’t matter anymore. As long as Marc doesn’t try to sleep with my boyfriend.” He shook his head. “Not going to happen. Jay won’t let it. I think he’s already conspiring with Nick. Seb won’t let it. We apparently will be having regular dinners and stuff. Probably keep working out a bit. Which is a good thing for both of us. And Catie too probably won’t let it happen, and since she’s with Sam, I might end up at McKinley stuff and not just Dalton stuff…” Hunter mused.
Hunter sighed. “I don’t want to go home to Jay like this; angry, upset, frustrated, jealous, and everything else. Tonight is supposed to be a celebration, if a bit delayed.” He finally uncrossed his arms. “You’re one of my best friends too, but I’m still upset with you. So I need to just walk and clear all that out before I get home to Jay.”
Quinn nodded, glad to hear Hunter talk out his feelings about Sebastian and reassure himself in the process. She was expressionless when Hunter glared at her about Marc. She didn’t know why she thought she’d get anything more than in response to her offer. “Fine,” she said, with cold look back. “Excuse me for asking,” she said in a polite tone.
She listened to him complain about being treated like a child. This was was 100% predictable. She felt badly for him but she wasn’t going to apologize for her actions. “Hunt, if I walk into a room and you have a bottle of pills in your hand, I’m going to flush them. Seb always wants me to flush them, because that’s what he would do. That’s because we know you and your upper body strength will always overpower us. This isn’t our first time at this rodeo.”
She softened and sat down next to him, saying sincerely, “I’m truly sorry that we’re making you feel badly, I do. But we don’t think of you as a broken child. We think of you as an adult who has a dangerous habit. Like I said, we all have dangerous habits, and we would all intervene for each other if we were really concerned. Seb and I have done this routine a number of times, but we’ve decided to not do anything, like 90% of the time. “It’s just what Santana and I would do if I found Sebastian drinking alone and smoking like a chimney, or if she, Tina, Sam and Seb found out I hadn’t been eating enough. You’re not broken, you’re just human. And we love that you’re human. You’re too darned perfect otherwise.” She gave him a small smile. “The good news is, this is the last insane, dangerous party you’ll ever be at alone. I’m sure Jay will do a much better job at intervening than I am. Hell, he’ll probably do everything he can to make sure you won’t ever feel like this again, either.”
Quinn grew more concerned as she listened to him go on about Mark and Sebastian and the rest. She knew he would absolutely intervene if she was in trouble and he could help, but she didn’t respond, forcing herself to just listen. He was talking himself out of his unreasonable statements, but he was just so anxious. She said kindly, “That’s great you and Seb are going to have regular dinners. And I love that you’ll come to our McKinley gatherings.”
She bit her lip, thinking. “Hunt, where are your prescription pills, for your anxiety? Maybe you stop drinking and take a dose of those. I think they’ll make you feel better than the cocktails. Then you might feel better on your walk before you go home to Jay. Oh, by the way, I love that you were able to hook the most good looking, kind, Stanford educated guy in New York City. You deserve him.”
She noticed her phone blowing up with texts from Sebastian. She picked it up and looked up at Hunter. “Seb wants to see you, do you want to see him? Should I make sure Marc’s not out there with him?”
thehuntison:
Celebration || NYE Group Para
“Sebastian— is going to be fine without me. Probably better than fine. I highly doubt anyone is worried that I might be anxious about how he’ll do,” Hunter countered. Hunter couldn’t help the snort and the roll of his eyes when Marc was mentioned. His experience was that when Marc was in town Sebastian drank more, partied harder, and Hunter sometimes worried, was more reckless.
Hunter watched Quinn flush his pills and his eyes narrowed, words, arguments dying in his throat. “I keep hearing the words ‘too much’ with regards everyone else. Yet I don’t see anyone dumping Seb’s drinks or cutting him off,” he grumbled. “When I said I wanted to take care of it tonight, I meant with Jay. I even said as much.” His frustration was showing and he wanted nothing more than to leave. Hunter shook his head. “No, there aren’t. I hadn’t even realized these were still here.”
He didn’t speak when Quinn talked about Santana and her preference for people with Sebastian. Hunter’s frustrations were still high and he was going to end up taking it out on Quinn at this rate. So he didn’t bother to inform Quinn that he’d been told that Santana had wanted Jay and Seb back together. And it wasn’t his place to say anything about Sebastian and Blaine. “I don’t necessarily like him alone, he needs a little counterbalance, but mostly, I just want him to be happy. Really, truly, happy. In that satiated contented way.”
“I am going to walk, ALONE,” Hunter stressed. “I am going to let Jay know I’m coming. I’ll text you when I arrive, but I’ve taken up enough of your night and I need to let go of a couple of things before I get to Jay. Which I can’t do with an audience.” He offered Quinn a smile that he hoped was less tense than it felt. “Find that man of yours and kiss him senseless at midnight.”
Quinn was watching Hunter, taking him in, the anxiety was pouring off of him. It was hard to be patient, she wanted him to be better now but she had to just bear it while he worked his way through it. “Well, I’m glad that’s one thing you aren’t anxious about. I’m not worried about Seb, either. In the long run.” She watched him snort and roll his eyes. “Do you want to talk about Marc being here?” she asked calmly, brows raised.
She knew he was going to be pissed when she flushed the pills. She crossed her arms as she walked out of the bathroom and stood above him. “No one’s dumping Seb’s drinks, YET. He’s not that bad yet, he was sober enough to be chasing around out there looking for you, but he might be drinking too much now, standing outside the door with Puck and Sam,” she said, knowing that Hunter might appreciate knowing Sebastian was worried.
“And yes, I heard you and your plan to take our pills by yourself past a few city blocks, but I decided that I don’t agree with your plan,” she said with a shrug. “I love you and we can agree to disagree. After your museum experience I decided that the conservative way is the best way - don’t tell my father I said that. But I’m going to trust you and believe that there are no more.”
She gave him a pointed look, meeting his frustration with her own stubbornness. She softened though, in trying to explain Santana. “I agree with you that he’s better in a pair. He was way better with you than he was alone. Santana just wants him instantly stronger. “We all want him happy, and we all want you happy. I just really hope that you don’t leave here tonight and just fade into the sunset, only showing up for Sebastian’s birthday or mine...we would all miss you.”
He was being cryptic about what he needed to let go of, but years of friendship told her not to push on it, or the fact that he didn’t want an escort. She thought for a second and then looked up, “Ok, I won’t force you into a cab as long as you promise me that whatever you’re letting go of does not involve you hurting yourself or even numbing yourself, in any way. I doubt that it does, because I think you show good judgment for Jay. But you’re pretty emotional right now, so I just want to make sure you’re not so upset that your judgment is impaired. And if you are you should stay put. We can talk, or not,” she said simply. “Either way, I’m glad to be spending some of my night with you. You’re still one of my best friends. “So how mad are you right now? I know I’ve been frustrating...”
Outside, Sebastian was getting impatient, and as she was speaking he sent a barrage of texts to the lock screen on Quinn’s phone, which lay silenced on the bed: SEBASTIAN: How high is he? SEBASTIAN: Is it as bad as it was at the museum? SEBASTIAN: Maybe it’s better if I talk to him. Maybe we should shut the party down so he and I can just be in our house like we used to. SEBASTIAN: Q SEBASTIAN: Q SEBASTIAN: Q! SEBASTIAN: I’m giving you five more minutes and then I’m coming in SEBASTIAN: [30 seconds later] I’m going to call Jay. SEBASTIAN: Tana says Hunt might not Jay to see Hunt like this SEBASTIAN: [dials]
thehuntison:
Celebration || NYE Group Para
“Just in case I do something like this- or worse?” Hunter countered. “Especially after the museum. It seems I could tell my life was crumbling; but didn’t realize it.” He narrowed his eyes and raised one brow. “You didn’t find them. I did. So by your logic, I should be keeping them.” Hunter shook his head. “I don’t want to wait until tomorrow. I want to take care of it tonight. And there is no need to call any doctor. If you open the bottle and look– they’re not exactly… prescribed. All the more reason to get rid of them for good.”
Hunter shrugged. “I guess Rob and Karen might. They put me up after the museum. Santana really doesn’t like me though- which is whatever, honestly. I think she’d rather see Seb with anyone but me; Jay, Marc, some random guy, alone….” he trailed off. Hunter shook his head. “No need for Jay to come out. I’m kind of hoping he might be setting up something special for us, and I’d hate to take him away from that,” he smiled.
Hunter looked at Quinn confused. “What? No, I’m not worried about that. I just meant, it makes sense. He keeps his people close and when he actually cares about someone, that doesn’t really go away. And he’s always going to be important to me. He’s one of my closest friends. He’s one of Jay’s closest friends. We’re family. And anyone else that comes along is going to have to accept us that way.”
Quinn nodded, not saying anything, hearing him out at first. She replied quietly. “The museum was the beginning of the end for you and Seb. It’s a big step, even if it’s the right one. And this is the official end. The end of the end. I’m, we’re, we’re worried that yes, you might get anxious about the change, what’s going to happen, how Sebastian is going do without you.
‘It would be natural for anyone in your position to feel a bit itchy, to do something to take the edge off of your anxiety. Seb’s drinking too much, but we there’s a battalion of our friends, plus his friend Marc, making sure he doesn’t do anything dangerous. If it were Puck, we’d be making he wasn’t having too much MJ. If it were me, you guys would be making sure I was eating enough and not going crazy on the Peloton, right?” She got up and walked into the bathroom, pills in hand. While her back was turned to him, she popped the top off of the pill bottle. “Ok, let’s take care of it tonight,” she said as she poured the pills into the toilet. She flushed them, coming back to him with a sympathetic face. “Are there more?”
She shook her head. “Santana is protective of Seb. She just didn’t like you with Seb. That’s different than not liking you. She does have love for you, all of the Ohio crowd. i wouldn’t lie to you, you know that. Believe me, you’d know if she didn’t like you as a person, even a little bit. And okay, she did like Seb with Jay, but when they broke up she also didn’t mind. Now, I think she likes Seb alone.”
Quinn nodded when Hunter spoke about always being in Sebastian’s life. She was relieved to hear it. “So, do you want to walk to Jay’s, or do you Seb to call his driver?”
Have you ever thought about, or have you ever actually dated, Catie Crestolini or Quinn Fabray?
Both are beautiful, intelligent, and witty women. I've dated neither. I've thought about both. They are among my closest friends. I've been known to call Catie my 'work wife'.
We're also currently all involved in other relationships. In my case, one I hope lasts a really damn long time.
@nycquinn
Yeah, and you know you can’t pry Q away from me anyway. ‘Cause I’m not intimidated by your big college degree and your classy museum job and all of Seb’s zillions of bucks. Not intimidated at all. Okay maybe a little. But also nope. But also absolutely. But also not worried because Jay ain’t letting you go anywhere.
You’re crazy. And I love you.
Throwback Thursday that makes me miss @Finn Hudson so much. I was low key THRILLED to get to sing a few solo lines, after 2.5 years of competitions! And then after all my diva fuming about it, I was so nervous before we started! Having @broadwaytina right next to me saved me. I’m glad we went on before Paradise so I could support Puck in his solo during that - though he never gets nervous.
DIANNA AGRON 📸 by Evelyn Freja for Bustle (2023)
Going into the new year-- any goals? Any regrets?
Goal: Getting engaged to Puck!
Sell my company. Take a trip with Puck around the world to enjoy my success, reset my goals, and plan for the future. Seriously. My travel agent is working on it, my lawyers are working out the sale!
What is the most surprising thing you have learnt about Hunter Clarington in your friendship?
I thought about this for a minute and I must admit I had a hard time thinking of something. Maybe when he told me he is bisexual? But that wasn't surprising because of him or any qualities he did or didn't have. It was because for as long as I can remember, I associated him with the very traditional, very straight world of our families.
What is more important about my friendship with Hunter is the opposite of your question. I count on him to not surprise me. I know what I'm going to get with him, and I've come to rely on it. He's the most solid part of life, really. I love my family and my boyfriend but they are all passionate types and they count on me to steady them. I love being that person for them and I love the variety and color they give my life, but sometimes I need to be steadied. When things pile up, when New York is a little too fast and overwhelming, I know I can call Hunter and that he'll make time for me. He's the only brother I have. He's a year younger than me, but he's still my big brother.
@thehuntison
I appreciate you so much. I’ll always be here for you.
Thanks, Hunt. Right back at you. I have a pretty sturdy shoulder for you, too.
“ong live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming, "Long live all the magic we made"
And bring on all the pretenders
One day, we will be remembered
[Verse 2]
I said, "Remember this feeling"
I pass the pictures around
Of all the years that we stood there on the sidelines
Wishing for right now
We are the kings and the queens
You traded your baseball cap for a crown
When they gave us our trophies
And we held them up for our town”
Michelangelo Maestri - A bacchanale (detail)
patricksvisuals
Quinnter || nye
Hunter: What? How am I being cute?
Hunter [deleted]: You don't know the half of it.
Hunter: Paris is always a good idea for Sebastian. It allows him to collect himself, reconnect, regroup if needed. I think time, and space, from NYC and everyone was also a big help for him. Helped him see things bigger picture. But he's also the guy that would put on a good front even if he wasn't. That's basically this party.
Hunter: I'm working on a lot of things this year. I might have bitten off more than I can chew, or maybe it will make me laser focused. We will see.
Hunter: They're never going to be as close to me as they are to Seb, but they don't actively hate me anymore thanks to Seb too. Besides, I have you, Catie, and of course Jay. And Grandpas Dean and Smythe. I'm even getting used to Sam Evans-- but if he hurts Catie...
Hunter: Yeah, I don't really want to celebrate it. I feel like we're making a big deal out of not much. In the beginning I felt like it had to mean a lot was going to change and quick. That was scary. Is still scary sometimes to think about. It's hard to trust and believe we're going to work this out when things are rough. I've never really experienced someone staying then-- when things get rough. Not even Sebastian- the first time. I know what it's like to lose him and he wasn't even as much to me then as he is now. I really did put too much on him, and into him. That's the scary part.
Hunter: And you know how well I do with change and stress. And things not going according to plan.
Hunter: But then I look at Seb and Rob, Seb and Santana, Seb and Dave, and I realize he does keep his people around long term. If you're lucky enough to get to that point. I look at him and Jay and realize he is weirdly enough that guy who can be good friends with his ex. Even if I think it's because they're also a little in love with each other. Maybe not romantic love, but love all the same. I hate to admit that Marc also proves this point. So I have hope that Seb and I will find our new normal. It might not even be all that different. Sure, maybe we won't be roommates much longer, and there won't be anymore sex, but we still get each other in a way few others do.
Hunter: He says he is-- I'm not sure I entirely believe him. Which is another reason to bow out early. I worry he feels like he has to be okay with it to be supportive of Sebastian.
Hunter: It was hard. Thankfully Jay's family was awesome. I had to figure out some shit on my own. I did call my therapist a couple of times. Jay alternated between wanting to be clingy and pushing me away. And it was so weird to be so close-- but yet have to face time and text and stuff. I figured we'd come back from Christmas and hate sleeping apart-- but we barely got to spend any nights together. I think it's possible it will happen, but for different reasons.
Hunter: Blah. That was a lot. That's Jay. He does this. He did this. He's been so easy for me to open up to that now my default setting is almost constantly set on opening up more. Sebastian even saw it in the end and would often comment 'who are you'? I think he misses silent, stoic Hunter.
Quinn: Seb doesn't do change easily. I could smack him for making you feel bad about opening up more. He misses having you as a boyfriend but I think we're all going to love the new you. We all love YOU, so getting to hear and see you more, that's a win for all of us.
Quinn: Oh, you were being cute in the way you asked me to come to the NYE party earlier. Directly saying you wanted to see me. Again, Open!Hunter is an endearing improvement. Just when I didn't think I could love you anymore. This Jay person must be quite something.
Quinn: [deleted] I'll try not to hate him for snagging you before the rest of us could get a shot.
Quinn: Have you seen Bas since he got back? I like the idea of the party for him - I just wasn't sure about it for you. As someone with experience with putting on a good front, I can reassure you that it doesn't have to be artificial. Especially after seeing him online this week and talking to him briefly about the party, I think Seb will find the best of himself to bring tonight. It will be the bravest and most fun part of him. He may have to deal with the hardest parts of your break up later, but at least it will have been balanced with the support of friends who were there for him tonight - friends who believe he'll be okay without you.
Quinn: I look forward to hearing at least a little more about your goal list when I see you tonight.
Quinn: I'm not sure anyone hated you, Hunt. But because you were so quiet, people were mostly intimidated by you.
Quinn: You're close with Seb's grandfather? I hope you maintain that, you're such an old soul that you I bet you get a lot out of time with him.
Quinn: Sam Evans went to high school with me. I dated him, but not for long enough. He's the least likely, of all of my HS friends, to hurt anyone. I'd be more worried about Catie breaking /his/ heart.
Quinn: I'm sorry if the party feels uncomfortable for you. I agree with you that Seb keeps his people around long-term. He's very proactive about it (I get my intel from Santana, of course). He and Santana don't have any real reason to see each other so often - her circles don't overlap completely with him, Rob, Karen, you and the Warblers. But he is the reason he and Santana are as close as they are. He seeks her out and makes the time and makes her carve out time for him. You're also of those people. He felt that way even before you two started calling each other "boyfriends."
Quinn: I wouldn't normally think it was a good idea for a friend of mine to go from one relationships right into another one. But it feels like a good thing for you, given how much you invested in Sebastian. Jay is a good support as you make the transition. More importantly, it sounds like you really appreciate him and aren't using him as a crutch. Support and being a crutch being an important distinction.
Quinn: You're doing really well with the change and stress. I mean, Christmas alone was like an Olympian feat. I'm proud to call you my friend, Mister.
Quinn: I forgot about that, that's a really good point that he and Jay staying in touch is evidence that he'll stay close with you. Sebastian just keeps all of his relationships very low profile, like to make the world think he's a lone wolf. Instead, he's got all of you on every corner of the prairie. Did I get my wilderness references right? :D
Quinn: Who's Marc? I didn't know he had another boyfriend besides Jay. And I only heard about Jay when Jay moved here...Lone Wolf!
Quinn: Giving up sex with Sebastian Smythe must be...sigh. But your Jay is beautiful, too. Well done, Mr. Clarington.
Quinn: That reminds me, my lone wolf just texted me that he's going to make it back in time for tonight after all. So I'll skip the girlfriend's dinner but we'll still come over before dessert. Puck is looking forward to partying with Seb.
Quinn: I'm glad you called your therapist while you were in California, I was worried about you. You're reminding me, I want to go see mine soon.
Quinn: See you tonight, Hunt. Happy for you, this is a very different NYE for you.
little ouppy .