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Transfer? What Transfer?

I DO NOT CONSENT TO MY WORKS, IDEAS, CONCEPTS, OR POSTS BEING FED TO ANY FORM OF AI, WHETHER IT IS FOR GENERATIVE CONTENT, TRAINING, SCRAPING, OR ANY OTHER AI USAGE.

Now that I’ve established that… So. Uh. This is not on the trope list, but I find the idea pretty hilarious in my head, so- given that it’s been floating around forever- I thought I may as well go ahead and post a version of it. I personally headcanon that at least one Housewarden has tried, either right after Overblotting or during someone else’s major problem event, to officially transfer Yuu into their dorm- like, at those Housewarden meetings Malleus always misses. I also think it would be hilarious if they started fighting each other over who actually gets Yuu in their dorm. Because that seems… pretty in-character for most of these guys? Thus: have this oneshot/snippet thingy. This fic would receive an AO3 rating of Teen & Up, for mild violence.

Tags: Highly questionable POV switching; mild fantasy violence resulting in major property damage; just about all the Housewardens and Vice Housewardens, minus Malleus who is Sir Not Appearing, Rook who is somewhere in the background for most of this I guess, and Yuu (by technicality, with the whole prefect thing) who is Mx. Not Appearing; at least one of these guys is going to be wildly ooc, I’m sure of it; no gender mentioned for Yuu outside of using the suffix -kun, (which is not necessarily male-specific? at least I don’t think so? it can also be used for a respected younger or junior woman and for children at least in my research) go wild and imagine what you want; set throughout most of the TWST canon timeline, so spoilers and canon divergence for literally all of that (especially canon-divergence the Ruggie-related aftermath of Book 2), but please note that ‘the TWST canon timeline’ in my head is based off of one (1) completely unfounded series of rambling thoughts.

Here is the vague order of events with housewarden meetings interspersed in the whole thing: September- Riddle, Housewarden meeting; October- Leona, Housewarden meeting; November- Housewarden meeting, then Azul (since I personally put midterms at the end of November, with the whole Azul situation taking place in the last week of November or the very start of December); December- Housewarden meeting, then Jamil (since I would only put one week of December before Winter Break starts, that’s when the meeting occurs, and the whole Jamil thing would be afterwards); January- Housewarden meeting, VDC stuff begins; end of the timeline as I need it for the purpose of this fic (yeah yeah I know nothing about Book 7 I’m really really behind shut up; I also barely know anything about Book 6 so whatever happened with Idia is not exactly Actively Happening here).

In September, when Riddle Rosehearts announced his intention to transfer the Ramshackle Prefect into Heartslabyul, the greatest voice of dissent was Headmage Crowley.

”Yuu-kun would murder me if I showed up at Ramshackle on no notice with transfer papers,” he had wailed, burying his head in his hands. “Rosehearts-kun, surely you can spare this magnanimous headmage just a little bit of trauma? And paperwork?”

Riddle had scoffed and carried on about it for another twenty minutes, but backed off- especially, rumor had it, after the Prefect nearly thwacked him over the head with Grim after being told about his plans.

In October, things… escalated. Riddle got into a fight- pens and all- with Leona Kingscholar when the Savanaclaw Housewarden declared his intention to transfer the prefect into his dorm. Despite his lingering injuries from the Spelldrive Tournament, Leona was just as vicious as always, managing to dust a long patch of Riddle’s cloak before he was collared. After that, he had turned to the use of his claws, and they had all learned- quite unwillingly- that, when properly scared or angry, Riddle screamed like a little girl.

The usually-calm Vice Housewarden of Heartslabyul, Trey Clover, had gotten involved in the brawl too, turning Ruggie Bucchi’s weirdly hi-tech prosthetic fingers into a bouquet of tansies for half an hour. This alone should probably have made many more alarms go off in the minds of certain personages, but alas- nobody ever accused half these boys of being properly observant.

At that time, it took the combined forces of Vil Schoenheit, Kalim al-Asim, and Headmage Crowley to end the brawl while the other Housewardens (minus Malleus, who, surprise surprise, had not been invited) looked on in horror. The sole exception to the slack-jawed rule was Jade Leech, who sat and giggled uncontrollably the whole time. Rook Hunt was probably also giggling, at least internally, but he was doing a good job of hiding it.

In November, Riddle and Leona turned half of the meeting room into sand and debris in the continuation of their fight over the prefect’s transfer status (or lack thereof), and Professor Crewel had to be called in to help pull the two sets of House Leaders off of each other (Ruggie’s prosthetic was, once again, turned into a bouquet of tansies, courtesy of Trey).

The meeting ended early, as the sand had made the room quite unusable and the air quality in the area was bordering on dangerous, and the concerningly abnormal study habits of a large portion of the student body were never brought up.

In December, Headmage Crowley started off the meeting on the last day of school (pushed back due to Octavinelle’s sudden and unexpected lockdown) by complaining about how Riddle and Leona had both nearly broken his office door down and demanded to take Yuu along with them for break (separately), nearly inciting another duel between the two. The only reason it hadn’t turned into a brawl immediately was that Ruggie was busy collecting snacks from the table to take home with him and definitely wasn’t paying attention to the meeting.

Luckily, Azul stepped in- and then he declared his intention to transfer the prefect to Octavinelle! Jade agreed smoothly, and the meeting once again adjourned early to prevent an all-out battle from taking place as both Riddle and Leona- hissing about Azul’s nerve after some unnamed incident- lunged at the octopus merman with murder in their eyes.

In January, after Winter Break, Scarabia added itself to the list of dorms that wanted the Ramshackle Prefect as an official member. They had, at least, waited until after discussions of the VDC were over- otherwise, Vil might actually have committed at least one murder. However, a decent number of the attendees sat and gaped as Azul Ashengrotto- mafia-boss-incarnate Azul who tricked half the school into slavery contracts- drew himself up to his full height and told the Housewarden and Vice of Scarabia (mostly the Vice) that, after the danger Yuu had had to deal with at their hands, the only way Yuu would transfer to Scarabia would be over Azul’s dead body and the Leech twins’ shriveled husks.

At the word ‘danger’, a vein started throbbing in Riddle’s temple and he immediately collared Jamil. Leona let out a low growl, holding up a clawed hand. And Jade, standing to Azul’s right, nodded with uncharacteristic vigor and added, “As Yuu-san’s symbiote, I shall gladly say that Azul-san’s words are true.”

Hiding behind his screen, Idia couldn’t help wishing he was even less present as the four Housewardens (Kalim had somehow gained a few levels over the break, although Jamil looked mildly guilty) began to argue, and Headmage Crowley slumped in his seat with a groan.

“When I said you might be able to tame some of the students,” he wailed, likely to the absent Yuu, “I didn’t mean that you should do this! Oh, the travesty. I told you to stay away from Ashengrotto, but did you listen? No, and you even nabbed the Leeches, by accident, because you existed!”

He went on as Jade lunged at Jamil in the background, bemoaning his lack of an ability to foresee the strength of Yuu’s beast-taming abilities- wait, Idia thought horrifiedly.

He muted his mic and looked over at Ortho. “What kind of hidden UR is that normie?” he half-shrieked. “A beast tamer class? Who thought putting one of those here would be balanced game design?”

”Oh,” Ortho said, clapping his hands together. “You’re talking about Yuu-san, right? The Ramshackle Prefect is really nice! I said you should go over and try to make friends, didn’t I? Yuu-san has so many friends, it’d be like that one chapter in-”

On the screen, the Headmage screamed about adjourning the meeting and Crewel stormed in to yank Jade off of Jamil, who was nearly unconscious.

Idia sighed, disconnecting. “…too many friends,” he concluded, shuddering. “That normie has too many friends.”

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