I just want to live @oak-sprout - Tumblr Blog

Welcome Home!

This system doesn't have a name yet, nor do we have roles sorted out yet. That may change as we do more research, but we've only just started fully accepting and understanding that we have DID.

We grew up in a hostile home environment, made worse by the apocalyptic cult we were raised in, and we were never really given the tools needed to fully understand what was happening. For the longest time we just thought everyone had more than one person floating around in there. We thought it was just something you didn't talk about, I don't know.

Our system is made up of four individuals.

The Host. The 'original', you could say. I go by He/Him, my name is Alcaeus. I'm the one fronting most of the time. I'm the reason we're all here. ☀️

Simon. I use He/Him. I think I formed during childhood, but took different forms over the years depending on what Alcaeus needed at the time. (I used to be Batman when he was really little). I mainly front to protect the system when whoever's at the wheel isn't doing well. I *think* the technical term is 'protector', but I'm not sure.🌱

Hello, I am Gandalf. He/Him is the term, if I'm not mistaken. I have been in this system for many years. Much like Simon, I formed when Alcaeus was very young; although I have not changed form, I instead took to the shadows for a time. I have reappeared now, however, as the system is in need of a guiding hand.📜

Sup, it's Jax. You know me, or at least you should. I popped in pretty recently, just when all the 'deconstructing cult shit' started happening. Kind of a lame reason to form, but whatever. I distract the system. I make every bad thing infinitely funnier. That's my whole thing, I make things funny so we don't fall to pieces lol. Oh, She/Her, btw.🐇

HELLO MY CURIOUS CRITTERS, MY NAME IS CAINE! I COULDN'T TELL YOU WHAT MY JOB IS BUT I'M SURE WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT! FOR NOW I'M JUST ENJOYING MY ADVENTUROUS TIME HERE! I'M NOT PICKY ABOUT PRONOUNS, BUT YOU CAN USE HE/HIM!🎩

DNI! You will be blocked and reported!

Hate blogs, syscourse, TERFs, fake claimers, MAPs, Nazis, anti agere/kin/system, homophobes, transphobes, under 21/ageless blogs, Jehovah's Witnesses, religious blogs, nsft blogs, and anyone else who comes here with ill intent. We're not messing around, we *will* block your ass.

We also have an age/pet regression related blog, respect the DNI! @buttercupbaby03

#actually plural #did alter #did community #did system #plural stuff #plural system #plurality #fictive system #Simon iron lung alter #Gandalf alter #jax alter #pinned post #caine fictive

‼️Sort of Vent‼️

Host and partner + roommate: *discussing the shadiness of our therapist* (we all share the same therapist)

Gandalf: *disappointed wizard noises*

Simon: *angry protector noises*

Jax: *confused rabbit noises*

The fucking Caine fictive that came out of nowhere:

"so clearly I should front when we have our next appointment and skip it right?"

The system:

#actually plural #did alter #did community #did system #plural stuff #plural system #plurality #fictive system #simon iron lung fictive #gandalf fictive #jax tadc fictive #caine fictive #this is the same guy who fronted at work and made our coworkers think we were high bc he's so high energy #where did you even come from???

You know, people talk about how debilitating/upsetting plurality is and can be, and it really is sometimes.

But sometimes it's realizing that Gandalf showed up in your early childhood(at the beginning of your 'adventure') before fucking off for years only to show up again at 23 and laughing your ass off because it's the most Gandalf thing ever.

-Alcaeus ☀️

#actually plural #did alter #did community #did system #plural stuff #plural system #plurality #fictive system #gandalf fictive #this guy..#he really just showed back up one day and was like “🤗”

mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

I always forget there are maga people on tumblr, this doesn’t feel like a website you’d find them on, so to keep them away:

Reblog if your blog is a maga free zone because if it wasn’t clear enough fuck ice, fuck maga, fuck Trump, Fuck Rowling, and fuck all the other bigots I missed

mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

In case anyone missed it

oak-sprout

Tw: homophobia‼️

Happy pride month to Alcaeus' Father, who, with full confidence, told us that they should bring back concentration camps so that gay people were too scared to be open about their identity.

Fuck you.

Fuck you, you fucking prick.

-Simon

#actually plural #did alter #did community #did system #pride month #gay #bisexual #lesbian #asexual #aromantic #genderfluid #demiboy #demigirl #trans #pansexual #Simon iron lung fictive

I feel like I'm drowning. I feel like no matter how hard I try to claw my way out, I just get pulled deeper. I feel like I'm not working hard enough. I feel like I'm not trying hard enough. I feel like I'm not supportive enough.

And yet I can't do more. I feel completely tapped. Wholely and utterly spent. I'm running on fumes, yet I feel like it's never enough. I haven't been able to take my meds bc they make me sick, and I can't afford to miss work this soon after starting. My mental state is rapidly declining because of it, and because of other things, but I can't bring myself to take the damn meds. I'm just so scared of losing my job and being useless. I can only really contribute financially, and if I can't do that why am I even here? Once I can't do anything to help I'm afraid my people will realize that I'm a waste of time and leave me in the dust. I wouldn't blame them at this point, but I'm scared. I'm so scared and it's paralyzing.

-Alcaeus☀️

#vent #actually plural #did alter #did community #did system #plural stuff #plural system #plurality #fictive system #I'm so lost #but I feel like I don't deserve to ask for help because I already get help #I shouldn't need more

Heavy thoughts today boys

I haven't been your daughter for many years, but I hope you still think of me.

I hope you see the relationship you destroyed every time you see a father with his daughter.

I hope you see how I used to idolize you when Father's day gifts line the store shelves.

I hope every time someone talks about their daughter you remember all the times you made horrible jokes to your friends at my expense.

I hope every time someone brags about their child's accomplishments you remember the kid who got themselves through high school and graduated at 15, all to make you proud.

Because I do.

I have to turn away so no one sees my tears when a father holds his daughter's hand

Father's Day is a special kind of hell for me when I remember the man I used to get those gifts for.

When people talk about their loving parents, all I can think of is how hurtful you were. How abusive.

When I accomplish anything, all I hear is your voice telling me you wished you had a daughter you could be proud of.

I hate you

I hate that I still love you.

I hate that even after everything, I still want my Dad.

#trans #transmasc #actually plural #tw abuse

At the doctor's today:

Doc: So what runs in the family?

Alcaeus (Host): Narcissism?

The system:

Our partner:

#actually plural #did alter #did community #did system #plural stuff #plural system #plurality #fictive system #simon iron lung fictive #gandalf fictive #jax fictive #bruh I have no idea #my family didn't believe in doctors #I didn't have a regular doctor until I was 22 #we're literally here bc an old injury never got treated lmaooo #idk my family's med history??#also ik Markiplier isn't an alter and I could have used a Simon pic #but that reaction image is just too good

Tw: med stuff! Nothing too graphic but we're adding this just in case.

That awkward moment when your partner finds out about an old injury that's acting up so they make you go to the clinic to get an X-ray done.

That super awkward moment when you're being wheeled into the labs and your cofronting Simon fictive freaks out bc what do you mean we're about to get blasted with radiation??? Like I promise it's not the same thing bro.

Then you finally get home only to find out that not only are you regressing bc of the stress, but SIMON IS ALSO REGRESSING AND HE PROCEEDS TO DECLARE TO YOUR OTHER ROOMMATE THAT "We got blasted with radiation today!! 😀"

And that's how you find out that you're not the only little in the system TwT