j'en peux plus

Oakley Dalton. 20 years. The Valleys.

[adrianxharper]

Go on — Let’s here it. Tell me your sweetest goodbye, Oakley. Will you miss me? Will you dance on my grave? Now is the time to say it before a laser targets my forehead and I leave this world like JFK.

[oakleydalton-blog]

I was planning on just saying goodbye so I could get back to the hot bath drew just before you came running in here covered in insect corpses. But if you insist I'll throw together a quick eulogy. You don't mind if I plagiarize just a little, do you? Of course you don't, if the words stand true it doesn't matter who says it. Adrian, some infinities are bigger than others. I am thankful for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within those numbered days and I will miss you. As for dancing on your grave, sure. I'll make sure to do a Sandra Bullock inspired jig while chanting 'to the windows...'. May you rest in peace.

[alexmorganjfc]

Why just adults? I say we teach people how to sound important in general —- that way, the elderly can know how to sound important before passing and the children can teach their own children our ways. We’re smart as fuck, Oak. Why would you need a new recipe when you just have the knowledge of how tall the tallest roller coaster is? Yeah, you should —- because that’s exactly how you get laid. You’ve got to know your coasters, Dalton. 

[oakleydalton-blog]

While we're at it, lets train our animals how to sound important. Dogs will bow before begging for table scraps and hamsters will only squeak in an important manner. Then again, we should teach a few unfortunate souls how to sound less important, as to up the importance of the actually important. I hope you are picking up what i'm putting down, as this is a business venture that will be more popular than silly bands. Maybe thats why I haven't been to the shag pad, my extensive knowledge of tall things and amusement parks is severely lacking. Damn. These google-created microwaves need to happen, and they need to happen fast.

[daphnesummers-x]

 Babe, I have no clue what you’re talking about but whatever it is I’m hurryin I’m hurrying. What is it that we’re doing?

[oakleydalton-blog]

You don't remember? You were slightly delirious this morning. We decided we wanted to be picturesque and go watch the sunset. I figured if we did that it would seem like we have our lives all put together, for some reason. Now i'm realizing how flawed my thinking really is. Either way we are going to miss it if you don't get your butt ready right this second.

[adrianawcnder-blog]

Maybe, depends on what happens because if your arm gets cut off I might be in the bathroom puking but other than that, I’ll do my best. No you won’t, not possible.

[oakleydalton-blog]

Understandable. Glad to know I can count on you to hold my hand -- assuming that my arm is still attached to my body. That would be an awful scenario. If you were on the bathroom floor puking I would want to hold your rapunzel-like hair back, but I wouldn't have an arm to do so. Lets knock on wood and hope that these events never come to pass. 

[milesmyass-deactivated20150321]

Are you sure you’re up for it? You can’t chicken out once we leave.

[oakleydalton-blog]

I wish I were a good liar, those skills would come in handy right about now. Okay, i'll lay it all out for you. There is an 80% chance that I will end up chickening out. I just said I was up for it because I wanted to see you do it first. Now that the truth is out, lets do this thing.

[fck-reagan]

Perhaps it just means that you’re heart is empty or your appreciation for pure, exquisite art is severely subpar. I should certainly hope you’re not following a thing those guide books say or I might have to disown you, little cousin. No no, please, elaborate, string those thoughts into words and phrases. I guarantee you some of them are ideas we might share. You’re drawings of me when we were fair young things were absolutely horrific, I’m quite sure you had my arms coming out the side of my head in a few of them. Oh? Shall we rehash the old days and use crayons to create beautiful portraits of one another?

[oakleydalton-blog]

It may be a mixture of the two. My heart is shockingly similar to the Grinch's, hence why I am so cold and mean. The only thing I know about art in general is that Van Gogh chopped off his ear and sent it to his girlfriend. However I thought that taking time out of my day to visit these famous hotspots I would experience some sort of rebirth. So far no success. About the guide books -- I plead the fifth. Did you pose for the pictures? Or did he just pain them. Either way, I want one. In my defense, most of the drawings you are referencing were done blindfolded. Hah. I would love that. We could recreate it to a tee and sit cross legged on the kitchen floor. 

[daphnesummers-x]

— I’m coming, I’m comin’. Will ya at least let me put some clothes on?

[daphnesummers-x]

[oakleydalton-blog]

Forget the clothes Daphne the sun is setting right now. In my head I pictured this a lot less rushed. We've got approximately one minute to put together a picturesque masterpiece.

[oakleydalton-blog]

——…Not that i’m not enjoying what you have to say, but I just —…I really need to get to my room. So, if you excuse me —

I mean, i'm a fan of relaxing, and when I get tired of relaxing I like to do nothing. I enjoy food but that doesn't mean I enjoy cooking. I also enjoy sleeping but making a bed is something I never do-- what? Oh shoot yeah. Sorry. This whole time I thought you wanted to hear my thoughts on microwavable food. I'm now realizing you were just being polite. Consider me more than embarrassed.

[wtvrmason-blog]

After seventy-two brutal hours of near death, I am fully recovered, not at all contagious, and a solid ten pounds lighter. Adios, stomach bug. You shan’t be missed—… but I did miss human contact and food. Haven’t eaten in three-ish days, and—… you know, never mind that. How’re you? I haven’t seen your smiling face in ages it seems.

[wtvrmason-blog]

[oakleydalton-blog]

Smiling face? I didn't realize that was what I was doing. It was more of a 'you look like you just arose from the dead but I am not going to question it' face. The house did seem a little off, glad to have you back.

[avia-hanson-deactivated20150125]

[oakleydalton-blog]

You look lost. You lost?

[txrimartin-deactivated20150407]

Yes, Hi! I got locked out. Nobody answered the door so yes, I’m climbing through the window. 

[txrimartin-deactivated20150407]

[oakleydalton-blog]

We have officially turned into animals. 

[adrianawcnder-blog]

That is true, all the blood and… ew. Don’t you hate that though, it always feels like once you start to like a character, the show kills them. And you can ruin my teenager years, I won’t let you. Twitter it is then?

[oakleydalton-blog]

The blood, and the fact that stuff like that actually happens. Adri, if I fall victim to a horrible tragedy and require intense surgery will you be the one waiting for me outside the double doors? Thanks. I can and I will. Sorry. 

[lottietommorp-deactivated201504]

Nope, nope, nothing to see!

[oakleydalton-blog]

For some reason I don't believe that.

[brutrealism]

[bryce-summers]

Right, right, of course. I’ll call up The Committee of Public Safety first, most definitely. They must be informed about this awful, mutating, air-born virus. Then I’ll go to Webster and Fox and CNN and every where else so this disease is properly known world-wide. I’d hate to see us humans go crazy over it, you know? I’m telling you, it has spread like wildfire around this house. Beditis is slowly taking over. Still kicking? That doesn’t sound too positive, Oak. 

[oakleydalton-blog]

This is where I feel the need to step in and transfer some of my knowledge to you. You could call the Public Safety Committee, but you would have to describe this virus in great detail. Or, you could go straight to Webster's dictionary and get the name and the copyright. Then when you go to inform  the big guys, you will seem like the smartest and most credible chap ever by using a word that no one had ever heard before. Did that make any sense at all? Just listen to me, i'm right. I've probably caught it, and if I haven't it is quickly coming. No, no. Its positive. I just got done watching one of those old black and white comedies where someone died and literally 'kicked the bucket'. So the phrase has been in my head. I just wanted to say it. You know. I haven't kicked the bucket yet, so i'm still kicking. I don't know. The beditis has gotten to my brain.

[kandeskane-blog]

I men, that is how everyone would like to spend their free time. But you seem the most dedicated so I am choosing you.

[oakleydalton-blog]

Really? Well I assure you that you won't regret this decision. I am one of the hardest workers out there. In fact, one time I actually went to the library. Impressive right?

[wtfzara]

Could you imagine if it was a woman? I wouldn’t be opposed to that, but it’d be a bit of a shock. Wait — he’s what? Nicholas Sparks, how could you do this to us? You’re killing all the hope I had left. Ah, yes, anyone who wishes to win over my heart with roses and RDJ must also provide Oakley with all the edible goods she desires. And they can chuck in some ice-cream for me too, while they’re at it.

[oakleydalton-blog]

Plot twist, you're secret admirer is actually the dog with a blog. Hence why he stays hidden. It makes sense. Have fun with that. He is! Which is awful because I gave his books so much credibility. All that is now shattered. Wait a minute, I get it now. He is going to run back to the lover he always wished he could be with. It'll be a whole other love story.