*•. .•*

[oakpinejuniper]

Signs about don’t flush this or that are always so intense. How about take a deep breath and calm down before you make a sign.

[oakpinejuniper]

Biking and eating all over this lil city. All we’ve been doing. Wednesday we took the ferry to Peaks Island and then yesterday did the east end promenade and back cove loop. Portland has amazing bike lanes and infrastructure! 15 mi biking plus 10K+ steps plus Dave’s influence = I can eat a lot ! Today we’re gonna thrift and visit the lighthouse then make our way down to providence for a night before tomorrow kicks off the family beach vacation.

[oakpinejuniper]

Portland! Evening, morning.

[oakpinejuniper]

we had the most fun wedding I could’ve dreamed up. a beautiful sunny day, I felt so chill and happy, the party walked out to “love her in the morning” by rising appalachia and I walked to heartbeats covered by jose gonzalez. it was the most beautiful and surreal moment looking out to our group, the light on everyone was golden bright. our officiant-friend did the best job and a dragonfly was perched on his book the whole time watching us, the food was perfect and we got countless compliments, the dance floor remained packed and lively all night, and my friends lifted me up as we danced to the chain as u can see here.

[oakpinejuniper]

instaxes from the bach ! we also spent friday late afternoon, all day sunday, and monday morning at the beach!!

[oakpinejuniper]

just feel like recording some memories

from my bachelorette party ~

to be among the group of people i feel most comfortable with in the world - an absolute joy and blessing. 6 college girlfriends i've known for 15 years, since we chose to live together for sophomore year in 2011; 2 friends i met in 2017 when i first moved to the hv and went on to travel a bunch with; 1 sister i've known since i was 3, who is close in age and we are more similar than we were growing up and we are also so different but our overlap grows and grows. i feel so lucky to have these connections. funnily i have lived with all of these people as well!

my sister brought the decor together and made us have a theme. at first i was like, do we really need themes/coordinated outfits, but actually all my friends loved it and we only did one night where it was matchy/themed so it was not over the top..

the theme was FIRE cuz fire island and actually it was the best theme? like red orange yellow streamers, a fire garland, and a little tinsel hanging backdrop.. kept it simple but it made a difference and added to the party vibe. and many jokes/songs about fire. and my friends look good in red/orange! we're all usually more earth tones/black/neutrals, so people were happy to wear things they dont usually feel bold enough to wear : )

um luckily the wildfire skies cleared up before the trip too

but we got heavy rain saturday - but not before we made it for a bike ride around the island! and it stopped for us to walk 20 min to dinner, downpoured at dinner, then cleared up for us to walk over to the dance spot!

the walk was hilarious because the flooding was so bad we had to take our shoes off and walk through the puddles barefoot.

dancing like crazy at the beach dance club thank god. i didnt know what the vibe would be but it was millennial hope pop2k night or something and i was overjoyed.

everyone we met being a young long island italian boy OR an old sun-shriveled drunk but the most friendly version of those. hilarious people.

being back in the place where i have my most precious childhood memories just clicked something for me. there were differences but not major ones tbh. the same institutions. the same paths and phragmites and stairs to the beach and sunset from a bayside dock. some houses were nicer and bigger but it wasnt over the top. it still felt like a humble family beach town.

i love no cars. i love walking and biking everywhere. i love hearing the beach from my deck. i love the beach period i just love it.

i feel so regulated after this trip. i had doubts about the bach trip the weekend before the wedding, but i'm glad i did it. i came back feeling so thankful for dave, missing him even, content, ready to do the whole wedding, less anxious about it being "perfect" or whatever because of all the reassurance i've received these last few days.

[oakpinejuniper]

Hazy smoky day working in the woods. Trail clearing from all the storm damage. Before and after in two different spots. Total of about 15 spots with downed trees. At the worst, at one spot there were 8 different trees that had dominoed and piled up right over the trail. We took care of that mess on Monday.

[oakpinejuniper]

sometimes it's worth fully reading the internal comms quarterly newsletter... i put my hand up for a call for staff volunteers for shellfish surveys on my home bay starting in mid-august! and got a reply immediately saying i'll be able to be on the field crew. and since my mom still lives there i can stay overnight with her and do two days out. also turns out one of the guys who runs the surveys went to my high school. it's amazing the work that our org and other partners are doing to save the bay. when i was a kid it was notoriously polluted and a lot less clamming going on. now there is a resurgence of oysters and clams and so on and i get to be part of the work :) out of the woods and onto the water hell yeah

[oakpinejuniper]

I need someone to stretch my hip flexors into oblivion and massage my calves for 30 minutes or more. And a head massage while I’m here.

[oakpinejuniper]

Sparkly mud caked gloves, a tree that got the best of me (couldn’t figure out how to safely remove it from the path but I did get a whole nother one removed and we’re making a sign to encourage ppl to go around it for now). And my LUNCH damn I worked up an appetite and I’m so glad we meal prepped bits and pieces effectively to make this bowl o food.

[oakpinejuniper]

God it was so nice to sit and stare at the grey sky, the blue hills on the horizon, the green edge of the woods, and a wildflower meadow in front of me, bees buzzing, wind swaying, and drizzle on my face.

I’m feeling out of love with the forest… or maybe it’s just the carrying heavy equipment while hiking I am out of love with. Which is fun (type ii) with only two conditions - a crew to complain and joke with, and/or stunning surroundings that inspire awe and love for the natural world.. my scrap of woods by the highway that I have to hike uphill every way with one person asking me what to do next… is not it lol here I go w the negativity first thing, but like. I’m just saying. I see the issue. But maybe today will prove me wrong.

[oakpinejuniper]

I gave it some time and was able to have a hot bath <3 tomorrow morning I plan to wake, stretch, eat a piece of the frittata I made yesterday with my coffee, and write in my journal before work.

[oakpinejuniper]

Spent a drizzly day at a local farm for a nature-based mindfulness workshop for environmental advocates, practitioners & educators. I arrived frazzled because roads were closed still from downed trees from the 4th of July storm, with my mind racing through work and wedding plans and anxious troubleshooting. At first I noticed my mind continuing to run through the meditations but somewhere around hour 3 I was able to settle and find a nicer voice with more self compassion. I dozed off a little during the post-lunch meditation that we were offered to take lying down, and honestly woke up feeling so nice and calm. As we closed I noticed so much more space and quiet. Being on the farm felt so so nice. The crews were working quietly together. The flowers and vegetables looked so abundant and bright from all the rain. Part of the anxiety that kept coming up for me today was the intense longing I felt being there, jealous honestly, of these people who get to come here everyday and learn and work together supporting the plants and growing food for our community.. I felt alone all over again and resentful of my stuck feeling in my org and the 1-1 structure of my on the ground “team” here. But towards the close of our meditation, our group leader shared a poem that alluded to seeing things as a negative actually being a bad habit. How easy it feels to spiral into negativity. I have to redirect myself a lot these days and say hey now hold on.. the message that resonated was “what if it’s all ok?” What if it was all going to go well, and I didn’t need to preemptively worry and despair. What if I could get into the habit of assuming the best? And if things get tough I’ll deal with it then and trust I’ll be capable to do so, so I don’t need to waste time worrying what if, because I got it… it was just such a restorative day and it always amazes me how simple mindfulness is-breathing in and out, observing what’s there, slowing down, sitting still- and yet it’s so effective. It’s the kind of thing I take for granted and imagine I’m doing much more often than I actually am. Like this deep diaphragmatic breathing workshop I took a few years ago where we did just that for like 30 minutes and I was thinking along the way oh is this all, isn’t there some secret thing or component to it that I wasn’t aware of, that’s going to blow my mind and be so effective, but then at the end I was so relaxed and that was just it, that was the practice, that is what delivers the wisdom, it really is so simple, it’s just a matter of making time for meditation and breathing and doing it. And sorry but not just for 10-20 minutes, but for hours, at least for me, to really feel the benefit because it takes me so long to settle in. I am so glad I went, with all that’s ahead in the next few weeks, I have a better sense of how to be present and support myself through things.

[oakpinejuniper]

oh no i used all the hot water to do dishes and now my bath is lukewarm .

[oakpinejuniper]

i've figured out that it's not my computer (laptop) but my monitor that is not working. so now i have to look only at my tiny laptop screen for work and it's driving me crazy.

[oakpinejuniper]

Work computer won’t turn on and it’s pouring rain and so dark outside. Well, I do have a lot of cooking to doooo…

[oakpinejuniper]

We’re also making slow roasted spicy pulled pork for the week and soaking black beans to make tmw. Will also make rice tomorrow. And I’d like to do some picked red onions. And we’re gonna make cabbage as well to eat with all this .. also blanched lots of broccoli to eat tn with steak and sweet potato, and the rest will make its way into a frittata with potato egg and cheese later this week. Simple delish menu