ɪ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀᴅ ʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ.

people always tend to say that pretty girls turn heads --- but something's wrong with that one !! she'd rather SNAP their necks instead !!

[obciisio]

JAERD:

“Is that a new bra? Really?” @obciisio

“ — what ? it doesn’t look good ? ” jaerd held up the skimpy red number to his chest and waggled his eyebrows. “ i found it under the bed; someone forgot to clean up after themselves before i moved in, i guess. ”

‘ aw, don’t be such a silly billy! it’s obviously DESTINED to be yours ---- go on, put it on! otherwise, i’m stealing it --- i always knew victoria’s secret would one day be out, and i’m so glad you unearthed it. so --- do i not get to see you in lingerie today, jaerd, or do i have to give myself a peep show? kidding ---- kidding! my kinks include things a little more rough and tumble than a skinny boy in a lacy bra. why do you think it was there, huh? hidden under there because of a SEXCAPADE? ’

[bridgetjones]

[obciisio]

JOCELYN:

          ‘ if i didn’t know you well enough soph, i’d be quite worried about your mental stability when it comes to wanting to keep your dead cat in a box in hopes he’d come back to you. since i was fourteen – he’s quite old, which is why he is always grouchy as all shit but he is usually very cuddly and able to love you, just need to pick a good day in order to bother him. kind of like myself — if you think about it. although, you’re too adorable not to like on a daily basis. ’

‘ oh, no! i didn’t hope he would come back. i knew he was dead & gone. i wanted to see what he looked like inside! you know, cut across the belly, take a peek inside --- exciting! like opening up a pinata or a goody bag! and that’s nice, i suppose. but  B O R I N G  as what your grandma used to watch on cable when wheel of fortune wasn’t on ---- ---- and was that a compliment? oh, make my heart soar some more, josie-o! i’m just kidding, i think i flatlined long ago. but the praise? appreciated with a capital a. ’ 

[gifhimym]

[obciisio]

ROCCO:

         ‘ i don’t know about that ! could always try & convince jamie. try might be the key-word here, but hey ! i can be quite persuasive. i think it has something to do with my CHARMS & GOOD LOOKS. a little less to do with my bony ass & inability to remember what the fuck i had for breakfast. which, y’know–– despite it being the freakin’ same every day, i’m always POSITIVE there were pancakes involved. but they never are, right ? like where the hell would we get the shit to make pancakes ? man… but you’re definitely speaking my language here, hansen ! seriously; where’d you learn it ? did you take a ROCCO COMMUNICATION CLASS and didn’t tell me, huh ? shit––– who taught it though ? i bet it was prudy. she knows me too well. too fucking well i’m telling ya ! –– – so, say my WILDEST DREAMS come true & snow fucking falls from the sky –– and i can get more than just my nerdy ass best friend to join us –– you’re down? ’

‘ we could have a heat-wave orgy instead! though things would get way too sweaty and murdery and gross ---- ---- i say murdery because like i said: crimes of passion! which is less likely to happen in the winter, because things are kind of magic. unless you’re a woodland creature: grandma got run over by a reindeer, walking home from our house christmas eve !! --- --- do reindeer count as woodland creatures? ---- oh my god, rocco, if the orgy doesn’t happen, can we go REINDEER HUNTING? maybe the reindeer can use their christmas-santa-witch-ass-magic to bring us pancakes & snow! and gifts & presents & a second round of that communication class! maybe my brain just comes programmed speaking rocco-ese. let me ask: do you like maple syrup, painting, horror movies, studying cadavers and poetry? because if you do, among other things --- we might as well call ourselves best friends now, rocco, and begin our orgy-replacement-fake-moose-hunting adventures!! ----- oh yeah, of course i’m down! ’

[obciisio]

RICHIE:

       ‘ ––––– so, the answer’s NO then. what–– you just sit around, wasting your time coming up with these scenarios ? people are dying ‘round here, – dehydrated & exhausted, – you know that right ? ’ 

‘ rude much, richie-boy? --- --- people have always been dying. those starving kids in africa? never had much of a field day! i’m dehydrated & exhausted too. maybe this is my way of coping --- how dare you make fun of my coping mechanisms? i might start screaming, or crying, or blow my non-existent rape whistle. ’

[dogphood-deactivated20181210]

[obciisio]

DAVINA:

@obciisio !

‘ so, what was it like ? valdez, before the apocalypse. ’

‘ about as boring as boring comes, sugar. trust me! i thought the hellhole i lived in down south was bad, but when i moved here? i would have rather shot a bullet through my head than stay here, and it wasn’t even my newly budding teenage angst. it was just that boring. then my auntie and my uncle-y kicked it in a murder suicide, so that brought some FUN into my life --- but way too much interrogation and shitty meatloaf from the neighbors so we didn’t have to cook, you know? ’

[obciisio]

CHARLIE:

         ‘ ME? k i l l e d someone? say, does someone like me have the face of a murderer? ‘

‘ nothing accusatory, don’t sweat yourpretty little head about it. you look as innocent as innocent comes, which is why i figured it’d be FUN to ask you. usually there’s more stammering ---- you’re quite boring as far as answers go -------- though you still didn’t give me a straight one, which is nifty. ’

[obciisio]

RORY:

          ‘ i know how to use a gun that’s on me at all times — isn’t that a cuh-razy amount power? besides, you know very damn well i only let jack take care of my stitches and anything worse than just a typical cleaning. you don’t scare me, soph. so calm yourself. ’

‘ --- picky, picky, picky! put on a happy face, rory-o --- --- that wasn’t a threat! mostly. unless you keep up this bad attitude. it’s really putting a huge damper on the day. what if mr. detler dies an unfortunate and untimely death? or if my FAVORITE boss switches departments? or anything else? you’ll have to get used to someone else making sure you don’t  s u f f e r & bleed. and if you spin the wheel, check behind door number three: it isn’t a new car, it’s me!  i don’t care if i scare you, i know what i can do ---- BOO! ’

[obciisio]

RICHIE:

@obciisio said ; “ fucking a poet must be amazing. ”

         ‘ –– – do i even want to know your reasoning ? ’

‘ you’re hearing it anyway, buddy! i don’t know about you, but there’s something terribly romantic about the thought of sexing up edgar allan poe as he recites “ the raven ”. or maybe you’re into more vanilla-romancey stuff --- though everyone has neat kinks nestled deep inside them! you just have to release them, like tiny caged birds. anyway, back on track: picture this ---- you’re fucking robert frost, and all of a sudden, he starts talking about “ walking through the woods on a snowy evening ” and BAM ---- orgasm! then, whenever you read that poem, you’ll think about that time you got steamy with a famous poet. things might get hot & heavy in english class --- but it’s worth it! especially if that secret-kink is voyeurism! ’

[obciisio]

ROCCO:

@obciisio said ; “ if we’re snowed in, let’s organize an orgy for our floor. a snow floor orgy. a snoflorgy.”

         ‘ you know, there’s a drought goin… OH ! is this your way of saying never; not until hell freezes over ? fuck, that’s cold. seriously. i’m shivering, and it’s fucking 100 degrees. tell me, satan. where have you been all my life ? ’

‘ LISTEN --- as fun as orgies sound? what do you think the likelihood of us getting anyone involved is? between prudes and serial monogamists and people who swing one way instead of all around like a revolving door --- ---- the orgy would be limited to the few people  that are attracted to multiple genders and aren’t strung along by a singular penis or vagina ----- plus, can’t you see it turning into a crime of passion where someone ends up with their throat slit out of jealousy ---- but blood makes excellent lube, my friend, whether it be through menstruation or murder! makes me wonder if billy loomis would have had sex with sidney pre-movie if he had all that blood on his fingers at the START. or if any of the typical family-moves-into-the-new-town and the parents had a marriage crisis films could have been rectified if the slasher left a little blood out for daddy to woo mommy with.  ’

[obciisio]

IVANA:

@obciisio — ‘ YOU SURE YOU’RE NOT GAY ? ‘

‘ i don’t actually recall ever saying that i wasn’t. ‘

‘ of course not! it’s 2016, everyone is gay. or at least, more open about being gay. closets are too stuffy to keep anything but your clothes in! or skeletons. or bodies that could turn into skeletons ---- i don’t think anyone hauls just bones into their closet. be a little cliche, don’t you think? corpses give you the waiting game! and the need for some febreeze. ’

[braterinapetrova-blog]

[obciisio]

RORY:

“ I’m the only one who can keep you alive… And I’m the only one that can kill you… ” —— @obciisio

          ‘ i think you think pretty highly of yourself over there, soph. COCKINESS won’t help protection right now — you know that, right? ’

‘ don’t be SILLY, my pet! i simply mean that me? a first aid expert. if you ever are bleeding out on a table, i can sew you up, or gut you like a fish! isn’t that a cuh-razy amount of power? ’

[obciisio]

@complcxum ; ew another starter for pj 

‘ go on, tell me !! you ever KILLED somebody? i promise i’m no tattletale! i might even tell you a  s e c r e t  of mine. ’

[obciisio]

JOCELYN:

          ‘ he’s actually very FRIENDLY, but the heat is getting on his bad side, ’ she said as her eyes focused on the black cat that was now hiding underneath the coffee table. ‘ guess naming him after that damn britney spears song was pretty good for me – huh? i mean, drama queen brats, y’know? still quite upset my mothers wouldn’t allow me to actually name him after the queen of pop — but LUCKY works enough, i suppose. ’

‘ i had a cat once! his name was  C H A R L E S. beautiful little feline! soft fur, big eyes, tiny & gray --- --- he died, though. got hit by a car when my older sister was learning to drive ---------- she backed up funny, and  s q u i s h !! curiosity didn’t kill the cat, it was a 1998 honda c-rv driven by a blond bimbo with breast implants and a daddy kink. wish she had gotten hit by a car instead of poor little charlie. he was fun to snuggle with, she was fun to lock in a closet for three hours while i watched law & order reruns. i tried to keep him even though he was apparently through with all nine lives, but my mom found in him the shoebox in my room and got real mad ----- anyway, he been yours for long?  ’