100% accurate posts about obeski 100% of the time

run by Kantevanik

[obeskhorocycle]

DIED 2 LIVE

OBESKI IS A FUCK

>%^3 SECRI EM ALL 2031

I AM TERRIBLE LIFE

410,757,864,530 MERGE CONFLICTS

[obeskhorocycle]

ok so like have you heard about this thing called corru.observer?

yeah it's honestly a really good documentary. really well-done, handles the topic really respectfully too. it's still sort of crazy to me that the interloper had to play video games on akizet's cyst to find out the truth about the collapse but reality is oft stranger than fiction i guess

[cryptotheism]

I need you to drink a bunch of coffee on and empty stomach and get really into the idea of gardening okay. I need you to love it. Spend hours scrolling pinterest looking at beautiful gardens. Keep scrolling. Internalize their shapes, ponder their -yeah keep drinking coffee. No it's important that you not eat for this- anyway, need you to conceptualize the idea of gardening as virtuous. Yeah. Yeah I made a breakfast sandwich, you don't need to worry about that right now. You want to garden now right? You want to buy a bunch of seeds and dirt and shit, maybe some cute overalls to wear while you garden? Perfect. Buy all that shit. Yeah- yeah right now. Buy all that shit on Amazon right now I'll wait.

Okay good. Now go outside and try to garden. I need you to become rapidly disillusioned with it. Like you just don't find it enjoyable at all. The sun is too hot, or it's too cold, It takes consistency you don't really have time for, you're hungry, you don't have time to shower and make it to work, you --yeah I know gardening is hard and it's hard to do it. That needs to be your main takeaway! A sense of a nonspecific wound-- oh shit sorry, yeah I'll cover my mouth when I cough where are the fucking napkins.

Like, there's tension between the image and the praxis right? Like you just don't fuck with it that much. Yeah the sandwich is fried spam, an egg, slice of pepper jack, some pickle remoulade. Yeah the Ukrainian bakery around the corner sells ciabatta fresh every day its- actually it's not important. I need you to feel really bad that you don't like gardening, and I need you to cope with this feeling by valorizing the idea of gardening even more. Like now you see yourself as an unworthy knight who failed to live up to the expectations of your pure and righteous lady. Yeah. The modern world is an evil place preventing you from self-actualization through gardening. Don't worry about how. It is, isn't it? Like that's true, right? Yeah --okay yeah more coffee-- just like, if anyone asks you why you don't garden very much, *that's* when you get intellectual about it. Practice coming up with reasons why it's hard to garden. That shouldn't be too difficult. The clothes you bought are really cute aren't they? You should like, wear them and take selfies in them. People will love it. They'll love you.

[digidoe-art]

i don't think these pieces are stuff people will actually care about (first one is ocs second one is a niche asf webcomic) but like i have to self glaze about my colors a little. i finished both of these today and im so ao proud of myselfl ike wtf im actually a Wizard

[obeskhorocycle]

hey those first two are my envoy and their toxic yuri gfthing. What

[obeskhorocycle]

ohhh kante can you fix my personal cyst. ohhh kante can you fix the window in my room. i am a NOOSECURITY OFFICER i am trying to make sure some chucklefuck doesn't take the SPIRE down. PLEASE learn to do it yourself it isn't that hard. I Beg Of You. or go ask another engineer

[obeskhorocycle]

maybe i wouldn't have to fix it if you FED IT ANY OTHER METAL THAN COPPER ONCE IN A WHILE?? and why are you even feeding it metal?? we have sfer exactly for this reason? "i wanted to see what would happen" well what happens is that the memories you store on it become incoherent. have fun with that

[obeskhorocycle]

ohhh kante can you fix my personal cyst. ohhh kante can you fix the window in my room. i am a NOOSECURITY OFFICER i am trying to make sure some chucklefuck doesn't take the SPIRE down. PLEASE learn to do it yourself it isn't that hard. I Beg Of You. or go ask another engineer

[obeskhorocycle]

I have infiltrated the real world.

-Arovi

whatever that means? you're already real anyways.

[lacelikeheart]

based on true events ( kinda scared to tag kante because i dont know them very well and im not even sure if this is their url but um? @obeskhorocycle )

[obeskhorocycle]

i reserve the right to flashbang people who are staring creepily

[obeskhorocycle]

it's been over 10 years since its release and Hexcasting is still one of the most banger mods ever. as an obesk, Minecraft in general makes me feel like a medieval peasant having my head exploded. well, come to think of it, there's a lot of human creations that i really like. Magic: The Gathering intimidates even me! in a good way!

[obeskhorocycle]

best obesk experience? according to you?

looking up and seeing a swirling storm of a gas giant staring right back at you while surrounded by living singing trees covered in bioluminescent moss is pretty cool.

[calicotisane]

Would you like to pet me?

[calicotisane]

Thank you

[calicotisane]

PPL aren't reblogging this version so the chuzzle is generally stuck in the eternal present moment with the question unanswered. Eyeing the symbol that will never change

[obeskhorocycle]

this, too, is the sophont condition. or something

[obeskhorocycle]

Can you put apples in a lead box and just keep them there for me?

...sure?

[obeskhorocycle]

Great gaze, have a fantakuchen.

(this is coming from a bored bright cousin btw)

tja wenn es kein schwarzwälder kirschtorte ist kann man's sich auch sparen eigentlich

[shentheauthor]

Ngl Project Hail Mary may permanently affect my speech patterns. The book already got me, but hearing Rocky say “amaze amaze amaze” turned it into a vocal stim.

[obeskhorocycle]

what if i usead a pencil sharpener on my spine and used it as connector

i strongly encourage you to not do that. go read a book on neuroscience or something

[obeskhorocycle]

can humans become qou

i guess in theory we have the same brains, but in practice it'd be pretty difficult to do... you'd have to get false receptors installed, or something? unless you want to somehow spend weeks with the top of your head removed spending that time trying to figure out how to connect to corrucysts by touching them to your brain. seems infeasible... plus, false receptors don't exist and probably won't for a while, so... in practice, probably not.

[obeskhorocycle]

on holiday and somehow i have an internet connection from the surface of the moon. Okay. guess it's moonposting time