As someone who has an effectively nonexistent libido, your essay on the ace fetishist was very interesting to me. It’s fascinating to see what the other side of the spectrum experiences—I was genuinely shocked by it! The fact that people can get *HORNY* never really seems real to me, and it’s something I keep rediscovering, lol.
It was also helpful to me to read about someone else being into “concepts, not people”, because it’s a pattern I’d noticed in the sensual media I’m drawn to but hadn’t seen anyone else mention something like it. Thank you for that!
Hell yeah dude! high five! I feel the same way about people who experience *attraction to human beings* but have low libidos. Or who just generally need mutual attraction to be central to their experience of sex. Maddie @testdevice was explaining this to me the other day -- she said that for many non-asexual people, the idea of having sex with someone you are not attracted to is repulsive. It's not just neutral and "bleh," it's not I-could-take-it-or-leave-it, it is actively, viscerally off-putting. The closest that I can relate is that that's how vanilla sex often feels to me. She also mentioned that part of the appeal of "no loads refused," glory holes, and anonymous sexual encounters for many of these people is that they actively find it *degrading* to be fucked by a person they are not attracted to. whattta da hell. all news to me.
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