Ever since the final phase of this entire plan had started to actually come to fruition, Klauvis had slowly gotten a lot quieter. He had been voicing his thoughts much less frequently, and had found himself a lot less distracted and easily drawn away from the tasks at hand - and in the event he ever had to wait for something, he did something he almost never did before.
He would actually sit down and wait.
It was clear as day that he was almost constantly thinking about the outcomes of this entire plan. If it would even work. How it could even work. Most importantly, what would he even do when he got back? This last point, though the most prevalent in his mind, was the one he never voiced to Malva. The one he was thinking about when he was being truly silent.
Now, after so many repeated trips back and forth to get all this equipment up here, it was finally ready. They had established an airtight dome up against the wall of a particularly steep crater for the portal itself where Klauvis had been for most of this setup, and a single large, rectangular device that was apparently some kind of power converter well above, though it looked a stone’s throw away from collapsing if they were under anything more than the moon’s low gravity.
For a moment, it seemed like their communicators had broken again. Klauvis was an Occult Scientist, not a radio engineer, so they had been having problems with this in the past. Yet checking the device itself, it seemed to be functioning properly.
Klauvis just wasn’t responding.
Malva, still on the outside of the dome, tapped her commlink.
“ Klauvis.. I know you’re there.. How are you feeling?”
Malva’s habit to inquire those around her of their emotional state was one often done out of habit. Even around strangers, she was prone to considering their mental wellfare. Something that was less often done out of selflessness than you would think.
But with that said, what did she think of Klauvis by now? How much did she actually care about him beyond that mutual feeling of wanting to go home? If someone had asked her if she cared about the guy, she would at first think to say no, but then stay silent.
Having spent so much time around Klauvis and spent so much effort for his sake, it was hard for her to completely dismiss him.
“.. I know you probably don’t want to talk about whatever you’re worried about, but atleast don’t leave me hanging out here…”
The machines were off. Everything was only to be activated until they were completely ready. That is, Malva was ready, and Klauvis had more than enough time to set things up.
Her voice coming through the commlink was the only sound in the dome as Klauvis sat infront of the monitor, eyes staring blankly at the screen. He had taken off the communicator a while ago, its dim green link blinking away on the desk. He could hear every word she said. He just couldn’t respond.
He didn’t have it in him.
A long line of code sprawled down the monitor. Power levels, stabilization readings, energy loss. But at the very bottom. A coordinate reading, awaiting his input. Every time he had enter these coordinates in the thousands of attempts at returning home, he had always failed by one factor or another. Every time, the methods were vastly different and the setup often ludicrous, except the coordinates. The coordinates to his old lab. The coordinates never changed. He didn’t dare type them in.
He didn’t have it in him.
But not just to potentially fail. To succeed terrified him. He had given up so long ago that he couldn’t remember when he last tried. It had been longer, still, since he had last thought about what he would even do when he would get back. What might happen. He couldn’t bare the thought that it might not be all he had hoped. That he might not be the person he once was. That he might not even be right for that world anymore.
He didn’t have it in him.
From outside the dome, their makeshift airlock drew open, and a black shape emerged, before taking off into the distance, towards the largest of the craters.
He didn’t have any of this in him.
