He smiled, cracking a grin, âYeah, Woodhouse has saved more lives than anyone else I know,â He said, teasingly, although he wasnât sure that he was wrong, there. âNo one ever appreciates him though,â He found himself saying. His entire family treated Woodhouse like he was just another thing that they owned. In a strange way, Ian mused, he supposed he was. Did Woodhouse have a life outside of their family at all? Did he want one?
âBut you did,â He found himself, saying. The Connors has been appalled at Lexâs treatment of their bulter. Theyâd been the only people to ever look at him and see a person. He remembered one time when Natalie cleaned up a spill before Woodhouse got to it.
He hadnât meant for the conversation to be serious. Heâd spoken to her so softly, so sincerely that he could have almost told her that he had loved her in the same breath. In a way, he supposed, he had. The way she treated everyone with kindness and respect was one of the first things that he had fallen in love with. She saw the best in everyone, she wanted the best for everyone and no one escaped her notice.
âHeâs doing well,â Ian replied when she asked after Woodhouse, crossing his arms, âHe isnât showing any signs of slowing down ⊠although he probably should.â Ian still had no idea how old Woodhouse was, but he imagined that he was long overdo for retirement, if he wanted it. âIt is amazing how he can keep up with my brother. I canât even do that either, half the time.â
He laughed, âActually, I do know my way around my own house,â He said, âAlthough, invention: definitely. I didnât always. I spent the first summer I moved here getting lost and making maps of the place. It was kinda fun, actually. And probably even a little dangerous. I never did bother to bring supplies like food in case I got really lost.â He never did though. Woodhouse always found him moments before he started to get hungry or tired. He would never understand Woodhouseâs inhuman ability to detect what he and Lex needed before they did.
âNo Minotaurs in the center, but you might find Lex,â He said, teasingly. âAs for who designed this place ⊠I donât know, exactly, but I know that my mother hired someone prestigious to design it. The word on the street is that he didnât like working with her and that he made it impossible to navigate to get back at her.â He remembered Lex laughing, telling him this story on their first night here. He said it was unfortunate that this house was for Ian and not their mother, but that didnât make the fact that the architect had designed this house with the intention of getting Kitty Porter hopelessly lost in the house that she had asked for.
âYeah, I kinda hope he does buy it,â Ian said, absentmindedly placing a hand affectionately onto one of the walls. âIâve had a lot of good memories here,â He added, âI know it shouldnât matter who buys it, but it does.â He had thought that it would be hard for that to happen. No one would want this house unless to say that it had once belonged to the Porters. Anyway with any real sense would turn their nose up at it. It was large and luxurious, but it was far from practical.
He nodded when she voiced her concerns about Seth, âI donât think youâll have to worry about that, Nat,â He said, softly. He knew that if the Connorsâ lives ever took them away from here, that the remaining siblings would be supportive and encouraging, but he didnât see that happening at all. They were all so close: the three of them. They had been all theyâd ever had for so long, âBut if he ever does move away, heâll keep in touch. I know he would. He loves you and Val too much to let that happen.â If there was one thing that he and Natalieâs lives had in common, it was a deep, unmovable love for their siblings. Whatever happened to Ian; whatever happened to Natalie, theyâd always have their siblings. Theyâd always have someone and that was a comfort. But Ian was no stranger to worry. He worried for Lex more than he ever worried for himself. He knew as long as Lex was alive, heâd have him, but sometimes he worried how long that would be. Lex had always been self-destructive. How long before he did something that he couldnât come back from?
And then Ian knew, he would truly be alone.
He was surprised (although moments later he realized that he probably shouldnât have been) when she told him that Jeff and Bambi were expecting, âOh wow thatâs âŠ. congratulations, I guess, I mean âŠ. thatâs really ⊠awkward ⊠â He managed a laugh, âBut hey, if they are happy ⊠good for them.â
He noticed the way her face had fallen when heâd told her that he was moving to New York. He knew that she was disappointed in him and it hurt. Sheâd always been the one to encourage him to do more with his life than follow in his fatherâs footsteps, but if he didnât, then Lex would have to and he didnât want that for his brother. He had already been forced to do the one thing that Ian would never do: marry someone he didnât love. In his book, Lex had gotten the short end of the deal. He would had given up everything once to be with her though, but she hadnât wanted him and the life that theyâd once planned for him couldnât exist without her by his side.
He exhaled, trying to hide that anything was wrong. âIâll be in the city, mostly,â He explained. âI mean, thereâs a couple of country houses out that way for weekends, but ⊠yeah, the city mostly.â Sheâd commented about how far away it was, to her. She was only a few hours away by private jet ⊠but that wasnât a trip he was planning to make and he hadnât had to say anything for her to know that.
He laughed, âYeah, yeah itâs the same Lex. I mean, as far as I know. It surprised me, too, but ⊠â But in the end, they were all Porters and this was the Porter way. Even Lex would become the thing he hated most; the thing heâd rebelled against. â⊠but heâs doing it.â She mentioned Lex getting his happily ever after, but Ian knew that this wasnât that. It was the furthest thing from that. It wasnât buying him happiness, it was buying off more unhappiness. His marriage to Nicole meant he could keep his money: it meant he wouldnât lose everything. Heâd already lost Valerie; he couldnât lose this, too. But Ian didnât say anything else. Telling her that he wasnât happy would mean heâd have to tell her why and he didnât want to. Heâd learned by now not to get involved in Lex and Valerieâs relationship. It had cost them all a lot last time. But he didnât want to lie to her, so he said nothing more at all.
âItâs so tragic when true humanitarians arenât recognized in their own time,â responded Natalie, lightly. Â Smiling up at him, she thought of when things had been kinder. Â Theyâd been so very easy together, once, and she feared theyâd missed the chance to ever reclaim that, now. Â The thought left her feeling strangely hollow. Â Sheâd always been someone who wanted to make things better and she felt somehow as though she were failing him.
He spoke again. Â His voice was soft, it was earnest, as though they were completely alone and Natalie raised her brow eyes to his blue ones and settled there for a moment. Â There was something in his tone, something in his eyes, that she hadnât seen or heard for a very long time. Â Something brought their first meeting rushing back: two people seeking solace in a library while - probably Jay-Z - roared outside the paneled door. Â Natalie didnât know how many hours theyâd talked like that, but she didnât care to. Â Reality hadnât intruded until much later. Â Sheâd thought, then, how very glad she was to find another likeminded soul in such a place. Â She hadnât even minded so much when she found, later, that Max had picked up another girl and stranded her there. Â This isnât the worst place to be left, sheâd thought. Â It was proving considerably harder to leave.
âWell,â she said, finally, looking away with a small shrug. Â âWoodhouse will always be my first experience of a butler,â she responded, putting a hand over her heart with a small chuckle. Â And youâll always be my first love, she thought, glancing away. Â But she had James and he had Sophia, and theyâd probably never see each other again. Â That chapter was closed.
Ian went on to speak about Woodhouseâs health and Natalie chuckled softly. Â âThat is a real gift. Â I donât think anyone else could possibly manage it, honestly.â Â In truth, Natalie had often felt quite sorry for Woodhouse. Â He treated Lex like a king and Lex treated him like dirt. Â In all honesty, Natalie couldnât think why he put up with it, but she wasnât about to say that. Â She had plenty of bad things to say about Lex, but she wouldnât say those things to Ian because the last thing she wanted was to hurt Ian...again. Â She knew now that she had hurt him before, although sheâd never meant to, and she knew sheâd always regret never being able to put it to rights.
âWell look at you,â teased Natalie. Â âI think that ranks you an Olympic gold medal in orienteering, right there. Â I can guarantee you no one else around here can say the same...Well, except Woodhouse but I think weâve already established Woodhouse is the exception to most rules,â she chuckled. Â âDefinitely a little dangerous! Â Living on the edge! Â You realize we may never have seen you again quite easily.â Â It was only a partial tease, given the fate of some of Lexâs more unfortunate dates.
Natalie laughed when he said one might find Lex at the center. Â âFerocious, indeed!â Â Her smile was slightly sardonic but she shook her head as she found herself comparing and contrasting the two. Â At least Lex isnât a cannibal, she thought with a flash of sarcasm. Â Shaking her head as though to dispel the thoughts. Â âOh no!â she exclaimed, clapping a hand over her mouth as she laughed. Â Natalieâs own experiences working for (or at least under her, as sheâd been working for the Sheraton) Kitty Porter had been harrowing, indeed, and she could appreciate the impetus for such a decision. Â âI canât imagine your mother getting lost. Â I canât imagine it would be pretty, though.â
Her smile was sympathetic. Â âOf course it matters,â she said, encouragingly. Â âThis is your home.â Â In many ways, she knew, more so than any mammoth manor his family may own in much more exciting and exotic locations across the world. Â âYou want to make sure itâs taken care of. Â Thatâs not silly.â Â She didnât imagine that was something any of the members of his family would have agreed with, but that in no way made it less true. Â People were supposed to take care of the things they loved, even if they were leaving those things behind. Â For all the exultant houses Edmund Porter IV owned, Natalie wondered with some sadness if he had ever loved a single one.
âYouâre right, of course,â she responded softly, nodding. Â It didnât stop her from worrying - she would always worry - but it was reassuring to hear him say it out loud. Â âI need to trust more,â she added, nodding. Â It was true. Â Whether by some miracle or out of sheer will to survive, Seth had survived this long. Â Even if he moved away, heâd make it through. Â It was difficult for Natalie to let go, and she acknowledged this. Â Once, she had been almost a mother to Seth. Â It had been a lot on her shoulders, but Natalie had never really minded. Â Now, she almost missed the pressure. Â She sometimes felt useless without it.
Ian finished talking. Â There was something bittersweet in his smile and something in his eyes she knew was sadness. Â Reaching out, she put a hand on his arm. Â âHey. Â You ok?â
Despite everything, she laughed as Ian fumbled for a reaction. Â âYou sound like me when I heard,â she teased. Â âItâs true,â she added, nodding. Â She truly did want them to be happy...but the existence of these new children meant their family would forever be...families. Â Plural. Â Altered. Â If Natalieâs parents got together again, as sheâd always wanted, it would mean ripping her half-siblingsâ parents apart. Â Natalie didnât want that, either. Â âItâs just...Iâm adjusting. Â But I am excited to have new little siblings.â Â That much was certainly true. Â Whatever else may be, Natalie already knew she would love them with every fiber of her being. Â âI canât wait to meet them.â Â She smiled softly. Â âYou wouldnât know this, being the baby of the family, but thereâs nothing like being a big sibling. Â Nothing. Â It can definitely be stressful but...â she shrugged. Â âItâs more than worth it. Â Itâs wonderful.â
âWell that sounds,â she tried to think of something positive to say. Â âLike a very fast-paced lifestyle. Â Exciting!â she tried to look enthusiastic but she certainly didnât feel it. Â Natalie bit her lip, trying to find something more sincere to say. Â âI bet your familyâs very proud,â she added. Â âThat must feel good.â Â
Natalie could sympathize. Â Afterall, she had, on occasion, done things for no other reason than that she thought her parents might be proud of her. Â The Porters seemed to be a colder bunch than Natalieâs parents, but she still knew something this big - a son actually embracing their legacy - would engender pride at least. Â There would probably be at least one stiff gala in celebration. Â But for all that, she wondered if his parents would even show him their pride in him. Â Ian deserved more than that and, not for the first time in her life, she found herself growing angry at his parents. Â Exhaling, she shunted this thought process aside. Â âI know theyâre proud,â she said, and this time she was completely genuine. Â It was what theyâd always wanted.
âI donât think anyone could have possibly predicted that,â responded Natalie, injecting her voice with levity. Â âProbably not even Lex himself.â Â If Natalie knew one thing about Lex, it was that. Â He cut himself off and Natalie nodded. Â That poor girlâs definitely pregnant, she thought. Â She tried to picture Lex as a father. Â She failed. Â âSo has he roped you into the wedding proceedings, yet?â