love is blindness

oh here she comes watch out boy she'll chew you up oh here she comes she's a maneater

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

Like Real People Do | Harricole

[oceanfrontharry]

A smile gilded Harry’s lips as he chuckled.  “How could I leave out my favorite part?” he responded, eyes twinkling.  “I can’t imagine why he’d say so as though it were a bad thing.  I anticipate my sordid future with nothing short of glee.”  It was a lie.  Oh, Harry could bask in any earthly pleasure, and would, but the future was to him an executioner’s axe which hovered with cruel judgement just above him.  He could feel the whisper of its breath already upon his skin any time he thought of what would await him.  He suppressed the shiver that ran its death-cool finger down his spine.  “You must,” he said softly, but there was something of desperation of his tone, even as he tried to smile with some glib fondness.  “You must join me.”  The contemplation of a life without her would be his ruin.

He rolled his eyes away from her.  “Why, sis, I think we both know that my opinion has little bearing on the question.  It’s your father’s will that really matters, as always.”  He closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun on his skin as a form of comfort.  “I feel confident he will have much to say on the subject.”  He turned to look at her.  “Don’t worry, Nic, I mean to shame him publicly as much as possible for the rest of my life.  I can’t think of a better opportunity, can you?”  

Yet, he could feel her anxiety rolling off her in waves.  Anxiety and…something else.  He knew good and well that his petty jabs would do nothing to bring anyone any real comfort, but it was the only weapon he had, and he’d be striking at the heart of the beast for the both of them.  Taking one of her hands, he folded it into his and drew it to his lips.  Her fingers were warm and, giving her hand a small squeeze, he placed it over his heart.  Harry said nothing for a moment, letting the small gesture say what it could.  They would both need this, he thought, to think back on.  Little moments took on lives of their own, particularly when he was looking into her fathomless eyes.  

Breaking the eye contact, he gentled his grip on her hand before releasing it and sitting upright.  His laughter was joyless.  “Rich and hopelessly stupid, wonderful.”  He arched a brow at her.  “I could get away with almost anything.  Whatever should I try, sister?” he asked, indigo eyes fixed on her own as though she were oxygen and he were a drowning man.  He felt her anger, the little jabs, but he looked past them to see what was in her heart.  He felt the twisting pangs in her heart as his own, for they had twins in his.  He lied back again.

As the conversation turned back to whether she’d want him as a stranger, he allowed himself the ghost of a smile, yet there was something dark in his eyes as though he were a flame left in a draft, flickering and faltering.  She hovered above him, suspended as though by some breeze.  Harry half believed that the god Zephyrus loved her and meant to steal her away on her wedding night to his fortress amongst the clouds where the sun’s radiance might be eclipsed by the heat of her eyes.  Her hands were on his face, then, commanding his gaze: tender, yet an authority he didn’t dare question.  Her eyes were a maelstrom and he was a sailor clinging to life beneath the storm.  He knew he ought to surrender, drink deep of the cup she offered, but life was all he’d ever known and he clung to it with a fool’s desperation.  

She spoke of the game and Harry smiled.  “Go on, Nic,” he responded, voice oddly thick.  “Toy with my heart.  I wouldn’t blame you, you know,” he added.  “You know I play games, too, and I fear I’d enjoy playing any game with you far too much to reason.  I expect you’d have me begging for mercy before you were finished.”  He smiled.  “Good.  Someone has to teach me a lesson.”

Harry chuckled, after she’d moved away from him and spoke of her desire to be more indecent.  “I can’t promise you much, sis, but you can always count on that.  They’d talk of little else for months, between the two of us.”

As she sobered, so did he.  He watched her face shift, the little traces of regret in the cool orbs.  “You don’t need to defy him, sis,” he said, softly.  “That’s what you have me for, isn’t it?  You know what happens when…”  Harry could misstep - and often did - because Frederick was not overfond of the notion of going toe-to-toe with him, now.  Nicole lacked that luxury.  “Besides, your husband-to-be will knock enough shame into him for you, when he appears.”  

Harry hoped he didn’t have much in common with Lex Porter, but there was that.  They both would have been reprobates, were it not for the cash in their pockets.  Lex had no regard for Frederick’s feelings and appeared to enjoy flaunting them.  Harry did enjoy, himself, the notion of Frederick willingly chaining his family name to a man who would forever humiliate him.  It was Lex’s one virtue.  Of course, Frederick would no doubt ultimately hold Nicole accountable for Lex’s conduct, since Frederick could hold no sway over Lex and could do so over Nicole, which made the whole affair all the more lamentable, but at least Nicole would be safe in Lex’s house.  Harry envied him that: the ability to take Nicole away from it all, keep her safe.

“Don’t say that, sis,” he added, softly.  There was comfort in his voice and in his eyes, though he didn’t truly know how to assuage her anguish.  It was his own.  “You’ve only a little time left before you can go anywhere in the world to escape him.  Your husband will not forbid you that.”  That much, at least, could be said for him.

As she spoke further, Harry sat up and pulled off the sunglasses she’d put back on him, so that he could look her in the eye.  Impulsively, he touched her face with his left hand, brushing unruly curls away with the other.  “Don’t imagine you can shake me loose so easily, sis.  His left hand diverted from its course, moving to gently rest just beneath her breast where he could feel the pulse of her heart.  “It’s as we’ve always promised one another.  I’ll always be here.  Besides,” he added, softly.  “We both know, deep down, that you’re the brave one.  You won’t need me anymore once you’re free of him.  All you’ll need is here,” he added, applying the softest pressure to her chest.

His eyes were fixed on hers, indigo matched with cerulean, and his breathing felt a heavy charge.  Her heart beat against her ribs, against his hand, her breath stirred her golden locks.  Neither moved for a prolonged moment before Harry slipped his sunglasses back on and reverted to his earlier pose, turning his face back towards the still waters of the pool.

Harry’s lips twitched into a smile when she said she’d need not bend for him.  “I don’t play by any rules, anyway, sis,” he responded, teasingly.  “So you’d never have to break them for me, in that way, would you?”  Yet, that wasn’t entirely true either.  He had one rule, and it kept them apart.

Pouring a neat glob of suntan lotion into his hand, Harry smirked softly.  “Of course,” he responded, promptly.  “I wouldn’t dream of letting you bake.”  He watched as he pulled down the straps to reveal bear shoulders.  “You ready?” he asked.  “It’s cold.”

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

A bright laugh poured over Nicole’s lips as well at Harry’s mirth.  “That’s what I was wondering myself, actually.” She teased back, tilting her head to the side and pulling her lips into a smile brighter than the sun. “And here I had thought you were the jester king of VA Beach! I was about to be very disappointed if you somehow became discontent with the thought of living your life free of sin.” And yet, when Harry looked up at her and insisted that she join him, something tugged desperately in her chest.

“Then I will.” She said quietly, the back of her fingers gently brushing against his cheek. “I’ll join you and we’ll become the most terrifyingly indecent pair this place has ever seen. We’ll humiliate Father at every turn with our games. Make him regret ever thinking he could control us. It’ll be heaven…” Her gaze was as soft as her fingers, touch coming to rest upon his lips for a brief moment before she pulled her hand away once more and couching her darkest jealousies in more half-hearted jokes. “After all, even a jester king needs a queen, and as I’ve already said, you have a very poor selection to choose from here. Frederick will make sure that you’ll only have the dregs to pick from…”

Yet Nicole could barely keep the hatred flickering in her chest as Harry took one of her clenched hands into his own. His lips brushing against her knuckles sent a flash of lightning bolting up her arm and electrocuting her very heart. A flush colored her cheeks, a soft breath fell from her lips, and suddenly she was trapped in his gaze as he pressed her hand over his heart.

“Sad little clowns by the dozens…” She continued, voice quiet as she gazed back down at him, fingers brushing back and forth in soft circles against his chest, wondering if she would have ever been allowed to parade amongst them as well. “Makeup caked upon their faces in constant frowns. Who will make you laugh, then? How will they ever manage it?” The moment passed just as quickly as it had come as Harry released her hand and shifted his weight further from her. The unrelenting slate cliffs of their impending futures rising between them once more as he bitterly laughed at the futility of it all.

Nicole knew she could not admit to the moment of hope that passed through her, though, as his eye caught her own when he asked her what he should attempt to get away with after being shackled to his own golden ox.

“I suppose you could try and get away with the same things I’ll try… Slip out under the cover of the dark to meet someone who can make you smile. Someone who will make the joke your life has become somehow funny again.” Her gaze was steady as she looked back at him, wondering if he knew she meant herself. That it was what she hoped he wanted in this fetid wasteland of a life they’d been thrust into.

Because dear God, what the hell would she ever do without him? She’d waste away in that lonely mansion all by herself. After all, it wasn’t like Lex would stick around. She knew him. He was like her. Not a monster, but neither of them loved each other and they both knew it. Harry, Lex, Nicole… All three of them were trapped inside the swirling maw of Charybdis, and Nicole feared that they would never be released. At least not until they had been properly crushed to pieces.

So instead she let out a small sigh and leaned upon Harry gently, blue gaze heady and dark as her fingers traced his jaw now instead, while he urged her to take his heart for her own personal chew toy. His stare was a heady thing. If she didn’t know better, she’d call it rapturous. That if she were only brave enough perhaps this moment would bring her all the things she’d ever wanted.

“I don’t think you’d like the kind of games I play, Harry.” She said with a sad smile as she brushed dark strands of hair from his forehead and sat up. Nicole was many things, but brave was not one of them. “Yours and mine are too similar. We’d end up battling each other and the prizes we’d wish to claim are very, very different.” Nicole’s voice was quiet but her stare was pointed as she looked down at Harry for but a moment before looking away. “You might be right that in the end I would have you begging for mercy, but I don’t think there are any lessons I could teach you that I don’t need to be taught myself.”

Though perhaps I should take a lesson from you on self-control… The thought echoed quietly in the back of her mind and Nicole brushed it away with a shake of her head.

Nicole let out a soft chuckle as Harry once again donned his tin armor and raised his shield in her defense. That’s what you have me for… He said. She reached behind her blindly to take his hand, gentle fingers wrapping around his own. “That is true… I know very well what happens when I decide to rattle the lion’s cage without a knight at hand.” For a moment or two she sat like that, holding his hand tightly as she stared out at the sea. “But I can so easily see a future in which the path you are forced upon sends you so far away from me. And yes, perhaps Lex hates Father as much as we both do. But he doesn’t…” Nicole took a deep breath and looked back at Harry, something almost like fear echoing in her eyes.

“Lex doesn’t know, Harry. He hasn’t seen my…” She swallowed heavily and released Harry’s hand to press her own against her mouth to stifle a small sob that threatened to echo from deep inside her. “I-I’ve always kept the lights off. He’s not supposed to know. I’m not allowed to let him see until everything is over and it’s too late to turn back.” Nicole’s hand fell back in her lap, feeling them tremble ever so slightly as she stared down at them. “If he does know, he hadn’t said a word. Perhaps he doesn’t even care. I wouldn’t be surprised. This isn’t any sort of fairy tale romance for Lex either…” She let out a dark laugh and shook her head once more. “He hates Frederick and wants to humiliate him for his own reasons but… I don’t think he’ll ever understand the same way you do, Harry.”

Nicole sat silent for a little while longer, letting Harry’s comforting words wash over her even as she wanted to laugh at them, to curl her hands into fists and punch at the palm trees that swayed behind them until her knuckles were as raw and bloody as Harry’s had ever been.

“I don’t want to run away.” Nicole said finally. “I know I could escape Frederick and run as far as the world could take me the minute I say ‘I do.’ But, if I did that…” She swallowed tightly. “I don’t think I’d ever see you again, and that is something I just can’t survive, Harry.” The tears she had been holding back slowly began to roll down her cheeks. Her jaw was still set in a harsh line, trying so hard to maintain her composure. After all, there were still servants milling about fifty yards away as they continued to clean up the remains of the party and it would cause quite a scene if someone were to ask questions.

Yet the moment Nicole felt Harry’s hand come to cup her cheek, the other carding gentle fingers through her hair, the quietest sob fell from her lips—barely more than a whimper. One of her trembling hands came up to press against his right, fingers curling against his own as they tangled in her golden curls.

“I will always need you, Harry.” She managed to croak out, red-rimmed eyes locked on his face and her cheek leaning into his touch.

So many other words formed on the tip of her tongue. Diatribes of how she knows that he shall always live in her heart, but how could she survive not being able to speak with him every day? Who would watch over her? Who would she run to in the night when the terrors returned? And most importantly—who would take care of him?

But all these words were lost to the wind as she felt his hand trailing along her body. His nimble fingertips brushing against the sensitive flesh of her side exposed by the pieces cut out of her swimsuit and trailing along her curves to rest just below…

She couldn’t breathe.

Nicole knew distantly that she must be breathing for somehow her heart had not stopped and yet the fact remained:

She could not breathe.

How could she when her world had so quickly shrunk to the square footage of a toaster oven?

How could the entire universe contain enough oxygen to keep her alive when the feeling of Harry’s hand pressing so gently against her ribcage, fingers ghosting against the underside of her breast, was enough to make it feel like she were drowning in the infinite pools of his eyes?

Like a twin pair of vipers her hands snapped out to pull him closer, manicured nails digging into the back of his neck with her desperation.

Hungrily she pressed her lips against his own and devoured him with her kiss. Here was the oxygen she so desperately craved. He was breathing life back into her lungs as their mouths slanted and molded together.

Harry’s arms wrapped around her waist as he turned them both so that Nicole’s back was pressed against the chair. Her fingers scratched down his chest before scrambling at the hem of his shorts…

Yet the vision faded as quickly as it came. Harry’s hand had fallen away—as always—and Nicole could breathe once again.

Somehow she felt like the oxygen wasn’t much of a consolation prize.

For a moment or two she sat there still, fearing she would give in to the base desires of her vision if she allowed herself as much as an iota of movement. Blood was still rushing through her ears. Or was that the waves crashing behind them? It was so hard to tell.

And yet, distantly she knew Harry was speaking to her. That he was asking her questions. That he was waiting for a response. Nicole was terrified to open her mouth. She was so certain that nothing would come out except a scream. And even more so she was certain that if she began, she would never stop.

There was no world in which she would ever be able to have Harry. Nicole had known this from the very beginning. And yet still she tortured herself every waking moment in the wanting of him. The desperate cloying need of him that she also knew would never end until the day she left this earth.

She loved him. She loved him more than anything this world could ever offer her. And for a split second, Nicole had been certain that she had seen a spark in his eye that spoke of the same unending pit of desire.

But he had pulled away. He had leaned back against the chair and left Nicole uncertain if she had seen what she thought she’d seen or if… perhaps…

“Of course.” She said finally, voice thick and contained. Nicole cleared her throat and turned her back towards Harry as she pulled at her suit straps, closing her eyes once more. Anything to attempt to maintain the composure she so easily lost the moment Harry’s hand had trailed along her side and come to rest against her ribs. “Rules are for suckers and poor people.” Nicole quoted her father, tone glib and quiet. “So why would we ever play by them, hmm?” She attempted to smile but the effort fell short. Her voice became tainted at the edges in bitterness and as she opened her eyes the cerulean depths were fringed with frost. “Though sometimes I have the feeling that it’s we who have far more rules we force ourselves to follow than anyone else.”

A few tense moments of silence later Nicole nodded over her bare shoulders at Harry. “Go ahead. It’s fine. I don’t mind the cold. Besides, haven’t you heard? I’m made of marble. Stone doesn’t feel anything. You don’t need to worry about chilling me.” Her lips twisted into another mockery of a flirtatious smile. Her fingers curled around the edge of the chair, turning her knuckles whiter than the tile beneath her feet. “Then again, even if you did somehow manage it, I suppose I’d then just have to find someone to warm me back up again, right? Shouldn’t be a terribly hard task…”

[captsdoubt]

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

Like Real People Do | Harricole

[oceanfrontharry]

Harry’s swim trunks were red with gold and blue stripes at the edges and, though simple as that, cost a small fortune.  He had expensive taste, but in truth part of why he always dressed so well was the derisive glee he took from charging Frederick Ackerman for each purchase.  Frederick would sign the check because he would never be seen to be ‘too poor’ to pay for any extravagance and Harry was determined to make the most of this fact.

As he emerged from the pool, streaming with water, the sun felt gloriously warm on his tanned body.  Reaching for his sunglasses, he sank into Nicole’s chair, knowing she’d return there.  Like a kitten or an abandoned dog, it was his habit to occupy the space Nicole would be most likely to return to and, in truth, he knew her habits enough to have no doubts that her first stop would be the pool - aside from the fact that it was near enough that he could wink at any wandering young women and listen to voices float out to him.  In truth, even when he wasn’t crashing parties properly, he enjoyed keeping an ear or eye out and teasing the ladies in his own way.

He could tell that the party was running to a close, and did his best to appear utterly apathetic to the fact.  He knew when Nicole was on his way, closing his eyes in a kind of patient calm as she approached.  As the gate opened, he quirked a brow towards her, smirking softly when she spoke to him.

“I’m hopelessly incapable of learning, sis.  I thought you knew that.”  Frederick had just informed Harry of this the other day over a rather heated dinner discussion and Harry’s reaction, as ever, was to poke fun at it.

“Please,” retorted Harry with a small chuckle.  “I prefer to ogle the ladies from afar than actually attend such boorish affairs.  Besides, I’d say I put myself at an advantage, here,” he added, smirking.  “Afterall, I expect once you’re settled, it’ll be my job to reel in some unsuspecting heiress and do my utmost to deplete her trust fund.”  

As she plucked his sunglasses, he turned away from the sun, looking towards her.  “What about you, Nic?  If I were a stranger, would I catch your eye?”  Harry was many things - both good and bad - but one of his traits was certainly vanity.  He knew he was attractive, dark and handsome, stretched out like a lion in the sun, tan skin glistening with water, tall and muscular in only swim trunks and, until recently, his $800 sunglasses.  Some part of him also knew that Nicole had been appreciating the view and he couldn’t help but push her buttons.  It was fair, wasn’t it?  Her with her beau who rather resembled Harry in all but his infinity of possibilities, and Harry trapped in a future outside his own control.  He couldn’t have peace, but he could at least tease Nicole.

Harry chuckled softly.  “It would have been a much more indecent affair if I’d been there,” he admitted, turning back to the pool with eyes closed and a lazy smile.  “But much more memorable.”  Harry was trouble and he considered that to be one of his virtues, particularly as if made Frederick Ackerman rueful.  Though Harry on one hand craved acceptance, he also reveled in humiliating Frederick and took pride in knowing that Frederick rued the day he’d adopted him.  He knew Frederick on occasion wished he’d made a West of Harry, but Frederick also despised the connection with that scandalous name too much.  Harry enjoyed knowing this.  Frederick’s discomfiture was the only weapon he had left.

“It does seem you dressed for it,” acknowledged Harry, eyes trailing her frame.  She’d donned a one-piece as usual (she feared too much the exposure of scars to daylight), but had unsurprisingly selected one which hugged all her curves, complimenting her figure in a most pleasing fashion.  The color, too, brought out the blush of her cheeks and the sparkle in her blue eyes.  “Though I thought it was a shame to leave the dress to languish out there,” he added, cocking an eyebrow towards her.  “But maybe it was an illusion of beauty.  You have a way of making everything sparkle.”  

He was glad she had left behind the socialites and Porter-relations.  They didn’t have a hold on her that counted and her company had been most lacking this whole afternoon.  He’d known that the poolside was an approved recreation for the Ackerman heiress, which had been an allure in-and-of itself.  But she was here, now, and not with Porters.  Reaching out to the little table beside him, he picked up a bottle of suntan lotion, waggling it in front of her.  “Have a care, Miss Ackerman,” he said, slowly.  “What would your dearly beloved say if his crowning jewel were to burn?”

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

In a way, it pleased Nicole to know Harry had been waiting for her. Of course, he’d lain in her chair with a look of apathy that would certainly have fooled a layman’s eye. But she knew better. She knew every inch of her brother’s soul – and had dreamed of every inch of his body more times than society would allow her to admit—and so it took no more than a glance to confirm her suspicions.

And a shiver of pleasure ran down her back knowing that part of him was still hers.

“Ah, yes… I had heard such a rumor.” She teased back as she brushed golden locks away from her face and rolled her eyes behind the Ray-Bans she’d recently acquired. “What was it? Hopelessly incapable of learning and… destined to live a life of debauchery and sin.” A gentle grin crossed Nicole’s lips. “Sounds like a good time, actually. Mind if I join you?”

The question was said jokingly, but if Nicole was honest with herself—it was everything she ever wanted. A life far away from this place with no one but Harry at her side. Perhaps only trouble would follow them and perhaps they’d be knee-deep in the mire of sin, but at that moment, as she gazed down into his beautiful face, Nicole knew she’d fling herself into the pits of hell for him if he asked.

She was shaken from her thoughts, though, at his teasing of what his life would become after her impending marriage.

It’ll be my job to reel in some unsuspecting heiress and do my utmost to deplete her trust fund.

Instantaneously Nicole’s hands clenched into fists. One bunching in the fabric of the chair next to Harry’s head, the other driving perfectly manicured nails into the flesh of her thigh.

“I suppose that is true.” Her voice was low and carefully controlled. Nicole’s jaw clenched tightly for a moment as she swallowed and looked away from her brother. “And, certainly, I’m sure you won’t lack for options. A few of the girls at the party were asking after you… All of them idiots and not worth your time, but they all have more than enough money to spare if that’s what really matters to you.”

The words spat out of her like poisoned darts. It wrung her heart to think of Harry with any of them. She couldn’t breathe when the realization that it was a fate not to be avoided pressed upon her lungs. It was his job to marry one of those floozies and spend their money and rub the nose of her father in his success. Hers was to marry her American prince and fade away into oblivion.

Still Nicole found she would rather the sin than nothingness.

So when Harry asked her—so casually, of course, as if it were not the stuff of her dreams—if he would catch her eye were he a stranger, Nicole nearly laughed at the absurdity of the question. As if he didn’t know. As if she had not embarrassed herself enough the way she threw herself at him every time he was allowed to return to her presence.

“Of course you would…” She said truthfully. Her hands slowly unclenched, voice quiet, careful not to say the words he didn’t want to hear. Nicole knew this too. Knew the line he did not want her to cross. Whether because he did not feel the same and merely liked to torture her or because he did and could not bear to think of the consequences if it were admitted aloud… Nicole knew better than to speak her true feelings to him.

“You would catch my eye. Though I doubt I’d let you know it straight away.” Nicole forced a grin, then, trying to couch this in terms of a game—of teasing. They could talk this way if it meant nothing. She leaned closer to Harry, nearly laying atop of him as she lowered his sunglasses upon her nose and turned his head so he would look at her. “I’d make you want me first. I’d make you come to me. That’s how the game works. Or, at least, how it’s supposed to work. Perhaps, in your case, I might have made an exception, being as handsome as you are.” She winked at him once, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before sitting up once more and stretching languidly as the sun hit her face.

A gentle laugh bubbled forth from her lips as Harry admitted that perhaps inviting him to her afternoon tea would not have been the best idea. “And what if I had wanted things to be a bit more indecent, hmm?” She lifted an eyebrow in his direction. “I’m getting tired of being so prim and proper for all these society grannies. Could have given them quite the show had you been sitting by my side.”

For a moment, Nicole’s face fell a little, her brow furrowing in frustration. “Maybe for once I would have had the courage to fly in the face of Father. I should have done something to sabotage the whole thing… I had so many plans. So many ways I could have made a mess of it all. But I didn’t. I played my part like a good little doll and then fled as soon as the coast was clear.”

Slowly she took off the sunglasses and turned to gently place them back on Harry’s face. “I should have been braver. I need to learn to be brave without you. After all, as we both know… Soon enough, I won’t be able to lean upon you anymore.” Her lips twisted into a sad smile as Nicole’s gaze flickered over his face before turning to look out across the pool towards the ocean. She didn’t like to think about how quickly that time was rushing towards her. How soon she would actually no longer have Harry close at hand to provide comfort and joy in her life.

Lex certainly would try his hardest, of course. He wasn’t a monster. They both knew he was trapped in the same churning gears as she was. Yet that did not change the fact that Lex was just a dim replacement. Enough for her to close her eyes and imagine he was Harry. That if she just believed enough he would transform before her with enough wishing.  But she could not live the rest of her life in the dark. And sooner rather than later Nicole would have to resign herself to being truly alone.

Yet, thankfully, now was not such a time. As she turned her gaze back to Harry, another warm shiver ran through her body as she watched his gaze slowly trace her curves. For as much as Harry knew he was handsome, Nicole certainly knew for a fact that she was beautiful. It was what she was bred for, after all. Meant to be desirable and unattainable so that only the best would be allowed to even think of touching her.

So then what was to be said for how desperately this marble goddess wished to be touched by the man of dust beside her.

“I seem to make everything sparkle, you say?” She replied with another small grin. “Perhaps it would not be so hard for me to make you want me, then. Maybe I don’t need to make this fictional stranger version of yourself an exception to my rules.” A sparkle appeared in Nicole’s eye as she gazed down at him. Harry was the only man in the world she truly wished to want her. It was a need she hardly ever dare speak of for the fear it would push him further away. But this was something he had offered of his own will. Without prompting. Without being asked he had pronounced her beautiful…

And that was a small treasure that Nicole would protect with her very life.

Yet she still wondered what sort of game the two of them were playing at when Harry picked up the sunscreen that had been sitting next to him and cautioned her against ruining the ‘precious jewel’ that was to be offered in sacrifice to the great Porter name. His phrasing was vague and so Nicole, being as clever as she was, knew better than to let such an opportunity pass her by.

Perhaps he would not touch her in the way she wished for whatever reasons of his own, but this could become a close enough approximation. Enough at least to color her dreams of him at night with the memory of his hands upon her skin.

“Ah, yes… I suppose you’re right. We do have another photoshoot in a few days. It’d be terrible if I were to show up looking like a freshly cooked lobster.” She smirked at the young man, blinking innocently as she tied her golden locks up into a messy bun and pulled at the straps of her suit to expose her shoulders. “Though I wonder if you wouldn’t mind putting some on my back for me? The dress dips rather low in the back. I’d hate to miss a spot.”

[oceanfrontashley]

[ooc] Nicole & Ashley

so when harry and ashley were dating, i feel like ashley really tried to make friends with nicole/thought they were already friends. because ashley doesn’t really understand the concept of people not liking her??? and so i think she just automatically assumed that because she’s dating harry, nicole liked her and they were friends. but i’m guessing nicole was reALLY not having any of that?? O.O

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

Nicole @Ashley, tbqh:

But yeaaaah, noooo. Nicole did NOT take well to Ashley. Mainly because I think Ashley may have been the first fling to actually take? Like she was the first of Harry’s girlfriends she actually felt vaguely threatened by and that just sent off sooooo many alarm bells.

This girl was going to take away her brother. This girl was going to take away the one person in the world that had ever shown her kindness. This girl was going to forcibly rip her soul in half and expected her to be happy about it?!?!?!

Fuck that bullshit.

Nicole would always much rather take revenge.

So tbqh she probably tormented Ashley quite a bit, most likely in a very Regina George fashion. Lots of big smiles with lots of teeth while telling her that really she ought to stop wearing stripes because they made her look awfully fat.

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

Like Real People Do | Harricole

It had been quite the successful party; even Nicole herself had to admit.

What a lovely evening, Nicole, darling. We’re so happy you’ve come to join us here.

How refreshing to have a new face amongst this droll crowd. You’re such a breath of fresh air.

Charming party, Miss Ackerman. Quite charming. You’ll simply have to tell me the name of your caterer!

She smiled that perfect smile at each of the ladies as they passed, shaking hands and pressing kisses to the air next to cheeks. Everything like clockwork as she had been taught from the womb.

Perfect hostess.

Perfect daughter.

Perfect soon-to-be-wife.

This party had been all part of Frederick’s grand scheme of course. An afternoon tea social for all the influential ladies of VA Beach. She’d even invited the fearsome Kitty Porter in the hopes of a show of solidarity for the joining of their families. The woman had politely declined, of course, but Nicole had been quite open in sharing that her future mother-in-law had assured her it was only due to a slight cold that she would not be coming.

Whatever helps her sleep at night, that cold hearted bitch… Nicole thought to herself, waving a hand to the last of the guests as she stepped into her towncar and drove away.

“Thank God it’s all over.” She murmured, kicking off her kitten heels and pulling the diamond chandelier earrings from her ears. “I wouldn’t have been able to stand these fucking harpies one second more.” Dropping the jewelry in a bowl next to the door, Nicole wandered through the archways of their pebbled drive, past the rose garden where the servants and catering crew were picking up the remnants of the party. The head of the catering company looked up as the golden goddess made her way past, picking up a clipboard and hurrying over towards her.

“Miss Ackerm—“

“The party is over. I’m not on duty anymore, so you have nothing you could possibly say to me that I care to hear about. If you have any questions, talk to my father. He’s the one paying you after all.” She muttered, brushing past the woman as she peeled the straps of her dress off her shoulders and tossed it to one of the servants without a second look.

She’d been wearing her bathing suit under the floral contraption the entire time, having promised herself that the instant she was free of the clucking hens of this place that she would give herself a good half-days’ worth of sun and mojitos by the pool. Working on her tan was listed under the unofficial acceptable activities listed sanctioned by Frederick Ackerman, after all. Along with anything else that could possibly help make her more desirable to the opposite sex.

“Disgusting.” Nicole ruffled a hand through her perfect curls, mussing them as much as possible as she wandered through the gardens towards the pool. She wanted nothing to do with the girl she just had to play for the world outside of this cage. Nicole hated that woman. Simpering smiling fool she was.

Only a few more months… Then you’ll be married and all of this will be over…

The thought should have been more of a comfort than a burden. And yet…

Ice-cold blue eyes settled on the entire reason that her impending nuptials weighed heavy upon her heart the moment she passed through the gate to the pool. The dark-haired Adonis of her dreams lay in her favorite lounge chair, sunglasses perched on his nose and droplets of water glistening like diamonds upon his skin. It was only the uneven rhythm of his breathing and the twitching of his forehead at the sound of the gate closing behind her that made Nicole certain that he had not fallen asleep.

“Here I thought you knew better than to steal my chair when I’m not around.” Nicole teased as she walked over and perched next to Harry on the chair. Slowly she leaned over him, pulling the sunglasses from behind his ears and slipping them upon her own face. “Unless, of course, you’re simply here to reserve it for me and not, as I suspect, trying to hide the fact that you were spying on my party.” She grinned widely at the young man.

Had they been more concealed, perhaps she would have risked dipping her face to his, brushing a gentle kiss to the corner of his lips, taking the chance that he wouldn’t stop her. Instead she contented herself with her hand braced above his shoulder, staring down at him as she swallowed her want back. He’d denied her once. She knew better than to press again. She would not ask him for anything he did not want to give.

“I would have invited you if father would have let me… Not that you probably would have enjoyed talking about the schedule of charity events for the next twelve months. I know I was falling asleep in my chair. I’d much rather have been out here.” Nicole flicked her golden locks over her shoulder, lips twisting into another smirk.

[ontheoceanfront]

NICOLE ACKERMAN / natalie dormer

Relationships: (fiancé:) Edmund Alexander “Lex” Porter V, (step-brother), Henry “Harry” Ackerman, (enemies:) Valerie Connors, Natalie Connors

Age: 28 Occupation: Heiress Description: Nicole has no delusions that her future husband will remain faithful to her. She and Lex are getting married to please their parents and nothing more. The only person Nicole has ever really loved, has been her step-brother Harry, but she knows that they will never be together. Nicole is manipulative, glamorous, extravagant, narcissistic, and often sadistic.

TAKEN BY LAUREN.

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

In Your Warm Arms | Harricole

[oceanfrontharry]

Even as he heard the bitterness in her words, they twisted his lips into a scowl. Harry washed it away with wine and turned blue eyes on her. “So,” he concluded. “Literally rich beyond the dreams of Avarice, himself. That’s all he wanted, you know. Money and power.” Harry wondered, not for the first time, why Frederick had even married Harry’s mother. She came with a son, a dead husband, and drought with scandal. Has he desired her so completely? It had certainly proved a means by which to get his name printed. Harry suspected however that each of these desires had come second to one that might have been satiated by her Silvers name. Frederick had wanted a fortune from Celeste and had had assumed her wealthy relatives would provide it. He had been wrong.

Harry’s fingers clasped the stem of his drink. His mind felt foggy and thick as it roved over Lex Porter. So far, Harry had met them only superficially, really, but his family seemed to fulfill all the stereotypes outlined by the tabloids. Edmund Porter IV: ruthless, cunning; Kitty Porter: ambitious, manipulative; Lex Porter: wild, sarcastic; Ian Porter: clever, politick. Yet such traits outlined little enough worth knowing. He wondered how far Lex’s hands had wandered over Harry’s sister or if he’d made her scream in ecstasy. According to what everyone even here in Virginia Beach seemed able to attest, Lex knew his way around a woman. And Harry wondered if, on some level, Nicole wanted him. He was handsome and rich and he had been born to this game.

Of course she wanted him.

Harry swallowed wine and he tasted its bitterness now. Yet when he looked up her eyes were on him, calves poking out from her silk dressing gown. He wondered, in a distant kind of way, if she were still naked beneath it, just as he wondered if Lex had been the one to undress her, if he’d shared her bed before leaving. Yet Lex was not on his mind now, at last. Her blue eyes drank him in above the rim of her glass. His crisp white button down had been stripped of its tie and the top several buttons undone. He’d cast off his dress jacket, but left his grey slacks. Yet she was the one worth beholding: straight back emphasizing each tantalizing curve, silk draping her form in shivering folds. Her hair was an unruly cascade: natural as he liked it. “You’re radiant, sis,” he told her with a soft smile.

His expression sharpened into wakefulness when she spoke again, and his eyes met hers. He pictured that moment, instead of touching her sweet lips, pulling back the sheet. They had slept together before, but always Nicole coming to him and snuggling against his warmth like a shield, for they knew her father would not come for her if she was with Harry. But she had never been nude and always conscious. They had always slept together as siblings did, in that way. But it did not shock him, her offer, it stood between them like a door they were each unready to open. But that door was gone, not open and not shut, and they must keep breathing without it.

“Then stay with me, tonight,” he said, finally. “We’ll dream together.“  Her gaze was a brand and he longed to be burned, but his fingers were clenched around his glass and they did not flex.  He was too cold to scald, however he might yearn for her living flame.  She was statuesque and he could be a statue - Michelangelo’s discarded marble flecks strewn across the floor at her feet.  She was Venus de Milo, arms ripped away, and he was her Colossus, broad and unbending in her defense.  But movable, he thought, bitterly.  Shunted off to the north when she jetted southward.  Frederick knew that, at her side, Harry was not controllable.

“Your father has his schemes,” Harry said.  “Let us make our own.”  He moved towards her, eyes bent on her.  “Let him try to bend us, we will sooner crack him.  I will take you away,” he swore, kneeling before her.  It had not been the first time he had made this promise, but they both knew it was an empty hope.  The only power he claim was in his father’s name.  The Wests were defunct, penniless, and shamed.  Frederick would find them, eventually, and then he would punish them within an inch of their lives.  Still, there was a part of Harry that thought it was worth it - endless freedom and hope and togetherness.  Once attained, he knew, no one could take that from them, not really.

Yet, then he thought of her as he’d seen her, bruised and bloodied, fingers clinging to him, tangled in his shirt.  Her blue eyes could burn and he was engulfed even as dirt and blood dripped from the tears on her cheek.  He had kissed them away, sweet salt biting his lips and mourning on his tongue.  How could he put her through that?  Shaking hands and desperate eyes, he’d promised himself that he would destroy Frederick.  I cannot do that on the run, he reminded himself. 

His brow crumpled even as his eyes steeled and he reached upward to brush hair from her eyes.  “I’m here, now, Nic,” he whispered, as he’d done before.  “Nothing bad is going to happen to you.  I won’t let it.”  But what he meant was, ‘I won’t let him.’  He pressed his eyes shut and rested his head in her lap, one arm wrapped around her calves, one hand clinging to her thigh as though he were lost as sea and she was his only anchor.

“Chase me, then,” he mumbled against her leg, smirking softly.  “You’re the only one who knows how to find me, once I begin to run.” 

She spoke of Lex and Harry’s eyes opened again.  For a moment he did not move, hardly daring to breathe but his heart was pounding and he straightened to scoop up the wine glass he’d set at her feet and stood again.  He looked away from her, sucking in the rich red as she spoke.  Turning back to her, he arched his brows.  “What’s he getting out all of this?”  The darker corners of Harry’s mind suggested that he got the one thing Harry craved: Nicole.

Angry stretched itself out upon Nicole’s taunt muscles and deadened the flame in her eyes for the lapse of a moment.  He didn’t interrupt her, letting her speak and, for once, be heard.  He knew it was what she needed and he knew it was the one gift he had to give her, now.  Harry swallowed hard as she continued to speak of the adoring crowds with iron hearts and eyes blind with the flash of cameras.  He knew that Nicole could lead them all on a merry chase and they’d run, hallooing like awful hounds and screaming to one another with voices like wounded horses.  But Nicole was not the fox they thought they’d caught in their trap.  No, she was reeling them in, her own prey.

“All they want is a show.”  Harry remembered trembling when they’d been cornered, after his father’s suicide.  One hand cast up to shield his eyes from the glare, his mother wailing that they’d known nothing, that she’d loved her sweet Roger.  Her fingers were tight against Harry’s jacket and she’d felt the tremor running through him.  She thought it was fear, but all he had seen was red. 

“They’ll chase you till you bleed and once you’ve collapsed they take their pleasure and leave.”  Nicole knew that as well as he did and he dropped onto the bed beside her, shoulder to shoulder as they should be.

When she spoke of his presence, he turned to look at her, cerulean eyes caught on her visage.  He swallowed softly.  “He thinks he can bend us to his will.”  He tucked blond tresses behind her ear.  He half wanted to ask if he was right.  Had he broken them?  But they could fight even in a route.  It was a strategic withdrawal, afterall, not a surrender.  “He doesn’t understand us, he just wants you to play along, but, Nic,” tenderly he stretched out his hand, placing it beneath her chin and turning her to look at him.  “He doesn’t know what we know, sis.  He doesn’t know that, no matter what he does, he can never part us, not truly.”  It was an assurance, a promise.  He didn’t flinch, eyes fixed on hers.  She was all that had ever been his as he was all that had ever been hers and, no matter what anyone did or said, that could never be taken from them.  “He hasn’t won, Nicole.  Not unless we let him and I am not done fighting.  Are you?”

His fingers dropped to trace the chain of the necklace.  Beneath it, her skin was soft and warm and smooth.  She wasn’t marble, at all, living flesh that burned with his touch.  No statue could ever shine so bright.  “I’ll never leave you, sis,” he told her, again.  His eyes found hers again and he smiled softly, sadly.  “You’re the only part of me that was ever real.”

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

“Perhaps even richer still. I may never know. I’m sure the Porters will insist on some sort of pre-nup agreement, which father’ll consider the greatest insult of our time. Even knowing that he’s exactly the sort of person those types of agreements are created to keep away from the real money. ” Nicole replied quietly, raising an eyebrow in place of shrugging and sipping at her wine. She pointedly looked down at the glass as she drank—Nicole knew far too well the hoops Harry’s own mother had been put through when their parents had married. Celeste had offered nothing of the sort on her own and Frederick had put high hopes in cashing in on his second wife’s naivety.

He’d hardly expected that the lack of an offer had been because she was penniless in all but name. Nicole had borne the brunt of that discovery. Sometimes she wondered if the silvered scars across her shoulder blades would ever truly fade.

Yet when her eyes lifted back up to her brother, she was worried to find him still as a statue. Yet, the look upon Harry’s face spoke volumes. She swallowed the mouthful of wine without fanfare as she continued to wander her gaze over his features.

Nicole knew that look in her brother’s eyes. He’d worn it many times before in the ten years since their peace began. He was preoccupied with the thoughts of someone else touching her, brushing their brutish hands against her porcelain skin, pressing purple bruises into her hips as they gripped her too tightly, biting red marks into her neck, trying so hard to mark her, to possess her.  And it was choking him. After all, he was her knight in tarnished armor. He held himself so steady in his watch over her—ever since he promised her so many years ago in that tone that spoke of an oath given in all but blood.

No one will ever hurt you. Not while I’m still alive.

If only he knew how much pain she’d endure, if only it meant having Harry be the only one to touch her ever again.

Nicole pushed herself further up on her elbows as she watched Harry pull himself back to the world of the living, gazing at her with a reverence she had once thought was only reserved for men at prayer. She’d be lying if she didn’t admit to basking in his admiration. How she couldn’t resist the temptation to stretch languidly like a cat in a sunbeam, her back arching a little and toes pointing as she rolled her neck, those golden waves he longed to run his fingers through shifting and tumbling away to reveal the marble-white plane of her collarbone. Truly, Nicole was honest and straightforward with Harry in a way she had never been with anyone else in her life. Yet, it didn’t keep her from knowing how to tempt a man. Especially one she desired as much as she desired her brother.  A hint of lace peeking from where the slit of her dressing gown had ridden up and split a bit further as she stretched. The faint shadow following the rounding of her breast. The curve of her neck as she tilted her chin up to meet Harry’s gaze. It was only fair to entice him so when he was driving her half mad himself.

“Speak for yourself, brother.” She replied with a voice that perhaps maintained less control than she’d like to admit. Nicole took another long sip of her wine, trying to steady the tremors she already felt beginning as she tried to settle herself. Yet, how could she maintain composure when all she could imagine was beckoning her brother forward. Pulling him down atop her by the lapels before crashing her lips against his own, hoping to douse the flames in her heart with his cool composure. How could she sit still as a stone when all she found herself craving was a chance to run her hands under the confining buttons of his shirt, tearing them open so she could touch every inch of him, pepper each perfect curve with gentle kisses, sighing ‘I love you’s into every warm breath against his icy skin.

But as she posed her question, as she once again—for what felt like the hundredth time—offered him the opportunity to open the door that stood between them, Harry had denied her.

Nicole knew she shouldn’t feel the cold sting of rejection by now. She only ever was given small tastes of what it would be like to have him. He only permitted her kisses stolen at midnight on New Year’s Eve as he held her close and whispered into her hair that he would always be there for her. And perhaps it was some sort of vain hope that found her offering herself to him over and over again when she knew in her heart he would never accept.

And perhaps it truly was for the best. After all, what did she hope for if some day his resolve cracked and he pulled her to him in the middle of the night, the two of them praying to a god that only existed between silk sheets and the four corners of his poster bed? In the morning he’d certainly resent her for what she’d seduced him into. He’d turn from her in disgust and hatred. He’d be poisoned by her as she’d poisoned so many in her lifetime. And what then? What would she do when she had cut half of her soul away?

Yes, perhaps it was best. Harry had always had so much more sense than she did in these matters.

“Then I will…” She said finally after a few quiet moments, her gaze flickering away from Harry as she hoped he would not see the disappointment and sadness that she was certain had flooded into her blue eyes. The young woman took in a deep breath and allowed a gentle smile to cross her lips before continuing. “I do always have much sweeter dreams when you’re in them with me.” Nicole turned her gaze back to her brother as he began to advance towards her slowly, locking eyes with her.

Her breath was stolen away yet again as Harry knelt before her. Metaphorically laying his sword at her feet, he was pledging his fealty to her as he always did and they both knew it. God, in his eyes she felt like a queen. Like a goddess. Like Aphrodite come back to life. “You’ll take me away?” She whispered, setting her wine glass upon the table so she could gently cup her brother’s face in her hands. “Where shall we run this time, Harry? Brazil? Siberia? Some far away island no one has a name for yet?” Another truer, freer smile crossed Nicole’s lips as her thumb brushed gently across her brother’s cheek. “We will be as swift and uncontainable as the wind. Father will try his hardest to catch us, break us, stopper us, but… With you by my side I cannot fail.”

Nicole’s mind too, flashed back to that fateful night so many years ago. They had fought like cats and dogs from the moment he’d stepped into her father’s home. They had been so hateful to each other, resisting the change they signaled, both of them still rubbed raw from the tragedies of their lives and the whirlwinds that had come from them. But still, he had found her. Nicole had learned the hideaways in her father’s house early on—secret places where she could go and literally tend to her wounds in private. Where her cries could not be heard. And yet, he had appeared. Harry had come to her draped in moonlight and allowed her to rest her head against his chest. Had allowed her to release the flood of tears that had been building inside of her for what felt like an eternity and kissed them all away with gentle promises of vengeance.

“I know…” Nicole replied quietly, her hands going to run gently through her brother’s soft brown curls as he laid his head upon her lap. “You’ve always protected me, Harry. And—And it’s why I never feel whole when you’ve been sent away from me. You’re my armor. My heart. When you’re with me, I’m invincible.” The heart that lay in her chest ached gently as Harry wrapped an arm around her calves and placed a hand upon her thigh. She was as much a part of him as he was of her. Nicole knew this.  Part of her wished they could sit like this unto eternity, wrapped around each other without a care.

She laughed yet as he teased her, daring her to chase him. “Don’t wish for things you only half believe you want.” Nicole replied, tugging gently upon his hair before smoothing it across his brow. “I would chase you around the world a hundred thousand times if you ever had the gall to run from me. And I would indeed find you every time. You have half my heart beating in your chest. I’ll just listen for the familiar rhythm.” She was only teasing, of course, but still there was a semblance of truth in it. For Harry did hold her heart next to his own surely enough. Just as Nicole feverishly hoped she held some of his next to her own. A soft sigh echoed over the young woman’s lips as she leaned forward and brushed a gentle kiss against Harry’s hair, her own golden waves cascading over her shoulders to encase them in a little world of their own.

It was yet another perfect moment that could not last. As they always seemed to be between the two of them. She’d made the mistake of mentioning her future husband. It has sent a tension through her body that Harry mimicked before taking her own upon his shoulders as well. Reluctantly Nicole released her tenuous hold on her brother’s hair, fingers trailing along his cheeks as he stood in one gracefully fluid motion. The grace did not take away from the anger in his tone as he asked her what Lex was getting from marrying her, in a way it only accented the pain that she knew they both felt.

“An heir to the throne.” She said candidly, lips pursed in a straight line as she regarded her brother. It wouldn’t be what he wanted to hear but it was true. “A beautiful trophy wife who has the sort of breeding and genteel nature that knows what to say to the press and to others of our class. Who can host elegant dinner parties and head social and charity organizations. But most of all, someone who will produce a healthy, handsome heir with an impeccable lineage.” The words tasted bitter in her mouth and Nicole nearly split all of them out, fingers reaching out not for her nearly empty wine glass but instead for the bottle itself, tipping the lip of it towards her mouth. She took a few healthy swallows before lowering the bottle and gently wiping her lips with the back of her hand.

There wasn’t enough wine in the world to douse the anger Nicole could feel rumbling in her stomach and drawing taut all the muscles in her body as her mind’s eye drew her back to the party only a few hours earlier. How she had wanted to scream at all of them. How she had wanted to show them the monster they’d all come to run aground. But instead she’d merely smiled. Kissed the man she loathed more than the entire world. Played the beautiful and gracious fiancée.

It’d felt like they’d already torn her to pieces.

“I’ve given them shows a plenty over the years.” Nicole replied, tone bitter and hollow. “I may lead them in a chase, laugh in their faces and beckon them to follow me between the trees, but it does not make their cries less terrifying when they come nipping at my heels.” Yet it felt like a lungful of oxygen when Harry finally came to sit next to her, the familiar weight of him settling beside her as they brushed shoulders. “I just fear for the day when they fall upon me and leave me ravaged, bloody and torn and broken, left in the mud and the muck to rot. Because…” Nicole lifted her gaze from the floor then to look upon Harry, worry furrowing her brow. “Because what if they then decide you are a worthier opponent? I will not have them run you to the grave after I have failed to be entertainment enough, Harry.”

It still came as somewhat of a surprise, though, to see the pain in Harry’s eyes when she lamented over the loss of him. As if he seemed to think it was his own fault. Nicole opened her mouth to amend herself, to tell him that she hadn’t meant it as it sounded. Even if it was true that it had pained her to feel the throbbing void he’d left behind when Fredrick had ripped him from her grasp. But Harry beat her to the punch, as always, so kind and gentle with her. Brushing hair behind her ear and showering her with gentle assurances that her father could never truly take him from her.

This, paired with how incredibly close she suddenly realized they both were, sent a column of fire roaring through the young woman’s core.

You see, there were times when Nicole cursed the life she had been born into. Often she was thankful for the things she had been given. Thankful that her life was an easy one–for the most part. But then there were times like these… When she was very acutely aware of her brother’s fingers holding her chin ever so gently so that she was forced to look him in the eyes. To see just how sincere he truly was in telling her that Frederick could do whatever he wanted to them, but that it would still mean nothing. That Harry would always be a part of her, no matter what.

These were the times Nicole Ackerman found she wished she was literally anyone else.

Perhaps then she needn’t ignore the roaring of blood in her ears, or how time seemed to slow so that she had infinities worth to count the constellations she could find within Harry’s eyes. Or how her heart felt like it was pounding out of her chest, beating itself against her ribcage in a desperate tattoo. Maybe then she could give in to the feeling of how her breath ran ragged across lips that had parted of their own accord, her gaze falling without prompting to Harry’s own velvet lips.

If she were anyone else, she could give in to the aching longing that was screaming through her veins, that had been building, she knew, from the moment she’d stepped into this room, begging her to please, dear god end this torment and just close the gap between them.

“No… No, I’m not done fighting. He—He doesn’t own us. He can’t break us. Not if we’re together.” Nicole finally whispered out, trying to speak in the hopes it would help calm her, and yet it only sent another blaze of desire through her as she saw the pleasure and approval lighten Harry’s eyes. Her lips trembled with the tenuous hold she was keeping upon herself. One corner curled up slightly in something almost like a grimace as Nicole tried to remind herself of how he would hate her if she succumbed to her desires and pulled him into her embrace. How he would turn away again, or even worse: how maybe he’d give in for a night, but in the morning would leave her in disgust.

Because Nicole was not any other girl in the world. She wasn’t the sort of beautiful willow of a woman from some other family that he could court in the light of day. She was Nicole Ann Louise Ackerman. 

And he was the one man she wanted, but could not have.

The moment was broken as his hand left her chin. Nicole let out a soft sigh (which to a trained ear might have even sounded eerily close to a gentle moan) as his fingers trailed down the length of her neck to trace along the chain of the necklace he’d given her for her twentieth birthday. She cursed herself for the way he could surely feel her heart pounding, if not the fire that blossomed across her skin wherever his fingers traced their patterns.

God, and as his eyes caught her own… As he promised he would never leave her. The sadness in his smile that mirrored the cracks in her heart. His quiet admittance of the secret they both held within them—that without the other, they would cease to exist. It was all simply too much.

“Please…” She croaked out, voice cracking with barely contained emotion as she stared back into her brother’s eyes. Barely keeping herself contained as she shivered and shuddered beside him, still so very aware of his fingers hovering against her skin. “Please, Harry…” Nicole hardly even knew what she was begging for from him.

All she knew was that if Harry did not touch her soon, did not pull her close or press his lips against her own, it was quite possible she may go mad.

[afadthatlastsforever]

One day, whether you are 14, 28 or 65 you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find–– is they are not always with whom we spend our lives.

Beau Taplin, “The Awful Truth” (via bl-ossomed)

[laurenplayspeople]

Secrets of the heart are different. They are private and painful, and we want nothing more than to hide them from the world. They do not swell and press against the mouth. They live in the heart, and the longer they are kept, the heavier they become.

The Wise Man’s Fear, Patrick Rothfuss (via laurenplayspeople)

[oceanfrontlex]

Paparazzi | Lex & Nicole (+Porters & Ackermans)

The water would still be cold, but the wind was warm and, standing on the balcony, he appreciated it lacing through his hair.  It had been two years since he had stood here, overlooking the Atlantic, and he knew it would be one of the last times, as well.  Ian hoped to get Natalie back, Lex suspected, but Lex didn’t think it would work - not this time.  Too much had happened, their lives had parted too sharply for too long.  They came from different worlds and the Porters had been busy embracing that lifestyle, a lifestyle the Connors were above - not out of any arrogance, but out of a kind of goodness no one too rich seemed to possess - save Ian, alone.

Lex looked at his watch.  It’s time, he realized, turning to leave.  They’d had a few parties; all of them were media circuses.  Tonight was to be something a little different -  an interview with a full photographic spread for Vanity Fair.  Lex rolled his eyes, loading into his Maserati and riding to the appointed place.  Nicole’s brother was there, one arm around Nicole’s waist as he stared daggers at Lex, but Lex was more than used to that and he ignored it, handily, walking straight up to Nicole and pulling her close, his lips crashing into hers.  Even eyes closed, the flash of cameras left afterimage halos on his vision.  Mother will be pleased, he thought, bitterly.  Her lips tasted like rose petals but they left a sour taste in his mouth.

“Come on, Nicole, let’s greet our guests,” he said, slipping his hand into hers.  Theoretically, this was an ‘intimate’ setting, the second appearance at her father’s beach house (the man liked getting Porters there as often and as publicly as humanly possible, it seemed,) but with every reporter and photographer the magazine could scrounge together, here, it was really anything but.  “Sorry I’m late.  Let’s get this rolling, shall we?”

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

“It’ll be fine, just a little bit of media and it’ll be over, all right?” Nicole had murmured quietly at Harry as they stood together, arms hanging casually about each other’s waists. Harry scowling a little as the paparazzi gathered, Nicole still wearing her trademark smile/smirk that many had been quoted as saying made her look as if she knew the date and time of the end of the world but refused to tell.

“Besides, if we’re good little boys and girls and say all the right things to the press, maybe Daddy’ll ease off... For about five minutes.” She teased, risking a brief brush of her lips against Harry’s cheek as she heard the sound of tires against gravel rattling up the driveway. “Showtime, Harry. We can do this.” Nicole whispered in his ear, turning away and dropping her arm from his waist as the cameras all turned to point at the true man of the hour.

Edmund Alexander Porter V.

Most assuredly the most desirable bachelor of the hour in the United States, if not perhaps the greater Western World. Her father had nearly had a heart attack after Nicole had offhandedly mentioned meeting him at a party and that they’d seemed to hit it off. Nicole had often wondered how quickly a contract for her sale had been written up after that night. Had her father even waited five minutes? Or had sixty seconds been long enough for him to salivate over the notion of even glancing at the expansive Porter wealth.

“Lex, darling! You made it!” She said with a small laugh, light and lilting as the paparazzi still shouted at them to look their way, Nicole opening her arms while Lex made a bee-line for her. Nicole could feel Harry’s fingers tightening around her waist and the fire in his stare. But this was not the time for the small thrill that shot straight to her heart at the possessive glint in her brother’s eyes. She had a part to play if she ever hoped to survive the night, let alone the next thirty years of her lifetime. And if she wanted Harry to be a part of that life well--he would have to be momentarily discomforted.

“I’d thought you’d nearly forgotten what day the shoot--” Nicole began to say, but was promptly cut off by Lex pulling her from Harry’s grasp, gathering her up and pressing his soft lips against her own. Ever-aware, the young woman wasted no time in entwining her arms around his neck, forcing her body to melt gently into his, fluttering her eyes closed and smiling into the kiss as her lips moved against his own. If Nicole had learned anything over her twenty-odd years on this earth, she’d learned to put on a show.

Father will be pleased...

And what a show they both performed. Lights went off like fireworks in front of them, paparazzi making whooping noises (and Nicole thought she heard even a few crude suggestions of what they should move to next) before fading away as Lex finally released his hold on her.

“Ah, yes... Perhaps we should.” Nicole continued, sounding a bit more breathless than she actually felt. Had helped a little that when she closed her eyes she merely imagined it was Harry holding her, Harry’s lips pressed against her own. Helped sell the act--made it look more realistic if she could conjure up the feelings she was meant to have. Even if they were for the wrong man.

“Father and I have everything set up by the pool. There’s a lovely view of the beachfront just beyond the pavilion. Should provide a beautiful backdrop to all the photos.” She said with a small smile, interlocking her fingers between Lex’s as they waved to the paparazzi and headed indoors, perhaps squeezing a bit harder than necessary as she continued. “I do hope the light stays, though. We had hoped you’d be a bit earlier so we might miss any of the cloud cover that’s been threatening all morning. But, I suppose there’s nothing good lighting can’t fix.”

Now that they had left some of the paparazzi behind and Harry lagged far enough behind that he couldn’t quite see their faces, Nicole’s smile turned a bit sharper, more feral as she gazed up at Lex, something like anger and a threat in her eyes. He’d been nearly an hour late. An entire hour that they could have already gotten through all of this fucking bullshit with. She could have been gone already. Off to her own little hideaway, dragging Harry along beside her as a way to soothe the tension of having to face the fact that there was no going back from this auction block of a sham marriage.

Instead he’d been late. Wasted her time. Fucking prick.

But as the trio finally made their way through the house and towards the pool, Nicole’s face smoothed out once more, light radiating from her face as she pushed open the door and gently pulled Lex out onto the deck behind her. “I found him, the little minx!” She giggled, blonde hair shining like spun gold in the summer sun, falling in gentle waves over her shoulder and brushing against the soft white silk of her dress. It had been no accident that Nicole had fashioned herself after a Greek statue. She knew her strengths--and her beauty was at the forefront of her weapons at hand.

“Strolled right on up like it was nothing. As if there weren’t a whole football team’s worth of paparazzi just waiting for us. You do like to make an entrance, don’t you, babe?” Nicole gently pressed a soft kiss to Lex’s lips, her hands brushing non-existent dust and lint off his chest, gazing up at him with something that--to the casual observer--certainly appeared to be a young woman irrevocably in love with the man before her.

“Now, we should probably take the photos first, shouldn’t we? To catch the light?” Nicole turned to the photographers, gesturing for Harry to take a spot next to her father, just to the right of the chair where Nicole knew she’d be sitting. Just close enough for her to feel the brush of his hand against her own if he wanted. “Or would we rather have drinks first, settle in for the interview?”

The young woman let out a small noise of pardon then, shaking her head at herself before turning back to look at Lex. “Ah, I’m sorry, darling. I should have asked you, after all, this is all for you--would you prefer photos first or the interview?” She raised an eyebrow up at him, both of them knowing full well this was just another part of the act she was cultivating for the reporters all furtively watching her every move. The delightful and headstrong but still accommodating bride-to-be.

She was meant to be perfect. And good god would Nicole feed them perfection on a silver platter. 

[nataliedormersource]

Natalie Dormer for SELF Magazine (April 2015)

[rubyredwisp]

[oceanfrontnicole-blog]

What gets me up and out? I need my coffee. I’m a caffeine fiend. I like to run. So maybe I’m gonna do a run in the morning, get the adrenaline and circulation moving. — Natalie Dormer [x]

[breathtakingqueens]

Natalie Dormer photographed by Marc Baptiste.

[ablackwomanbecoming-deactivated]

“how far have you walked for men who’ve never held your feet in their laps? how often have you bartered with bone, only to sell yourself short? why do you find the unavailable so alluring? where did it begin? what went wrong? and who made you feel so worthless? if they wanted you, wouldn’t they have chosen you? all this time, you were begging for love silently, thinking they couldn’t hear you, but they smelt it on you, you must have known that they could taste the desperate on your skin? and what about the others that would do anything for you, why did you make them love you until you could not stand it? how are you both of these women, both flighty and needful? where did you learn this, to want what does not want you? where did you learn this, to leave those that want to stay?”

warsan shire (via learningxlinda)

[important-as-the-stars-deactiva]

This is all I know how to do: carry loss around until I begin to resemble every bad memory, every terrible fear, every nightmare anyone has ever had.

The Unbearable Weight of Staying, Warsan Shire (via important-as-the-stars)

[fables-of-the-reconstruction-de]

Nail me to you. I will ride you like a nightmare.

Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body (via themotherofrevelation)

[quillington]

worst is yet to come || an on the oceanfront mix • Blank Space - Taylor Swift • Wake Up Call - Maroon 5 • Activate My Heart - Natalia Kills • Love Me Like You Do - Ellie Goulding • The Mother We Share - CHVRCHES • Every Breath You Take (Re:Imagined) - Denmark + Winter • Drumming Song - Florence + the Machine • White Wedding - Billy Idol • Love Like War - All Time Low, ft. Vic Fuentes • Machine - The Used • Goodbye - Apparat with Soap & Skin • Irresistible - Fall Out Boy • Let Go For Tonight - Foxes • Sister - She Wants Revenge • Android - Press Play • Come On Closer - Jem • Cry Little Sister - Aiden • Machine - Regina Spektor • Sloom - Of Monsters And Men • Dark In My Imagination - of Verona • Don’t Let Me Go - RAIGN