[prettycolors]

[pointnclick]

fuuuuck i left my mic unmuted at work for 10 mins by accident and my computer chair kind of sounds like really big creaky farts whenever it moves and i was chewing gum hella hella hella loud on the open mic and rocking around and shifting and like humming and the chair was creaking so much they probably thought i was sitting there ripping ass like it’s nothing chewing so crazy loud what a hog

[memorycycle]

reports show that it was a gouger

[funnytwittertweets]

[funnytwittertweets]

[geniusoflove]

texting my coworker “hey! how are you feeling” and reading it 40 times to make sure i didn’t accidentally type how are you sex cum penis ass cum porn 1080p hot cock

[lovingjoana]

i actually can’t relate but LMAO this is hilarious

[geniusoflove]

thanks for laughing anyway

[baradragon]

[emergency-broadcast-system]

my hungry ass cpuld never work at an aquarium

[allystruggles]

Having to listen to Lana Del Rey in your gay friends’ cars and pretend it doesn’t sound like an old man trying to read a poem on his deathbed

[utopians]

GUARDS! Recede that man's hairline

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

okay unrelated but what was the funniest red flag in ur worst relationship

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

the whiplash of these notes

[headspace-hotel]

Reading the notes like

[headspace-hotel]

I feel so sorry for all of you. How are people out here being like this

[nuka-rockit]

[parakeet]

elaborate on the thomas sanders delivery thing pls?

[horrorcorewedding-deactivated20]

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[omegaverse]

ppl like “i was a gifted kid but now im dumb as shit ahhhh im so sad now weeeeh” shut the fuck up i grew up smart as shit and i’m smart now and i’ll die smart as fuck too. youre nothing.

[numanumasecrets]

Angry baseball

[doubleca5t]