I fucking hate what my life is now. You abandoned me, and now Iām alone. Youāre happy and Iām not. Itās weird. I hate you with such a passion inside me, yet Iād take you back in a heartbeat because Iām still in love with you. I miss you, but I wish I had never met you. I want to see what youāre up to, but when I look through your Twitter I cry for hours on end and throw up, so Iāve stopped. Iāve stopped eating much too. Iām down 15 pounds, the first time Iāve lost weight in my life. I donāt really have friends, and the ones I do have are distant. Iām alone, all the time. I havenāt met anyone new, crush or friend. College has sucked me into a pit of depression worse than any Iāve faced yet, and you pushed me into that pit. You dug the hole and pushed me in and spit on my face as I fell when you started dating him after assuring me for years that you and him were nothing. I donāt believe the things you tell me, and that makes it all the worse. I have breakdowns almost daily, skipping and leaving classes left and right. I pretend Iām okay just so my parents donāt institutionalize me. Iāve been secretly going to therapy, but it does nothing. Iāve contemplated suicide more times than I can count, Iām numb to it. Iām numb to life. Things I used to love, music, reading the news, playing with my dogs, playing overwatch, I hardly do those things as much as I used to. I mostly lay in bed, waiting for time to go by, wishing I could reverse it. Wishing I had you again and wishing I was happy again. Even as I lay here crying, shaking so much itās near impossible to write this, I still wish I had you again. I want you back JoJo. Forever and always.
jacobvanloon
vaporwave
turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
izzy806
jbbartram-illu
