& for a split second, there was silence. The type of silence that makes the heart throb in nervousness or anxiety, that makes the skin feel sweaty but the fngertips lost in a frozen sensation, that makes everything feels blurred & distant from your feet ( as if you would always expect to fall into some unknown plan ) & that takes away every voice chord you thought you had inside your throat. Was he really not there ? Was the spiky-haired one that desperate to make his MISTAKES right ? Was that figure really . . . just an illusion created by his troubled mind & ached heart ? But right after that masked eternity shaped as a millisecond passed, hope hatched when the golden-haired one spoke his name. A clear, soft tone. A real tone.
If by shock, disbelief or simple loss of worlds, the brunet took a while to process the other male’s sayings. There was a smile painted on his rosy lips ( a sign of his innocence and pure bliss lying in his chest ) to the fact they were meeting again, but its vestige faded as quick as it came to light: he didn’t know how to answer that question. Rather, he didn’t want to. Heck, he couldn’t even figure out if he would ever be able to. There was no other explanation other than the truth, & the junior hero knew that the sooth could be a sharp knife waiting to be soulessly used. As though as to match the boy’s feelings, the clouds started to lose its redish hues, grey shades taking over the once beautiful sky above them; clenching fists & biting bottom lip in painful frustration, blue eyes stared the other way. ❛ i just . . . followed my heart. ❜
Was it really okay to say that ? To say that he was there because the will in his heart guided him to his so called other half ? Roxas never deserved that, to be reduced to some kind of adjunct or part of the wielder, he never asked for that nor did anything to deserve such cruel, plodder destiny, as if fortune was sadistically laughing at him. It HURT to know that some would consider the blonde’s heart to be a piece of Sora’s. It hurt even more to realize that he WASN’T STRONG ENOUGH do anything to help it, to make the Nobody exist by his own, to free him from such unjust curse. The one chosen by light couldn’t accept that; he WOULDN’T accept that. So what did he have to do ? What could he do ? His hands were so firm & strongly closed that he felt his small nails entering his flesh bit by bit, almost bleeding. The bitter taste on his mouth got mixed with the knot on his gullet, empyrean admiral eyes frowned in agony closing right after his head was down. How cruel was the universe. ❛ roxas, i ——— i - i’m sorry. ❜ for everything.
❛ sounds just like you. ❜ he could hardly help the smile, the faint laugh that tumbled from his lips. but ... the sight of sora’s expression stopped him from speaking further; he saw the pain in his face and his body briefly went cold. an odd sensation; for as long as he had resided in his heart, he had only felt the beat of a constant warmth, light. yet now, their little world seemed to tremble, to go dim ... what sora felt wasn’t a simple pang.
the steps he took to approach sora were small and hesitant, as though he were unsure of his footing. it had been a while since he had seen his body and felt itself put to use; up until a moment ago, he was nothing more than a bodiless wisp in a world full of nothing. yet now, he could see how the shadows moved, smell the warm stone, observe even the smallest of sora’s movements. though he could see sora’s pain, he felt oddly ... happy. happy that he had another chance to speak. though their reunion was something bittersweet, he was glad to see him again. how long had it been ? not since that dream ... even then, he couldn’t say. it had felt like an eternity; he knew that much.
hands reached out to gently take sora’s into his own. right ... hadn’t he done this before ? for a while, he could only look down and stare at their connection. he didn’t know where his strong urge to be close came from, but there was something about the pull he couldn’t ignore. was it just for this moment they were fated to meet ? had sora come with the intention of meeting him once again ? as much as roxas tried to communicate with sora, hardly anything seemed to work. he was afraid that if he let go, sora would leave once again, leave without roxas saying what he had bottled up within himself since the last time.
❛ sora, ❜ he sighed as he carefully pulled him into an embrace, ❛ it’s okay. ❜ the feeling of sora against him was beyond words. he could feel him shake, the pulse of his heart, the heat that radiated from his face. ❛ this is how it has to be. ❜ there was nothing he could do to change his fate, change who he was, despite what sora told him, and what he used to tell himself. it had taken him so long to accept who he was, how he came to be, his role in sora’s story — all a mistake. he had realized it all the moment he first saw him.
❛ i’m glad i can see you again. ❜
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