Of Books & Boys

Academia & YA Literature

[ofbooksandboys]

Why is it that I cannot simply exist within my own academia aesthetic? Why must I actually study and try? Is it too hard to simply let me take my aesthetic photos, annotate my books and sip my coffee in the library?

[jamesusilljournal]

Dan Hillier

[lilithsorchid]

The Secret History by Donna Tartt

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

[metamorphesque]

― Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

[text ID: My mind is filled with cataclysm and apocalypse: I wish for earthquakes, eruptions, flood. Only that seems large enough to hold all of my rage and grief. I want the world overturned like a bowl of eggs, smashed at my feet.]

[10-813-08]

— Anne Carson, Grief Lessons

[horrorgorewhore]

“Lick the blood from my hands and tell me you still love me.”

— (via horrorgorewhore)

[troublegoblin]

Growing up a woman really is just *make self smaller for other people* *learning how to cook and clean while your brothers played outside* *suffering silently* *wondering if your mother ever really liked you* *carrying floral pepper spray bottles like a weapon* *taking care of your mother from the age of 10* *inherent trauma of being a woman* *generational trauma* *helps pay the family bills by 17* *that one line from Class of 2013 by Mitski* *relating too closely to The Bell Jar* *needing to be useful to be loved* *codependency" and *living as everyone's therapist*, huh.

[ofbooksandboys]

I can’t stand you. I scream I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! But the words come out I love you. I can’t stand to look at your face and yet I’m terrified to walk away. I’ve never felt anger like this before. I took a walk hoping it would go away, I walked back in the door shaking with rage. I’ve never been one for violence but I wish I could hurt you right now. I wish for once I could make you feel what you do to me. I want to tell you I hate you, that you’re insecure and despicable but the words that come out are I love you, I forgive you, I’ll stay.

[irregularcollapse]

nothing wrong with being easy to please! give all the books you read five stars. watch that movie again after people tell you that it wasn’t that great. play that band’s new album on repeat, even though it’s not supposed to be as good as their old stuff. refuse to say anything critical about something you thought was cool. be bold in telling grumpy people “actually i liked it a lot!”

[witchquotes]

“It was June, and the world smelled of roses. The sunshine was like powdered gold over the grassy hillside.”

—

Maud Hart Lovelace

[ofbooksandboys]

i never realize how bad it’s gotten again until i realize i haven’t picked up a book in months

[down-the-rabbith0le]

[woolfdaily]

“I feel entirely dehumanised by the sun now and wish for fog, snow, rain, humanity.”

— Virginia Woolf, from a letter to Edward Sackville-West c. September 1926

[ofbooksandboys]

I’ve spent my entire life running from the sadness that watched me from behind every corner. I’ve ran away more times than I can count. I’d rather leave again and again, restarting with each new life, than be left. I’ve never been satisfied with the here and now. But now I think I’ve found a sliver of happiness trapped between a morning latte and a stroll among the art. I drink coffee like a ritual. Hunting down new cafes everyday perpetually looking for that perfect brew. I sit in the park listening to my favorite songs people watching and underlining the parts of my books that make me feel alive and then I sit and walk and wander among the art. And for a girl who has constantly lived half lives with one foot out the door, I think this is what it means to live and be happy and be me.

[chaandajaan-moved]

But the thing I will never admit to anyone who's met me is how desperately I want to be loved, I don't think I could say it. How I want someone to hold my wrists and kiss my palms and smile at me, and want me, I want to be wanted and I don't know how long poetry or songs will substitute for being wanted.

[fanghusband-remade]

im not built for this 9-5 life im built for living in a gothic castle as a vampire

[lifeinpoetry]

“i wish i wasn’t / such a raw thing.”

— helga floros, from “Insomnia,” published in Occulum