ofchaoticmuses

[ofchaoticmuses]

He was meant for greatness, he was going to go on and become this big star (rightfully so) and enjoy the life that he had worked so hard for. But she? She wasn't going to be a part of it. She could see the headlines now, 'Rising star Ed Sheeran shacking up with that? Read more on page seventeen!'. He was meant to be someone and she was just... Alice. Nothing special about her. He wanted this big life for himself and fuck, she wanted it for him. But she didn't want this life, not for herself. She wasn't thinking the night she told him to kiss her, no that's not true. She was, just not clearly. She pauses just as her door opens and in walks the very person she was thinking of, "I can't do this." The words slipped before she could say anything else and she picked up her pacing, refusing to meet his eyes. "I... I don't want this." She wanted him, but with him came the lack of privacy. "You - you're meant to be something and I'm nothing." Nothing. She meant nothing, she would never mean anything and he -- he was so much more than she could give him. "I shouldn't have told you to kiss me. I should of just.. -- I can't." She shakes her head, daring to look at him as she stops a healthy distance away. "I can't do this." She repeats, "I don't want this." | @ofalwaysyours

[ofalwaysyours]

She was getting used to waking up next to an empty bed. At this point, she wondered why she didn't just sleep in the middle instead of saving space for someone who didn't want to stay. She sighed as she sat up and tried to push off the wave of rejection that washed over her when she found no note or text from Harry. Her stomach grumbled as she pushed to her feet, asking to be filled after yet another two days with only the occasional almond or olive as sustenance. Yet another feeling that she would choose to deliberately ignore. Things had been better since their fight a few days ago but Taylor still felt like she was walking on eggshells and waiting for the other shoe to drop. It wasn't Harry's fault, not really. Her notions of inadequacy far outdated his arrival into her life. The blonde hummed as she padded barefoot into the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee before taking her mug and heading into the studio. Even though there was still anxiety and resentment surrounding her relationship, she wouldn't deny that the 'I love you' part had been incredibly inspiring for her both emotionally and lyrically. Song after song seemed to flow from her pen these days and she grinned when she realized that the melody she had been humming fit perfectly to the lyrics she had written the night before. "I guess if I put his literal name as the title there won't be any guessing who it's about," she murmured to herself as the door creaked open and a familiar voice called out. "Studio!" she called back, turning after a few minutes to see him walk through the door. "Hi stranger. You were gone early. Almost wrote a whole track while you were gone."

[ofchaoticmuses]

Following her voice, Harry walked into her studio with a dimple induced grin that, try as he might, did not reach his eyes. He knew what he had to do, and he just. He hated himself for it. Hated knowing that he was once again, going to be the reason for her tears, and for her pain. "Hey, beautiful." He quickly catches her lips in a kiss before he pulls away. "Sorry, I should have left a note." He replies with the smallest of laughs, "I went for a run. I couldn't sleep." And when Harry couldn't sleep, he either found himself in the studio, or working out. "How's it coming?" He asks, taking a seat in the room. He wondered just where and how he'd bring up the whole sleeping with Louis thing into the conversation, twisting and twirling the rings that decorated his fingers. "You think I can steal you away for a bit?"

[ofalwaysyours]

Louis had gotten used to Harry not coming home for days at a time when he had first started dating Eleanor. Back then, it has been Lou's inability to let the younger man know what was going on that had Harry fleeing the apartment but that had changed over the years. Now instead of running away from the confusion with Lou, he was running towards someone. Taylor. There was bitterness even in the tone that Louis thought her name. Dani was still asleep but Lou had been up for hours, thoughts running through his head about how to ask for what he wanted. There was only one solution to please all the parties involved and while it would take sacrifice on all sides, it was truly the only logical answer. He heard the door creak open and steeled himself before he went to investigate. A cocky smirk came over his lips as he saw Harry retreating from his bedroom door and he raised an eyebrow as the curly haired brunette walked towards him. "Back for round two already? Or would this be round four since we went three times that night?"

[ofchaoticmuses]

He didn't look like Harry had woken him up, he's seen Louis when he was just waking up and this certainly wasn't it. It seemed that he wasn't the only person having troubles sleeping, though they were probably for different reasons. Harry wanted to roll his eyes at the cocky smirk that adorned Louis' features, but at the same time - he wanted to wipe it away with his own lips. In a few strides, Harry had Louis gently (for the sake of a sleeping Danielle) pinned against the wall and him, the males hands taking each of Louis' wrists and pinning them at his sides before his own smirk made it's way to his lips. "Careful, Lou." Harry's voice is nothing but a dropped whisper, jerking his chin in the direction of Danielle, "Wouldn't want to wake up Danielle." Fire, this was literally playing with fire. The male falls silent for a moment, emerald hues on Louis as the memories of their rounds played out, his thumbs twirling circles onto Louis' skin. His bedroom wasn't too far away, it'd be so easy for him to just walk Louis in there but morals (did he even have any anymore?) stopped him as he gently releases the man, taking a step back. "Couldn't sleep either, hm?"

[ofalwaysyours]

"Oh, haven't you heard, darling? Mental health is such a small thing to sacrifice for piles of money," Lou teased, sarcasm dripping from his tone. This was his favorite part about Danielle, the part that he would never be able to give up. She had this calmness about her, one that made Louis feel completely at ease. It was easy to forget about the manipulation he was constantly forced to endure and the mental games he had to play with everyone else when he was with her. The taller man grinned into the kiss as she slipped into his embrace, holding her tightly for a few moments until her inquisitive nature got the best of her. A hand ran through his hair as he looked down to meet her gaze, sheepish smile on his just-kissed lips. "Harry came over to work things out the other night after the studio and ended up giving me quite the work out, is all." He sounded far more blasé than he felt, but he hoped that acting like it wasn't a huge deal would keep Dani calm.

[ofchaoticmuses]

"Right, silly me, how could I ever forget." She responds with a laugh. She could tell that he was in a much better mood than he had been the last couple of weeks and Danielle was happy to see it, though it did lead her to wonder just what it was that had him in the state of happiness. And then he's speaking, and Danielle froze. Her breath caught in her throat and for a few moments, she didn't say anything. Louis didn't have to tell her directly what he meant for her to understand. "Oh." She finally spoke, teeth sinking into the flesh of her cheek. She had to give it to him for how casual he was about it, and honestly Danielle wasn't mad about the act. Maybe a little upset that he hadn't told her before the act. Harry and Louis have had this sexual tension for so long she's gotten to the point where she was almost ready to shove them in a closet and tell them to itch the itch but there was more than just Danielle's heart at play here. There was Taylor, and Louis and Harry too. And now, possibly a baby. And that one little thought accompanied by the thought of Louis and Harry together brought tears to her eyes as she slid her hands down from his waist, crossing together as she held herself together. "Is it out of your system?" She dares the question, daring once again to allow for her dark watery hues to meet Louis' crystal blue ones. Brows pull together before she shakes her head, "I mean, it really wouldn't be, right? You guys have had this tension for years." She laughed, wiping at her eyes with the back of her sweater. "Sorry, I'm not sure why I'm getting worked up over this. I kind of expected something like this to happen." But that was a lie, wasn't it? "You know, since we're in the sway of dropping bombs, I might be pregnant." She didn't give him enough time to let that soak in as she carried on, not wanting to hear the rejection of what could come from it. She took a side step and walked around Louis, going to the kitchen to make some tea. "Was it good?" She asks, lifting eyes to meet Louis as she prepares some water.

[ofalwaysyours]

Lou was still in a good mood. It was a rare occurence but things were seeming to be on a bit of an upswing. He and Danielle were on the same page about quite a few things, he had worked things out with Harry, and he had a plan to keep that situation a permanent fixture in his life. There was nothing anyone could say right now that was going to drag him down. He feigns shock as he walks to see Zayn in the kitchen, a hand pressed to his chest. "Is that...no, it can't be. Is that the great Zayn Malik daring to darken my doorway with his presence?" he teased, hopping up to take a seat on the counter. "Thought you'd be busy romancing your actress. Or are you into washed up popstars these days? Hard to keep up with your life via pap photos, mate."

[ofchaoticmuses]

He was going to miss this. He loved the lads, massively. He didn't favor one over the other, loved them all in their own ways. But Louis, Louis had always been the one to take the heat off of them when things got too serious, he'd say something stupid or snarky and no one could stay mad when that happened. Darken his doorway. Oh, Louis, how right you are on that. He laughs, cracking open the soda. "My actress is consoling a friend right now." As soon as he was done here, he'd make his way home for the talk they promised each other. Zayn lifts a brow in Louis' direction, "She used to be our friend, mate." Zayn reminded him, "But no. I was just trying to help her." He tilts his head to the side then, "Though I'm not sure you're in the place to talk about love lives at the moment." He jests with a laugh, looking around for Louis actress. "There's something I need to talk to you about." All teasing and joking left his tone as he grew serious.

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: yeah he told me the day it happened. then went to see her. i trust him but it just...sucks. Candice: i know but i guess i get what hes saying. its a big thing to not know Candice: ok now youre scaring me

[ofchaoticmuses]

Danielle: that's awful timing. i'm sorry you're going through all of this. Danielle: yeah but it's something you get to decide to tell someone on your own time. is it the fact that you didn't tell him, or that joseph is around? Danielle: ahhh, i think i might be pregnant.

[ofalwaysyours]

A wave of guilt washed over her as he mentioned the cameras that were out tonight, but she forced herself to keep that same tiny smile on her lips. "Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that," she lied easily, moving out of the way so that he can slip inside and closing the door behind him. Kali was grateful that he had kept his word about being there for her but now that he was actually in her hotel room, she wasn't quite sure how to speak to him. A lot had changed since the days that she would spend any and all extra time with the boys and the brunette was hardly the same person anymore. "How..." she started before clearing her throat and pushing on. "How was your day? How's Cathy?" The dig at Candice was intentional, of course. Kali knew that blonde's name but pretending she wasn't insanely jealous of the other girl helped her ego at least for a few minutes.

[ofchaoticmuses]

Zayn knew Kali - no, no. That's not true. He knew the old Kali. The one that came back to them wasn't the one that they were great friends with. She came back more distant, colder even. Candice's texts flitted through his mind for a mere moment before he flashes Kali a smile as he sheds off his coat once inside. "No room service? Terrible hosting skills you've got here, love." He teases, the ease of a smile on his lips. He was hoping to keep things light, but she just had to say what she did. "Candice is fine. She's out with a friend right now." He answers, "My day is also fine." He wasn't going to dive into his fights with her. "But we're not here to discuss how my day is, or how my girlfriend is." He could have easily said Candice, but he felt as if he needed to reiterate to her that he had a girlfriend. "I'm here for you. So." Zayn leans against the sturdy counter, "What's been going on?"

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: she kissed z Candice: and hes mad at me Candice: i finally told him about the whole almost baby thing and it didnt go great and i just feel like shit about it all Candice: womanhood? like punching your boobies for daring to take up space on your chest?

[ofchaoticmuses]

Danielle: She what?! What a little conniving bitch. Danielle: I don't think he should be mad at you about that. That happened before you and him, and that's not exactly something that comes up on the first date. It was traumatizing for you, you not bringing it up makes sense. Danielle: Well you know how I always joked about getting a boob job? I might not need to pay for one if what I'm suspecting is true.

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: kali. and kind of zayn. and kind of joseph. and kind of me too. Candice: who am i fighting for you??

[ofchaoticmuses]

Danielle: I think I can take her. What'd she do? I'll fight all of them but not you, what happened? Danielle: Does fighting womanhood make any sense?

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: lol i was literally about to text you the exact same thing

[ofchaoticmuses]

Danielle: Oof, today's a day huh? Danielle: Who am I fighting for you?

[ofalwaysyours]

It had felt so final to say goodbye to Zayn before she left to see Joseph, mostly because the blonde knew that her boyfriend had his own mission to attend to as well and she wasn't super keen on him spending time with Kali. It was less the fact that she had tried to kiss him and more the fact that Candice knew that Kali would do a lot more than kiss him if Z had a moment of weakness. She forced herself to push that thought out of her mind as she walked up to Joseph's door. She knew that Zayn didn't want her to be here; as suspected, he hadn't been thrilled that she had hid the baby bomb from him for so long. It made her anxious to know that he was probably still upset at her while he was with a very vulnerable Kali and she was with Joseph. Joseph, who was perfect and looked handsome as ever as he opened his door. The smell from inside wafted over her and she couldn't help but give him a genuine grin. "Thanks for having me," she answered, shrugging of her coat as she stepped inside. Why was it that coming back to his place felt almost like coming home? "Whatever that is smells amazing," she admitted, pulling off her boots as well so as not to track the London mud through his place. "Are you feeling better today at all?" @ofchaoticmuses

[ofchaoticmuses]

The male offers the blonde a smile as he closes the door behind her. "How are you faring with the London weather?" He asks, a laugh emitting past lips. "Ah, Italian." He smiles, "I made some home made pasta and some sauce, and a caesar salad." When he wanted to get his mind off of things, he took to cooking. Because then he was too preoccupied with how much of what he needed to add, when to put it in and take it out and the like. He didn't have room for anything else. "Better as opposed to what?" He asks, a brow lifted as they jumped right into the conversation.

[ofchaoticmuses]

Danielle: Please tell me you're free to talk. @ofalwaysyours

[ofchaoticmuses]

Holding in what he's been thinking of doing for awhile now wasn't doing him any good. If anything, it was just making him... intolerable. He needed to talk to someone about it. And that's what led Zayn to the front door of Louis' and Harry's apartment. He decided that he'd tell Harry first - out of the lot of them, he felt like Harry would be able to understand more than the rest. Harry possessed the same independence that Zayn had and it surprised the male that he hasn't yet to leave the band himself. He didn't bother knocking as he walked into the apartment (there wasn't anything he hasn't seen before). "Harry?" He calls, "Lou? Someone home?" And right away, Zayn made himself at home, grabbing himself a drink from the fridge while he waited. | @ofalwaysyours

[ofalwaysyours]

While Lou was positive that Harry was shaking in his boots to tell blondie about their night together, the older man didn't have that same issue. Danielle had almost zero faults and she was far more understanding than anyone could ever expect her to be with Lou's incredibly complicated feelings. "Mm, you know that the label doesn't believe in letting us rest," he only half-joked as he pulled his jumper off and walked behind the brunette on the ladder, beckoning her down. "C'mere, I wanna kiss you properly," he said softly, making his way back to solid ground. He had to admit that clearing the air with Harry had done wonders for his mood but he felt bad that he knew it was going to hurt Danielle that he didn't okay it with her first. "I think Harold and I would both agree that you can decorate however you want, given recent events." If he tried to just act casual about it, that would help...right?

[ofchaoticmuses]

"Oh, right." Danielle hums with a laugh, "Because working the worlds biggest boyband into the ground is just the way to go." It was safe to say that Danielle was not a fan of their label or management. From turning off mics during a concert, to controlling their personal lives and treating them as if they were robots. For the most part, she's bitten her tongue. But the moment their wellbeing was put into serious question, they'd hear it from her. Once the snowflake was successfully in place, Danielle was careful to make her way down the ladder, facing Louis then as her arms snaked around his waist, smile gracing her features before leaning up just a bit to kiss him. "Welcome home." She hums as she pulls back some. A brow raised then, Danielle knew Louis. Knew exactly when he was opening up something to discuss without outwardly saying it, "Recent events being...?"

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: i know its different but she scares me. the way she looks at you is not friendly Candice: well i wanna hear what you have to say. talk when we get home? a real talk?

[ofchaoticmuses]

Zayn: like, i'm going to end up on a 'where is he now?' poster kind of not friendly? i'll be okay, i promise. Zayn: i think we can absolutely do a real talk when we get home.

[ofalwaysyours]

Kali still didn't feel like herself. She knew that being in London was a punishment imposed on her by her manager, and it was one that she resented very much. Having to get good media attention was the constant mission and she knew that Zayn was walking in through of a sea of photographers that would be selling his photo to the gossip rags in time for the morning post. She knew the headline would be that he had left Candice for her. She knew that her google searches would skyrocket tomorrow because of it. After all, she was the one that had called the paps to wait for him. She almost felt guilty...almost. The knock on her door pulled her out of her thoughts an she opened the door with a shaky smile. "Hi, Z."

[ofchaoticmuses]

On his way over to Kali's, Zayn had to fight to not think about the fight (?) that he and Candice had previously had. If he was thinking clearly, he would have stayed home or went to the studio to work on some of his solo stuff, not go to the woman who had kissed him a mere couple days ago. Surely, that wouldn't have sent the best message to Candice. "Hey." He puts on a smile as Kali opens the door, "Sorry I'm late. The paps are vultures tonight." No way in hell was Zayn going to tell Kali about the fight he and Candice had.

[ofalwaysyours]

Candice: im not doing anything other than comforting a friend in need. same as you. Candice: im sorry too for not telling you sooner. i want to be able to tell you anything. i just didnt want you to hate me for it the way i hate myself for doing it

[ofchaoticmuses]

Zayn: a friend that you almost had a family with. kali and i are nothing like that. Zayn: i could never hate you, especially over that. i know you feel that way, and i promise you - i have so much more to say about that, but i don't want to do it over text. Zayn: however, i do miss you too.