❝ voices in my head. ❞

MEMORY'S SO TREACHEROUS. ONE MOMENT YOU'RE LOST IN A CARNIVAL OF DELIGHTS, WITH POIGNANT CHILDHOOD AROMAS , THE FLASHING NEON OF PUBERTY, ALL THAT SENTIMENTAL CANDY-FLOSS ... THE NEXT , IT LEADS YOU SOMEWHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO... ...SOMEWHERE DARK AND COLD, FILLED WITH THE DAMP, AMBIGUOUS SHAPES OF THINKS YOU'D HOPED WERE FORGOTTEN. MEMORIES CAN BE VILE, REPULSIVE LITTLE BRUTES. LIKE CHILDREN, I SUPPOSE. HAHA. BUT CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT THEM? MEMORIES ARE WHAT OUR REASON IS BASED UPON. IF WE CAN'T FACE THEM, WE DENY REASON ITSELF! ALGHOUGH, WHY NOT? WE AREN'T CONTRACTUALLY TIED DOWN TO RATIONALITY! THERE IS NO SANITY CLAUSE! SO WHEN YOU FIND YOURSELF LOCKED ONTO AN UNPLEASANT TRAIN OF THOUGHT, HEADING FOR THE PLACES IN YOUR PAST WHERE THE SCREAMING IS UNBEARABLE, REMEMBER THERE'S ALWAYS MADNESS. MADNESS IS THE EMERGENCY EXIT... YOU CAN JUST STEP OUTSIDE, AND CLOSE THE DOOR ON ALL THOSE DREADFUL THINGS THAT HAPPENED. YOU CAN LOCK THEM AWAY... FOREVER.

[readersleepingintheforest]

[ofdanny]

hi my loves things have been crazy lately but im gonna try my hardest to get these replies to you mmmmmk luvu

[ofdanny]

it’s 1 am.....and i have school and work tmrw im gonna die........ rip me i’m going to bed but i will have the rest of my replies done for y’all !! gn

[ofdanny]

perfectlys:

“my mom said persistence is a great thing to have.” he replied with a playful smirk before shaking his head at her words, hands shoving into his pockets as he let out a sigh. he could easily tell her his name, but the thought of her not recognizing it scared him. he didn’t want to face the reality that he may have never meant anything to her. “wonderboys nice. i like it.” he replied with shrugged shoulders. “and i’ll call you damsel.” he added with a smirk. “mainly because i know you can’t stand it. you’re cute when you’re angry.”

   “i--- you---” for the first time in a long time, words escaped her. and she loathed it. “i am not cute when i’m angry!” her arms straightened to her sides aggressively as if to make her as tall as him. her teeth clamped together as if to try and hold herself together. three, two, one... she can’t let him get under her skin the way he does already. it wasn’t worth the time. this would all be over in all of ten minutes if she hurried enough. “alright, wonderboy i’m just going to ignore your little comment and move on from it.” as if that made her the bigger person, which was nearly impossible in all aspects. she gazed upward at him. “why are you here anyway?”

[ofdanny]

frcnetic:

      “what is a-” but before vance could protest or ask anymore questions, this stranger had just bought him a drink. and the half-filled glass was practically taunting him. if he refused, he would waste the drink. and look like a loser the first night he got here. but if he accepted, he’d have no idea how he’d react, especially with the alcohol he’s downed already in his system. vance wet his lips and eyed the boy and the drink, repeatedly for a few moments, before quickly tacking a swig. and it was just as horrific as he imagined. “for fuck’s sake!” he hissed. “why?”

   a snort escaped from him followed by a thick laugh. it wasn’t that bad was it? the best in its industry without a doubt. but, maybe offering it to a rum-and-coke guy wasn’t the smartest idea. definitely the funnier scenario between letting him drink it rather than having him not. “guess i forgot that it had some kick. hopefully t’ll get some hair on that chest for ya” his hand slapped down on the others back playfully. “i’ll take that for ya.” dragging the cup to his lips, daniel finished it in two swallows. his heart would break if he wasted something as prized as this. “daniel, by the way. i’m daniel.” he murmured, eyeing the now empty glass.

[ofdanny]

perfectlys:

his brows furrowed in confusion as he heard her refer to him as a stranger. they, at one point in time, were inseparable. but he supposed a lot has changed since then. god knows she looks like a completely different girl. but he could never forget those eyes. not even if he wanted to. “i think i’ll take my chances.” mason spoke, deciding not to make her feel uncomfortable about forgetting him. after all, whose to say she would remember him anyways? they were only kids back then. “besides, my mom always taught me never to let a lady walk alone. the streets of oregon are pretty creepy.” he joked, knowing this town was safer than most.

   her features screwed up, bemused. “your mama ever tell you that you’re too persistent?” obviously not. or maybe she did and he just persisted to persist. that sounded more like him. “oh yes,” she feigned. “the streets of medford, oregon are notorious for their gangs and crime activity.” she sighed heavily through her nose. there was no shaking this one. so, she would just have to tolerate until she could. the corners of her mouth deepened into a frown. that seemed ages away. her eyes traced over his features once. then twice. something about him seemed... familiar. her eyes narrowed. “i’m no damsel, i hope you know that wonderboy.” all the boys around here looked the same. that must be it. “ but, if you must then let’s hurry up and get this over with.” her feet finally regained their pace again and, as expected, the boy stayed by her side. “are you going to make me ask for your name, or am i just going to call you wonderboy for the rest of this walk?”

[ofdanny]

frcnetic:

      just like that his attitude changed. from kind to stern. he was obviously dealing with something up his ass. not that juno truly cared, it was just entertaining to pry things with this dude. “okay,” she ignored his comment, “bringing them to a camp is a little strange. and good divorce isn’t something i’ve ever heard of. but okay.” she sounded like she wasn’t buying it, and that was true. juno ignored his question next, only stared back at him as they walked slowly. he was trying to intimidate her. this guy didn’t seem like the type to hurt a small girl. but she didn’t know him. and her cystic fibrosis was being awfully quiet at the moment to prove to this dude she was, in fact, terminally ill. and that’d be some fucked up shit to intimidate or hurt the sick, sob-story she was.       “why are you here?” she finally asked after their mini stare-off. “for the nostalgia? the views? the sweet pollen-infiltrated air? if you tell me your reason, i’ll share mine honestly. if you give a damn.”

   “answer three: the sweet pollen-infiltrated air. obviously.” he wanted to ditch the conversation altogether. this was a waste of time, and she obviously was only going to pry deeper. if he left now, though, it would come across extremely suspicious and he only just got here. no need to raise any brows yet. “no, obviously not that. it’s mainly to clear my head. get away from all the noise back home. with the divorce and all.” divorce and all. thank god he was a decent liar otherwise he would’ve cracked a smile by now. the bullshit he was spewing was shocking even him. but if he was completely honest with himself, he knew he wasn’t fooling her... this nosy girl. at this point he had to make a choice... keep up the lie or confront her. the smart choice would be to keep up his weak ass lie. “look,” he halted his pace only to turn on the balls of his feet to look down on her. “you’re not stupid and we both know that. what do you know or what are you trying to learn?” guess we’re taking the dumb choice.

[ofdanny]

perfectlys:

mason crossed his arms over his chest as he listened to the female. it was rude of him to grin the way he was, as if he was watching the most entertaining show in history. but something about how angry she got made him laugh. it brought him back to when they were younger. whenever the slightest inconvenience happened she would throw a fit. of course he was always there to try and make her feel better though. even if it was just him offering her one of his lollipops. or even a toy he cherished. her smile was far more beautiful than the angry eyes she had been wearing this entire morning. as she got up to leave he left some cash on the table, including a large tip for the waitress who had to endure laureline’s wrath. “hey! wait up!” the male called out as he chased after the brunette. “let me walk with you. we’re going to the same place.” he explained as he finally reached her side.

   hearing the familiar voice call for her only made her pick up her pace. could her small legs move any faster? but before she could even complete the thought the oversized boy was already by her side. sheesh. what did his parents feed him? “okay,” she paused. “we’re going to the same place, but does that mean we should walk together?” it would’ve been an open-ended question, but his past history says he isn’t very good with those. “the correct answer is ‘no’, genius.” every three, strained steps she took was a breezy, one and a half step for him and it made her burn inside. well, outrunning him was out of the question. “didn’t i just yell at you? in fact,” her heels skidded to a stop. “you don’t even know me. why on on earth would you want to walk with some stranger that just told you off?” shifting her weight onto one foot, her arms crossed against her cheat defensively once more. “i could be crazy, you know.” she jabbed his arm once with her index finger. “i could have twenty-seven different personalities. still wanna walk with me?”

[ofdanny]

delilvhs:

“ something like that, i suppose. ” a coy smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. they were both secretive people. delilah knew how to keep a secret, how to sew her lips shut & endure the pain the act caused. she could THANK her parents for that ( one of the very few things she could thank them for. ) but todd? she was intrigued, she wanted to know more. “ thank you, i most certainly will. ” a laugh spilled from her lips as she settled further into the bed. dragging her gaze up his torso, her eyebrows lifted slightly. two could play at this game. leaning forward in an inquisitorial manner, lilah made sure that her bikini top showed off her assets satisfactorily. “ no. it’s sleep, meditate, snort. ” she rolled her eyes as if to say: duh. “ well, you know what? i’m rather comfortable here. so, no, i think i’ll stay put. ” pursing her lips, she glanced around the cabin quickly, before her gaze landed back on the boy. “ speaking of snorting, you wouldn’t want to do me a tiny favour, would you? ”

   a heavy huff released from him. he should’ve known better than to think that someone like her would do something oh-so-simple. like give him his damn shirt. momentarily, his eyes shifted to the curves of her chest then back up. was she really teasing him right now? he wanted to laugh, but resisted the urge. like said already: he should’ve known better. “you? asking for a favor? unheard of.” he murmured. taking his large palm, the male lifted the girl from underneath her thigh, squeezing it a bit more than he should, and tugged his tee from underneath her. “what do you want, barbie?” it was more of a groan than a legit question. 

[ofdanny]

perfectlys:

masons fingers moved to rub his chin, trying his very hardest to fight the laugh that wanted to desperately to escape his lips. she was a firecracker, you could tell in the way she carried herself. as if she owned the place. as if the world owed her something for the way she had been treated. when the small girl turned to him he put his hands up in surrender, his head shaking from side to side as he let out a soft chuckle. “i think you’re being a little harsh considering this is the only coffee shop around for miles.” he pointed out before shrugging his shoulders and reaching in his wallet for a five dollar bill. “but if you leave the poor waitress alone i’ll give you the refund myself.”

   ugh. truly she could’ve audibly gagged. but, that wouldn’t have been very ladylike. her nose quickly twisted up at the males offer. he was letting her off easy and that practically made laureline seething. how could he compensate for someone who clearly is incompetent at their job. her mouth tightened into a thin line. “save it. i don’t want your money.” and he was laughing at her. perfect. “well, i’m glad you find amusement in my inconvenience.” her nostrils flared furiously. this was the last thing she needed. “i’ll just make my own damn coffee.” she muttered. sliding out of her seat, her hand snatched her bag from the booth and threw it onto her shoulder. her eyes met the waitress’s and they narrowed as she brushed past her. sure, maybe she was a bit out of line this time, but she would never break down to admit it. “enjoy your five dollar coffee!” she waved without taking a second glance at the boy, shoving the front door open. it’s unusual chime rang off and it made her cringe. nothing about that place was appealing. well, maybe the boy... but that was neither here or there. she needed to find her cabin, and fast before anyone else tried to ruin her day even more.

[ofdanny]

poisonedivy:

ivy could tell that the last thing the male wanted was pity, so she nodded in understanding while keeping a soft smile on her face. she walked into the outside heat and turned to face the tall silhouette as she waited for him to catch up with her, the sun catching her pale skin and making it seem like she was glowing. “my dad overdosed when i was 13, then my mom bailed and i have no idea where she is. i don’t really know why i’m here.” she shrugged off any emotion that would come with her stating her past and began to walk.

   the corners of his mouth tugged downward. “well, i’m sorry for your loss. for both of them.” sad case. he could try to relate but his story was completely different from hers. so different that she probably wouldn’t believe him. he sighed heavily, maybe he shouldn’t have taken this route in conversation. “well, maybe you’re here for answers, or... maybe even closure.” his pace slowed as they reached another one of the cabin doors. “either way, you’ll find your answer. i’m sure.”

[ofdanny]

   the mug that her fingers once held slammed onto the counter with a thud, coffee droplets sloshing over the sides of the cup. “breathe, girl, breathe...” did she not ask for a hot, caramel coffee with three creams and two sugars? first they up-ed the price on the coffee even though just yesterday it was four bucks ( now five ) but they also messed up her coffee order for the third time. no, this would not do. “uh, excuse me?” she cleared her throat one good time. maybe this waitress was hard of hearing. maybe she needed to speak louder. “this coffee isn’t right--- again. it taste horrible and frankly i don’t want it anymore. i would like a refund.” her arms crossed her chest almost pridefully. if looks could kill this waitress would have died five minutes ago. she knew she shouldn’t have come to this town. she needed to be home, with her father. not in some ditch place in oregon. “ma’am, i can’t---” the brunettes brows shot up, silencing the other before they could continue. “can’t what? i think i deserve this refund.” damn straight she was going to get this refund even if it was the last thing she ever did. her petite frame twisted in her seat giving the stranger seated behind her a pointed look. “you think i deserve this refund, right? i mean,” she shrugged. “it only seems fair, am i wrong?” her gaze shifted between the waitress and the stranger impatiently. “well?”

[ofdanny]

   ok so hi, here is my baby laureline rip i’ve been gone all day yikes but i’m here for a bit now !! i’m gonna try and write this as fast as possible so pls bare with me and here we gooo

HELLO my name is ( LAURELINE DAWSON ). people often mistake me for ( DANIELLE CAMPBELL ). i find this very silly but people also tell me i’m ( PROTECTIVE ) and ( CYNICAL ). i am born in ( MEDFORD, OREGON ) but i still live in ( BROOKLYN, NEW YORK ). if there’s one song that describes me the most it’d have to be ( ISSUES BY JUILA MICHAELS ).  — ( tay, nineteen, she/her, est ) 

triggers: death, drinking, abandonment

when laureline was a girl, she was an extremely happy; her parents were madly in love, and their family was warm and whole. as she got older her family started to slowly fall apart. her parents fought every night, her father lost his job and started drinking quite heavily, and one night her mother packed her things and left. at the age of eight it was all a slight blur to laureline since she was so young, but she'll never forgive her mother for leaving her.

child services stepped in, claiming her father as unfit to care for her, so for eight years she floated from foster home to foster home until her father cleaned himself up enough to win her back from the court. she then lived with her father again, who very easily fell back into his old habits of drinking and sleeping, thus leaving her with all of the responsibilities. she paid for the bills and cared for the both of them as much as she could. he showed her no affection, and they hardly interact; she'd thought about leaving, but she couldn’t bring herself to--- somewhere along the line she slowly turned into a daddy's girl and she hated that about herself.

eventually her and her father started to rekindle their relationship, but only to an extent. he is trying to ease up on the drinking and listens to her more. he’s also looking for a job now.

instead of going with her to the cabins like he promised he backed out at the last second saying that he ‘didn’t want his old friends seeing him like this’. of course, laureline was peeved, but went anyways to please her father.

okay so that’s the gist of her history kind of ?? laureline is pessimistic, cynical, and sarcastic. she has horrible trust issues and she refuses to break down her walls for anyone; even if she feels that she can trust someone she'll replace those feelings with defense. her passion is her outlet, which is anything art related, and she wouldn't give it up for the world !!

okay so that’s pretty much it !! i’m gonna be making some wanted connections for her a little later and you can check for them here if you wanna see that !! thanks for reading !!

[gambinaw]

[amyjacob]

#mood

[amstcrdam-archived]

“She was a compulsive pessimist, always looking for the soft brown spot in the fruit, pressing so hard she created it.”

— Amy Waldman | The Submission (via blogut)

[supremeren-archive-blog]

ok firstly I’m traumatized, not crazy, so jot that down