GUILT FATED

independent & selective ALEC LIGHTWOOD of the SHADOWHUNTERS tv show _______ canon divergent multiverse && multiship 18 + / death / violence untagged triggers READ REGULATIONS!

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( i may come back to this blog, i may not. we’ll see what happens. )

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i’m going to be MIA for a couple of days, because of family things. i might check in here and there if i have the time. my blog will stay free of political drama, for my sanity and the sanity of others. all i will say on the subject is: i am so sorry, America.

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with all the political bullshit on my dash, i’m going to duck out for a day or two, because i find there’s way too much insensitivity and negativity, and i’m too happy for that shit. if i wanted to see a non stop politics show, i’d watch the news. so on that note, if anyone else is trying to avoid the bull, just at at me here via message and we can chat on skype. i’ll be trying to keep this blog politics free for my own sanity, and the sanity of others.

[aleclightwoodisgay]

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aleclightwoodisgay:

shadowhunters + texts (3/?) // part 1 / part 2

[mallec]

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mallec:

⎯⎯ amie kaufman, illuminae

[pridefulmagick]

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                                One can give up many things for love,                                      but should not give up oneself.

[ofdishonor-blog2]

@ragewrought is almost done so i’m going to be lurking here for a bit while i work on tagging system. if anyone wants a starter send me an im or a message, i’d like to get alec doing some more.

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im going to be on skype while i absently work on ragewrought

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( MAGNUS. )

ÂĿЄXÂИÐЄR | x

✶╰ ⌇  there was so much blood, so much damage that had been done to such a small body. there was no way that he could fix her, but that didn’t stop the warlock from trying, and in doing so emptying nearly all of his power into saving her. in times like these his humanity shined so bright it outweighed the demonic blood that gave him the power to give or take life. it didn’t matter though, no matter how much determination he had in playing the hero for this girl. she would slip away through his fingers like so many other souls he had tried to save in the past.

as his body started to fail him, strength was offered in a new form, as an arm circled around him and offered something magnus hadn’t known he needed. the kiss was a cool humming energy against his temple, causing his gaze to lift from the body of the child, to the eyes of the man next to him. strangled words reflected the weakness left after this chaos.

                                ❛ i tried… ❜

( ➶ ) —                 the guilt that was running through ALEC was pale in comparison to what MAGNUS would feel. alec didn’t know the child, had no attachment to her and while he felt BAD for letting her die, he felt worse that the warlock would have to suffer the AFTERSHOCK. alec sighed heavily while letting himself be a support, urging the man to lean some of himself against his frame. fingers rolled up and down along the soft fabric at the others upper arm, giving reassuring AFFECTION; something alec wasn’t particularly GOOD at. ❝ i know, but we have to GO. ❞ they couldn’t stay, the CHAOS had only just begun. alec needed to get back to the institute and regroup with the others -- but he wouldn’t leave magnus here to sink.

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( IZZY. )

ÂĿЄXÂИÐЄR

✶╰ ⌇  izzy could be so quiet in her heels if she wanted to be, but right now she made sure to make as much sound as possible, giving her brother enough time to pull himself together if he needed. as she turned the corner and faced him, a very faint smile settled on the corners of her lips. it wasn’t due to being happy so much as wanting to bring something positive with her as she approached him.

                                ❛ how are you holding up, alec? ❜

( ➶ ) —                 TERRIBLY; the answer was.  ❝  fine.  ❞ was the only lie he could muster. his shoulders were as strong as ever, back carrying the weight of it all. alec could CHOKE it down and bury it deep, but izzy was always the one to go digging. giving a heavy sigh he shifted his gaze from the paperwork up to his sister; she meant well, but he wasn’t up for it.

        ❝  i promise. ❞

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( UNKNOWN. )

@ofdishonor.

                    Though the action a bit too cliché-like – she stands in front of a closed shop, carefully contemplating her countenance vaguely mirrored in the window’s glass. Hours were spent on preparation: hair falls in soft waves, eyes framed in dark colour, and her dress looks silken and smooth. And it isn’t until the light flickers while another bunch of passengers walk by that her gaze shifts into another direction and, without altering her posture, focuses on a reflection that moves just slightly slower than the rest. “ Without implicating you, ” she says then, barely loud enough to be noticed by anyone further away than five feet, “ do I look fuckable? Or at least, you know, makeoutable? Haven’t had one of those time-consuming dates in a while —- ”

                                        Since Cisco, at least, and although Trenton’s growing quite dear to her heart, Darlene doubts highly that she’d respond to a such question in any other way than with horror.

( ➶ ) —                 the young man had the tendency to do his business at NIGHT when the streets were quiet and there weren’t people to BOTHER him... however antisocial that was. tonight was no exception, he needed to head to the 24hr PHARMACY and pick up some medication. what made the night different, was the woman that called out to -- well, it HAD to be him. alec stopped dead in his tracks before canting his head, looking around to see if ANYONE else was lingering... what kind of QUESTION was that to ask a stranger? ❝ im not interested; ❞ alec never claimed to be socially ADEPT. assuming the girl to be a HOOKER should have proved he was as far from as one could be. 

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( @demonveiined )

FROM HERE //

( ➶ ) —                 the weight on his shoulders felt heavier than usual, the fate of the word was FOGGY and unsure; it seemed that things were spiraling out of control, and for whatever reason, alec felt a thick GUILT for the events that had transpired. mentally, and physically, he was DRAINED -- but, there was no rest for the wicked. even now, alec tended to RECOIL from affection, but he let his chin rest heavy on magnus’ hands,   ❝ i don’t know how much more i can take. ❞ his body was failing him; it took everything he was not to curl into a coma and sleep the war away.

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( MAX. )

max couldn’t help the small grin from escaping his lips as he heard that alec had agreed to take him out. it would be fun in max’s eyes and she would make his brother like it too. it would be his own mission to make that happen. grinning lightly, he followed behind his brother, the grin still resting upon his lips.”i DON’T exactly know what we’re meant to be doing..knocking on houses i guess? and of course mom and dad know that we’re going out.”the latter was a lie.”and i’m not making you take me out.”

( ➶ ) —                  max was still a child, he couldn’t FAULT the boy for wanting more than what was given; isabella had always been the same. alec, however, had given up on that fancy so many years ago. truth be told, he needed to spend a little more time with his brother, and however ANNOYING he found the mundane culture to be, it was a good excuse to get out of the institute. ❝ it seems DANGEROUS and stupid to go get candy from STRANGERS houses. let’s go get this done before it gets too DARK. ❞

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magnus is dead.

                     DESTROY MY MUSE                                    ⤹  sent in! 

                                               (  FILED UNDER | au )

(➶)—                everything had frozen in that moment. his lungs wouldn’t INHALE, heart wouldn’t BEAT, body stiffened and every muscle TIGHTENED, at first he couldn’t believe the words, but why would isabella lie to him -- about T H A T of all things. alec’s face was a blank canvas, the shock wiping all EXPRESSION from him.  ❝ i’m busy, isabella. ❞ his words DRY and emotionless; alec didn’t feel like much of a man normally, but now even less so. his gaze returned to the paperwork before him, but his focus was elsewhere, thoughts rushing through all the things he’d WANTED to say; the things he REGRETTED not doing. the moments he wished he could have done differently.                    & now he’d never get the chance.

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whispers alec lets himself be seen one way; alec lightwood. obedient to his family. honor bound to the cause. loyal to a fault. which is why magnus calls him alexander, because he knows there’s so much more to the boy than the name he wears, and how he wears it.

[tarjeisandvik-deactivated201802]

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raphaelbane:

alec giving magnus his bow and quiver

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out of arrows! ➾ alright im going to go be miserable elsewhere. i’ll check in tomorrow.