the situation was almost comical — he’d gotten to know doe quite well and she was the last person he’d imagined to see with a killing stick rolled between her fingers. not that he cared, much — though james wasn’t much of a smoker himself, he did occasionally try to smoke cigars in the same way his father did. his gaze fell toward the floor, watching as she flicked some of the ashes off the tip, the cigarette seeming unnatural in her hands. everyone was on edge these days, that much was obvious. the usually high spirited streets of diagon alley were plagued with a feeling of unease and anxiety, and everyone was coping with it the best they knew how. in doe’s case, he supposed it must be cigarettes, no matter how hard she’d rallied against them in the past.
“ you’re right, ” james smiled half-heartedly, “ i do, ” he reached a hand out, a silent way of asking to take a drag for himself, while taking the opportunity to study her face. he supposed they all looked a bit worn out, their own friends from school dropping like flies. not dead, but missing — gone — and james wasn’t quite sure which was worse. “ how’ve you been holding up ? ”
her surprise at the lack of judgement from james came in her elongated sigh, her shoulders, which had tensed in preparation for it, now falling back down. dorcas remembered how she’d reacted when james had tried smoking in her presence-- remembered the indignation she’d felt at the sight of the cigarette between his fingers. how she despised these instruments of addiction even now, and battled with her own judgement of herself. the fact that james hadn’t espoused her thoughts was-- comforting, but also slightly annoying. she’d anticipated the condemnation, and even if she didn’t realize it, wanted it. wanted to be told this wasn’t okay and be made to stop, knowing that her own brain had failed at it.
she studied james’ face just as he did hers, her own distaste for the thing in her hands coming back to the surface. what the fuck are you doing, james? her brain wanted to reply, but another part of her reminded how hypocritical that response was. how could she admonish him for something she was doing? she bit her lip hard, not wanting to let james fall into her own vice, but being unable to be critical of him for doing it anyway, and handed him the smoke. she looked up at him again, the answer seeming evident by the habit she was performing, but she shrugged, letting her face fall, devoid of any tension or thought that came into her brain, “ as well as can be expected, I suppose. ” she rubbed her index finger against her middle finger as her eyes drew to the crowd around them, studying the happenings of diagon alley. merlin, she hated this place. “ are you alright, though? what with ... ” she let the sentence fall, assuming he’d know who she was referring to. she’d never been extremely close to peter, but he was her housemate and someone she’d spent a lot of time with; someone she might have considered a friend, even if they didn’t hang out much outside of their shared personal connections.
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