Official Doug Eiffel Fan Club 😎

Communications Officer Doug Eiffel on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus || He/Him

[officer-eiffel-comms-hail]

Heeeeello, dear listeners. Dougie here , your favorite intergalactic operator from this side of the Leo constellation. I guess I figured, “if I was able to phone in one distant star system, why not try for a few more, try to really diversify our audience?” Hell, maybe this call’ll collect questions and/or requests all the way from Earth! Anyway, you know what to do— gimme a call back if you wanna make things happen.

Doug Eiffel rp blog, please please please let me talk as him I’ve been wanting to do this for ages lmao

Main is a secret :)

[officer-eiffel-comms-hail]

Hello?

Lambda Sigma Sector, Bearing Eighteen, is there anyone out there?

(@communicationsofficerslambert)

Wh—??

What the hell? Oh my god, is this actually?

… Wait. That sounds like the same system we’re using. I just checked that sector, how come they—? I thought the closest team out here was over near…

Oh, wait. Maybe I should actually… do my job and say something.

Um… hello? Anyone, here… uh— human anyones. I guess that doesn’t matter unless we’re looking for the same thing… we’re all human here, right?

[communicationsofficerslambert]

What do you mean "we're all human here"?

A) Of course I'm human, why on Earth else would I be doing the D.S.A.L.S.? And B) That is an incredibly suspicious thing to say if I weren't already certain that you must be another Goddard Futuristics employee. There's no one else up here with such sophisticated comms tech; we must have just gotten too close to one another.

What ship are you hailing from?

[officer-eiffel-comms-hail]

Huh… I dunno whether to be disappointed or relieved. I just hadn’t heard of another outpost being set up around here, is all— didn’t mean to make things all Men At Work.

Uh— anyway, this is the U.S.S. Hephaestus! Honestly, it’s a miracle you decided to intercept our frequency when you did, we could really use a hand, here. Where exactly are you guys phoning in from?

[officer-eiffel-comms-hail]

Hello?

Lambda Sigma Sector, Bearing Eighteen, is there anyone out there?

(@communicationsofficerslambert)

Wh—??

What the hell? Oh my god, is this actually?

… Wait. That sounds like the same system we’re using. I just checked that sector, how come they—? I thought the closest team out here was over near…

Oh, wait. Maybe I should actually… do my job and say something.

Um… hello? Anyone, here… uh— human anyones. I guess that doesn’t matter unless we’re looking for the same thing… we’re all human here, right?

[officer-eiffel-comms-hail]

Eiffel! Working hard or hardly pretending to work? I could hear you slacking off from three decks away.

Ohdeargod—

Colonel Kepleeerrr…! How,, convenient to find you checking up on me right after launching this… totally professional and in line with our mission objectives thing that I’m doing!

Yyyyep… tooootally working on something like that! Which was… what am I supposed to be doing again, exactly?

[keplerswhisky]

Oh, I don't know. Why don't you tell me, communications officer?

Though, if your official duties now include loitering, whining, and whatever...this is, then I may have seriously overestimated your purpose for this mission. Other than being a pain in my ass, of course.

[officer-eiffel-comms-hail]

Whaaaat? I’m totally being purposeful! I just mean— y’know, you’re the one that gives the orders around here, maybe I just… need a refresher! Because—! I have… so many… things I’m on top of?

[officer-eiffel-comms-hail]

Eiffel! Working hard or hardly pretending to work? I could hear you slacking off from three decks away.

Ohdeargod—

Colonel Kepleeerrr…! How,, convenient to find you checking up on me right after launching this… totally professional and in line with our mission objectives thing that I’m doing!

Yyyyep… tooootally working on something like that! Which was… what am I supposed to be doing again, exactly?