I'm Daniel @officialgamecube - Tumblr Blog

You: May I have the bill?

Me, an intellectual: Might I acquire the William?

theres a knight in my backyard stabbing the ground with his sword trying to render my soil barren by killing the worms but luckily ive trained them all in classical ballet and they keep pirouetting away from the blade

adulthoodisokay

you can’t get sentences like this anywhere else

pissvortex

never trust these hoes with idealized utopia islands and all cute cat villagers. when they aren’t posting pastel screenshots of their island they’re beating the shit out of their unwanted villagers with a net until they move away

wangwizard

Coulda stopped four words in, playa

pissvortex

ghostresidues

sorry no post today i am engaged in dionysian madness

koobaxion-deactivated20220403

in Assassins Creed 4 cows can walk in front of the camera while you’re in the middle of a board game, making it unplayable.

caden

whoa… just like in real life

meteorjuno

succubusboyfriend

me at any given time: can we just buckle down and focus on the task at hand please???

my brain:

my brain: ……….ranibow sprimkle……………

ranibow sprimkle……..

kepchup.

SPINCH

B A N C H

chichen nuggest

b R o G L e

strawbebbies..

this post almost moved me to tears

mitochondriaandbunnies

Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ. Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room. Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.