archive

this is an archive for offside-the-lines

[offside-the-lines-archive]

Underneath the Tree | Mat Barzal

🎵 Underneath the Tree by Kelly Clarkson Pairing: Mat Barzal x Reader Words: 2 K Warnings: none Holiday Prompt #5! Requested by @barzysunflower​ :) Requests: Open (Message me!) | Masterlist in bio.

Mat-balls (Incoming): hey when r u getting home today 🥺 Y/N (Outgoing): hey I’m sorry, I know we were supposed to have dinner but work’s trying to get us to finish this dumb report up before Christmas so it’s going to be a late night Mat-balls (Incoming): aww, it’s okay baby 🥺 i’ll wait for you at your place. we can hang out when you get home later. Y/N (Outgoing): you don’t have to wait for me! we can hang out tomorrow! Mat-balls (Incoming): nope! i’m seeing my baby today. Y/N (Outgoing): okayyyy 🥰

You put your phone down and rub your temples. It was almost 5 pm and the report was still not even close to being done. Tanya next to you was typing away furiously, seeming just as frustrated as you were.

“Lover boy?” she said, not even looking up.

“Yeah,” you sigh, “we were supposed to get dinner today. It’s his first day off for the holidays, and I’ve barely seen him in like two weeks because he’s been on a long roadie and had a back-to-back.”

“Urgh, I feel you,” she said, shaking her head, “I can’t believe they’re insisting we get this done today. No one even works between Christmas and New Years. Like what even is the rush?”

“I know,” you finally look back at your screen, your eyes so tired that the numbers were basically floating around the screen.

And so, for the next few hours, the two of you hunkered down and tried to get it done as quickly as possible. The next time you checked the clock, it was almost 9 pm.

“You want a coffee?” Tanya said, stretching.

“No, thanks.”

“Alright, suit yourself,” she said, standing up and walking to the office break room.

You finally take a moment to stretch as well, feeling every sore muscle you had from sitting in this chair for over 12 hours today. You look over at your phone to check if you had any notifications.

Mat-balls (Incoming): hey do you have any wrapping paper Mat-balls (Incoming): i totally forget to get some and i’m too comfy to go to the store Mat-balls (Incoming): also, do you know roughly when you’ll be home? trying to decide whether I should just go to the store.

You couldn’t help but chuckle a little, as you start typing away on your phone.

Y/N (Outgoing): hey baby, you’re going to try and wrap some gifts yourself this year? Mat-balls (Incoming): hey!!! um… yeah? Y/N (Outgoing): are you suuuuuure you don’t want me to do it? Mat-balls (Incoming): yes! you can’t wrap your own presents! that's super lame AND it wouldn’t be a surprise Y/N (Outgoing): okay okay. the wrapping paper is in the hallway closet, there should be ribbon and tape and scissors in a box too. try not to make too much of a mess Mat-balls (Incoming): 🫡

You heard Tanya come back in as you just looked at your phone with a grin on your face you couldn’t hide.

“Lover boy again?”

You chuckled and rolled your eyes at the nickname, “yeah. He’s definitely going to make a mess in my apartment alone.”

She sat down, sipping at her coffee and looked out the window at the night lights of New York City. She shook her head and sighed, “Y/N, you should go home.”

“What?” you half-yell incredulously, “no way—"

“No, seriously. It’s the holidays and you have someone waiting for you at home and you don’t get to see him much during the season. You should go home?”

“I am not leaving you with all this work,” you say resolutely.

“Y/N, there really isn’t that much left. And I don’t mind. Truly! Consider this my Christmas gift,” she looked at you dead in the eyes and lay a hand on your shoulder almost pushing you to get out of your chair.

“Are you sure?” you said, measuredly.

“I am absolutely sure. Go home to that star of a boyfriend of yours and do whatever you need to do to make sure he wins more games after Christmas,” she said with a wink.

“Oh my god, Tanya. You’re too much.” You hesitated, looking at her, but she seemed determined and sincere. “Okay, I’ll go home. I really really appreciate this. I owe you one.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, shooing you.

And with that, you grabbed your things and ran out of the office as quickly as possible. By the time you got to the subway, you were panting. It was lucky you left when you did, because you didn’t have to wait long for the train and soon you found yourself walking up the stairs to your apartment. You were so excited to see Mat you didn’t even want to wait for the elevator.

You were still smiling; you hadn’t stopped smiling your entire way home, which you do realize made you seem possibly a little weird on the train but you didn’t care.

You slid your key into the lock and opened your door. You had barely opened the door all the way, before you heard a startled scream and the rushing of heavy footsteps to the door.

“Mat—” you managed to get out before you felt the strong arms of your boyfriend wrap around you tightly.

“Baby! You’re home!” he squealed.

“Hi, Mat. I’m home,” you said, smiling into his chest. He was not letting you walk more than a few feet into the apartment, only enough to close the door behind you. “What’s going on?”

“You should have said you were heading home, I would have come to pick you up, so you didn’t have to get the train!” he said, clearly avoiding the question.

You tried to wiggle out of his grasp to see behind him, but his hold was firm as you felt his muscles flexing under his sweatshirt, something you usually were a huge fan of. “Um, Mat, baby… I’m starting to think this is less of a I’m-so-happy-to-see-you hug and more of a hostage situation.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” he tried to say in a confused tone, but you could hear the cheekiness and the pout underneath it.

“Mat, what have you done to my apartment?”

“Nothing!” he squealed again, this time slightly picking you up and kissing you firmly.

He knew you too well, he knew you were going to melt into the kiss and close your eyes. Enough to gently guide your feet to the bedroom; you went willingly. The kiss was warm, and you missed the feeling of his arms and his lips. Soon you felt the door of the bedroom behind you, as he deftly reached to open the door and push you in gently, finally letting you untangle from him. As he pulled away from the kiss, he settled his hands on your hips to push you into the room.

“Wha—” you said, startled.

“You’ve been in these work clothes for too long. Go and take a shower and get changed, okay?” he mumbled into your forehead as he pressed a kiss against it.

“Mat, you are acting very suspicious.” You were now making a lot more of an effort to see the living room behind him, trying to peak over his shoulders and under his arms. He was doing a pretty good job of blocking your little movements, he was an athlete after all, but you did see a mess of wrapping paper and ribbon on the floor.

“Hey… Hey! Y/N, I’m trying to wrap your gifts here. Stop looking!” He said, now gripping your hips and pushing you back more firmly. “Go take a shower. I will carry you in there if you don’t go willingly,” he smiled, wiggling his eyebrows.

You rolled your eyes, throwing your hands up finally admitting defeat, “Fine.. fine. I’m going.” You turned around to walk into the room slowly. You take a few measured steps before whipping back around to try and take a peek. But Mat was ahead of you, puffing up to fill more of the doorframe with a cocky smile on his face as he closed the door behind you.

He was right, as he annoyingly is. The hot shower did make you feel much better, washing away the weariness from your body and loosening some of the muscles. After some time, you stepped into the living room in a set of old sweats with ‘13 Barzal’ on them. He was tidying up the living room, picking up the paper and ribbons; when he looked up at you, he smiled and let out a little groan of appreciation. It has been a few years, but that still made your heart flutter.

He walked over, with his hands full of scrap paper, and kissed you on the forehead, “Feel better?”

You nod, looking around the room. There were 3 new boxes sitting under your Christmas tree. Did the wrapping look perfect? No. Not at all. They all looked like they were wrapped by blind monkeys, but they made you smile because just looking at them, made you think of Mat.

“Good,” he hummed into your hair before stepping back. “I warmed up some chili for you. It’s from your favorite place.” He pointed at the bowl sitting on the dining room table; you could see the gentle steam rising from it and it smelled incredible.

“Awww, Mat, thank you,” you whispered, feeling yourself choke up and tears bristling at your eyes.

“Of course, baby. I went to pick it up earlier when you said you’d be working late. I knew you’d be hungry,” he shrugged in such a way as if to say ‘duh’.

You walked towards the bowl and the scent immediately make your stomach grumble. So, you just tucked in, humming at the taste as you watched Mat walk around putting everything away before finally coming to sit down next to you with two glasses of wine.

“I picked out a nice Zin to go with the chili,” he said proudly.

It made you chuckle as you reached for a sip, “you nerd,” you said.

He just shrugged and you sat in silence as you finished up your food.

“Thank you, Mat,” you finally say, as sincerely as possible.

“Of course. Anything to take care of my girl.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Y/N. It has been a long month,” he said, frowning slightly before shaking it off. He stood up, picked up your bowl and walked to the sink. You just watched him in awe, just wondering to yourself how you got so lucky as he turned back to you and flashed his winning smile that made you melt a little into your seat, “Come on, let’s go snuggle on the couch and watch the best Christmas movie of all time.”

You smiled back, “and what movie might that be?”

“Die Hard. Obviously!” he replied immediately.

You rolled your eyes, but your smile didn’t leave your lips as you snuggled into his side, his arms around you, wrapping you both in a blanket. You blinked up at him, and traced the contours of his face with your eyes. Almost like he was sensing your gaze, he looked down at you and smiled.

“Hi?” he whispered.

“Hi,” you whispered back smiling. “You know, you didn’t need to get me anything for Christmas? Having you here is more than enough.”

“Nonsense. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Now shhh and watch the movie,” he said, hugging you in tighter. He gave you a squeeze, telling you he loved you, as you rest your head on his chest again.

[offside-the-lines-archive]

Last Christmas | Tyson Jost

🎵 Last Christmas by WHAM Pairing: Tyson Jost x Reader Words: 6.2 K Warnings: alcohol, mention of cheating, it's a little angsty and there is some arguing dynamics but it ends happy!

Holiday Prompt #12! Requested by an anon :) Requests: Open (Message me!) | Masterlist in bio.

“Okay look, Y/N, you’re her best friend and I’m his best friend. You don’t have to like it, but we have to make this special for them, okay?” Tyson Jost was standing in your hallway as you put your final winter outerwear on. He was fisting his curly hair to keep himself from saying something to start the day off horribly; he knew it was going to be a long one already.

Tyson was JT’s best friend. They were virtually inseparable on and off the ice.

You were Isla’s best friend. You have been since you were in kindergarten some twenty odd years ago.

When you and Isla moved to Denver for your first adult jobs, you had never expected that Isla would meet a hockey player, let alone fall in love with one. But here you are, standing in your doorway on a blisteringly cold Sunday morning in December opposite your best friend’s boyfriend’s best friend.

You remember the first time you met JT and the rest of the Colorado Avalanche team.

~

“It’s really nice to meet you too JT, I’ve heard a lot about you,” you yelled over the loud music playing at the party. His hands were already wrapped around Isla’s waist as she leaned into him. JT leaned down to whisper something in her ear, causing her to giggle. You looked away before you were forced to watch them make out or something.

You had come straight from work— being asked to stay way later than normal— so you weren’t nearly as tipsy as Isla was in this moment. With a groan under your breath about being immediately abandoned, you started searching the house for drinks.

You didn’t know whose house this was, but it was way too nice. It was one of those new build constructions that was hyper-modern and minimalist, almost clinical and detached. But hey, it’s not your house or money, so who are you to judge.

“Ah huh,” you whispered in victory, finding the kitchen full of liquors and mixers. As you stood there admiring the options, you felt a hand settle on your back, making you jump away.

“Hiiiiiiiii,” a curly haired boy? man? slurred. The way he stood, chest puffed out, smile crooked into a smirk, told you immediately he was one of JT’s teammates. “You want a drink?”

“I think I’ve got a handle on it,” you reply curtly, moving to grab the vodka and soda.

“Nope! I’m making the drinks here,” he butted in, popping the ‘p’ obnoxiously. He reached over you and took the drinks from your hands before sloppily pouring it into a cup. When he was done, he shoved it towards you messily, spilling some on your shoes in the process. “Oops. Well, here you go!”

You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, sure. Thanks.” He looked a little taken aback by the attitude, like it was the first time a girl wasn’t immediately fawning over him. But that faded quickly and was replaced by a too-wide smile.

“I’m Tyson!” He yelled too loudly for the kitchen, “What’s your name?”

You squinted your eyes at him, and it was only met with a lopsided smile and a wink. “Yeah, no, I’m not doing this,” you said, turning around quickly.

“Damn, okay,” you heard Tyson comment behind you in a tone you didn’t like. You were about to turn around and start something before you heard him yell, “Kacey!” across the room and saw him bounding over towards a pretty, tall brunette who waved back excitedly.

“Ew, what an ass.”

The rest of the night you were introduced to many of JT’s teammates. It did get easier as the drinks helped you loosen up a little. And you had to admit, some of these guys were really sweet. You were hanging out near the beer pong tables chatting with Cale, when you heard a loud cheer; turning around to see Tyson and the brunette embracing tightly as they won the game.

“Home team advantage I guess,” Cale chuckled at the celebrations and the loud complaints of the boys they had beat.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you didn’t know? This is Tyson’s house. He got it recently. His first big party here!”

“Of course, this is his house,” you mumbled to yourself, hoping you were able to hide your eyeroll.

“What? Sorry, I didn’t hear that; it’s so loud in here,” Cale leaned in to say.

You put a hand on his shoulder, “Don’t worry about it. I’m going to get another drink.”

You bounced between Cale, Burky and Isla with JT most of the night. Every so often, you saw the tall brunette through the crowd by herself, hanging out with some of the others at the party. Luckily you hadn’t ran into Tyson again, past the one brief introduction JT extended as Tyson was walking by.

“Hey, Burky. Do you know where the bathroom is?” You ask the person closest to you and he answered, pointing down the hall. On your way there, you were distracted by the blank walls.

And that’s when you saw it. You opened the bathroom door, and inside was the unmistakable smirk and curly brown hair of Tyson Jost locked lips with a blonde girl who you hadn’t seen before. When the door opened, they both gasped and sprung apart. But he didn’t look ashamed or embarrassed. Tyson was smirking.

Before they said anything, you slammed the door and walked away. You felt your entire body get hot and before you could do something you would regret, you decided to leave. You felt sick, trying hard not to think back to your recent heartbreak, and the disgust you felt for your (now ex)boyfriend of five years who cheated on you for over a year with his coworker. You were barely holding it together, quickly made your rounds saying goodbye to everyone you had made friends with that night. Luckily, they were all pretty drunk now and none of them really noticed your distress as you finally slipped out of the party and into the Uber home.

~

You had spent a lot of time with the Avs players over the past year or so, but Tyson still gave you the skeeves. Admittedly, you never really talked to him and spent most gatherings avoiding him. He was always loudly snickering at some joke, in a way you found extremely grating. The few times you were forced to interact for Isla and JT’s sake, you would spend the entire time arguing. Honestly, you never even really intended it. It’s just you couldn’t help but want to take him down a couple pegs. And he made it clear in return that he didn’t like you either, always going out of him way to make stupid jokes and comments around you. Always going out of his way to stand near you at gatherings to piss you off. Your general animosity towards each other was obvious and something no one could understand.

Which is why, when you had originally seen Tyson’s name pop up on your phone, you almost deleted the message before you even read it.

TYSON JOST (Incoming): Hey Y/N. It’s Tyson. Are you busy? JT needs your help with something related to Isla.

Y/N (Outgoing): why didn’t he ask me himself

TYSON JOST (Incoming): Because… I don’t want to text it. I’ll come pick you up at 9 am so be ready to go then.

You hadn’t responded to that and when he did show up, you were still in your sweatpants.

~

“What the fuck, Y/N. I told you to be ready.”

“Well, Tyson, I don’t just do whatever you tell me to do. I’m not one of your girls.”

“God dammit, Y/N, why do you have to make everything so difficult?”

“Well, firstly, I do like how irritated you get about it.”

Tyson just huffed and brushed past you into your apartment. His annoyance dissipated quickly as he looked around your space. It wasn’t huge, but it was set up beautifully. You had multiple candles, fresh flowers on your dining room table, a soft blanket on the back of your couch, and walls littered with frames, the contents of which he couldn’t quite make out from the hallway. It felt cozy, “Your place is nice,” he said as sincerely as possible.

“Why are you here?” you replied, not acknowledging the compliment. You saw a brief flash of hurt on Tyson’s face before his face turned back into the mischievous smile you hated.

“So… Drum roll please,” he paused, almost waiting for you to drum your hands on something, giving up pretty quickly at the look of irritation on your face, “Alright, be lame then. So, JT is going to propose to Isla!”

You felt your heart soften immediately. Despite your reservations about hockey players, you really liked JT for Isla. They were clearly so in love and so happy together it was often a little nauseating. “Aww, that’s sweet,” you smile.

Tyson instinctively smiled back, eyes warm and soft. It wasn’t often you smiled at him. “Yeah,” he said softly, “it is. So, JT rented this cabin in the mountains. Like not just Airbnb or whatever, because he wanted to be able to go up there whenever he felt it was right. And he called me last night saying that this week might be it. But Isla’s got this thing on that he has to go to, so he asked me to help him set it up, and he also said that I should bring you because you know Isla better than anyone.”

You made a face of annoyance that JT insisted you spend time together.

~

And that’s about how Tyson got you to get in his car. He had a really weird playlist of house, indie rock and alternative music playing as he drove, occasionally humming along to a song poorly. You didn’t really have the energy to argue so you just sat silently looking out the window. It didn’t take long before the scenery was breathtakingly beautiful. That was something you loved about living in Denver. It had snowed a little recently, so the trees were still holding up shelves of snow that were now glistening in the sunlight.

After not that long, the roads got narrower and the forest denser before eventually it terminated at a beautiful A frame cabin.

“Holy shit, this is incredible, how did JT even find this place?” you whisper, mostly to yourself as you look around in awe.

“Oh, I did,” Tyson replied nonchalantly as he unbuckled his seatbelt and stepped out of the car.

Following suit, “What?”

“Yeah, I found it a year or so ago through my real estate agent. I wanted to take my girlfriend up here for a weekend away…You know… As a treat because we’re away so much during the season… But, ah… It didn’t work out,” his voice trailing off in the end.

You could have sworn you almost heard the sadness and hurt there. But that couldn’t be. A man capable of cheating on his girlfriend at a party she was at was surely not a man who would be thoughtful enough to seek out the perfect cabin for a romantic getaway. Was he?

“Yeah, right, and which girl was this? The red head or the short blonde one or the model,” you said, trying to not let your voice be as venomous as you knew it would be. But he heard it.

He looked back at you stunned, this time not hiding the hurt in his eyes. He knew how it looked, always having a string of girls on his arms and never being able to keep one there for long. His brows furrowed as he held your gaze intently like he was searching for something; and you didn’t look away, taking it as a challenge. But, after a few seconds, he just shook his head and cleared his throat.

“Anyway, come on. I’ll show you around and tell you the plan in a second, but first, you have to see the best part,” he tried to keep his voice chipper as he started to lead you around the deck.

As you followed, you felt yourself let out a gasp. Looking out from the deck, you could see the forest with trees covered in snow stretch out all around you, and one of the towering peaks nearby capped with snow. It was completely quiet, like you were the only people around. You hadn’t even really looked around the deck to acknowledge the hot tub or the beautiful floor to ceiling windows of the A-frame behind youm that also looked out at this view.

“Wow,” you said, completely captivated.

“Yeah,” Tyson said quietly, “I know, it’s pretty insane. Do you think Isla would like it? I’m not sure if Isla is a privacy and nature kind of girl, but I figured with what I’ve heard from JT that she would be.”

You pealed your eyes away from the view to look at Tyson. You were taken aback by the question and the complete sincerity in his voice. Your eyes searched his face for a second, but all you could see was the same amazement you felt at the view. And when he looked back at you smiling softly, you don’t know if it’s the majesty of the view or just the excitement of your best friend getting engaged soon, but you felt your heart beat a little faster.

“So?” he asked.

“Um…” you cleared your throat, looking around the deck, “Yeah. This will definitely do.”

“Awesome!” Tyson clapped, causing you to jump slightly but you didn’t look back at him. “Okay, so, I’m thinking, we can put up the string lights now over the deck, just let him plug it in when they get here. Then, we can stock the house with the stuff I brought in my car. Then we just got to go around the house and you can tell me if there’s anything I forgot?”

You nodded. Again, you were shocked by the amount of thought he had put into this. I guess that’s how he gets all the girls, you thought, luring them in with thoughtful grand gestures that are just empty in the end.

For the next hour or so, you guys moved around each other as you completed the tasks ahead of you. You chatted a little, but mainly about the work at hand. You were in your own head, your thoughts bouncing between Isla and how excited she’s going to be, and the completely improbable fact that Tyson Jost of all people could plan such a romantic and thoughtful engagement.

He had prepared everything. A selection of ingredients for a few recipes he had written down, along with a few bottles of wine to go with them. Bundles of wood for the fireplace and a few warm blankets. All the fixings for s’mores and hot chocolates. A few board games for them to entertain themselves with. A set of speakers that they could play music through. He had a cleaner coming to clean up the house and make the beds and ready the towels. It was so well planned that even you didn’t know if you could think of anything he had missed.

As the two of you finished up, Tyson went to get the car ready for your journey back and you stepped back to admire your handiwork, you had to admit you were impressed.

You heard Tyson’s footsteps coming back around the corner, “Um… hey, Y/N.”

“Yeah?” you replied, looking out at the living room and the view beyond.

“Um, so, I think I forgot to turn the lights off my car and it’s not turning on. I think the battery is out.” Your head snapped around to look at him. He was standing in the hallway, sheepishly rubbing his neck and looking at his feet.

“What?!” you yelled.

“I’m really sorry. I don’t know how that happened.”

“What the fuck, Tyson? Is this some sort of joke?”

“No, trust me, it’s not a joke. I’m really sorry. I don’t want this either. I called the tow company but we’re so far out. So, I called Nate and he’s actually closer. He’s going to come try to jumpstart my car. If that doesn’t work, he’s going to drive you home and I’ll stay behind and wait for the tow, don’t worry. Again, I’m really sorry. This hasn’t happened in a really long time. I guess I was just distracted.”

You took a deep breath, trying to avoid immediately yelling at him. Shaking your head, you just started walking towards the couch, “Of course you fucking would, Tyson. Nate better be here soon,” you said under your breath before taking a seat.

He walked over too, hanging his head, before taking a seat next to you. You could feel yourself move away from him slightly.

You sat in silence for a while, and Tyson was the first to speak up again, “You know, I’m really glad that JT is going to propose to Isla. She’s really good for him.”

You nodded, at least you have that in common. “Yeah, they’re good together.” You sat in silence for a little longer. “Um, you know, Tyson. You did a really good job here, I’m surprised.”

“Surprised?”

“Yeah, I mean, I didn’t really peg you for a…” you trail off and gesture around.

“What? Romantic?” he offered.

“Yeah, I guess. This thoughtful?”

“You didn’t think I could be thoughtful?” he said, louder than intended.

You paused, “I mean, I guess? You always seemed a little… Carefree? Just trying to have a good time for yourself?”

“Jesus, that’s harsh,” he said, the hurt evident in his voice.

“I mean, you’re an athlete. You guys are always kind of up yourselves.”

“Y/N, seriously! What the hell?” He was definitely talking louder now, “That’s quite an assumption. Do you think that about all of the guys? JT? Cale? Nate? Or is it just me?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, looking out the window.

“No, seriously, Y/N, look at me. Is that what you think of JT?” Tyson said. He sounded quite angry now.

You rolled your eyes, you obviously didn’t think that of JT or really any of the other guys. “No, I don’t think that of JT,” you said looking back at him. His expression had you taken aback. He looked much more hurt than angry. His eyes darted around your face, brows furrowed.

“Right,” he said bluntly, “so it is just me then? That you think is a selfish asshole.”

“I don’t know. I guess so,” you shrugged. His eyes darkened in response to that.

“You know, what even gives you the right to say that? Calling athletes up ourselves. You parade around like you think you’re better than everyone else. Like your degrees and your ‘normal job’ makes you smarter and better than us. I see the way that you look at us sometimes, like you think we’re stupid. Like we’re somehow beneath you,” Tyson ranted. His face was turning red, and his curls were bouncing frantically as he spoke.

“Well, I mean ––” you start before Tyson kept talking.

“No, stop. Just because we spend our days chasing a puck around instead of talking facts and figures in meetings doesn’t mean we aren’t working hard and it doesn’t mean that we’re stupid,” he paused and looked at you so intently it felt like he was piercing straight to your soul and after a beat, he continued, “You know what. I’m done having this conversation since you’ve already decided what all of us dumb ‘athletes’ are like. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

And with that, he stood up and walked outside.

You were left sitting there, a little dumbfounded. You had never really intentionally tried made to make the guys feel dumb for being athletes. But you did realize that he was a little right. Before knowing them, you thought that they were just boys who never wanted to grow up chasing a rubber puck around for fun while the rest of the world worked hard to make little money. After getting to know them, you knew that wasn’t the case anymore. But you knew that sometimes you did think you were better than them for having a more intellectual; sometimes you did make comments like they just didn’t understand what it was like for you.

You were surprised that Tyson had been astute enough to notice it. Maybe that’s what he meant. That you just assumed that he wouldn’t be smart enough to see it. Or that he would be too self-absorbed to read into anyone else so much. Or to even just observe someone else so much.

All the thoughts had your head spinning a little. Did you have Tyson all wrong? But you thought back to that first night in the bathroom. And all the girls since. He never seemed to really care. He was always just so carefree. Always joking and laughing.

You were still sitting on the couch, picking at your cuticles when Tyson walked back in a little while later.

“Hey Y/N, I’m sorry for yelling at you earlier. That was not okay. But what you said really hurt me. I guess it’s a sore subject. Nate’s here but my car’s still dead so he’s going to take you home. I just wanted to say, I have no idea why you seem to think so lowly of me in particular. But it’s no hard feelings. I’ve always found you to be really impressive and intelligent, and that’s always added to your attractiveness and your beauty. So, I’m going to just put this behind us. If Isla and JT get engaged, they’re going to need us to get along to help them plan the wedding and stuff…”

As he trailed off, all you could do was just look at him. You searched his face for any sign of him being disingenuous. You were taken aback by how warm and open he looked, even though he was hurt. His words warmed in your chest as you felt your heart tighten a little. When he looked away, tugging the curls at the nape of his neck, you took the opportunity to look at him further. The sun was setting outside, and the faint glow settled on his features in a way that made you suddenly aware of how attractive he was. A sudden realization that made your throat go a little dry.

After a few seconds, he said, “Anyway, Nate is waiting outside for you. I have to go call the towing company again. I’ll see you later, Y/N.” He didn’t wait for an answer before walking back out of the room.

You sat on the couch for a few moments, with your head spinning lightly before you finally took a deep breath and walked out to the car.

Nate gave you a sweet hug and a kiss on the temple as you got in.

“You ready to go?” Nate asked, his eyes looking a little concerned.

“Um, yeah. I guess. Thanks for taking me home,” you replied quietly.

As he started driving down the narrow road outside the cabin, he started talking again, this time in his (alternate) captain voice, “Tyson told me you guys had a little argument.”

“Yeah,” you replied quietly again, looking out the window.

He hummed and stayed quiet for a few moments as he continued driving. “If you don’t mind me asking, do you mind telling me why you seem to dislike Tyson so much in particular? I only ask because he’s a really good kid. And he seems to be the only member of the team you don’t get along with.”

You didn’t reply immediately, and you were considering not replying at all. You knew that Nate wasn’t going to press you on it if you didn’t want to talk about it. But this day had already caused your head to spin so much that it might be nice to talk it through with someone.

“I don’t know, I guess I just find him really obnoxious and irritating.”

“Mmm… Okay, but that’s not really a reason. Why do you find him obnoxious and irritating?”

“He’s just always laughing and joking so loudly, like he doesn’t care about other people at all.”

Nate stayed quiet for a few more moments, clearly in thought. “Okay, Y/N, I don’t know you super well. But I know that that is not the real issue. It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, but maybe I can help clear some things up.”

You sighed and looked out the window at the trees passing by. Finally, you spoke up again, “I saw him cheating on his girlfriend at that first party. And cheaters are always bad news.”

“What?” Nate replied immediately.

“Yeah, I saw him making out with ––”

“No, Y/N. That is literally not possible. Tyson would never do that.”

“Okay, but I saw what I saw.”

“Hmm…” Nate hummed, deep in thought, “Why don’t you explain to me exactly what happened?”

“Okay, fine,” you huffed, “It was at his housewarming party. The first time I met the guys. He was hanging out with his girlfriend all night. And then later on, I caught him making out with a blonde girl in the bathroom.”

“His housewarming party… I don’t remember him having a girlfriend at that time…” You looked at Nate, who had his eyebrows furrowed. “Hold on, describe this girlfriend.”

“Oh, um. Brunette. Tall. I think her name started with a C or a K. Chelsea? Kirsty? Something like that.”

“Oh my god, Y/N,” Nate said, starting to laugh.

“What?” you replied in a bit of a screech.

“Y/N,” he stuttered out between laughs, “Oh my god, Y/N, that’s his sister Kacey.”

“What?”

“Yeah! We flew his sister Kacey into town just for the party as a surprise. She’s got brunette mid-length hair. Kind of tall and athletic build? Pretty good at beer pong?” he laughed, “Yeah, that’s his little sister Kacey. They’re really close. I can’t believe you thought that was his girlfriend.”

“Oh my god,” your head was spinning, “So he… That…”

“Yeah, he definitely wasn’t cheating on anyone that night when you walked in on him.”

“Oh my god, Nate.”

“Yeah, as I said, Tyson would never. He might be a little bit of a slut, and he might have a string of women. But he is not a bad guy. He’s just unlucky in love.”

“Oh my god, Nate.”

Nate was still laughing, trying to keep it together to drive you safely. “Yeah. This is funny because all this time, he had a crush on you, and you thought he was the type of guy who could cheat on his girlfriend at a party she was present at.”

“Wait, what?” What did Nathan just say? There were so many thoughts going through your head now. Did he just say ‘crush’?

“What?”

“Nate, wait. Pull over.”

“What?” he said, suddenly concerned, “What’s wrong?”

“Nate, pull over.”

He did as he was told and turned his whole body to you, brows furrowed in concern. “Y/N, you’re freaking me out, what’s wrong?”

“Nate, what did you just say?”

“Um… That the brunette girl was his sister?”

“No, after that?”

“Um… That Tyson would never cheat on someone?”

“No, about me?”

“Huh?”

“Tyson and me?”

“Wha— Oh. Oh shit. Did I say that?”

“Yeah, did you?”

“Well, I guess I did. Um, well. Yeah, Tyson totally has a crush on you. Has had one like the whole time he’s known you. Why did you think he would always follow you around and say those dumb jokes?”

“I just thought he was doing that to piss me off.”

Nathan laughed. “Yeah, I can see him doing that, but no. That was definitely not why.”

After a few seconds, you started to laugh too at the ridiculousness of the situation. And when you both found silence again, you sat on the side of the road, looking out the window.

“Nate?”

“Yeah, Y/N?”

“Can I ask a favor?”

“Oh no, what is it?”

“Can you drive me back to the cabin?”

He looked at you, studying your face before a broad smile took over his face. He threw the car into drive again and turned you around to head back to the cabin.

The whole ride back your head was spinning. You thought of all the times Tyson offered to get you another drink. Or when he would comment on your outfits. Or how he would always find a way to rest a hand on your back when you were in a busy club. Those all felt different now, knowing what you knew. They now felt like attempts at making peace, at telling you he liked you.

You thought of the few times Tyson made sure that Isla got home safe after a night out and her and JT were drunk. Or how he always wished you a happy birthday or a happy holiday or whatever. Or how he always had salt and vinegar chips at his parties even though you were the only one that ate them. Those felt meaningful now, knowing what you knew. They now felt like Tyson showing you he cared and that he paid attention to the little things about you.

You thought of this whole day and the effort he had put in to make sure that everything would go smoothly for JT and Isla. Or how he made sure to ask you for your input on all the things and whether Isla would like or appreciate them. Or those little recipe cards he made for JT to use.

It all felt different now. You finally saw what everyone else saw. You saw the goofy, sweet, curly-haired man who cared deeply about his friends and teammates. You saw the warm brown eyes of a man who tried to go above and beyond for the people that matter to him.

You felt your chest tighten as you realize that maybe the hatred your felt for him wasn’t really hatred all along.

As you pulled back in front of the cabin, Nate finally interrupted your thoughts. “Well, we’re back. I don’t really know what your plan is but good luck I guess? Let me know how it goes. Try not to kill each other?”

“Thanks Nate,” you said softly, reaching over the center console to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Yeah of course. I would say anything but I really prefer not to make these long ass drives for no reason again,” he chuckled.

After watching him drive off, you finally found the courage to walk to the door of the cabin again. You took a deep breath before knocking. And waited patiently as you heard the footsteps approaching.

When the door opened, Tyson’s face went from one of confusion to one of surprise.

“Oh, um, Y/N. Did you forget something?”

You stepped forward and gave him a firm hug. His body, initially stiffened, before relaxing and returning the hug.

“I’m really sorry, Tyson. I really fucked up.”

He chuckled lightly, “I see Dogg just left you here. Come on in.”

You both walked back to the couch where the argument started earlier.

“Tyson, I’m really sorry. I made a really bad assumption without getting all the facts. And then I made a couple of more assumptions. And I really had it in my head that you were someone totally different from who you are.”

“Y/N, I’m a dumb jock. I literally have no idea what that means,” his voice was dry but you could see the twinkle of mischief in his eye that told you he was messing with you. “You’re going to have to spell it out for me simply.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “So, the first night we met at your housewarming party. I saw you kissing that girl in the bathroom.”

“Yeah, I remember. She was hot,” he smirked.

“You’re not helping your point about not being cocky.”

“I didn’t say anything about not being cocky ––”

“Anyway, I thought you were cheating on your girlfriend,” you continued as Tyson made a face of disgust and confusion. “But, as it turns out, you didn’t have a girlfriend. The girl I thought was your girlfriend was your sister, Kacey.”

He looked at you blankly for a second, processing, before bursting out in howling laughter. You felt your face go redder as he laughed.

“Oh my god, so this whole time you were hating me because you thought I was cheating on my sister,” he squealed, barely getting the words out.

“Yeah, I guess so,” you cringed. “Look, Tyson. I’m really sorry for assuming you were a bad guy and treating you like shit because of it.”

“And, to think, I was trying to get you to like me while you were thinking I was the worst,” he continued laughing.

You sat at the end of the couch, pouting, just waiting for him to calm down. He continued to chirp you for all the times you made comments about his dating life. And he teased you enough to finally admit that you did indeed like him now that you knew the truth.

Even after the embarrassment died down, you were still sitting on the other end of the couch pouting a little. And as the conversation died down, you started to shiver a little. The sun had properly set now, and out in the snowy mountains of Colorado, the house was getting cold quickly.

“Um, Tyson,”

“Yeah?”

“Why is it so cold?”

“We have no heat — just, come closer.” He motioned to the spot beside him.

You looked at him skeptically. “What do you mean there’s no heat? Isn’t that going to be a problem?”

“I know, they’re coming to turn the heat on tomorrow. There’s something with the system that I don’t fully understand.”

You nodded, looking at the spot next to Tyson, unsure what to do when a sudden shiver came over your body.

“Y/N, you’re shivering. Just come over here, I swear I don’t bite.”

Reluctantly, you scooched closer to Tyson, and settled into his side as he wrapped his arms around you. He was warm; a warmth that spread to you quickly. You noticed immediately how good he smelled and how firm his body felt against yours. You must have made a little noise, because Tyson chuckled quietly, making a blush rush rapidly to your face. Tyson reached behind you and pulled the blanket you had placed there on top of you and tucked it around the two of you.

You had to admit, this felt natural and pretty good. You could feel your heartbeat loudly in your ears, and you hoped he couldn’t feel it against his ribs. How did you go from hating his guts this morning to being happily tucked into his arms now? You shuffled to look up at him, your eyes studying his features. He was softly smiling, with his eyes closed. You traced the faint stubble that dotted his jawline up to the messy head of curls that sat on top of his head. There were a few that had fallen into his eyes, and you resisted the urge to brush them off of his face.

He opened his eyes and looked down at you, catching you staring at him, and smiled. Your eyes ran themselves over this face again, noting how one side pulled up higher than the other, in the signature smirk you used to hate. Now, you see a sweet cheekiness that was endearing. His smile always reached his eyes as they do now, and you saw the soft expression in his warm brown eyes that made you smile back too.

Seeing you smile back, he leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. It was so gentle that you could have sworn your heart almost skipped out of your throat.

“You know, I always thought you were so beautiful,” he said softly, “and intelligent and witty. I didn’t care that you hated me, I just wanted to be near you. I can’t explain why. But I’m glad you don’t hate me anymore.”

“Yeah,” you chuckled softly and laid your head down on his chest. You could hear his heart being fast.

“Yeah,” he copied.

You just sat like that for a while, letting the warmth of his body seep into you, melting any last resistance you had to him.

“Y/N?” he whispered.

“Yeah, Tyson?” you whispered back.

“Is it too soon to ask you on a date?”

“No, it’s not.”

“Okay, are you free on Friday?”

“Hmm, I don’t know. I’ll have to check my calendar,” you faked.

He chuckled and nudged you a little with his hip.

“Yeah,” you gave in, “Yeah, I am.”

“Great, would you like to go out with me?”

“Yeah, I would love to.”

“We can scratch the past year or so and start from the beginning.”

“That sounds great.”

“Great.” He pressed another kiss to the top of your head, as he settled in closer.

You could hear the smile on his face even though you weren’t looking at him. And in your head you silently thanked Isla and JT for being busy today.

[offside-the-lines-archive]

hey, could you do 8. “Uh... I was going to propose to you but I dropped the ring in the snow before you turned around, and now I can’t find it.” fluffy with JT Compher?🤍

Yes!!! Omg, this was so fun to write. And just so sweet and fluffy.

🎵Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow Pairing: JT Compher x Fem!Reader [existing relationship] Words: 2.9 K Warnings: none Requests: Open (Message me!) | Masterlist in bio.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow | JT Compher

“JT, where are we going?” you asked, sat at the Nashville airport on the morning of Christmas Eve was not exactly what you had in mind when he asked you to tag along on the roadie. Well… you’re not really sure what you had in mind since he has never asked you to do that before.

“Babe, relax,” he responded softly. His eyes were scanning the airport and he fidgeted in his seat.

“That doesn’t answer the question. You know I’m going to know where we’re going when we go to board the flight, right?”

His eyes finally settled on you, and his eyebrows shot up his face like he had not thought about that. You heard him mumble a swear under his breath as his face scrunched up. He looked so frustrated to have his plans foiled that it made you chuckle.

“It’s okay, JT,” you tried to keep an even tone because he did look so adorably distressed, “I’m still very surprised already! Just tell me where we are going.”

He sighed and rubbed his no doubt sweaty palms on his jeans, as he adjusted himself in his chair to sit up straighter. His eyes were darting around again, from his lap to the people around you, as he started speaking.

“Ah, well, you said you missed home, and home cooked meals. And that this year didn’t feel much like Christmas with all the road games. So, I just figured you might like to at least spend Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with the family,” he said, so focused on finding the right words, “Um… So… We’re flying to Chicago. Your mom’s making us all your favorite food tonight, and then we’re going to spend the night and Christmas morning with my family. Jesse and Morgan are really excited to see you. And then your family is joining us for lunch too. And then we have to fly back, because I promised Coach and Nate and stuff…”

Your eyes started to get misty as he talked. He had clearly put so much work and thought into this. And, he looked so excited.

“Woah, Y/N. What’s wrong? Are you crying?”

You sniffle, trying not to let any tears spill down in the busy airport terminal. “Yeah, baby, that’s so nice. You planned all this for me. You really didn’t have to.”

“I know. It’s just, you put up with all the hockey, and the traveling, and the sacrifices of being with an NHL player, it’s the least I could do.”

“I love you, JT.”

“I love you too, Y/N,” he said, reaching a hand across the table to squeeze yours.

The flight went smoothly, and you spent the rest of the evening catching up with your family. It was so nice to see how well JT slotted in, along with your siblings and their kids. Over dinner, your mom kept sending you little knowing glances and you think you caught your dad wink at you once or twice. But you were so focused on the delicious food, and the laughter, and the warmth in your chest to really think about it.

You always loved sleeping in JT’s childhood bed. Yes, it was small and cozy. But there was something about being in the room where JT grew up. Not to mention all of the little medals and trophies and photos that dotted the room, like little breadcrumbs that lead to the man he is today. His family was much more competitive than yours, but you didn’t mind that because you got to see the mischievous glint in JT’s eyes when Jesse or Morgan challenges him to some board game, or inane competition. It was crazy how alike they all looked, cheeks flushed as they argued about what was or was not in the rules.

Christmas morning flew past. And looking outside, it was snowing slightly. You absolutely loved it when it snowed like this. Growing up in Chicago, you were no stranger to bitter winters. Often the snow came down in sheets, and the wind was cold and biting. But occasionally, when you were lucky, Chicago would bring a light dusting of snow. A snow that made everything feel so peaceful and quiet; when you look up, it’s like everything is in slow motion.

You feel a slight bump against your shoulder as JT passes you a mug of hot chocolate with a solid layer of marshmallows and cream on top. “What are you thinking about?”

He presses a gentle kiss to your head, which you lean in to, as you both look out the window together.

“Mmm,” you hum. “I just love it when it snows like this.”

“Yeah, me too,” he mumbles back. His body presses gently into you, and you feel yourself warm to his touch.

You stand in silence for a while, just sipping your drinks and enjoying the quiet company. After a while, you pipe up, “Thanks, JT.”

“Mmm?” he hums.

“For this,” you say, gesturing broadly, “for doing this for me. It means a lot.”

“Yeah, of course,” he says back. If you weren’t distracted by the sudden urge to cry again, you would have heard a slight tightness and nervousness in his voice. He clears his throat, “Well, your family is going to get here in about an hour or two. Do you want to go for a walk in the park?”

Your lips stretch into a broad smile, and you turn around to him, eyes shining, “Yes! I would love that!”

He chuckles a little, some tension slipping from his shoulders as he saw your excitement. “Alright then, let’s go get changed.”

You both slip on your winter snow gear, and make sure you’re bundled tight. You’re chatting with Jesse and Valerie in the kitchen as you wait for JT to be ready to leave. He finally rounds the corner, covered fully head to toe, only his eyes showing between the toque and the scarf.

“You ready to go?” you squeak.

“Yeah,” he sounded out of breath as he patted his pockets, deep in thought.

“What took you so long?”

“I just had to make sure I had everything.”

“What do you even need? We’re walking to the park?”

“Umm –“

“He was probably just doing his hair, not that you can see under that hideous beanie you’ve got going on,” Jesse interrupted.

“Okay,” he called out, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards the door as you laughed with Jesse who winked at you. “We’re going.”

You casually chatted the entire walk down, sharing some funny stories of your siblings and Christmases in your childhood. You’ve been together for years, but the conversation never dried up; there was never a dull moment. Although JT was definitely being quieter than usual.

Finally, when you made it to the park, you were confused. You had been so distracted that you hadn’t realized you weren’t taking the normal route to the local park.

“Wait, JT, this isn’t your park,” you said, grabbing his arm.

He chuckled lightly, “Yes, Y/N, I have lived here almost my whole life, I know that. I just figured, it’s a special day, I got us tickets to the Botanic Gardens. They do these really cool Christmas light installs. I realized that I’ve never brought you to one, so I figured why not?”

“When the hell did you have the chance to buy these tickets?”

“Um…” his cheeks turning red as he smiled sheepishly, “I’ve had them the whole time? I just wanted to keep this a surprise I guess.”

“God, when did you become such a romantic?” you joked, bumping your shoulder into his arm.

“Hey, that’s rude. I like to think I’ve always been pretty romantic,” he retorted, acting fake offended.

And so you linked arms, walking through the gardens, commenting on each display and whispering little jokes in each other’s ears. But the beauty was not lost on either of you. The dusting of snow on the ground covered a lot of the plants and light displays. And it was still snowing. JT’s nose and cheeks were flushed almost the color of his beard, and you were sure that if you had a mirror, your nose would be just as red. But you didn’t care.

You looked up at JT as he was energetically telling you about some stupid joke a teammate had said. His eyes always twinkled when he talked, but you were distracted by a snowflake that had landed on his eyelash. And as he blinked, you felt your heart flutter a bit as you leaned up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. God, being in love is disgusting, you thought to yourself. You were so caught up in the moment, you didn’t really notice he was rambling, and you didn’t notice the faint shutter of a camera. Or if you did, you had written it off as someone just taking in the beauty of the day.

“What was that?” JT said, his voice gentle and low.

“You just looked really cute, and I wanted to kiss you,” you smiled.

He didn’t respond, seemingly pleased enough with your answer. You looked back at the path ahead of you and felt a small gasp escape your lips. Ahead, there was an arched tunnel of twinkling lights. Even though it wasn’t dark out, it was still so beautiful. You felt yourself walk away from JT’s grasp, as you walked towards the arch, somewhat mesmerized.

As you came to stand before it, you said over your shoulder, “I know this is the least artistic display in this exhibit thing, but I think this is my favorite.”

But there was no response. And you didn’t feel the warmth of JT’s body next to you. Instead, behind you, you heard some odd rustling and shuffling. It was only when you heard JT’s distinct voice mutter some swears under his breath that you turned around.

“Um, JT, baby, what are you doing?”

In front of you, JT was on his hands and knees, patting around in the snow right behind you.

“Uh... I was going to propose to you, but I dropped the ring in the snow before you turned around, and now I can’t find it,” he stuttered, clearly flustered.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Fuck, urgh– I’m sorry, Y/N– God, I had this whole thing prepared– And I can’t seem to– Where is the damn thing?” he rambled.

You wanted to bend down and help but your brain was still stuck on what he had said. And all you could do was repeat yourself, “I’m sorry, what?”

“I– Um– Just give me a second,” he huffed.

In the distance, you heard a voice yell, “is everything okay? Do you need help?”

“Ahhh, no! I’m good. I just– AHUH! I found it!” he yelled, holding a small object in his hand up in victory. He looked up at you, still on his knees beaming, his cheeks even redder than before, something you didn’t think was possible.

Still somewhat shocked, you could still only whisper, “I’m sorry, what?”

He chuckled sweetly. “So, I had this whole plan that you would be admiring the beauty of the lights and snow and stuff, and then you would turn around and I would say my entire romantic speech, but that’s a little out the window now.”

He took a deep breath and took your hand in his. “Y/N, I love you. More than I thought was possible. I am grateful every day to have you. I couldn’t imagine my life without you. Y/N, will you marry me?”

His voice was so soft and warm. His warm brown eyes looking up at you, full of love and hope.

“Is this a joke?” you manage to squeak out.

“What? Of course not. I’m so serious about this, you have no idea. I’ve been planning this for months. I’ve had this ring for like forever. I wanted this to be perfect. I am completely serious about this, Y/N.” His voice didn’t waiver at all, for the first time today, he didn’t sound at all nervous.

“Is this real?” you whispered, blinking a few times as tears start to cloud your vision. You take in the sight, JT on one knee as the snow fluttered around him. There were colorful lights and beautiful plants all around you. The floating way that the snow fell almost seemed to warp time. You were starting to feel like you were in a dream; an amazing, wonderful dream.

“Yes, Y/N. This is real. You’re not dreaming. I am indeed this beautiful and romantic, although I’m not sure how you never noticed until now. And if you say yes, you could look at this gorgeous stunning face every single day forever.” There was a playfulness in his voice that covered a little ball of anxiety that was building up. He had been on one knee for a little while now with no affirmative answer; and despite his comfort with ice, he was starting to lose feeling in that knee.

You let out a few laughs that definitely came out as sobs. And as the tears started to stream down your face, you used your hand in his to pull him up to you. He wrapped his warm, thick arms around you without hesitation.

“Y/N,” JT whispered into your hair, “Is that a yes? Because you haven’t actually said yes or no yet. And it’s starting to freak me out. I love you regardless, I just need to know ––”

Before he could even finish, you started to nod your head aggressively, and between sobs, you heaved out a string of “yes”es. You felt his muscles relax, hearing that, and he let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

He leaned back to press a few kisses to your head, cheek and mouth; a kiss that you returned strongly. In the distance, you finally noticed the clicks of a camera and Morgan’s distinct voice saying ‘ew’ causing you to smile into JT. When you finally parted, you had stopped crying; and he ran his fingers over your cheeks, wiping the remaining tears away.

He gently tugged off your gloves and slid the ring onto your finger. And that’s when you realize, you hadn’t even looked at it. The ring was cold, probably from being in the snow for so long. But as you look down at your hand, you smiled. It was a slightly updated setting of your grandmother’s engagement ring. You recognized the center stone immediately.

“Oh, JT, this is beautiful. I love it.”

“Thank you. I’m so glad you like it. It’s got stones from both of our grandma’s engagement rings on it.”

“Oh,” you whispered, bringing to closer to your eyes to inspect. You felt yourself on the verge of tears again, thinking about how special this ring was to you both. “Thank you, baby. This is ––”

“Yo, bro, did she say yes?” you heard Morgan call out.

“Yes, Morgan. Way to ruin the mood,” JT rolled his eyes.

She came running over, camera in hand, and gave you a big hug. “Yay! I’m so happy you’re going to replace JT in the family tree now!”

You laughed loudly as JT grumbled some choice words at his sister. “I’m glad to be a part of the Compher family too, Morgs.”

“Okay,” she reached over and tucked some hairs behind your ear and wiped at your cheeks, “Now, pose for a photo.” She raised her camera and started clicking away as you and JT did the obligatory ‘just engaged’ pose.

After a few minutes, Morgan seemed happy with the photos she got, and you all began to walk back to the Compher home. As soon as you got in the door, you heard the bustle of both your families getting the final touches of lunch ready. Morgan had made sure she entered the home first, running into the kitchen area.

“Did he do it?” you heard Jesse whisper loudly.

“Yeah, did she say yes?” you heard your own sister whisper back.

“Yes!” Morgan yelled as you and JT entered the room.

You heard the corresponding cheer from both of your families, as you buried your red face in JT’s arm, cheeks warm from all the attention and love you were getting.

Everyone immediately started saying their congratulations. “Finally”, “About time”, “I’m so happy for you”, “You guys are such a sickly cute couple”, and so on.

JT kept his arm firmly wrapped around your shoulder as everyone started excitedly chatting. Once everyone was again distracted with each other, he leaned in and placed a firm kiss on your temple, his soft beard tickling you slightly in an incredibly comforting way. “Merry Christmas, Y/N. I love you, future wife.”

“Merry Christmas, JT. This was an incredible surprise. I love you too, future Mr Y/N Y/L/N.” You beamed up at him, smiling cheekily.

“Hey, I’ll take it, anything it takes to be your husband.”

“JT, you’re such a sap,” Jesse yelled from across the room.

JT reached up and flashed her his middle finger as he cupped your face with his other hand and placed a warm kiss on your lips. You both melted into each other for a second, before pulling away and just smiling as you rested your foreheads together.

[offside-the-lines-archive]

You’re All I Need | Mat Barzal

Summary: You had kept your relationship a secret for much longer than you thought was possible, but will becoming public send you into a tailspin? Pairing: Mat Barzal x Fem!Reader [existing relationship] Warnings: alcohol, implied sex, a tiny bit of arguing/angst but it gets resolved quickly, mostly a fluffy piece about looooooove Words: 4.4 K This is my final rework from the old times. I’m super happy with it. It’s super sweet and cute and I love love what can I say. There’s some timey-wimey bullshit with the All Stars break but, it’s whatever. Appearances from Jordan and Lauren Eberle and Anthony Beauvillier (because I couldn’t resist). Requests: Open (Message me!) | Masterlist in bio

You could feel your eyes getting heavy and fluttering close. It was getting way past your bedtime. You had been planning to go to bed almost two hours ago. The room was faintly lit by the computer screen and the moonlight coming through the open window. It was only January but it was already getting warm again in California.

“Mat, baby, it’s getting late. I’m so tired and I have work tomorrow morning. Can we not just talk about this tomorrow?”

In the Facetime window, you could see him pouting childishly. “No, babe. Come on pleeaaaaaaaseee.”

“You know, I don’t remember dating a toddler.”

“It’s only like 11 pm in California, you grandma. And, I haven’t seen you in so long. AND you need a holiday. It’s not healthy to be working all the time. You’ll have fun in Florida, I promise.” He had shifted closer to the camera, knowing that his puppy eyes still had some effect over video.

“You won’t even have time to see me. You’ll be busy at all the All-Star events and games and stuff,” you say even though you could feel your resolve leaving you, along with your consciousness.

“Yes but knowing you’re in the crowd will make me skate better! You don’t want to be the reason that I don’t win the fastest skate award, right? The people would never forgive you. Besides, you’ll finally get to meet all my friends and you’ll make new friends. A healthy work-life balance is a thing you know.”

You sat in silence for a few more seconds. You slid down further in the bed and moved the laptop to the side, looking at the screen sideways now. You sighed, “Fine, I’ll take my annual leave for you. You better win something.”

“REALLY?” He squealed, causing you to jump a little.

“Yes, now let me sleep before I change my mind.” Your voice sounded haughty, but you were smiling, watching him running around his room celebrating like he had just scored a goal.

“Okay, good night Y/N. I love you. You’re gonna have a great time. I promise.”

And with that, you signed off and closed your laptop and fell asleep.

*   *   *

You walked out of the taxi and thanked the driver for getting your luggage for you. Your heart was fluttering in your chest as you looked around for Mat. You had been together for almost a year now but every time you saw each other, it felt like it was your first date.

“Y/N!” Mat’s excited voice cut through your thoughts. You turned to the sound and saw him jogging gently towards you, beaming. Dropping your bags, you ran towards him too, closing the gap. At the last second, you stopped just short of reaching him. “What? What is it, baby?”

“I don’t want to jump on you and injure you. All your fans would slaughter me.” You looked genuinely worried, making him laugh more.

“That’s ridiculous. Tito and Wally jump on me all day and they’re like twice your size. Come here.”

You closed the gap and leapt into his arms. He lifted you up and spun you around a few times before placing a gentle, chaste kiss on your lips. He buried his face in your hair and took in the smell of your conditioner and perfume. “It’s so nice to finally get to touch you again, Y/N. Facetime is just not the same. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.” You leaned back in for another kiss, this time deeper than the first one, it’s been a while since you’ve been able to get your hands on each other. But, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable with kissing like this in a public space, you pulled back and smiled, looking in his eyes. “By the way, you can’t put me down now. I’m attached to you. Sorry but that’s the deal.”

He laughed, “No problem. Let’s get your bags.” You were still wrapped around his torso, but he walked towards your bag and picked it up without even a flinch at the added weight. “Oh, by the way, Ebs is really excited to meet you and Tito has been saying that he likes you better than me for like months.”

You jumped off him, throwing off his balance a little. “Oh god…”

“Y/N, it will be fine. Everyone’ll love you, I promise. I mean, who doesn’t love you? And besides, I think you’ll get along really well with Lauren.”

“I’m still panicking a little.”

“Well don’t,” he said, interlacing his hand with yours and giving it a little squeeze, “Come on.”

*   *   *

You stood in the corner with Lauren. Mat was right, you had become fast friends. Although, she couldn’t understand why you hadn’t gone public with your relationship yet and why you didn’t have an Instagram. You could have like ten million followers Lauren had said. She was even more shocked that the press hadn’t found out yet. And you agreed, it was indeed a miracle.

You shared a bottle of champagne, watching the boys jumping, running and screaming. There was beer and champagne everywhere. If it wasn’t for the occasion, you’d be complaining about how gross and sticky it was. But you were having the time of your life. It helped that your boyfriend looked so happy. It wasn’t the end of the season yet, but winning the All-Stars games was definitely something to be celebrated, and you were proud of Mat for how well he had played.

Tito came running towards you, “Come and dance with us.”

You shook your head rigorously, “No no no. Have fun without me please. I really don’t want to be soaked in beer and man-sweat. If Mat wants me, he can come get me.”

“Come ooonnn. Mat wants you there with him. I mean, we could win the damn Cup and you’d still be all he talks about. Look at Y/N, she looks so radiant. Do you think she’s proud? My girlfriend is so beautiful blah blah blah. It’s so boring— No offense.”

“Tito, are you drunk?”

“Hey, we’re not talking about me here.”

You took another sip of your champagne, looking at the guy fondly. It made you so happy to see how much these two idiots loved each other, despite the constant childish bickering. “Okay then, whatever you say kid,” you mumbled, waving him off.

“Fine, be a lame-boat. I’ll go back to the boys.” He turned to leave, not looking at all phased by your rejection. He then turned back, “You know, I think you make him happier than any trophy. Can you make him make me the best man when you get married? I’m his favorite, and I’m your favorite, remember that. Ok, bye!”

You choked on your champagne. When you get married?! Where did that come from? You watched him disappear into the crowd. It made your head spin and your skin feel hot.

You excused yourself from the other WAGs and took your glass onto the balcony. You looked over Miami and admired the lights. It was beautiful and the weather has been nice and warm but you were starting to miss home. You closed your eyes and enjoyed the smell of the sea breeze.

“What are you thinking about?” said a gentle voice beside you. You felt two — very wet with alcohol and sweat — arms wrapped around you. Although you didn’t appreciate the sticky arms disrespecting your lovely dress, you sunk into the arms.

“Hey,” you said sweetly, looking back at Mat.

He was radiating with happiness, eyes sparkling. Suddenly overcome with love, you set a sweet kiss on his lips. He responded, deepening the kiss. Soon, you felt yourself set your glass down on the cocktail table next to you and turn around, wrapping your arms around his neck. You stayed like that for a long time, coming up for air every now and then. It was intense but tame, like you were just showing each other your pure love and affection. After a while, you came to a stop, catching your breaths, foreheads resting together. You knew you were both smiling like idiots. Neither really cared.

“So, you never answered, what were you thinking about?” Mat whispered.

You stood there for a second; you had actually forgotten in the heat of the moment. “Oh… I was just thinking about home. And about the ocean. I miss my beach, you know.”

You turned around again to look over the city lights, holding his arms tight around your waist.

“Let’s go then,” he said.

“What?”

“Well, you still have a week of vacation. Some of the boys want to celebrate for a few days. Why not go to San Diego? Our next game’s in Anaheim anyway.”

“Isn’t some like 10 star resort in the Maldives more your vibe?” You laughed.

“Babe, there’s no such thing as a 10 star resort, and I just want to be where you want to be. And I think the boys will listen to me,” he chuckled, leaning in, and growling the last part in your ear, “I did score the game winning goal after all.”

You slapped his arm playfully. “Power trip,” you said. But his sensual voice had sent shivers down your spine, and he noticed and pressed you closer to him before planting a different type of kiss on your lips. The type of kiss that made you press your thighs together. The type of kiss where you knew you were not returning to the party that night.

*   *   *

Mat had put your bags down and immediately went into the bathroom to change into his swim shorts. You took the opportunity to go to the balcony and take in the view. There was still no place like home.

Behind you, the sliding door opened. “You know, Mat, baby, we could’ve just stayed in my apartment.”

He came and stood next to you, placing an arm gently around your waist. “I know, my love. But look at this view. I wanted to treat you.”

“You don’t need to treat me. You’re a treat enough.”

“Who’s cheesy now?”

“Ha ha,” you said sarcastically but your eyes gave you away. “So, are we going to chill next to this ridiculous infinity pool or go down to the beach front? There’s gonna be a lot of people there. It’s already pretty busy. We’ll probably not get that much privacy. Should’ve gone to your ridiculous Maldives place.”

“Babe, you’re rambling. This is lovely. You can show me — us, I guess— around your town. And we get this amazing view without the long flight.”

“Well, you can get this,” gesturing to yourself, “view anytime baby.” You were smiling now, wiggling your eyebrows suggestively.

He snorted. “Jesus Christ, that was bad.”

Your eyes met, and you both burst into laughter, clutching your stomachs. You loved the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed; and how those few wisps of hair always fell into his eyes. Wiping your tears, you somehow ended with your foreheads pressed together. You looked up at his hazel eyes with pure adoration. Your lips met in the middle, warm and comfortable as it always is.

“Come on, let’s go to the beach. They're waiting for us.” Mat said gently, pulling on your hand to join the rest of your friends who had gathered in the lobby.

“So, are we gonna go to the beach?” Tito asked.

“Yeah. I love the beach. Eating ice cream, sunbathing, playing some volleyball, staring at my girlfriend’s ass—” Mat answered, matter-of-factly.

“Ok ew. That’s enough. Let’s go.”

You spent the rest of the day on the beachfront. You showed them to the best ice cream parlor. Lauren and you decided to share one since Mat wanted a cone all to himself, like a toddler. He even pouted about it. This was a good choice because before long, Tito had decided to hit Mat with his half-finished ice-cream, leading to a food fight. You reminded yourself that your boyfriend was in his twenties, and not twelve. Jordan, Lauren and you stayed far away, laughing and shaking your heads.

When you finally made it to the beach, you all headed straight into the water, the girls to cool off and the boys to clean off the sticky layer of ice cream on their arms and faces. After a while, you went to lie down on the sand, soaking up the sun. When the boys got bored of that, Mat got out the ball. The girls sat and watched them push each other about and kick sand everywhere. Eventually, someone suggested that they should include you all in the game and they came running and half-pulling half-carrying you girls towards the water’s edge where they had been playing. This didn’t really work, however, and you all eventually agreed to just splash about in the water.

Much later, when you were all getting hungry and the sun was getting low on the horizon, you decided that it was time to pack up and go. You walked, hand in hand, down the street, ignoring the whispers of a few who seemed to know who the hockey players were. You were too giddy with happiness, and drunk on sun and wine and beer to notice or really care.

“Oh my god!! Y/N!!!” Someone called, snapping you out of your quiet conversation with Mat. You turned around and saw your friend running towards you.

“Kristen! Hey babe!” You met her halfway and pulled her into a hug.

“Girl, where have you been for the past few weeks? You just disappeared. We were actually worried, you know.” Kristen gestured dramatically behind her where your group of friends stood, gapping.

You turned around and smiled apologetically at your new group of friends who stood there awkward and confused. You waved them on as if to say that you’ll meet them back at the hotel. Mat whispered something to Tito and jogged towards you, waving at your friends.

“I know, I know,” You said, smiling at Mat and back at Kristen and your other friends. “So, I’ve been spending some time on holiday in Florida with my boyfriend, Mat Barz—”

“Holy shit Y/N, I know who he is,” screamed Theo.

“Jesus, when were you gonna tell us you had a boyfriend?” yelled Luke at the same time.

“Hey guys,” Mat said. “It’s nice to meet you.” He laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head as they spoke before him. They returned him a round of hellos.

“Nice to meet you too, I’m Kristen, this is Alexa, Theo and Luke. We just wanna know what the hell is going on here,” she laughed and looked pointedly at you nervously fiddling with the hem of Mat’s shirt.

“Alright guys, don’t get too aggressive on Mat here. We’ve been dating in secret for almost a year. It’s been long distance. We met on my business trips to New York. He’s here on holiday for a few days. You can ask me more questions later. We have to get to dinner now. Ok, bye guys,” you trailed off, pushing onto Mat’s arm, almost like you were urging him to drag you away. Your friends’ enthusiastic questions made you a little antsy. You didn’t know how to talk to people about your relationship yet.

“Oh my god! So THIS is who you’ve been texting and calling all the time!” Alexa yelled.

“Yeah, I can’t believe it,” Kirsten added.

“Oh no you don’t get away with this that easily, we want more details,” Luke said.

“Fine, fine,” You sighed, “Let’s catch up sometime soon. We actually do need to go.”

Mat shrugged and smiled, “It’s really nice meeting you guys. Hopefully we can get some time alone and you can tell me all the embarrassing stories.” He gave them one of his signature winks and put his arm around your shoulder completely nonchalant.

As you turned away, you heard the group talking behind them.

“I actually can’t believe this,” Theo said, “this is crazy. I must be dreaming.”

“Yeah, well I’m just offended she didn’t tell me. We’ve known each other since elementary school!” Kirsten said.

“You? What about us? What else don’t we know about her? Maybe she’s actually a porn star.” Alexa said, laughing.

“Nah, she won’t even skinny dip. Definitely not a porn star,” Kristen replied.

You laughed into Mat’s shoulder. You only now realized that your cheeks were red with embarrassment.

You turned to him and said “Well, I guess the secret’s out.”

He looked back at you for a while, not saying anything. You expected him to be smiling but his brows were furrowed, almost seeming worried. Just above a whisper he said, “The secret’s been out for a while, baby.”

“What do you mean?” You said, stopping dead in your tracks.

“Well… You know… The press… Social media…” he was rubbing his neck again, avoiding your gaze.

You stood in silence for a few seconds. You silently turned back to the street and walked towards the hotel. Mat matched pace and grabbed your hand, squeezing it gently. Though this time, you didn’t squeeze back.

You walked the rest of the way to the hotel in silence; Mat not entirely knowing what to say but knowing he had fucked up, and you fuming but not entirely sure why. You knew that you couldn’t keep this a secret forever. Your boyfriend was famous. You knew that when you started dating. What exactly did this change? It changes everything you said to yourself. You had been carefree, acting like the bubble you had created for each other was enough.

When you got into your room, Mat dropped your things in the corner and sunk onto the couch, burying his head into his hands. You sat on the edge of the bed gently. You couldn’t ignore him forever.

Eventually, you whispered, “How long?” dread seeping into your stomach.

Mat looked up at you, the pain was evident in his eyes. “A week or so… Maybe I should’ve said something. I didn’t want to ruin the mood.”

“A week! I wish you had told me, Mat. You should’ve told me.” You tried to not sound angry. You knew he was trying to help.

“I know! I was just trying to do the right thing.” His voice betrayed his hurt. You were headed towards an argument and neither really tried to stop it.

“Well, you clearly aren’t doing a great job though, are you?” You shot back, sarcastically.

“Okay, yeah, I fucked up. I should’ve told you. But you knew this would happen eventually. You knew and you still agreed to be my girlfriend. I protected you for as long as I could—”

“Protect me?! What exactly — You were the one who invited me to Florida! You knew this would happen if I came and you didn’t warn me!” You were yelling now. You looked at Mat who was pacing. The temper you saw very occasionally through the TV screen when watching his games was in full force in front of your eyes.

“I wanted to see my girlfriend, dammit! Is that so much to ask? You’re always working, it’s like you don’t even want to see me most of the time? How can you say you love me when you’re reacting like this to dumb shit like this. This comes with the territory, Y/N. Maybe you should have thought about that more before dating me.” He shouted, immediately regretting his words and his tone. His eyes immediately softened but you weren’t looking at him anymore, “Y/N, I—”

“That was cruel, Mat.” You felt the hot tears of frustration dripping down your cheeks. You got up, grabbing a change of clothes and headed towards the shower. He walked towards you, “No, Mat. I need a second. I’m going to take a shower and we can continue this when we’ve both calmed down a bit.” You closed and locked the bathroom door.

Through the door, Mat heard the shower being turned on and sighed. He leaned against the wall next to the door and slid to the floor. He didn’t have the energy to walk back towards the room. He put his head in his hands and sighed. I’m an actual idiot. How did I fuck this up?

Inside the shower, you just stood there and let the water wash away the salt, sand, and tears. Your chest hurt. It had been a good day, up until then. You cursed the universe for making you meet and fall in love with him. You cursed yourself for finding him so hot when he was angry. You cursed him for his fantastic ass and gorgeously chiseled face. Even when you were angry, you couldn’t bring yourself to hate him at all. You finished your shower and put on your dinner outfit. Towel drying your hair, you stepped out of the bathroom and tripped over Mat on the floor.

“Fuck! Are you trying to kill me?” You yelled, catching yourself on the wall. You looked down at Mat and he was quietly crying into his hands. Your heart, and your voice, softened, “Oh, Mat… Baby…” You sat down next to him and took his hand in yours and placed a soft kiss on his palm.

He looked up at you, eyes red and puffy. You had never seen him like this. He looked down your hands in his, “Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said. I don’t know why I said those things. I really don’t mean any of that. I was freaking out because I fucked up, and I was scared that I had fucked *us* up and that you’d never forgive me, and that you’d break up with me, and I went on the offensive—”

“I guess that’s your job, to go on the attack,” you said, half joking trying to lighten the mood, somewhat uncomfortable with your boyfriend bearing his soul to you on the hotel room floor. He was goofy, fun, loving, and kind; but he was rarely this vulnerable.

He continued rambling, completely ignoring your poor attempt at a joke, “I’m really sorry, Y/N. I love you so much. I don’t ever want to lose you. You know I love you, and I support your career. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. You’re all I need in this world, ever. Please, you have to forgive me. We can’t break up, I can’t—”

“Mat, baby, we’re not going to break up.”

His eyes finally snapped up and met yours. They were still brimming with tears and even in the poor lighting of the hallway, he looked so scared.

“We’re not?” He asked quietly.

“No, we’re not. I love you too. So much. You’re a total idiot and such a child sometimes. I forgive you because I love you. But I don’t think we should communicate like that again, okay?”

He let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding and almost looked like he was going to start crying again. Then suddenly, he broke into the biggest smile, grinning at you, like a madman.

“What?” You said, “What is it?”

“Oh nothing. We just had our first big fight. I’m going to savor this moment. It’s a milestone, baby!” The idiot actually sounded excited.

You rolled your eyes and stood up to walk back towards the room, “Oh my god, I’m already regretting this. You’re way too dumb for me.”

Mat caught your thigh before you could even stand up and pulled you onto his lap and kissed you passionately. “Don’t joke about these things. I don’t want to have our second fight so soon.”

When Mat went to take his shower and get ready for dinner, you got out your phone. With a sigh, you typed Mat Barzal into Google for the first time in almost a year. It was weird seeing gossip about you. You had moved onto Instagram, scrolling Mat’s comments, when he stepped out of the bathroom, towel wrapped low on his hips, his wet hair dripping water down his back. When he made it to the bedroom, he saw you on the bed, brows furrowed in concentration.

“Babe, what’s wrong? What are you doing?”

“People aren’t very nice.”

“What?” He said, confused. “Oh… You googled me, didn't you?”

“Yeah, and your Instagram comments are… interesting… too.”

He crawled onto the bed, snatched your phone away and tossed it to the other side of the massive California king bed. “Stop reading that shit. Most of the comments are actually very nice. And the ones who aren’t? Who cares? I love you. I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing that matters.” You snorted and slapped his arm. He was now straddling you somehow and had both hands cradling your face. You were acutely aware that he was no longer holding his towel, causing it to pool dangerously low on his pelvis and it was distracting you from the point he was making. “Seriously, you’re the most beautiful, most amazing, most patient woman I’ve ever met. I’m not interested in what others have to say. Neither should you.”

“Aww, baby, that’s actually really sweet. I love you too. I just wish those stupid gossipers could’ve picked a more flattering photo.”

“Shut up,” he mumbled into your lips. His gentle kiss trying to persuade you of his point. Well, you weren’t going to object to this brand of persuasion.

As it turns out, Mat was very persuasive, and you were definitely late for dinner. You waltzed into the restaurant, arms around each other, grinning and whispering.

“Guys, where the hell have you been? Seriously, you’re so late,” Tito complained, “I’m starving.”

“Look at them, they’re practically glowing,” Jordan said with a wink.

“Oh gross dad,” Tito said, sarcastically.

Mat laughed, pulling out your seat for you as you reached the table. “Look man, we’re in love. That’s all that matters,” returning one of his famous winks. Everyone burst out laughing.

You blushed as Mat leaned over and gave you a peck on the cheek, “Shut up, let’s get some food. Just had quite the workout.” You teased.

“I fucking hate it here,” Tito grumbled, causing you all to laugh.

[offside-the-lines-archive]

Give Us Another Shot | Matt Martin

Summary: Drunken mistakes can tear apart your love, but one drunken mistake might bring you back together. Pairing: ex!Matt Martin x Fem!Reader  Warnings: exes, angsty, cheating, alcohol Words: 3.6K Thanks for all your love on my first oneshot! This is another rewrite. It is even more angsty than the last. BUT, it also has a happy ending. AND, I have something fluffy/happier coming down the pipeline. Please drop in my asks to give me some feedback! Or make some requests!! Requests: Open | Masterlist in bio

He was sitting by himself at the bar. The shots were lined up in front of him. I took one from the line and downed it.

“Hey! What the --”

“Jägermeister, huh? So predictable, Matthew.” He stared at me, stunned speechless, opening and closing his mouth. He was never speechless, always had a chirp ready. I raised an eyebrow and downed another one of his shots. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to stare? It’s rude.”

“Didn’t your mother ever tell you that that line is too old?” He winced at how desperately bad that comeback was. “But you must have forgotten that along with the fact that stealing is rude, especially someone else’s liquor, especially if it’s jäger.” His words slid into each other like we were teenagers again, running on ice without skates. We did that once. That was a long time ago. Back in Canada.

“Oh sorry, I forgot to be polite to you when I walked in on you cheating on me.”

He was silent, staring at the last shot in the line. He shook his head before reaching for it and downing it like he must have done for the many before. “I never –"

I cut him off, knowing what his argument was going to be before he said it again. “Right, so she just happened to fall conveniently onto your exposed dick. Seems legit.” I snorted, looking out into the packed bar.

“You know, y/n, you didn’t need to come sit here.”

There was another tense silence between us. The sounds of the bar mixing with the liquor sloshing in my empty stomach were causing my head to spin a little.

“Yeah. I know.”

In the corner of my eye, I saw him turn his head to look at me, “Then why did you?”

I wasn’t entirely sure. I definitely didn’t expect to see him here. I didn’t even expect myself to be here. I wasn’t really a nightlife sort of person, but something about sitting at home, drinking, by myself, on another Friday night seemed wrong. Sighing, I looked back his way, examining his face in the dim light of the bar. There was a shadow under his eyes, and his skin looked paler than I remembered... But maybe it was just the lighting, I told myself. I shook my head and picked myself up to leave.

“I really don’t know, I probably shouldn’t have anyway,” I said to him as I left.

Walking away, I kept hearing the voice of Casey telling me to talk with him. You should talk to him. Stop running away. He hasn’t been himself since. Why are you being so stubborn? It’s been weeks, months, years, you look like a shell of yourself. You’re not okay either. I walked myself home, wincing at the cold winter air of New York City slapping my hair against my wet cheeks. I regretted leaving my apartment to begin with. Nothing good ever came out of leaving that place.

* * *

Late Oct, 2018

I looked at my phone again as I sat in the back of the taxi. Nothing. No text, no call. Maybe he forgot? But he was so excited that I was finally moving here with him. Maybe he fell asleep or confused the time. The flight was rescheduled, and then delayed, and it was the middle of the night. Yeah. That’s why, I convinced myself. The cab cruised down the road, lined with trees still bare from the bitter New York winter that was starting early.

I looked away from the window, “Yeah. Just park behind that black car over there.” So, Matt was home.

The lights in a few rooms shone through the curtains that we bought together when he first moved back here. I chuckled at the memory. This cloth. That color. Goes with this and that but not that. A language that now surrounded him that made no sense. His brain so overwhelmed that when the lady at the shop sneezed, he said “shut up” by accident, making his face turn bright red as he profusely apologized.

I smiled as I remember him saying “Why do we need all this? I have never cared about this stuff before, and my home has been perfectly comfortable”. I remembered my retort, “Yeah, that’s because you’ve never lived with a woman before. You liked my, our, Toronto apartment right?” And him eventually caving in, the love shining in his eyes as he kissed me gently and turned back to the lady, “We’ll get whatever she wants. Whatever makes my baby happy.”

I paid the driver, thanked him and dragged my suitcase up the front porch, fumbling in my bag for the keys.

“Matthew! Matt?” I looked around the house. The living room was empty, as was the kitchen. The house wasn’t completely silent though— Wait. There was a sound from upstairs. I rushed up the stairs, heading for the origin of the sounds. Our bedroom. The closer I got, the louder the sounds got until I could distinguish it as... Music? That loud? Who sleeps through that? Then there was another sound, some type of groaning. I was confused. Maybe he hurt himself. Maybe that’s why he didn’t come to pick me up.

Worried, I crossed the last few feet in a run and flung the door open, “Matty, I’m h--”

What I saw behind that door made my stomach turn. He was not hurt, or sleeping. I could see his bare, muscular back between the legs of some blonde who was lying on our sleep skin rug. My mind went blank as I watched Matt stop and turn around in shock.

“Y/n, I—” he called and stumbled towards me as the woman lay on the floor, smirking at me.

That’s when all the emotions hit me at once. The anger, the betrayal, the pain, the disgust, and the love that sunk to the bottom of my heart.

“No, Matthew. Just don’t. Don’t fucking bother.” I spat, backing out of the room, sprinting down the stairs and out the door. Luckily, the cab was still there.

“Y/n, no! It isn’t like that.” He was slurring his words, footsteps stumbling. Drunk. Pathetic.

* * *

I groaned as the daggers of emotion tore through my body again. The sores were still raw, even after all this time, and my heart screamed as the bandages I so carefully protected were ripped off in one stupid moment on a random Friday. I opened the door to my apartment and saw the mess of empty bottles and sheets of work that had I drowned myself in. I picked up a few of the bottles, downing any last drops before throwing them into the waste basket that overflowed with glass mementos of my still broken heart.

I searched my cupboards for that ‘emergency’ bottle of vodka I kept for these moments; can it even still be called that when the emergencies happened every week? It burned down my throat as I sat on my couch, reveling in the physical discomfort momentarily overshadowing my emotional discomfort. I stared at the clock on the wall. As the second hand ticked, with each swig of the bottle, the edge gradually disappeared until I numbed the sharp sting of my memories, each a punch in the gut. 

His crooked smile. His warm brown hair that flopped into his eyes, and the way he would rake his fingers through his hair. His ocean blue eyes, both soft with love and dark with lust. His warm, spicy scent, laced with sweat. His firm but loving touch that made goosebumps on my skin every time he touched me. His muscles that rippled under the warm skin every time he moved. I let out a muffled scream into a pillow, and laid my head back, closing my eyes. The alcohol in my veins allowing me to slip into a fitful slumber.

***

Knock knock knock. I groaned, cracking just one eye open. It was 4 am and I was still on the couch clutching the pillow and bottle of vodka.

Swearing to myself, who could that possibly be? “Why couldn’t people just leave me alone for once,” I said to no one in particular. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to fall asleep again. The knocking kept going.

“Piss off!” I yelled, throwing my shoe at the front door. The knocking didn’t stop. In fact, whoever it was just started knocking harder. I slowly climbed off the couch, head spinning from the drinks that were still in my system. I stumbled to the door, stubbing my toe on my way there, “Fuck! If you break my door I swear to God I will —”

As I opened the door, a tall, muscular man fell onto me, causing me to lose my balance and grab his arms in panic.

“Y/n, baby, I’ve got you,” Matt laughed, causing him to hiccup.

Realizing who it was and what had just happened, I snatched my arms back from his hands forcefully, seething. “What the hell do you think you’re doing here Matthew? How do you even know I live here?”

“Still grumpy when woken up I see. And Zeke,” Matt looked like he was a world away, slurring his words.

Casey, that son of a —. The two of us had grown quite close while I was dating Matt, and he always made an effort to keep in touch. I always assumed that he felt sorry for me. But, when I finally moved to NYC, I had to let him know. I grumbled, “I’m going to kill him. And no, I’m grumpy because it’s 4 am and you’re the first person I saw when I woke up. So, I’ll ask again, what do you want?”

Matt stopped, for the first time realizing that this might be a bad idea. He winced, his face contorted into an expression of pain and sadness. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, not quite knowing how to phrase it, the words he wanted to say not coming out. After a few seconds, and studying my expression, he whispered, “Can I please come in?”

“Fine, do what you want,” I spat out, surprised by my own response, as I walked back towards the kitchen.

Matt skulked through the door behind me. The world was still spinning but he took a small glance around the living room. There were empty bottles, sheets of paper and general mess thrown around the room. He frowned. The version of me he knew was extremely organized and neat. I had even joked at one point that I had single-handedly started the minimalism trend. He pinched the space between his brows as followed me to my kitchen island. 

I already grabbed the bottle of vodka I had out and was taking swings straight from the bottle. He perched himself on a stool and watched me, eyebrows furrowed. He reached out and took the bottle from my hands and took a swing. Despite trying to keep my expression neutral, angry or annoyed, he had knew that I was covering up pain and sadness. Even drunk, it was another stab in his heart. He stood up and walked to the sink and poured the contents of the vodka bottle down the sink —

“Hey! What the hell, Martin? You can’t just come in here and pour out my alcohol!” hitting him hard on the arm but he didn’t even flinch. He almost cracked smiled at my attempt and shrugged. I let out a loud groan, rolling my eyes and slumped onto another stool, making a mental note to buy more booze tomorrow.

“So, I’m going to ask again, what do you want? I have stuff in the morning so make it quick,” I lied through my teeth; I regretted my tired drunk brain inviting him in.

He stood there, looking at me intensely. I studied his face for the first time since I saw him in the bar earlier that evening. He looked almost old, there were many wrinked on the sides of his eyes and lines around his mouth and deep-set troughs between his brows. He had aged, much more than someone should have over 4 years. Despite my anger, I felt a pang of sadness and sympathy for the man I loved for so long. I knew deep down that if I looked in my mirror, I would see the same thing.

He sighed and audibly swallowed, “I made a mistake, y/n, and there has not been a day when I don’t think about what I’ve done. It breaks my heart over and over to know that both our misery is entirely my fault. Every time I wake up to an empty bed. Every time I win a game and want to tell you about all the brilliant moments. Every time I lose a game and crave your hugs and kind words. Every second of every day, I feel the hole in my life that can’t be filled. But that is what I deserve. And, I’ll be honest, y/n, baby, I haven’t been doing so well.”

He paused and chuckled a little nervously, but the chuckle fell flat. I could hear his voice wavering as he stared at his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. I opened by mouth to respond but he held up his hand, “Please let me finish, y/n. Please. I need to say this. You know I’m not that good with words and talking about my emotions. I’ve been thinking about what to say to you since that night and I still don’t have the right words… I woke up the next morning on the floor of the entryway with the worst, most sickening feeling in my stomach. My worst nightmare had come true, and I had lost you. A stupid, stupid decision that was entirely my fault. And in that, I lost myself too… I couldn’t play a game for a whole month. I could barely even leave the bed. Zeke had to eventually drag me back to practice again.”

He ran his hands through his hair. His voice had dropped to just above a whisper and he could hear a ringing in his ears. I could feel my throat start closing up too, and I didn’t know how much longer I could be able to trust my voice. “Why --?” I croaked, a tear escaping my eye. I wiped it angrily, feeling like my eyes have betrayed me.

“I don’t know why I did it. I don’t want to make any excuses. There are no excuses or reasons good enough for what I did to us. But I was so terrified. We met when we were so young, you were my first crush. And so, when we reconnected in Toronto, we moved so dizzyingly fast. Suddenly, one day, I woke up and realized we were adults now. We were almost 30. We weren’t the 16-year-old friends who ran around on the frozen lake anymore. For some reason, some stupid part of me was suddenly not ready to be that adult— I had no idea how to be the person you deserved.

“When you agreed to marry me, I couldn’t believe it. And then you volunteered to give up your life and your rising career to move to New York for me… It scared me so much because you needed me to be so much more than that shit-head boy you met in middle school. I had no idea how to give that to you, how to be that man. I had spent most of my twenties jumping from one person to the next. I had never even been in a serious relationship before. I had never loved and cared for a girl — no, a woman — before.

“I couldn’t stop seeing a future where you resented me for holding you back. I am not good enough for you, y/n, I never was. And I felt so hopeless. I had spent those 2 months in New York alone spiraling; the longer we spent apart, the more I panicked. I needed you so much but you didn’t need me to be fantastic… I was going to be the reason you were giving up your whole life and I wasn’t good enough to ask you to do that.” His voice broke and he was crying through his words. It was a desperate heaving cry, sobs coming from deep within his chest. I had never seen him cry like this before, not even when the Leafs— when he had lost in the playoffs.

There was a long pause filled with just the sound of both of us crying. Neither could say anything. Neither really knew what to say. After we had both cried so much that there were no tears left, Matt cleared his throat.

“I came here today to— I had to say— All I wanted to say today is that I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for what I did to us. And I’m so sorry for not speaking to you about my fears earlier. I’m so sorry for all the pain I have caused you. I hope you’ll fall in love again and have the happiness and greatness you deserve. I want you to move on. I need one of us to be happy because I know that I will never be happy without you. This is it for me. You are it for me. I can only, and I will only, love you. But that’s not important because I deserve this pain for what I did.”

He reached out his hand and pressed a gentle squeeze on my knee. Matt stood up from the stool and walked towards the door. As he opened the door, he turned around, taking one last look at me staring at him down the hall, still frozen in place on the kitchen stool. He gave me a gentle pained smile. “Look after yourself, my love.” With that, he turned and left.

I sat there looking at the closed door for a few heartbeats. My blood coursing through my veins. My cheeks warm and wet. My eyes hazy and puffy from the crying. But, suddenly, for the first time in a long time, my mind was finally clear; I ran as fast as I could through the door and chased the tall figure down the stairs and onto the street below.

“Hey! Matthew!” I yelled, “Hey! Matty! Stop!”

He stopped and looked back at me.

I ran up to him and reached out my right hand, “Hi, I’m y/n. I’m from Windsor, Canada. I run my own architectural firm and I’ve been in love with a professional hockey player called Matt Martin for as long as I remember. Would you like to have dinner sometime?”

He reached his hand out to hold mine gently. His eyes were wide, scanning my face, searching desperately for answers to the questions battling inside his brain. But all I could feel were his strong callused fingers in my hand again. It was cold on the street. But I barely noticed. He was crying again. I reached up, wiping the tears from his face with both hands; I tucked the loose strands of hair behind his ear, and pulled his face closer so I could reach his lips while on my tip toes. I scanned his face again, searching for permission, which I got when he closed his eyes and leaned his face into my hand. And with that, I closed the distance and pressed my lips onto his.

The kiss was gentle at first. Tentative. After four years, I could still remember the way he tasted, the warm smell of his aftershave, the stubble that brushed against my lips. I leaned back, but his arms pulled me close, his head dipping to meet my forehead as he stared into my eyes, just inches apart.

“What… what are you doing?” he whispered softly, fear and hope intermingling in his voice. I stepped back, holding both of his hands, so that we could see each other properly.

“I’m trying to try again. You were wrong Matt. I need you too. We were supposed to be a team, but we were both so awful at communicating. I was so in love with you, you were the most incredible man. Anything I did for you; I was doing it willingly. And I would have done anything for you. Truth be told, I haven’t been okay either. You’re all I can think about when I’m drawing, when I’m eating, when I’m sleeping, when I’m trying to relax…” I looked at him, my eyes soft. “Despite how much you hurt me, I forgive you and I’m willing to try again. It’s late and you’ve had too much to drink to drive safely. Would you like to come back inside?”

He was speechless. He was scared that if he said anything, it would ruin whatever was happening, that maybe he would wake from a dream, so he just nodded. I gave his hands a gentle squeeze and lead him back up into my apartment.

When we walked back through the door, he looked down at me and smiled sweetly, his red puffy eyes crinkling at the edges. My heart beat a little faster. His hands pulled mine tenderly into a handshake, “Hi, I’m Matthew Martin. I would really like to spend forever with you. But can we start with breakfast tomorrow?”