OffTheScalez

We all could use some peace rn

[offthescalez]

Intro

When I first started this 3d recovery blog, I never felt like I would be able to talk about anything else. But here we are, this is no longer strictly a single subject space, but a diary and daily motivation.

On the daily motivation aspect: everything I say is inspired either by IRL or posts I see here. I come across so many amazing souls that could use some compassion, love and kindness that I just hope my words bring some light in people’s lives. But equally I don’t aim for what I say to be suited to every single one of you - whatever resonates with you, take it in. Whatever you reject, feel free to leave behind.

Interests: there’s too many to note, but I’m very curious about all sorts of stuff.

On the diary aspect: tw for certain topics is in order, including SA, depression, anxiety, 3d and recovery, food. I try to tag appropriately and put anything potentially triggering under the cut.

DNI: no one in particular, because even if I specifically name certain subjects, I’m sure they will be ignored. So instead I’ll just block anyone who I find doesn’t align with my values. Please be aware, I am an adult. I do NOT mind anyone in active 3d follow me, in fact, it makes me happy that you can get something positive out of what I post about. I might not follow you back for obvious reasons. Ana and WL coaches will be blocked.

[offthescalez]

The times I most often feel misunderstood, are the times when I try to understand others.

My care and concern gets perceived as offensive and my intentions of offering support as invasion of privacy.

I genuinely don’t know how to show care in any other way. I’ve been shut down so many times now that it’s becoming exhausting to even try. I’m tired. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to people. The world is asking me to pretend to be someone else even though it repeatedly states it seeks authenticity and I am tired. I am not a quiet person naturally. I am a quiet person because I am asked to be. I’ve just had enough of trying.

[offthescalez]

As someone in recovery, I can’t tell if it’s going to be permanently better. But the better days are more for me. So there is hope. Trust.

[offthescalez]

I hope she finally loosens her grip on you, the pain. I hope she finally lets you go free, the grief. Be free.

[offthescalez]

happy pride!! thank you for being a safe and welcoming person, your words have touched more people than you know. the authentic you is the best version that this world could get to know.

Happy Pride to you too! I hope you see that you are valued by far more people than you care to admit too. Your self awareness will get you through many challenges as long as you continue to remember you have tools in your toolbox that you can always come back to. You, too, are a genuine and kind person. You have a soft and gentle heart and have much love to give. I just hope that you remember to direct some of it inwards. You deserve it. Big hugs 🤍

[offthescalez]

Which flag do you see?

[offthescalez]

Happy 🩷 pride 💜 month 💙

[offthescalez]

If you aim for perfection, you will end up getting disappointed. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t strive for something better either. Speak your mind, do your best and move on if nothing changes.

[offthescalez]

If you’re feeling sad, try eating, sleeping or having a shower.

If you’re anxious, postpone that one task. Actively choose to do it in a couple of hours or tomorrow. Allow yourself to breathe and to do it later.

[offthescalez]

People who don’t know me, assume I have balance, peace and everything in my life I need to be happy. Objectively speaking, this could be true. But it’s true for the present moment. The present doesn’t erase the past. To be able to be joyful in the present, we need to be at peace with our past. Otherwise it will always come to haunt us. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying don’t pursue happiness with all you’ve got, cause being joyful takes effort. But equally, if you have everything you should need and still don’t feel content, it’s because something is holding you back. And you either need to cut that tie in one clean swipe or find a way to live with it.

[offthescalez]

Animals. Animals are worth living for.

[offthescalez]

my girl must be tired from being her beautiful self all day… come here, let me take care of u for a while keke 🤍

You are so sweet 🥹🫂

[offthescalez]

My best friend makes my life worse.

It feels strange putting this out there, since we went through so much together and practically spent several years together 24/7. She has been my best friend for a long time and for so many reasons. I have always felt understood and appreciated by her. We had the same toxic friend and a toxic mom. We shared many interests, some hobbies and music preferences. We understood each other without many words and we shared opinions across many different areas.

But what initially separated us was my traumas. I could see she struggled to understand and she would ask me questions to make sense of it, but in doing so she made me feel invalidated and alone. I didn’t know anyone else who had been through what I had and it took me a long time to stop blaming myself for something that wasn’t my fault at all. She didn’t help with that. In fact, she fuelled that fear without meaning to.

Whenever we speak, she’s always distracted especially when I share something that bothers me. When she vents, I can listen for hours and provide support and advice but I don’t feel like I get remotely the same back. “You don’t have an ed” she had said. I shouldn’t have needed to prove anything to her. She erased my experiences and my emotions with a single sentence. She said the same thing when I said I was neurodivergent. “I’ve known you for a long time” she said. I wanted to reply “I don’t think you have actually really known me deeply enough at all”.

If this is you, if you recognise your friend or your partner in my words, you’re not making anything up. Even if they have good intentions, even if they genuinely try but fail to understand. You can forgive but you don’t have to keep throwing seeds in a fruitless garden.

If you feel your efforts to keep a friendship are not reciprocated and not appreciated, it doesn’t really matter how long you have known this person for. Friendships do require effort, but it comes from both sides, sometimes more on yours and sometimes more on theirs, but there’s always a balance. Save your energy for fewer people if you need to. Spend time sharing only with those who make you feel understood and comfortable. Best friends can become just friends. That is ok.

[rottingpuppycorpse]

its gotten to a point where i think im closer with my friend ive known 2 years than my friend ive known for 12 years who i used to be inseparable from literally a year ago

[110budd]

I hate that my mutuals are sad right now. I wish I could take away all of the horrors of life for every one of them

[offthescalez]

Choosing to celebrate completing 10% of a task instead of dwelling on the remaining 90%. Starting and doing a small amount is something to be proud of. Notice the little wins in your day.

[offthescalez]

Small things like this can feel exhausting and you’re not the only one.

The stars don’t always align for making plans to finish some tasks and having the motivation to follow through. So when something or someone breaks that routine, it can feel overwhelming and anxiety producing. Someone calling or popping over unannounced, an urgent matter needing addressed or another occurrence that ultimately prohibits you from proceeding with your plan is exhausting and frustrating. Your feelings make sense and it’s normal for that to feel upsetting. Even if other people don’t see why. Your personal experience is valid and it makes sense.