"Love is the bane of honor, the death of duty. What is honor compared to a woman's love? What is duty against the feel of a newborn son in your arms ... or the memory of a brother's smile? Wind and words. Wind and words. We are only human, and the gods have fashioned us for love. That is our great glory, and our great tragedy."
- George R.R. Martin
some thoughts on alysmond dynamic (and why it’s good)
Since we don’t have much in F&B, tv show is very much an interpretation — and as much as you have a right to not like it, I think it boils down to the fact that it’s not that bad in itself, it’s just different from what many of us imagined. So in this essay lol I want to offer my interpretation of their relationship (or what we’ve seen so far) and why I think they are a good match and essentially endgame to each other.
My interpretation, obviously, rooted in my own love for them as a couple as well my own views on who could be a good match for Aemond. But i want you to treat my arguments less like «she-just-defends-her-otp» and more like an invitation to explore how one interaction we see, as viewers, from the side, can be interpreted differently if we imply different things.
For starters, I define them as the endgame based on Aemond’s famous quote from F&B:
«My lady. She saw you in a storm cloud, in a mountain pool at dusk, in the fire we lit to cook our suppers. She sees much and more, my Alys»
— and for a guy with such issues to claim someone twice in one phrase? we’re onto something, my friends.
Plus I find extremely endearing «my lady» thing. She’s a bastard, not a noble lady, they’ve never had an official wedding (though rumoured), and Aemond isn’t famous for his kind and well-mannered behaviour. So he has no reason to address her as such, except for his own wish. Can we interpret that as a respect? As a confirmation of him viewing her as his partner/wife/loved one?
Thus we established our point B — they love each other (or, at the very least Aemond loves her, even though I think it’s mutual — but we’ll talk about it later). Now let’s find a point A — clearly it has to be their first meeting, when wounded Aemond falls to her feet (what a delicious picture!) and asks for help.
I think it’s a very smart choice from a developing-their-romance point. Aemond is this unshaken, always-on-guard kind of a guy, he doesn’t trust many people (if any), and his only weakness is emotional one to his family — how we, as a narrator, make him fall for someone?
strip him from his power (temporarily, of course, we all love our toxic dominant CEO prince reagent boyfriend) — to put him in a position where he has to ask for help, but more importantly where he has to accept said help. He has no choice but let someone care for his wound, care for his emotions. We need this so we can fight his confirmation bias against that childhood trauma and constant loneliness he feels (no one will argue that most of them are extremely lonely even when surround by people?).
caught him in a proximity to another person for some extending period of time — we know our baby has trust issues. He’s not the kind of guy to fall in love on the first sight, not necessarily because he’s not romantic enough, but mostly because he doesn’t allow himself to feel freely. So he needs some time to familiarise himself with someone, before we can even talk about trust or feelings, and in order to familiarise himself with someone, he probably needs to be locked with this person for weeks in a situation he has no escape from. Because in no way he would allow himself to simply explore the possibility of developing whatever relationship with whomever.
And please notice how those two things are basically a plot thing and not Alys’s doing? In regards to her being power-greedy and manipulative and so-on.
We can argue about nightmares and her role in them but it wasn’t her who stabed him in a kidney. Google says it takes at least two weeks with modern medicine to recover from a light wound — in no way she can be blamed for keeping him in the castle, whatever the magical healer she can be, it’s impossible for his wound to heal in such a short time
So our point A is them basically being doomed by the narrative — the plot itself curls in the way where he has a chance to develop feelings (he doesn’t necessarily have to! i know! but at least he has a real chance).
Now we have the point A and the point B and the only one thing that’s left is to build a path between them. I have a lot to say about said path, but this text is already too long, so I only want to focus on one thing I see people discuss the most — The kiss — and if you want more, let me know!
The kiss — I saw some people interpret it as forced and uncomfortable and I’m here to disagree.
One of the first things we’re taught in psychotherapy training is to observe and notice facts without jumping to conclusions. Because conclusions, however important, can cloud our judgement. «Aemond is uncomfortable» is a judgement. «Alys forces kiss onto him» is a judgement. By no way we can explore what for real happens in their heads, and they are not here to tell us, so let’s start with observing facts.
Alys initiates the kiss, that’s fact (and I want to make another ass-long text discussing her motivation because she’s not evil manipulative cougar some people see her).
But what does Aemond do? The answer is nothing. Aemond doesn’t do anything — he doesn’t move away (not even a head tilt! on a contrary, he moves himself a little closer to her when she moves to kiss him), he doesn’t try to stop her (and haven’t we collectively agreed that his reaction is a Fight one?), he is not shown any disgust or fear, his face’s a very clear.
Now, onto the interpretation!
Can we interpret this as a sudden Freeze\Fawn reaction from him? Well, yes, it’s possible. Though I don’t think he fears her this much — he’s a skilful fighter, clearly stronger than she is, has just successfully fought 4 men, whatever the witch she is, I think he’s very much capable to stop her if he wants (just let me joke that he’s exactly where he wants to be).
But we can also interpret this as hesitancy or, rather, uncertainty, as waiting for what comes next.
I understand him as being curious or intrigued — he went with her willingly after she said «It’s yours to know, if your spirit is willing», well, he is willing! — maybe not exactly «Oh, I’m so intrigued by her I’ll follow her anywhere» but also not «I know she manipulates me and I fear for my life» because if that’s was the case it would be smart for him to just get away from the castle asap and not follow her back.
So imagine he’s curious of that strange woman he spend some time around; woman that cared for his wounds and cradled him after his nightmares; women that showed no resentment to him the way his mother did — nor was payed to be with him as Sylvi was.
He already spend some time with her, he’s familiar with her — notice how in previous scene, when she applies ointment on his face, her other hand falls on his shoulder and then down his back (what a glorious naked back, Mr. Mitchell, thank you for your service) and he doesn’t twitch, he doesn’t remove her hand, he’s shown no clear discomfort with her touch — so he allows her to be in his personal space. And then she hugs him and moves him closer (i’m devastated we didn’t get the whole scene with her hand on his waist) and he just allows it. Again, with no visible discomfort or disgust or resentment. (And if you ever tried to move somewhere a guy over 1.8 m tall you know it’s pretty hard to do if they are not willing, so as I said he’s just where he wants to be lol)
And then this woman talks about something that is — presumably — one of his dreams.
We don’t know that for sure, but from the book we can draw a conclusion that he was acknowledging her being with their child. Didn’t force her to get rid of it, didn’t abandoned them, but took her to God’s Eye where she was seen with him. So — at the very least he’s not against the idea of having kids in general or with her in particular.
I don’t really see him as a family guy (even though I can agree with this interpretation as well!), but mostly I think this scene was about him seeing he’s important to someone.
«I will be The Lady of the Water and you - The dragonlord by my side» — notice how with one phrase she acknowledges his power and value, while showing no interest in his royal status. She doesn’t say «You could be a king and I could be your queen» (which could be used if she really wanted to manipulate him because didn’t he already show his desire for a crown?). No, she shows him a possibility of a different reality and she shows him she’s interested more in Aemond the Dragonrider then in Aemond the Prince Regent.
So here we are with this kiss — she offers him knowledge and he accepts willingly (fact) + she initiates closeness and he accepts her in his personal pace (fact) + she’s talking and he’s listening (fact) + she’s kissing him and he’s answering (also fact — if you watch this moment closely, he answers the kiss immediately)
But also — she offers him knowledge and he agrees as a curious nerdy boy he is (interpretation) + she talks of things he wants and he’s hesitant because he never allowed himself to pursue these things (interpretation) + she kisses him because she wants to kiss him and he kisses her back because he wants it too (interpretation)
If you’re still here — thank you for reading this! Share you thoughts with me, pls ❤️
I swear, understanding Alysmond, in all its twisted complexity, is as easy as watching the Ewan and Gayle videos. But I know the people dog piling on this dynamic won't touch those with a 10 foot pole. They just want to hate and direct their anger at Gayle specifically lol.
Love how Alys’s final boss play in How To Win & Influence Aemond Targaryen was to present him a crate full of fertility/procreation symbols (that are also tied directly to his biological lineage)—along with her proposal. It’s some delicious Freudian icing on the cake of how she initially indulged and is now transferring his Maternal/Oedipal yearnings into something else, something more…productive. Evolving their dynamic from the previous episode, Caretaker/Mother & Hurt Child, into Mother & Father. Basically telling him that the way to finally move on from the Hurt Child is to become the Strong Father. Like she’s moving him through Jungian life archetypes.
And it makes all the sense that she’d start on that phase after Aemond, at the end of their previous episode’s arc, proved his motivation and ability to protect. “It’s been long since anyone sought to defend me” (3x06). Parents are protectors, and Fathers especially are protectors of the whole (archetypal) family, of Mother and Child(ren). And it seems like Aemond was already starting to subconsciously pick up what she was about to put down. “All I put my hand to withers beneath its touch” (3x06). As he tenderly yet tentatively holds one of the fertility symbols—the opposite of destruction, creation. And Alys rests it all on an emotional foundation of, Why not merge our respective loneliness into a power couple and a shared family? And finally, overlapping their kiss, a bloodied and warming dragon egg grasped between them, the transition into the next scene begins with the sound of a crying baby.
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