“ fuck those losers. ”
“ fuck them in their stupid fucking faces. ”
“ I’m a bad motherfucker, yeah! ”
“ where was this energy at my inauguration assembly, folks? ”
“ I hope I never have to see any of you ever again, okay? ”
“ he’s useless. ”
“ let’s get through the day without anything horrible happening. ”
“ delegates from every group of girls are casting their ballots for his penis. ”
“ are there exceptions for ass-kissers? ”
“ yeah, no one’s gonna wear a shirt with your face on it, ”
“ well, blood attracts lions. I’m saving lives. ”
“ I, too, have a fear of big cats. ”
“ they’re, you know, they’re stuck on a boat shitting in buckets. ”
“ excuse me, pardon me? I’m a fun person to have sleepovers and lie around with. ”
“ well, with her, there’d be more… vagina involved. ”
“ while you guys were all studying ap hand jobs, I was kicking ass and busting curves. ”
“ don’t judge me, it was my fifth choice: harvard. ”
“ if you don’t say something In the next ten minutes I’m gonna take you to the hospital, ”
“ I don’t wanna say I’m getting concerned But to be honest I’m getting concerned. ”
“ the dust bowl can wait, bitch! ”
“ you can make yourself cum using only your mind? ”
“ oh, that’s too much milk. he.. he just had too much milk. ”
“ but the possum didn’t die. its adrenaline and… and rage - just made it start chasing her… ”
“ those guys seem quiet, but they’re probably spending every weekend at, like, a sex dungeon. ”
“ and as soon as I got high, I just cried about the fact - that one day my mom will die, so… ”
“ the re-election is coming up and I need to know if I have to buy your votes. ”
“ uh, ____, I have no genitals. ”
“ you need to throw up! ”
“ if you ever say anything like that about yourself again, I will fucking lay you out, okay? ”
“ two half-cheese, half-sausage pizzas are just one cheese and one sausage pizza, you fucking morons. ”
“ …you guys are so stupid, some dog walker’s gonna find your bodies tomorrow under some overpass. ”
“ the porn. we streamed a lot of porn. ”
“ you know I’m banned from jamba juice? ”
“ I cannot have another mango-a-go-go ever again. ”
“ you’re just one of those people who claims they’re honest, or calling people on their shit, when you’re really just mean. ”
“ I mean, she once tried to shiv our mailman because she thought he laughed at me. ”
“ I’m not gonna, like, suck a dick at my own home where my father can walk in at any moment. ”
“ also, I wanna enjoy it. fucking sue me. ”
“ you are the motherfucker who got arrested the night before graduation. ”
“ I was so… scared of you. I felt like I had to prove that I was better than you. ”
“ I don’t usually leave my underwear in… in places that are… that aren’t my room. ”
“ go make those tampons, girl. ”
“ I can be the last one on the plane. ”
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