i still remember that girl

She's imperfect, but she tries. She is good, but she lies. She is hard on herself, She is b r o k e n and won't ask for help. She is messy, but she's kind. She is l o n e l y most of the time.

[ofhistorian-blog]

“I keep forgetting that you’re still so young — I think I have to apologize for that…” frankly, Delphine wasn’t exactly used to spending so much time with people younger than her. She was sure that she wouldn’t be able to connect with them on a personal level, and it seemed as though, that Fred was quite literally the only exception – most people her age were in completely different places, always wanting something else, filling every second to the brim with exciting things, positive energy and things similar to that; it wasn’t her speed anymore. Right now, all Delphine wanted was peace, someone to go back home to, and financial stability. While she had two out of three, she still could feel quite empty at times, but she wasn’t above everyone else to keep complaining about it when she was as successful as she is right now – that was just the price she needed to pay for all of it, after all.

“You would think that this song is about something else, but… if you think… deeper about it, or read the translated lyrics, you’ll find out it’s still about the act of… fornication,” she struggled with finding the correct words and signing them, but she braved through it. “I, uh…thank you, Miss Berliner.” Delphine murmured, dipping her head down for a moment, as a rather shy smile made its way on her lips and her defined cheeks flushed in a faint pink shade. “I am not sure my opinion will be the most relevant one, since I am… a little bitbiased now, but I will do my best to be up and honest — it’d be an honor, truly.”

With a hint of a shy smile, Frederica diverted her look from Delphine to the floor of her office. She never really considered herself to be like people her age, so she certainly understood where the other one was coming from saying she often forgot about their age gap. Fred knew people her age, she appreciated that they were living their life their own ways, but she also knew she’d never truly be like them. Her sister had always told her she was born old, and in that, she was right. Freddie had always been mature, that being the key difference between her and Adalicia. But now, at twenty-eight, those who didn’t really take the time to even talk to her, always saw her as a regular young woman living her life to the fullest. She was glad Delphine saw past that. “I hope you don’t find me too young for you, Miss Thorne,” she bluntly said as she brought her eyes back to Delphine’s, “that is, too young for you to befriend, of course.” She smirked to stop herself from chuckling.

She shook her head, disappointed. As someone with great love for music, Fred hated knowing what it had turned into. She was never an elitist musician as she did know how to appreciate a nice pop bop, but she firmly disliked how mainstream music was becoming more and more futile. “These people sing so much about sex it makes me think if they’re actually getting any.” Frederica took notice of Delphine’s comment and nodded in a way to thank her. She was so incredibly thankful for the woman for having given her an outlet to speak out against pointless slander, and she did take Delphine’s opinion into consideration. “Please do. I’d love to hear any feedback from you. You do seem like you have great taste.” 

[ofhistorian-blog]

She couldn’t help but smile at the other woman’s reaction to her words – there was just something slightly satisfying about seeing someone recalling things from the past, just as if it happened not a long time ago; it was, in the best way possible, an entertaining thing to observe. “I can’t really blame you for that,” she spoke up, nodding ever so slowly, “I believe if I wasn’t so busy with writing and pursuing my career, I would’ve been all over the party scene, and I would get to listen to that song over and over again – I’d reach the point ofinsanity, but I am sure I would end up liking it, in the end…” once she trailed off, Delphine let out a silent, soft chuckle. She would have to thank her younger self for not being a stereotypical party person, otherwise she wouldn’t own everything she does now, and that would’ve been simply just tragic. “— rich people are usually the saddest individuals you’ll ever meet,” the woman admitted. “Thankfully, I cannot relate to that.” In a way, she still could, but that wasn’t exactly a thing Freddie needed to know now, right? “I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Delphine countered, signing without the confidence she had before. “I believe that I am one of those ‘fine wine’ kind of women…”

For a second, Freddie wanted to look down and sigh. After twelve years of living as a deaf person, she had no problem talking about music or voices or anything of the sort, but from time to time she just wanted to be a bit whiny about it. She always fought that urge, of course, as she’d taught herself she was better than to sit and cry about something she can’t change. But even after everything, Fred was glad she had auditory memory before her accident. “Oh, I definitely wasn’t in the party scene at sixteen years old.” She laughed, smiling brightly at the older woman. “I’m glad now that I am somewhat more on the socializing side of things I don’t have to listen to that D-E-S-P-A-C-I-T-O song everybody keeps complaining about.” Fred confessed as she’d just lifted weight off her shoulders, still smiling. “Fine wine.” She made a point to repeat the words briefly but firmly, letting her look wonder away from Delphine’s lips to her eyes. “Very fine, indeed.” Before the businesswoman could even begin to respond, Frederica continued. “Speaking of wine, I’m having a wine and cheese night at my place this week. I finished a new piece and I wanted some people’s opinion on it.”

[ofhistorian-blog]

‘Yes,’ she signed, ‘It’s called “Pony”, and it’s not about that kind of pony most people would think it is.’ As Delphine continued, she made sure she was talking and moving her hands at the same time, just in case the other couldn’t quite get what she was talking about. Being rusty in Sign Language had its perks, apparently. “I can’t say you’ve missed much – nowadays, it’s all about bragging about being rich, having sex with plethora of people and overall nastiness, slapped all over the same beat,” she replied, focusing on her own movements rather than the other person – it wasn’t to be perceived as rude, it was more of a self-moral support because she knew she wasn’t the best at signing; she wanted to better herself at it, but the time was her number one enemy now. “I believe that I was your age, then – if not older.”

Frederica shook her head slightly as she couldn’t help bu squint her eyes a bit while laughing. ‘Yup, I know that one,’ she signed as she had her guess confirmed by Delphine, ‘I only heard it once or twice, but I remember it like I heard it yesterday.’ She smiled amusedly as she told the other about it. “I like it.” Fred shrugged. Despite the song’s creepy way of re-characterizing a pony into something else, she could appreciate the impact the work had made — if you could call it that. ‘Nasty isn’t good, no. But being rich must be, not that I know of, unfortunately.’ She stopped herself in time to let her smile turn into a slight smirk. ‘Having sex with plethora of people is nice though, that I can say,’ she noted, sticking exclusively to signing just because she loved the sign for sex way too much not to use it given the opportunity. “Oh, yeah, you were older than I am now,” Freddie allowed herself to speak while signing again, “and I bet even more incredibly beautiful than you are now, if that’s possible.” She smiled in Delphine’s direction, eyes locked on the woman’s lips. 

[xdelphine-blog]

“I’ve been working out with my Discover Weekly playlist on Spotify and after a long session with one hit wonders and Spice Girls…” Delphine trailed off, hiding her face in both of her hands for a moment, or two. “‘Pony’ came on and it has been stuck in my head for hours, and I am slowly getting convinced that I might go crazy in any time soon…”

[ofhistorian-blog]

Fred chuckled. Despite not having a Spotify account for obvious reasons, she had a mild understanding of what the Discover Weekly playlist was. And as for Spice Girls, that she knew very, very well. “Pony?” She spoke in an unsure mumble, her eyebrows furrowed as she was almost certain she’d read Delphine’s lips right, but still wanted to confirm. “P-O-N-Y?” She finger-spelled, laughing, then continued to sign, “the 1996 R&B hit? Wow.” Fred shook her head at the humor situation. Scratching her throat, Frederica chose to sign while speaking, aware that although Delphine did know some ASL, she wasn’t the most fluent. “I feel your pain, though. My head is stuck with songs only up until 2005, and I was a teenager so you can imagine I didn’t have a very vast musical library. There’s too much NSYNC engraved in my brain.”

[noraselig-blog]

Nora had made her way to a café near the hospital, desperate for some proper coffee between all the cups of the less than enjoyable vending machine stuff she consumed during a normal shift. Glancing up from the newspaper she had been flipping through absentmindedly, she shook her head firmly. “Look, I don’t know a whole lot about the hottest music of today but surely there are more than three popular songs they could play. Or perhaps this place is in one of those time loops.” 

[ofhistorian-blog]

The coffee shop was way too crowded for her taste, but Freddie couldn’t just let go of the lattes they made there. Grabbing her drink and thanking the barista, she turned around the scanned the environment for a place to sit. Unfortunately, there was no completely empty tables, and it didn’t take her more than a second to decide to sit on a table where a woman read the news. Fred wasn’t reading anything, nor was she focused on anything other than her coffee, so she was quick to catch on the woman speaking when she looked up from the paper. “Oh, they’re playing music?” She responded, surprised. “This place looks hectic enough, I can’t imagine how chaotic it must be for everybody.” Fred smiled a friendly smile then pointed her finger to one of her ears. “I’m deaf, so... Thank you, because if it weren’t for you I wouldn’t have known we’re in a time loop. You kinda saved me there.” 

[levicailian-blog]

“i saved six lives today. six,” levi smirked as he turned to face the nearest person. “six out of six, man. that means you should totally buy me a drink.” 

[ofhistorian-blog]

Freddie looked up as she noticed the man that was now facing her. She furrowed her eyebrows as she noticed she probably had missed something he’d said before looking at her. “Six out of six what?” She asked, curious. I mean, she had no problem buying him a celebratory drink for whatever victory he’d just had, just she’d like to know what she was spending her money on. “I think I missed what you first said.”

[esconnor]

         “ is it weird that i’m craving a greasy burger after taking care of a heart transplant patient all  day? ”

[ofhistorian-blog]

“Is it ever weird to crave burgers?” Fred spoke confidently despite not being able to hear. She’d mastered the art of reading lips and body language as well as the art of not being nervous about speaking, or worrying if she’s pronoucing anything wrong or skipping syllables, so she had the situation handled. “Although burgers aren’t my favorite food, I just can’t avoid the crave from time to time.” She was completely turned into the man’s direction as to keep the conversation going, her eyes locked focus on his lips.

[zoekravitzdaily]

👦🏼

[ofhistorian-blog]

Is that ZOE KRAVITZ? No, it’s just Chicago’s own FREDERICA “FRED” BERLINER. Her identification will tell you that she is TWENTY-EIGHT and that she is an ARTIST/HISTORIAN. She is known for being BRAVE and CHARMING but catch her on a bad day and she is LONELY and RECKLESS. 

[car accident tw, death tw]

!!!!! hi i’m dan and i’m super duper excited??? well anyway, this is my baby fred, or freddie, or whatever you want to call her.... and yeah. i love her, come love her too.

i’ll be throwing a bit of fred’s bullet points at y’all so you can get to know her a little bit better, yeah? c:

she’s a chicagoan, born and raised, and very very happy to be living in the city

she was born to jewish father and mother, both of them had parents who came to america after ww2, and she had a twin sister called adalicia.

her twin sister died in the car accident in which fred lost her hearing, they were sixteen years old

ever since, fred’s felt incomplete but she kept her life going. she transfered to a deaf school were she learned ASL and got to know more about the deaf community

she then got more into art as a way of expressing herself and trying to cope with the loss of her sister and her parents’ marriage violently falling apart as the days passed by

she went to college an majored in fine arts with a focus in the history of art

she teaches a sculpture class at the university of chicago once a week and spends the rest of her time doing her own stuff

she’s got a nice vibe to her, although many people have told her she does look sad a lot of the time

fred is the biggest ‘trier’ you’ll ever meet - she won’t give up on anything easily

well idk what else, i’m still building up the little pieces to fred’s personality and stuff, but in general she’s just really friendly and out-going and makes no excused, but at the same time can be a little frickle. she stands up for herself and takes no shit.