* ∘ ∙ — misc social media sentence starters.
“i hit rock bottom once a week”
“i’m working on transcending materiality altogether & becoming incorporeal.”
“i feel like i’m already tired tomorrow”
“does anyone else have a resting bitch face™, but kinda enjoys looking intimidating”
“gay? straight? i’m stressed”
“fuck a double text i’ll quadruple text u. u think i care????? buzz buzz its me again bitch”
“break her bed not her heart”
“this is the least illegal shit i’ve done all day”
“being shut up by a kiss is not romantic you let me finishing talking first asshole!!!! how dare you!!! interrupt me!!! do you know who i am”
“my future husband is going to have the coolest wife lol u go dude”
“movies are so weird people hang out like twice and theyre all like ‘im in love with you’ calm down maybe
“i love the kind of woman that can kick my ass”
“idk who i am but i like girls”
“pro tip: fill the piñata with absolutely nothing to prepare your kids for the letdowns of adulthood”
“next time i’m opening up to someone is my autopsy”
“what that mouth do? eat bitch”
“now this is the content i like to see”
“it’s a beautiful day to give me money”
“if you wear crocs there’s no help for you i’m sorry”
“i’m gonna replace every bone in my body with a knife, if someone punches me they’re in for a surprise (the knife)“
“spooning is out, spatulaing is the next big trend. slide up behind your partner and then launch them out of bed”
“i am, as the poets say, a mess”
“cracking open a cold one with the girls except it’s my icy heart and they’re teaching me how to love again”
gummygunk
pixelskylines
blakekathryn
