The Original Works of Lacksubstance Studios

This is all original writings that will be featured on here. Paypal

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

The Salvation - Prologue

Here is a sneak peek of what to expect from my first ever self-published novel, The Salvation.

Brief Summary: It’s been ten years since the government went quiet and the sickness took over. Rumors of a place that keeps the healthy safe and flourishing are circling the nation. The story follows Maddie and her journey with her group in search of this said place known as the Salvation.

My dad died when I was a baby, so it was always just my mom and I. My childhood wasn’t different from anyone else who had both parents aside from the fact that I guess I had to grow up pretty early because my mom worked so much.

She was a nurse and working nights were not ideal in the least bit but my mom knew she had a better paycheck in the long run. I didn’t feel too bad because I knew my mom was just doing what was best for us and I knew she would rather be home with me. And it wasn’t like I never saw her.

During her days off on our weekly grocery store trips, were always the best. I hate thinking about it now because the memories are too much.

Ten years ago. A whole decade has passed since the world no longer became functional. Everyone thought the government would just take care of it till they realized C-SPAN no longer aired and all the mainstream news stations were blank. The government fell and the infection was too much for any scientist to manage.

The world as we knew it ceased to exist. But it wasn’t all hopeless because my mom was resourceful. She was a nurse and valuable to the group we had met along the way. It wasn’t forever, my mom would always say. One day we would find a place where we could stay and would no longer have to keep moving.

We held on to that hope and believed there was a utopian place that existed and that’s when we heard rumors of this place north of us called: The Salvation.

Thinking of it kept us going as we started moving north. And as the weather began to change from winter to spring, things for us only got worse. The sick got stronger during the warmer months much like traveling for us got easier without snow slowing us down.

And that’s where things begin. It’s been ten years since all governments fell silent as infected outweighed the number of healthy people in the world. It’s been five since my mom and I discovered our group, and they’ve become more of a family than just a bunch of people helping one another to survive.

And I believe without a doubt, we will reach this place known as the Salvation. I have to hold faith in something when all hope has been lost.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 9 (Final Chapter)

Summary: Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detectives on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

The next morning, I get up bright and early in hopes that I can get out the hospital quicker, but alas, I have to wait till the doctor assess the wound before I can get discharged. I really just wanted to get to the courthouse and see MacKenzie. Something about the way things were left off last night didn’t feel right to me, I wanted to make things right if I did anything wrong. I know I couldn’t have. I did my job, right? I protected her and if I didn’t then, maybe that is something I need to own up to.

“All right, Detective Rae, let’s see this wound so we can get you out of here,” the doctor comes in with my file in hand along with a nurse in tow. He pulls the blanket back and lifts the gown, peeling off the dressing. He examines the stitches and the surrounding area. “Do you feel any pain? And be honest, I know you cops try to be tough as nails, but it’s okay to have feelings,” he adds.

“It is a little tender,” I admit but he nods slowly.

“That’s normal. I’ll prescribe something for the pain which will bring down the inflammation around the surrounding area. I instructed you can go back to work in a week; however, you will be on desk duty until you are completely healed. Hopefully, afterward you won’t have another near-death experience,” he elaborates and I smirk softly.

“I’m a detective, my entire job is about near-death experiences. Some just end up better than others,” I reply and he sighs, shaking his head as the nurse gives him a fresh piece of gauges.

“Sure, but you have to remind yourself of one important thing before jumping into the danger zone,” he says, placing it on top of the stitched wound as the paper tape is handed to him.

“Which is?”

He places the pieces of tape around the gauges to keep it in place. “There is more to life than work. People who care for you are more important than catching the bad guys sometimes,” he says placing pieces of gauges and a roll of tape into my bag.

“What if the bad guys are after the people you love? Would I let that go?”

He stands up straight and sighs. “Well, that’s a conundrum, though I suppose if that is the case then, injury is unavoidable.” He says truly stumped. “I just hope that after all of that, you make sure they know they are loved,” he adds. “Anyway, the wound looks good. You will need to change the dressing every other day, keep it dry and try not to overwork yourself,” he instructs as he walks out, leaving me with the nurse to help me get dressed quietly while I am left to think about the conversation that we just had.

Much to Mendoza’s dismay, I convince him to take me to the courthouse instead of my apartment. I want to be there to support MacKenzie, even if it is from a distance as I don’t want to distract her. I sit in the far back as she is taking the stand. I can tell she’s nervous, though I don’t believe anyone else sees it. She looks beautiful and professional in her blouse and skirt. I just hope that once this is all said and done, she can finally put this behind her and get on with her life.

She explains what she saw the night of the killing and what transpired between all of us in the club the other day.

“You were taken to the club and then what happened?” The prosecutor asks.

She takes a deep breath. “I was held hostage while one of the men, I believe Keith was on the phone and the other guy was making sexual advances towards me. I feared for my life,” she says as tears start to well up in her eyes.

“And then what?”

“The guy who was making advances was asked to check something out leaving me with Keith. It wasn’t long before the door was open and—,” she stops short as her eyes land on me almost immediately. I give her an encouraging nod for her to keep going. “—and Detective Rae came in and saved my life.”

“In the process of everything, Detective Rae had to be hospitalized due to quite the severe stab wound by Keith Jabbar,” the prosecutor states to put on record for both the judge and the jury’s consideration. “I have no further questions,” he finishes before walking to sit down. I stand up to walk out leaving Mendoza in the room.

- - -

I wait outside the courthouse off to the side after sending a text to MacKenzie of where I am. I hear the sound of heels clicking against the stone walkway. She comes into my vision and turns her head just as the wind picks up slightly. I’m leaning against the wall as she walks over to me.

“You should be resting,” she says.

“I needed to see you,” I tell her as the air gets caught in her lungs, but she quickly recovers.

“Well, you saw me.”

I shake my head in confusion. “Why are you acting like you want nothing to do with me?”

She gets silent as if trying to figure out if she wants to tell me or just walk away and ignore the question altogether, but she does neither one and instead stands there.

I nod slowly, accepting it the way it is. “I guess this is it then. Your life is about to get back to normal, so I won’t need to be in your life anymore. I hope you become the best forensic scientist you can be,” I say, walking around her to leave her alone for good.

“I’m scared!”

I stop in my tracks. I don’t turn, but I listen. “I’m scared that I’ll wake up one day and you won’t be here. Seeing you nearly die in my arms, it terrified me,” she says and I turn around to see tears streaming down her face.

“I get it. You’re trying to protect yourself,” I tell her slowly walking back to her.

She lets out a sob. “I’m fighting so hard between protecting myself from possibly losing you and wanting to just say, fuck it and kiss you,” she sniffles.

I walk closer to her to where I am face to face with her. I place my hands on both sides of her face, using my thumbs to wipe tears away. She places her hands on my wrists. “I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of fighting,” I tell her softly before leaning forward and kissing her deeply.

I imagined what it would be like to kiss MacKenzie for a while now and it is not anywhere near what I expected. It’s better. I feel like I could do anything and all the crap we’ve been through, all the little things leading up to this moment has been worth the wait.

She pulls away and stares up at me still with some reservations in her eyes. “Whatever happens, I promise that I will always come back to you,” I tell her in hopes that will ease her mind. She wraps her arms around my neck and places a kiss on my neck.

I can only hope this is the start of something amazing and special.

Six Months Later

I’m looking at the newspaper headline:

Kline and Known Associates Get Life in Prison!

I want to say it is bittersweet, but it is just sweet to see that good does prevail, especially in such a high profile case. I couldn’t ask for a better outcome. I got quite the scar out of it, I got the swanky position even though Mendoza got Chief, and best of all—

Three individuals walk down the hall in their lab coats. I immediately spot one in particular who is listening intently to Jean Figs, the top forensic analyst in the department. She looks up at me and keeps her gaze on me, making a small air kiss in my direction. I smile back at her as she walks away.

—-best of all, I got the girl. Six months with MacKenzie has been great. She is officially doing her paid internship with the department and already has a job opportunity in the works here because Figs likes her that much.

Today is her last day of her internship and I couldn’t be more proud of her. Tonight we’re planning to celebrate, but what she doesn’t know is this will call for another celebration. Tonight I plan to ask her to move in with me. We already lived with each other in the past, but now that we’ve been together, she barely goes to her apartment anymore. Our meeting and relationship are hardly conventional, but I know this is the one thing I’m most sure of.

Protecting her was and will always be my biggest achievement. So I’m ready for whatever the future has in store of us, I’ll be ready.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Have your say: New Prompt Genre to Pick From

Voice your opinion on the poll: New Prompt Genre to Pick From

With “Protecting You” coming to a close, I decided I’d post a poll to see what type of story you would like to see for the next feature on the blog or if you would rather me start working on my novel solely and only post excerpts of that instead. I don’t know if this poll will allow you to vote twice, but in case you would rather have two options, just message me and I’ll see if I can make that happen. 

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 8

Summary: Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detectives on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown. Maybe it was adrenaline. Or maybe it’s just knowing the betrayal of a man I looked up to throughout my entire career on the force, that forced me to react the way I did.

“Walk,” he tells me and I know this isn’t it. This isn’t over for me and MacKenzie. She’s got her entire life to live. She has school to finish so she can become the best analysis she can be. I can’t let her down, not again.

I stop in my tracks, squaring my jaw, feeling the barrel of the gun press deeper into my back as I defy his orders.

“I won’t hesitate to kill you where you stand Rae,” he says pushing it even harder than before. I take a deep breath before either of us realize what is happening, the gun is in my own hand and I’m pointing it at his forehead.

“You seem to underestimate me. I have more training than you could ever think to learn in the academy,” I tell him, my voice hard and stern.

“You won’t kill me,” he breathes out like he knows me. That’s the thing though, I’m not looking to kill anyone, I’m looking to save this girl I’ve grown to care deeply for and end this tyranny once and for all.

“You’re right, I’m not going to kill you,” I tell him, before smacking him in the head the gun prompting his body to collapse to the ground motionless. I stare down at him in disgust and disappointment, then check back to the window and see the scene below hasn’t changed.

I have to find a way inside without being noticed when I decide to go back to the Chief’s body and search for his phone, searching through his recent contacts to immediately fall on Keith’s name. I call and run quickly back to the window to hear the ringing and see him pulling it out of his pocket.  

As he speaks, I toss the phone to the side and he reacts to it, getting Jack’s attention. Jack gets up, leaving MacKenzie alone with Keith. I quickly walk over to the back door as I see Jack walk out, prompting me to match my mark and jump right on top of him and smack him with the gun too, knocking him out.

I lift him up on my shoulders and use the stairs to bring him on the roof with the Chief’s body. I search his body for weapons and holster his gun into my back pocket, grabbing his phone and placing it in my pocket. Taking my phone out I call up Mendoza for backup and to check the roof, hanging up before he can even say anything.

I quickly get down the stairs, before opening the door, coming face to face with Keith as he holds MacKenzie in his arm with his gun to her temple. She looks terrified as my gun remains pointed at him.

“You’re done, Keith! The police are on their way, you have no backup,” you tell him as he smirks.

“I think I have the upper hand here, don’t you think?” He says placing a bit of emphasis on the situation of him holding the gun to MacKenzie’s head. “So I think it’d be best if you dropped your gun,” he adds.

I keep it up as MacKenzie stares at me, tears starting to streak down her cheeks. Her eyes bore into me as she mouths ‘it’s okay’, like it’s over, but I refuse to give up. If I drop this gun now, then what will stop him from turning against me and shooting me or shooting MacKenzie. I can’t risk this.

“I said, drop it or I’ll shoot her fucking brains out!” Keith yells his frustration getting the best of him. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket, I’m hoping its Mendoza, but in case it isn’t, I have to act.

I look for a possible route to where I can still keep both of them alive, but I don’t see it. I can feel myself struggling until I finally let out a puff of air and put the gun down at my side in defeat.

His smile grows as he pulls the gun away from MacKenzie’s temple. “I’m so glad you could see it, my way detective,” he says just as MacKenzie sinks her teeth into his skin causing him to let out a scream and push her off to the side.

I look up just in time to raise my gun and shoot him right in the arm. MacKenzie screams loudly at the bang just as he screams out as the bullet rips into his arm. The backup comes rushing in with their guns raised.

“You got this under control Rae?” Mendoza says with his gun up and I nod. “We got the roof cleared like you instructed,” he adds as I holstered my pistol. I rush over to MacKenzie as an officer is checking for any injuries while Keith is being held down. As I do so, I feel myself get tripped to the ground by feet and before I know it Keith is on top of me, with a knife in hand. The officers that were holding him down are getting up just as Keith sinks his knife into my stomach.

I yell out in pain as he twists it. “I am enjoying making you scream,” he whispers harshly into my face as the officers reach him to pull him off. MacKenzie rushes over to my side as the pain grows and my concentration is becoming lost.

“Stay with me Sasha,” she whispers softly.

I focus on her voice before my vision goes black.

I wake up feeling the cold immediately reach my skin. The pale white walls and the thin gown I’m wearing is all the information I need to know that I’m in the hospital. I look to my left and see Mendoza talking to his other officers, just as he glances over and sees me awake, he excuses himself and walks into the room.

“Glad to see you not dead,” he says and I roll my eyes at him. “The doctor said you suffered some blood loss and overall the wound didn’t hit anything major. You just need to get some rest to make sure the stitches don’t tear,” he adds and I nod.

“How’s MacKenzie?” I ask and he smiles, placing his hand on my shoulder comforting.

“She’s good. Not a single scratch on her, but she is hard to get rid of,” he says as I look over confused. “She hasn’t left the waiting room,” he adds. “I’ll send her in.”

He walks out leaving me alone to collect my thoughts. What do I even say to her? The feelings we have for each other is clearly undeniable. Is this whole thing over to the point where I don’t have to look over her anymore?

A small knock sounds and MacKenzie stands there unsure of herself till I wave her to come in. She walks in timid as she sits down in the chair by my bedside. “How are you holding up?” I ask her and she smiles.

“Better than you.”

I shrug. “Eh, it’s just a scratch,” I tell her, but she doesn’t laugh.

“I thought you were going to die,” she says quietly.

I place my hand upon hers, causing her to look up at me. “Hey, I’m okay and I’ll be fine. The doctor said I just need to rest until the stitches are gone. I could probably even go back to work, just need to stay on desk duty,” I explain to her as she shakes her head, clearly bothered at what she witnessed. I don’t blame her as I know if I saw her in that situation, I don’t know what I would have done.

She sits there silent almost deep in thought before looking up. I silently ask her with my eyes, but she ignores it. “I’m glad you’re doing okay,” she says as she gets up. “I have to prepare for the court case. It’s tomorrow. The judge requested to move it up to make sure all his associates and he are put away,” she explains and I nod in understanding.

“Well good luck then. I’m getting discharged tomorrow, I think,” I tell her hopeful to maybe see her, but with a tight-lip she nods before walking out, leaving me with a sinking feeling.

[kennaxval-deactivated20191121]

List of Recommended Writers

So I absolutely love reading the works of my fellow Tumblr writers. Their work does so much to inspire me and I have a ton of respect for them. I have been beyond entertained; at times I’ve had powerful emotions stirred within me.  If I post something of yours and I’ve left out any of your stories, it’s because I’m unaware of its existence, so please send me a link to anything I’ve left out. If I mention you in this post, it’s because I am legitimately a fan of yours and I seriously want to read everything you have written.

Keep reading

[kennaxval-deactivated20191121]

Here’s the latest batch of fics! This is from my February reading and I’m excited to include @rocket-scientist07 @annabellewerecorgi @sirbeepsalot @hana-lee-protection-squad @og-lacksubstance-studios @mysteli and @delphinusbae

@rocket-scientist07

For You Chapter 1 (Kamilah x MC)

Jaded (Kamilah x MC)

Debriefed (Kamilah x MC)

@stopforamoment

Meeting Mr. Ariti (Bastien x OC)

Mr. Ariti Part 2 (Bastien x OC)

Part 3 Mr. Ariti’s Proposal (Bastien x OC)

Part 4 Mr. Ariti and Mr. Halkais (Bastien x OC)

Part 5 Mr. Ariti’s Legacy (Bastien x OC)

My Funny Valentine (Bastien x OC)

@innerpostmentality

Coffee with Hyclea (Liam x OC)

Sometimes Beginnings Start with Goodbye (Drake x MC)

Sometimes Beginnings Start with Goodbye Part 2 (Drake x MC)

Missing You (Liam x OC)

@begging-for-kamilah

Kamilah x MC Fluff ABC

True Love (Kamilah x Gaius) (NSFW)

Just Go With It Part 2 (Kamilah x MC x Priya) (NSFW)

Unexpected (Kamilah x MC)

The First Time (Kamilah x MC) (NSFW)

@tornbetween2loves

Shifting Focus (Olivia x Bastien)

Smitten (Tina x Joe)

Her Sweet Prince (Olivia x Liam)

Attitude Adjustment (Hana x Maxwell)

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder (Liam x MC x Drake) (NSFW)

A Story Worth Telling: A Perfect Blend (Kenna x Val x OC)

Pregnancy Hormones (Olivia x Liam) (NSFW)

A Story Worth Telling: Heightened Senses (Kenna x Val x OC) (NSFW)

Choices (Kenna x Val)

Kenna x Val x OC NSFW ABC

Liam x MC x Drake Fluff ABC

@sawyeroakleyscowboyhat

‘Yes’ to the Dress- Drake x OC

An Heir Part 6 (Liam/Istvan x MC)

@darley1101

On Top of the World (Adrian x MC)

Baked with Love (Hana x MC)

@speedyoperarascalparty

Naked and Afraid Chapter 4: CGW

Naked and Afraid Chapter 5: CGW

Naked and Afraid Chapter 6: CGW

@paytonsaunders

Could This Be Real? (Becca x Madison)

@ritachacha

The Pain is in the Knowing Part 2 (Savannah x Maxwell)

@alj4890

Amanda’s Part 1 Close Call (Amanda x Maxwell)

@strangerofbraidwood

The Not So Royal Romance Chapter 1 (Olivia x OC/Hana x OC)

The Not So Royal Romance Chapter 2 (Olivia x OC/Hana x OC)

The Not So Royal Romance Chapter 3 (Olivia x OC/Hana x OC)

First Embrace (Eleanor x MC)

Haunted (Eleanor x MC)

The Final Farewell (Eleanor x MC)

Burning Desire (Hana x MC) (NSFW)

Sleep (Hana x MC)

The Gift (Hana x MC)

Hana x Ember NSFW ABC

@queerchoicesblog

Not Your Perfect Match (Alana x MC x Hayden)

A Father’s Daughter (Annabelle x MC)

Missing You (Alana x MC)

Good Morning, Habibti (Kamilah x MC) (NSFW)

Tipsy (Naomi x MC) (NSFW)

A Trip to Wyoming (Naomi x MC)

@teamtomsato

The Third Park Part 14 (Damien x OC)

@rafasgirl23415

Fear & Confusion (Lana x Rafael) 

@jbzxls

The Flirty Freshman Part 15

@blackcatkita

The Consequences of Secrets Part 10 The Island (Drake)

Yearning for New York (Liam x MC)

@indescribablechoices

No Beat, No Melody (Harper x MC)

A Garden You Never Get to See (Harper x MC)

@littleredroseonthevalley

Confrontation-Kaitlyn 

@bobasheebaby

Standing All Alone (Liam x MC)

@delphinusbae

I Couldn’t Be More in Love (Becca x MC)

@choicesbyjade

It’s Not a Date (Hamid x MC)

@thesupernaturaldoctorat221b

This Little Family of Ours (Liam x MC, Leo x MC)

@llovewrites

Elevated Secrets (Olivia x Drake) (NSFW)

@maxattack-powell

Chris x MC NSFW ABC

@lolablackwrites

Writers Retreat Part 4 Chris x MC)

@hana-lee-protection-squad

Angelic (Hana x MC)

@annabellewerecorgi

A Run (Kamilah x MC)

@sirbeepsalot

Sweet Valentine (Olivia x Liam x Drake)

@romanticatheart-posts

Liam’s Journal #428

@itspixelberrychoicestime

A Date With A Ghost Part 6 (Eleanor x MC, Kaitlyn x MC)

@og-lacksubstance-studios

Do You Remember? Part 1

Do You Remember? Part 2

Do You Remember? Part 3

Do You Remember? Part 4

Do You Remember? Part 5

Do You Remember? Part 6

@mysteli

Like I’m Going to Lose You (Chris x MC)

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

You're the best Michael, thank you

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 7

Summary: Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detective on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

I burst through the doors of the station with determination laced on my face. I pass by my shit for brains colleagues with one goal in mind, to track down this Jack and Keith so I can chase them down and beat the living shit out of them. They will wish they never crossed paths with me.

I diligently pull open the file that has been locked away in my desk in search for anything that mentions these guys. Anything that can help me, but all I come up with is a dead end. It sounds like they didn’t have much of a case to begin with when it came time to giving me this task to watch over MacKenzie. I glance up at the Chief’s office and he isn’t there. It’s strange because he is always there.

I quickly do a mass search of the prisoner database and immediately come across far too many Keiths and Jacks. I slam my fists down on the desk in frustration. At this rate, I’ll never find her and she’ll never know—she’ll never know that I’m falling for her.

I lean forward resting my head against the wooden desk. “Fuck, what to do,” I say to myself reeling over the whole thing.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I look up and see one of my colleague’s, Mendoza eating while staring at me with a strange look. “Thought you were supposed to be keeping an eye on that one girl,” he adds taking a bite of his sandwich.

“MacKenzie,” I say lowly as he holds it out to me as he talks.

“Yeah her, why you here?” He asks and as much as I truly don’t want to include him in my fuck up, I’m at a loss.

“She was taken when I was questioning someone. She left me a clue of the guys’ first names, but that’s all I got, so it isn’t much to go on,” I tell him as he walks over and begins to sift through the file.

“I know I may look like a moron to you, but I may have an idea on how to help,” he says and I can’t help but eye him suspiciously.

“Why are you helping me?”

He looks back confused. “We’re on the same team Rae,” he says before highjacking my computer to type in a few names. “This case is centered around Herbert Kline, so if you got the first names of the two men that took her that’s more helpful that having nobody, what’s their names?”

“Keith and Jack,” I tell him as he gets back to typing in some information which immediately has several articles pop up with mentions of Herbert, Jack, and Keith. He clicks on one and I begin to skim through it and immediately my eyes land on: Jack Hewitt and Keith Jabbar.

“Go head and tell me I’m a shitty officer for carelessly leaving my charge alone,” I say as I write down the two names and pull up the prisoner database once more.

“I will do no such thing.” He says as he chews another bite. “You didn’t hear it from me, but I heard the Chief accidentally discharged his weapon into his partner’s foot on his first day,” he adds as their mugshots come up. He pats my shoulder before walking off as I hit print.

I quickly grab their rap sheets and rush out the station to search for MacKenzie.

—

I arrive at the club where it all started noting the car in the back. The club was closed off due to it being a crime scene, that included the owners so the car was definitely something that left me with some suspicions.

I carefully close my door of my car, pulling my gun from its holster to slowly advance to the building. I make my way to the door, stopping to assess the area. It’s still pretty bright, mid afternoon so any doors that open may attract anybody inside with the sunlight. I have to search for another way in.

I slowly circle the building finding a ladder that leads to the roof. I quickly make my way up it and reach the top spotting the skylights. Peering inside, I see two men standing while a woman sits on the VIP couch.

One of the men are on the phone and I wish more than anything I can hear what was going on. I look for a latch and slowly open it just enough to hear, just barely.

“Yes sir, we got her,” the man on the phone says then pauses. “What do you want us to do with her?”

The other man walks over to the couch and sits next to her, placing his arm over her shoulder. My jaw clenches with boiling rage. If he lays even a finger on her, he will wish he was dead after I’m done with him.

“With all due respect sir, but the feds have been protecting her to make sure she testifies, we tried the scare tactic thing and it worked till they got protection detail for her,” he says and chills begin to run up my spine at the thought of them conspiring to kill MacKenzie all because of me protecting her. I can’t let that happen.

I close the skylight quietly trying to figure out the best course of action when I get ready to stand up to go inside, I feel something pressing against my temple. I gulp and my blood runs cold at the voice.

“Detective Rae,”

“Chief? What are you doing?” I ask as he takes the gun from my hand and I stand up slowly.

“You’re a smart girl, I’m sure you can figure it out,” he says as you turn to face him with your hands up at you sides to show you have nothing. He holds the gun up, pointing it at you with a devilish smirk.

“You’re working for them,” I say rather than ask. I’m in disbelief. I looked up to this man as a mentor, someone I aspired to become on the force and he is just a snake.

“Walk,” he says motioning for me to turn around and make my way to the stairs that lead inside the club. This is definitely not how I intended my rescue mission to turn into.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 6

Summary: Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detective on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

“Well if you ask me, he is full of shit,” MacKenzie calls from the kitchen as I sit slumped on the couch. I filled her in on the way home, even though I know it isn’t her problem that I got chewed out by my boss, but I also didn’t want to keep things unpleasant for her either while mope around about it.

She returns with two sodas in her hand, passing one off to me to take. I grimace thankfully but don’t respond. How can I? My job is on the line and worse MacKenzie will be stuck with someone else, and I hate to admit it, but I’ve grown attached to her.

“Listen,” she says softly, placing her hand on my shoulder. I meet her eyes. “You’re amazing, okay? And you’re damn good at your job. I didn’t even see the gunpowder in the beaker and I like to think I’m observant,” she reasons and that’s when my eyes widen in realization.

“The gunpowder wasn’t there when you got into the lab?” I ask and she shakes her head. “Did you see anyone near your table before you went to grab the supplies?” She shakes her head again.

“I always sit and wait for the professor to come in. I don’t usually bounce around the lab talking to people,” she says and that’s when I get up from my spot on the sofa. “What are you thinking?”

“I think I know who tried to kill you,” I say as I get my jacket back on. “Come with me because I need your help to guide me in the right direction,” I add as she quickly gets up to get ready.

We stop in front of an apartment building and MacKenzie looks up at it. “He should be in number 223,” she says as I get out of the car, checking to see I have everything I need.

“I need you to stay here,” I tell her as she immediately goes to protest. “It is my job to protect you, so I need you to do as I say and just stay here,” I interject not waiting for her to respond before shutting the door behind me.

I walk up the steps of the apartment building and search my area to cover all exits and bases. I reach the door with the number she told me and knock on the door. Immediately it opens and his eyes widen and he begins to shut the door in my face. I stop it with my hand and push my way through.

“Look, lady, I know nothing about what happened that day,” he reasons as I slam the door behind me.

“Funny, how you nearly shut the door on my face and also, I didn’t tell you I was here because of that,” I reply and he gulps immediately.

“I assumed that is why you’re here since I can’t recall anything else,” he says as I corner him into a part of the apartment.

“Okay well, that is a good assumption. Now I have an assumption for you, I think you’re a liar and you know more than you’re telling me,” I say and he gulps, shaking his head.

“I don’t! I swear!” He yells in plea and I shake my head, not getting anywhere with him. “But—but I might know someone who does,” he adds and I stand there and listen.

“Care to enlighten me?” I ask as I back off and he gets out of the corner to take a seat on the couch.

“There is this guy who approached me the morning before and he knew I was MacKenzie’s lab partner and he gave me the packet of gunpowder, but I gave it back to him because I didn’t want any part of it. He threatened me and I told him I’d do it, but I ended up, throwing it in the trash as soon as I came into the lab. Someone must’ve fished it out of the trash,” he explains and I stare at him almost unconvinced, but the guy looks completely terrified and he doesn’t look like a killer.

“Did you notice anyone check the trash when you came in?” I ask and he sits there for a moment to ponder, then he looks back at me.

“Hayden Kennedy,” he says and I quickly write the name down. “The guy has been trying to get with MacKenzie for months, but she always says she’s never is interested. Last time she said no, he got incredibly embarrassed because she just got so tired of him asking. The whole lab heard and started laughing, he got really mad,” he says.

“How long ago was that?”

“Friday,” he says and my eyes widen. That was right before I started keeping an eye on her. These people are picking people they know can get close to her. If this Hayden guy has that deep of a vendetta then he is the next person, I have to find.

“If you know anything else, please call me,” I say and he nods. “Sorry for scaring the shit out of you,” I add as he smiles weakly.

I quickly leave and get to my car only to see MacKenzie gone. The passenger window is shattered. I look around my surroundings and see no sign of her. Something appears to be sitting on the seat.

It’s MacKenzie’s journal and it’s open to a page.

This is probably stupid of me to say as it has barely been a week, but being around her has me feeling some type of unexplainable way. She is my safety net, my protector, or bodyguard or whatever. It may as well be forbidden. How do I tell her that I’m essentially in love with her when I know she could never feel the same?

Shay! Help! These two guys are trying to get in the car and I locked the doors. They’re trying to break the windows! I saw them the night of the murder! think their names is Jack and Keith.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 5

Summary:

Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detective on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

I didn’t see MacKenzie really for the rest of the night aside from ordering takeout so she and I could make sure we’re fed. I didn’t really know what to do about her schooling. I didn’t want to ruin her opportunity to continue her education, but her safety matters and if she isn’t safe then there will be no point in getting the education anymore. I hated keeping her isolated, but what other choice is there now?

The next morning I woke up and went down the hallway to knock on the door. I hear a faint voice and enter the room to see MacKenzie still laying in bed and for some reason, I grow a little hot at seeing her in my bed and once more she is wearing something strangely familiar.

She looks down at where I’m staring and she immediately clears her throat. “I got cold last night and I forgot a jacket, I hope you don’t mind,” she explains. It’s my old long sleeve Army shirt that I wore when I was all about my service. I loved that part of my life, it gave me the training and comfort I needed in a time when I didn’t know myself, but at the same time, it took a lot away from me too.

I haven’t worn that shirt since.

“It’s okay, it looks better on you,” I tell her softly walking to my closet to find some work clothes. “I have to go to the station to go over a few things with my superior and I’d like it if you came, so you can have a say in what you’re comfortable with in terms of your protection,” I explain to her as I grab my nice dress shirt and pants off the hangers.

The bed shifts as I turn around and immediately I note the boyshorts barely peaking from under my long sleeve which hangs just nicely off her slim frame. Her legs appear to be more muscular than I thought and it’s the first time I’m able to truly take in her full form.

My eyes rack up her body till they reach her face and by the look she’s giving me she noticed I’m clearly staring. I look away embarrassed and curse myself for being so obvious. I will be honest, we both have caught the other staring and I’m not blind, I know she finds me equally as attractive as I do her, but there are lines that neither of us should think to cross.

I remove myself from the equation which is what I do best by leaving the room with no other words to get dressed.

Once we both are ready to go, we embark to the station quietly enjoying the comfortable silence that sits between us in my car. Neither one of us talks about this morning or anything from the night prior. It seems like we find ourselves constantly in these situations where we strive to make the other uncomfortable or simply love the idea of the other pinning at us with our eyes. For whatever reason, I don’t think the want is bothering MacKenzie nearly as bad as it does me, and that’s so unfortunate.

We reach the station and I park in the garage then guide MacKenzie through the door into the station. We stop at the metal detector and put all our belongings in the container before stepping through to keep going on our way.

We get upstairs in no time and MacKenzie begins to look around uneasy about being in the station. Random minor offense criminals are sitting on the side of other deputy’s desks. One guy in particular checks her out as she passes by which really got me fired up, but I didn’t want to cause a scene.

We get through the mass of desks to the Chief’s office and I knock, waiting to be called in. He immediately does so and I open the door wide enough to let her step in first. I shut it behind me and stand next to her as he greets her behind his desk.

“Miss. Jefferies, please take a seat,” he says ushering us both to sit down. She does so crossing her legs uncomfortably. “I first and foremost want to begin by apologizing for what occurred in your class yesterday. Trust me, I have some of my best detective’s handling it,” he begins and I inwardly roll my eyes. If he had some of his best, he would have me checking out the scene, but since I have to make sure MacKenzie is safe, I suppose it’s an okay alternative.

“You don’t need to apologize,” MacKenzie says and he waves his hand.

“Of course I do, you were attacked and you were under our protection,” he says causing my eyes to narrow in confusion. Is he somehow insinuating that it is my fault that she was attacked?

“I promise, I was safer than I would have been had Detective Rae not been by my side,” she follows up and I can’t help but smile internally at how she defends me. He relents though at her reply before clearing his throat.

“Well I’ll cut to the chase here, the trail is still a ways away and I know you’re a graduate student, but I, unfortunately, don’t think you’ll be able to finish your semester out till the trail is completed and we get the rest of Mr. Kline’s men who have been trying to scare off witnesses,” he explains and I notice MacKenzie visibly shrink in her seat, shaking her head the realization.

“I was afraid of that,” she says under her breath, rubbing her forehead in frustration. I want to help her, but I’m not sure how.

“Is there a way we can work with her Professors? Like a complete online course or something?” I say causing them to bring their attention to me.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I have labs,” MacKenzie replies softly, still visibly bummed at the possibility of her semester being over.

“So you hold off on them till next semester, but at least you can finish some of the book work courses, right?” I suggest, but no one says anything in response. “Look, I’m just trying to give options here,” I add equally frustrated causing my Chief to hold his hand up to silence me.

“I’ll see what I can do and give Detective Rae a call when I air it out,” he says and she nods prompting both of us to get up satisfied as we can be with his answer. I’m about to walk out. “Detective Rae, a word?” He asks and MacKenzie looks back concerned before I make a motion for her to walk out. I shut the door and turn around to face the Chief.

“I expected more from you,” he says and my eyes immediately widen. “That girl could have been killed,” he adds.

“Had I not been there,” I reply back to him stiffly at him. His face hardens in response. “Did you do a thorough check of the lab prior to her stepping in?” He asks and my eyes cast down in regret.

“I wanted to give her a bit of freedom sir. I hadn’t thought about it,” I eventually admit and he gives me a tight-lipped expression.

“Your job is to protect the witness. Giving her freedom does not allow that. Another stunt like that and I’ll be forced to suspend you,” he says sternly.

“I have been nothing but good at my job and I make one error in your eyes and you suddenly believe me incapable. You asked me to do this because you thought I could make her comfortable during this time—,” he cuts me off forcefully.

“No! I put you on this assignment because I thought you could handle it and evidently I was wrong because not doing a sweep was more than just an error as she could have been seriously injured or worse.” I’m silent as I listen to him continue. “Now I suggest you stop while you’re ahead otherwise that suspension will happen regardless of another stunt, am I clear?”

I clench my jaw before relenting. “Yes sir,” I say before walking out of his office and shutting it behind him. MacKenzie immediately gets up and we walk out of the station to head back to the apartment.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 4

Summary:

Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detective on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

I get back to the ground and MacKenzie looks visibly shaken by the blast still; however, doesn’t appear to be injured. I get eye level to her and place my hands comfortingly on her cheeks.

“Are you okay?” I ask her gently and she gulps nodding distantly. I look around the rest of the room and the rest of the students appear to be getting up, but equally as concerned about what just transpired. I know one of the people in this class did this or more than one, but whoever it is are really good actors.

“Is that gunpowder?” I hear next to me come from a tall, but a thin guy near the two of us. He must be MacKenzie’s lab partner. He doesn’t appear like he could at all be a part of something like this, but I can’t rule anyone out. Besides MacKenzie, he is the only other person near this station—that I saw at least.

I get up from my spot on the floor, helping MacKenzie up with me, then stalk towards her professor. He looks visibly startled still, but I’m determined to get him out of this state very quickly.

“What the hell are you thinking placing gunpowder in an experiment?” I ask him and he gulps noticeably uncomfortable by my interrogation.

“Well—these are Forensic Science students, they have to do testing on it,” he replies and I shake my head. “But, I assure you, Miss—“

“Rae, Detective Rae,” I correct him.

“Detective Rae, I assure you that isn’t part of our lab today. We were supposed to test compounds found in blood. I don’t even have gunpowder in this room. I have to get the department head’s authorization for it,” he explains frantically and I stare at him suspiciously.

“So the department head is the only one with access to the room of materials?” I question further to make sure I’m getting my facts correct and he nods non-verbally. I nod firmly in reply, then walk back to MacKenzie who has already taken her lab coat off and has packed up her belongings.

“Can we just go?” MacKenzie asks quietly to me once I reach her side. I nod eventually then usher her out of the room and back to my awaiting car.

We get back to my apartment and MacKenzie immediately retreats to my bedroom. The ride back was silent as I expected. I pretty much sat the entire drive mulling over who possibly could have done this in her class. The gunpowder wasn’t there when they came in, I assume. According to her professor, he doesn’t even have direct access to the materials, so whoever has close contact with the department head must have done this.

I plop down on the couch and place my head into my hands, letting out a long sigh I didn’t even realize I was holding. This case just got real. We’re well past me playing babysitter and it has only been twenty-four hours.

I quickly send a text to the Chief about paperwork, not wanting to take MacKenzie to the station or even leave her here alone. She needs someone close by in case she needs to talk or whatever.

I feel bad for how things are going for her right now. She just wants to be a normal college student, get her education and help people. Unfortunately, she’s being thrust into this position where she can’t be, and even when it all ends, the damage will already be done.

I pull myself off the couch and untuck my shirt from my pants, walking over to the kitchen to pull a bottle of water out of the fridge. I unscrew the cap, hearing that satisfying snap and chug a good bit of it.

I look up at the sound of my bedroom door opening and not long MacKenzie appears. She leans against the edge of the wall with her arms crossed over her chest, looking distantly at the floor.

“Water?” I ask and she glances up to acknowledge me.

“Got anything stronger?” She asks half-jokingly. I don’t normally crack open my good stuff unless I’ve had a really trying day, one that I don’t feel like I can bring my anxiety down in some other way, but I can tell she needs it.

I pop open my freezer and pull out my bottle of vodka, holding up for her and she nods eagerly at it. I grab a class for her and pull out some Apple juice and begin to mix the two together, handing it off to her.

“Apple juice? That’s new,” she comments taking the glass from me.

“I was never much of a drinker, but my sister made it for me one day with my nephew’s juice and I actually grew to really like it,” I tell her and she smirks softly, bringing the glass to her lips to take a sip.

She hums in response. “Your sister should be a bartender because this isn’t that bad,” she replies and I smile in response, laughing slightly.

“She was for a little bit, but she always said it’s a good beginner drink or for someone who wasn’t a massive drinker. Guess it was meant for me,” I reply leaning against the kitchen counter.

“I’m not much of drinker either,” she says quietly. “My dad was a heavy drinker and I just swore I’d never become that,” she adds as she looks away. And somehow I find myself hanging on to every little bit of information she shares with me. Maybe it helps that we’re both opening up.

“I can relate,” I admit prompting her to look up at me. “When my sister left, I didn’t have anyone to help me, so I joined the military as soon as I could. I wanted a purpose in life, so I thought maybe that was it,” I tell her.

“Guess it wasn’t everything you had hoped,” she comments rather than questions. I bite my bottom lip as I think back to everything I’ve seen in my career out there and what it has done, that I feel my jaw tighten at the memories.

“I have a new purpose now,” I reply softly, not wanting to get into detail of everything I’ve been through and what I still deal with every day. It is one of the many other reasons I don’t date. Why should someone else deal with my extra baggage?

“Being a glorified babysitter,” she says jokingly, a smile playing on her lips. I return the smile and roll my eyes, pulling away from the counter and walking around her. She quickly reaches out for my hand to stop me.

I turn to face her. “I just want to thank you for today. I know I told you to lay low, but thank you for sticking close,” she says, her eyes radiating with sincerity.

“I’d be a terrible glorified babysitter if I didn’t,” I try to keep it light-hearted. “But, I’ll always protect you,” I add, showing how serious I am about this.

We lock eyes and it’s intense. Magnetic even, and I don’t know what to think about it. She is just radiating this electrifying pull to her that I’ve never experienced. I finally look away though, my heart ready to pound out of its chest as I regain my composure.

“I have paperwork being sent to me so I can do it here. I’ll call my boss up to see what he thinks we should do about your schooling,” I explain to her, trying to divert to a more neutral topic.

She eventually nods and I walk away from her, pulling my hand from her grasp. Her fingertips graze against my skin as they completely release it. My skin tingles and burns from where she once held it. What the hell is happening to me?

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 3

Summary: Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detective on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

The first night on the couch wasn’t the worst experience I’ve ever felt. I’ve slept on the ground and a terrible cot, so this definitely was painless in comparison. I rise early, before the sun is out and start the coffee maker for MacKenzie when she wakes up while I go out in my balcony, grabbing my gloves on the way out.

I shake out my arms and stretch my neck as I focus on the punching bag in front of me. Connecting with the bag brings a rejuvenating feeling that I don’t get in typical workouts as I watch it swing with each forcible blow. I hit it with more and more force between every punch, my fists smacking against the masking. Something about punching something allows me to focus on calming myself during stressful situations and deal with any thoughts that are causing me some discomfort.

Sweat begins to pool on my skin as I step away from the bag and find my pull up bar. The way my tank top clings to my body is distracting, so I subconsciously remove it so I’m only in my sports bra, then jump up to hang on it and begin to pull myself up and down effortlessly at first before the burning in my arms begin to become predominant. I just focus on my breathing as I continue to push through my sets. I get to my last one and my mind feels effortless like there is a new sense of clarity.

I drop down and turn to the door when I see MacKenzie quickly turning around, almost embarrassed. How long has she been there just staring at me? I pull the door open and she is still turned away.

She finally turns around, letting out a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to stare. That was inappropriate of me and an invasion of privacy. You invited me into your home and I totally just eye-fucked you. I’d completely understand if you wanted me to go back to the dorm and ask to reassign someone else,” she says freaking out so much so that I begin to smile at all the words leaving her mouth. Did she just say she “eye-fucked” me? Sounds promising and flattering.

“Do you realize you ramble when you’re uncomfortable?” I ask her smirking slightly, prompting her to stop mid-sentence and take in the full extent of the situation. “I appreciate the eye-fucking though,” I add walking around her to start the coffee maker, leaving her in awe of what just happened.

Granted the whole point wasn’t to gauge a reaction, but it’s nice to know that I am not the only one who is probably going to be struggling throughout this whole ordeal. To be quite honest, I’m not planning to change my routine just because she’s here. My job is to protect her and keep her safe, so it should be more of a reason for me to keep active while doing so.

I wait for the coffee to be done as she comes around the corner slowly, almost shyly. I grab an apple from the fridge and hold it out to her, but she shakes her head in decline, so I keep it for myself. “Something on your mind?” I ask as I bite into the apple and she seems to hesitate with her response, before giving in.

“I’m bisexual just so you know. I hope that doesn’t make you uncomfortable,” she says and I can’t help but smile even wider at her.

“Trust me, I figured that out already,” I tell her as the coffee maker goes off. I turn to the cabinet and pull two mugs out, then search for the creamer in the fridge.

She rolls her eyes. “You know, anybody would be a little shocked at someone so—you,” she says emphasizing on my attire or lack thereof. I glance down at my stomach which is glistened with sweat and is quite toned if I do say so.

“Perhaps, but I don’t know if they would “eyefuck” or would simply just be jealous,” I say shrugging, but making sure not to miss the opportunity to use quotes around the word again.

“Oh please, like you don’t realize you’re fucking hot.” She immediately closes her mouth, tightening her lips, like they’re being zipped up. I can’t help but to smirk even more at her outburst, eyeing her carefully. Perhaps I do have a much needed upper hand.

I pour the coffee into the two mugs and hold it out to her. “Coffee?” I grin as she rolls her eyes, but takes it from me anyway.

“You’re loving this, aren’t you?”

“I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I like validation. Sue me,” I shrug as I sip from my cup of coffee, letting the warmth engulf me like a hug. I sigh comfortably and in contentment.

“How are you single?” I look up at her and eye her calculatingly. She seems to be genuinely curious which is never a good sign.

“Sometimes attractiveness isn’t enough to make people stick around,” I respond, finishing off my coffee and placing it in the sink. I walk around her to head to the bathroom but stop beside her. “By the way, I don’t care that you’re bisexual. I’m gay,” I add in barely a whisper walking down the hall and into the bathroom to clean up for work.

I park at the university with MacKenzie in the passenger seat. She immediately gets out of the car as I take my keys out to follow her. She immediately turns around and stops me.

“What are you doing?” She asks in a hushed tone to not make a scene around her classmates and honestly, it’s kind of adorable. It’s like she’s the embarrassed teenager who doesn’t want their parents around.

“I have to keep an eye on you,” I inform her as she shifts her bag on her shoulder while looking around her as people barely even notice us.

“No one here knows about the case. Remember, I’m an anonymous character witness? If people see you in my classes, they’re going to have questions, especially if you’re literally following me around,” she reasons and granted, I’m well aware of what this all entails; however, it doesn’t change the fact that her well-being is my business.

“Look, I’m only going in for lectures and labs, what is the worst that can happen in my classes? Would someone really try and come after me with a bunch of other people around?” She adds.

“You’d be surprised,” I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest to stand firm against my judgment. “But I get it, if anything seems out of whack though, put my number on speed dial #1. I’ll be in the building still, but unseen, understood?” I say, agreeing to her terms partially. She smiles happily and jumps into my arms.

“Thank you, thank you!” She says and pulls away, calming down and composing herself. “Listen, I’m just trying to keep some normalcy through all this. I literally quit my job over it because I was that terrified, so if I can just keep all this behind closed doors, it’ll just make me feel a lot better,” she explains and I finally relent, nodding. I understand what it’s like to want to be normal, but I can’t help but worry this is the wrong decision. Still, I go against my better judgment and let her have her freedom.

I walk in with her and place my number in her phone, on speed dial #1, as promised, and turn down the hallway. When I watch her enter the room, I keep myself set up against the wall of the door, unnoticed to her. I listen to her professor begin to talk about something in the realm of scientific theory.

I peak in briefly and see her staring ahead, concentrating on the information that is being relayed to her. I note the way her bottom lip tucks into her mouth as she glances down at her notebook to write down a particularly important piece of information. I can’t help the rising smile that crosses my lips at that. I turn away, not wanting to appear too creepy and stand there till her lecture is over.

By the time her lab rolls around, I have a level of respect for MacKenzie. She is incredibly dedicated and intelligent. When she left her lectures, I could see a few diagrams left by her professors on the chalkboard and just glancing at it for fifteen seconds made me confused.

We walk out of the lecture hall towards the science building. “So what are you studying?” I ask as I stroll beside her. She places a piece of her hair behind her ear.

“Forensic science, if you can believe it. Seems ironic now, doesn’t it?” She breathes out a laugh and I smile at her reply.

“Actually yes, but if you’re ever looking for either an internship or a job, the force could definitely use you,” I encourage and she smirks over in my direction.

“What? You implying you’ll miss me once this is all over?” She teases and I laugh it off as we reach the building. I go to open the door and hold it open for her to walk in.

“You haven’t been terrible.”

She laughs loudly. “Well, I’m thankful for that.”

We stop in front of a door which I imagine is where her lab is, but we still have a few minutes before she has to be in. We fall into a comfortable silence which is strange since silence tends to be awkward, but for some reason, with her, things could never truly be awkward. Embarrassing, yes.

“Did you always want to be a cop?” She asks and being me, I’ve already mentally prepared myself for this question to come up. It’s not really a conversation I have all the time, but as soon as people hear about my past they either are quick to show sympathy or give me respects. I don’t need sympathy, but I always expect respect simply because that’s just human decency.

“Not originally. I joined the military when I was eighteen,” I confess and she just continues to stare at me waiting for me to keep going. “I stayed in till I was twenty-four, went on three tours to Iraq, and after my third tour, I decided to get out. Was ready to make a career out of it,” I explain further as she hangs to my every word.

“What changed?” She asks and I look back at her with a sense of dread and sadness all mixed into one.

“My perspective?” It came out like a question, but I don’t think I have it in me to be any more descriptive than this. She looks down and gulps under my stare, before meeting my eyes.

“I—better get inside,” she says softly and I can’t help, but nod my reply. My words left me entirely. The look she gave me leaving me to question if I should have said anything at all.

More people have filed in and I listen to the professor begin his brief lecture as I see MacKenzie with her lab coat on and a guy next to her, who I assume to be her lab partner. She has goggles placed over her eyes, ready for instructions and honestly, her in her science gear makes her look sexy. I know I shouldn’t be looking at her this way, she is my charge, but is there really harm to check her out? She did check me out this morning, so it’d only make sense.

She walks away from her station to go grab chemicals as my phone buzzes with a text message. I look down briefly, then look back up and see she’s back to her station. She’s mixing chemicals together and I look around everyone else in the room at their stations, prompting my brows to knit together.

Something is wrong.

The reaction in her beaker is clearly different than everyone else’s. It’s bubbling—a lot. I pause to figure out the best course of action, but I find nothing as I pull the door open and rush towards her.

“Get down!” I yell at the same time as I’m pulling her to the ground, covering her head with my arms. As soon as we take cover, the beaker explodes. Shards shoot off in various directions and all I hear are screams from the other students as MacKenzie huddles into my body.

I pull away from her and chance a look at the remnants of the beaker. I look around the entire lab.

Someone in here just tried to kill MacKenzie.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 2

Summary: Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detective on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

I intended to arrive at the campus as soon as I got my briefing; however, I realized how that must look for someone who is trying to keep a low profile. I doubt this girl wants people in her classes to know she has to testify against Herbert Kline. I suppose that is the whole point why I was chosen for this assignment and not anyone else.

I make it to the campus a few hours later with a bag of food in hand for Ms. Jefferies, seeing as I’m about to make myself comfortable in her world. I leave my duffle in the trunk of my car just in case I overwhelm her and no one told her about someone coming to crash at her place.

I pass several people who eye me suspiciously in the hallway, before reaching the door on the third floor. The dorms look pretty rundown and I’m sort of curious as to why as a grad student she wouldn’t just choose to live off campus. Well, it is New York, nothing is cheap in this city. I barely can even afford my own rent.

I knock on the door casually and shuffle back and forth on my feet as I wait. I hope she’s home already. I waited at least three hours to show up after I left the station. I bite my bottom lip as I hear shuffling around the room till the door finally swings opened. I don’t want to say my breath is taken away, but she is beautiful. Her hair wisps on her shoulders as her tank top and sweatpants hug the right places. I shouldn’t really be looking at her like this as I have a job to do, but I’m not going to deny something obvious.

“Can I help you?” She asks and that’s when I note that the DA didn’t bother to fill her in on me coming by.

“First off, here is a peace offering,” I say politely holding the food out. She stares at it concerned, but takes it slowly from my hand, causing our fingers to brush ever so slightly.

“Second of all…” she says, her voice veering off.

“I’m assuming the DA didn’t fill you in on me,” I say and she sighs, crossing her arms over her chest, the food still clutched in one hand while she leans against the doorframe.

“I told them I wasn’t going to testify,” she says softly, losing complete resolve.

“And that’s why I’m here, whatever threats you’ve had coming your way will be my problem,” I explain to her smiling as best as one can in this situation, forcing her to look up in shock.

“What? No, no way. I have exams, labs, and eventually my thesis. I cannot handle all of this pressure, not now!” She says frustrated and clearly anxiety stricken. I feel for her I do, but we can’t let Kline get away with this. If we do, who knows what damage he could do.

I sigh, before ushering with my hand to allow me to step inside as I hardly think this conversation should continue out in the hallway. She steps aside and lets me in and I note immediately that she lives alone which is both great and as I imagine terrifying for her.

She shuts the door and I turn towards her standing in the middle of the studio style room. “I get that you’re scared, but letting Kline get away with what he’s done does no favors to anyone.”

“It won’t do me any good if you’re hauled out in front of the building all night either,” she says and I grimace.

“Yeah, DA and my Chief think it’d be best if I was a live-in security detail. They thought if you had a woman protecting you that you’d feel a little bit more comfortable,” I explain and she looks on in both shock and, something else I can’t pinpoint.

There is a long pause between the two of us before she speaks. “I don’t exactly have an extra bed,” she says softly still trying to adjust to the idea of this happening. And she’s right, this whole me being here isn’t exactly going to do us any good. We don’t know each other and I find that it’d be a bit inappropriate if we share a bed.

Fuck…

“I suppose we can always go to my apartment.” She looks up at this suggestion. “There is only one room, but I have a couch, so I can just sleep on that. It’s only till the trial so I can handle a month of sleeping on it. It’s comfortable enough,” I say and she smirks slightly throughout my entire explanation.

“Do you realize you ramble when you’re uncomfortable?” She asks still smirking. When did it suddenly get so hot in here? I clear my throat and stand straighter, not wanting my resolve to go anywhere.

“I suggest you pack a few things, so we can head out. I’d like a clear breakdown of your schedule so I can make sure you are back at the campus for your classes,” I explain professionally and she smiles softly at my need to hide how she’s got me off guard.

“Are we understood Miss. Jefferies?” I ask keeping my face as hard as stone and she merely shakes her head.

“Sure, let me pack my bag,” she breathes out a chuckle, before walking to her dresser while I go to stand outside till she is done.

A few minutes later, MacKenzie comes out of her room with her keys, duffle, and laptop bag, locking the door behind her. She gulps as she turns towards me clearly feeling uneasy about the whole thing, but I just want to make things easier for her.

We walk out to the car silently and I take her bags from her to put in the trunk while she gets into the passenger seat. I open my door and slide in just as she’s putting on her seatbelt. I start the car and we pull out onto the street, the sun setting behind us.

“So, how exactly did you get wrapped up in all this?” I ask, trying to break the ice while keeping my eyes peeled forward.

“I was working at this nightclub, The Rift on 3rd and I was asked to bartend up in the VIP section for the night and Kline was there with his associates. I guess Mr. Yooley and him had it out towards the end of the night and I was bent down in the bar cleaning up for the night when I heard them arguing. The next thing I know, I peak out briefly and see Kline pointing a gun with a silencer at Mr. Yooley and then shoot him three times,” she explains in deep thought as if she’s reliving the moments.

“I never saw someone die before,” she adds and I can’t help, but feel bad for her. Someone who isn’t used to the lines of work I’ve done since I was eighteen should never have to endure something like that. Unfortunately, I’ve grown numb to that life.

“I’m sorry you had to endure that,” I tell her softly, turning left down another main street.

“Have you—?” She didn’t have to finish her question. I already knew what she was insinuating.

“Yes,” I say softly. “Far more than I would have liked,” I add as I turn right onto my block and I feel her eyes hanging onto my voice.

“Does it get any easier?” She asks as I park in front of my apartment building. I take the keys out and sigh heavily.

“Not really.”

She looks down sadly. “Come on, let’s get you inside,” I tell her softly as we get out of the car, grabbing her belongings prior to going upstairs.

Entering the apartment with someone else feels a bit strange. I mean I don’t usually date and if I do hook up with anybody, which is rare, I usually don’t do it in my own bed. I just don’t have the time for someone and in my line of work, I worry if I cross the wrong person, they’ll be in danger.

“Make yourself at home,” I tell her as I place my keys down on the table by the door. I turn around and see her standing where I left her as she takes everything in. I remember that look, I’d get it every time something life changing would happen. Maybe my experience with all of that can help her along the way.

I walk up slowly behind her and get around her, clearing my throat to grab her attention. “Do you need anything?” I ask and she shakes her head, mustering the best smile she possibly can. “Well, I’ll show you where you can sleep and what not.”

She follows me down the hallway to the bedroom which I try really hard to keep organized and clean, even if it’s just me. It’s a force of habit. “You have a nice place,” she compliments and I nod.

“Thank you, it’s good enough for just me, you know?” I tell her and she smiles softly in agreement. “Oh, the bathroom is right across the way,” I add as she nods slowly, taking the information in.

“Do you have any questions?”

“No, I think I’m just going to finish up some schoolwork, then head to bed. I have an eight-am class,” she says and I nod in understanding.

“Okay, well just let me know if you need anything,” I say, grabbing some clothes to sleep in before making my way out to the living room to get some rest.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Protecting You - Part 1

Summary: Strong-willed Detective Sasha Rae is one of the best detective on the NYPD. Her world is suddenly turned upside down when she must protect a prime witness to a crime. Can she put her feelings aside for the sake of the case or will she become a victim herself?

Lungs burning, sprinting, feeling the burning in my legs as my feet hit the pavement of the neighborhood street of New York City. It smells, but it is easy to ignore when I’m chasing a suspect. He tosses the remnants of a trash can to the side, toppling over massive amounts of trash onto the sidewalk. I jump hastily over it like a true cross country runner, not breaking a sweat. He’s fast, but he’s not tactful in the least bit. I push forward, feeling just a little bit more adrenaline hit me, when I toss my entire body at him, tackling him to the ground.

He falls forward onto his face in shock, groaning. “What the fuck? How are you so fast?” He says as I wrap his arms around his back, shackling his wrists behind it. He whines as I fasten them tightly.

I ignore his words. “Mr. Henderson, not only are we going to charge you for theft, but littering is also a crime,” I say. He is a regular I tend to pick up, but being that I’ve picked him up for theft before and he is on parole, things are not looking good for him.

“Oh, well you know I had to make you work for it Detective Rae,” he chuckles as I pull him to his feet.

I roll my eyes. “Listen D, I’d love it if you turned a new leaf before I retire,” I tell him and he laughs as we walk back to the car like we’re on some leisurely stroll.

“Yeah, but where would the fun be in that? You know damn well your ass would miss me too much if I stopped,” he says and I can’t help, but shake my head. He’s a flirt, always has been and a small part of me truly does believe that he continues to get in trouble just so I can pick him up.

We make it back to the car and I stuff him into the backseat, leaving him with a warning. “You need to stay out of trouble. You’re what? Twenty-two. You got an entire life ahead of you. This whole bad boy, trying to be cute thing will wear off super quick,” I tell him and his smile drops slightly, but he eventually nods in understanding as I close the door. I hit the top of the squad car and they drive off.

I watch it go briefly before my phone goes off. I immediately answer.

“Rae,” I answer and listen intently. It’s Chief Walters, also known as my boss. He wants me to come back to the station immediately. “I’m on my way sir,” I respond, pressing the end button, before getting in my car nearby to head back.

Walking into the station always gives me this bittersweet feeling because I busted my ass to leave it. I have my own desk and everything, but I love being out in the field. I love not wearing the blue uniform that makes me brutally obvious I’m an officer.

It is also bittersweet because I turn heads—often. When I started at the training academy, people just assumed I was a pretty face with no real idea on what I was getting myself into. I knew I’ve been through worse than probably either of them could imagine, but I knew right then and there, it was just another group of people I had to prove wrong. I craved for moments like that.

I think because I do feel like I have something to prove I’m also forced to reconcile with the fact that I may not always be well-liked, but damn-it if I’m not respected.

I advance over to the door of the office and knock softly against the wooden doorframe. Chief Walters looks up from some papers and ushers me inside with a hand motion. “Shut the door,” he commands and I do as I’m told before taking my seat in front of him.

He pulls his glasses off and pushes the file he was reading in front of me. I take it from him, crossing my legs to give it my undivided attention.

I scan over it and note several names I’ve heard in the news lately:

Suspect: Herbert Kline

Age:43

Crime: Money laundering, fraud, tax invasion, first-degree murder.

Victim: James Yooley

Relationship to Suspect: Business partner.

Prime Witness: McKenzie Jefferies

Age: 23

Occupation: Grad Student at Columbia

There are also statements in the file which I’ll have to brief myself on, but Mr. Kline is high profiled. He opened one of the most influential fulfillment businesses in New York state, expanding it throughout the country. And he was only twenty-eight. It was impressive, truly, so to hear of his arrest for all his corrupt money dealings wasn’t the least bit surprising; however, the murder charge was a whole other can of worms entirely.

“I thought he was already arrested and prepping for trial,” I comment finally and Chief Walters nods in agreement.

“So did I; however, I just got off the phone with the district attorneys office and they informed me that the key witness is having reservations about testifying,” he explains and I can’t help but immediately think the worst.

“He has outsiders, business associates spooking her,” I say without question and he smiles softly.

“That is why you’re the best,” he says and I can’t help but look down modestly at his compliment. I try to keep my speculations appearing less like hunches and more like common sense. Anybody that has watched cop dramas probably could have figured that out.

“So what are we looking at? Bringing her down to the station? Meeting at the university? We obviously have to make her reconsider, seeing as she’s our only fighting chance at putting this guy away,” I explain and he nods in agreement once more.

“The DA suggests a security detail till the trial next month,” he says and I close the file, feeling like I helped him work through what I assume was a dilemma.

“Well that’s great, am I free to go?” I ask him and he grimaces, shaking his head slowly. Why do I feel like I’m going to hate the next words that are going to come out of his mouth?

“I would like you to look over her,” he says and my eyes immediately widen. I don’t know the first thing about college. I know that they consist of partying and drinking, football games, and I am just not into that.

“With all due respect, surely someone else is better equipped than I am,” I reason, not wanting to throw out specific names seeing as people already can’t stand me. I bet they’re going to love knowing I’ve been tasked to be a glorified babysitter.

“I chose you because you are one of my best detectives and I don’t think she’s going to want a man to look after her, not when men are trying to threaten her,” he says and I got to appreciate his honesty. I feel validated, but I suppose if I was in her shoes, I would feel a little uncomfortable knowing a male detective was in close proximity of me and I was a young twenty-something year old.

“Listen, it won’t be as bad as you think,” he assures me. “She’s a Grad student, surely she’s well past all the crazy late nights,” he adds and I can’t help but feel unconvinced.

“Are there any specifics I should know about her before I go?” I ask begrudgingly as he flips through a memo that he must have written when on the phone.

“I was told they want live-in security detail, instead of the standard car parked outside of dorm room, so you know I’m not a massive fan of this, but preferably you could have her stay with you, seeing as she does have a roommate,” he explains and I close my eyes, inwardly screaming. This cannot get any worse.

I put on a fake smile, taking the file with me. “I’ll see what I can do,” I tell him as I get up from the chair and walk out of the office.

I make my way over to my desk and park my butt into it to give myself some time of relief before my world turns upside down for a month. I flip open the file again and stare at the photos inside. There are crime scene photos, Kline’s mugshot, and a witness photo.

My eyes fixate on the girl that is not much younger than I and admittedly she doesn’t look like the partying type. She looks like she may be active or that she works out, and perhaps that will be a good thing for the two of us to bond over while we’re stuck with each other for a month. I’m not expecting to become best friends with her or anything, but we have to deal with one another, so why make it a miserable experience?

I glance up at the clock and it reads a little past one in the afternoon. I sigh heavily and close the file, locking it in my drawer before getting up to head out of the office to meet my new charge.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Do You Remember? - Part 9 (The Final Chapter)

Summary: Can you recall the first time you ever loved someone? Someone who made you challenge yourself and learn all the unexpected feelings? Sometimes you forget, but then the unexpected happens and you find yourself back to the beginning.

If Embry told herself she would end up in the position she is now, back in New York, planning future trips with Kennedy and Madison to come have a girls week, and reconnecting with the one person who would forever own her heart, she would’ve called herself crazy.

Since coming home, Embry’s life has changed. A new showcase was happening at her gallery for up and coming artists. It’s been in the works for several months, prior to going to her reunion, but tonight is opening night and it is packed to the bone with the various artists and investors.

She looks around at the mass of people in awe that she was able to put this together. Somehow whenever she does a showcase of someone else’s heart, it always seems to find pride in her heart seeing as if it wasn’t for showcases like this, her gallery would never have happened.

“Still basking in the success?” She turns to see Sage strolling up to her in a fitted pantsuit, with one hand in her slack pocket. She wraps the other arm around Embry’s waist, pulling her closer to her side to kiss her temple lovingly.

Embry smiles happily. “Every time I do a new one of these, I have so much pride. Like I’m helping other artists get exposure,” she says as several people walk past her.

“I’m proud of you,” Sage says, making Embry look over at her and lean up to kiss her softly. She reaches for Sage’s hand and drags her over to a certain part of the showcase that has various photographs on the walls.

“I may have done something,” Embry says as she puts Sage in front of various photographs with a card underneath it that reads Sage’s name on it. “I don’t want you to think I thought you needed me or anything, but I thought you deserved to be showcased. You inspired me every day to be the best artist I possibly could and even when we weren’t together, I held on to you because I had hope that maybe we’d always get to this point,” Embry adds in her typical rambling fashion that Sage has grown to absolutely adore.

Sage looks back at all the photos that rest on the wall, framed and stunning. She has had a rough career as a photographer since graduation and she could never figure out the right way to get the exposure she needed. She even was tempted to anonymously send in her work to Embry, but she knew Embry would know they were hers. She knows her style and everything about her, but also she didn’t want Embry to think she somehow owed her for the past since she knew Embry held more guilt about everything than anyone else.

“Excuse me, I hear you are the curator of the gallery?” Embry turns around to see a man standing behind them, dressed elegantly with a drink in hand.

“Yes sir,” Embry says with a polite smile. He takes her hand and shakes it softly.

“My name is Martin Hamilton and I have been a frequent follower of the artists you showcase, and I’ve been especially curious about this artist here,” he says pointing to the wall behind Embry and Sage which holds Sage’s work on it.

“Oh yes, well this is the photographer right here,” Embry says, pulling Sage in front of her by her arm lightly.

Martin smiles gleefully in her direction. “I must say you have quite the eye, I was wondering if you could possibly come work for me? I own a clothing company where we shoot models, but I’ve been looking for a new creative way to showcase the clothing in more natural light, and I think you’d be perfect for it,” he says and Sage stands there in shock that this happening right now.

“I don’t know what to say,” Sage says laughing slightly in disbelief.

He laughs in return. “Well I hope you’ll accept my offer and don’t worry, I’ll pay you very well, including bonuses and discounts for any outfits you may want,” he states and Sage stands there, finally looking back at Embry who smiles widely and supportively at her.

Sage turns back to him. “Yes, of course, sir, thank you,” she says as he holds his hand out to her to accept, which she happily does so.

“Excellent, I look forward to working with you. Also, I’d like to purchase all those photos if I may, so my creative team can get a full look at what our newest photographer can do, and also because I’ve officially a fan. Can we meet up tomorrow at my office?” He says and Sage nods immediately.

“Fantastic, your assistant up front will have my information,” he tells Embry and she nods towards him and he walks off immediately.

“Did that really just happen?” Sage asks turning to Embry who smiles immediately nodding excitedly for her. Sage wraps her arms around Embry pulling her as close to her as possible. “Thank you so much. I love you,” she tells her and Embry pulls away from her in awe.

“You do?” She asks and Sage looks away embarrassed.

“I’ve loved you since high school. I think it’d be impossible not to be in love with you,” Sage says prompting Embry to pull her down to kiss her deeply. She pulls away and leans her forehead against Sage’s.

“Do you remember when…,” her voice fades off when Sage stops her.

“Shh…” Sage whispers to her, closing her eyes to bask in the happiness and the love she feels having Embry so close. “I just want to live in the now, here with you. Yes, we have our good memories, but I want to make new ones with you in the present,” she adds and Embry sighs contently.

“Sounds like a plan.”

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Do You Remember? - Part 8

Summary: Can you recall the first time you ever loved someone? Someone who made you challenge yourself and learn all the unexpected feelings? Sometimes you forget, but then the unexpected happens and you find yourself back to the beginning.

How do you tell someone that you literally altered your entire life for and then ruined it that you’re still in love with them? The realization dawns on Embry after opening old wounds that she wanted to bury, that Sage still has this lasting effect on her. It’s insane to think that this girl who seems like hasn’t lost sleep over her acts exactly the same while she is practically dying inside wanting to get to herself again. She honestly doesn’t remember what that feels like, to be truly and undeniably happy in her social life. The only constant thing that has given her true joy in life has been her career, the one that she chose unselfishly because Sage believed she needed to be true to herself. Everything she has ever done for herself was because Sage showed her she could live on her own terms and maybe that is why Embry believes wholeheartedly that Sage is it. She is the only person for her because she makes her feel unashamedly authentic, real, and true to who she is.

“Are you seeing anyone?” That question hits Embry like a ton of bricks. She is determined to focus solely on Sage’s reaction or the emotions in her face. Is there hope that she says no? Is there relief if she lies and says yes, so Sage knows she’s happy? Maybe Sage is seeing someone and truthfully Embry would expect nothing less. Sage is someone who would be snatched up easily.

“No.” Embry looks away when she responds quietly. A small part of her determination resolves as she admits perhaps things are meant to remain in the past. She was done lying to the people she cared about and who shaped her future. She turned a new leaf.

“Yeah,” Sage sighs beside her. “It’s hard to find someone who truly understands you in New York,” she adds as she downs the rest of her drink. Embry turns her head back to Sage who is now staring at the field like a distant memory has crossed her mind.

“You live in New York?” Embry asks curiously gaining Sage’s attention again. “So do I. My gallery is out there,” she adds and Sage smiles softly, biting her lip in thought.

“I haven’t been completely truthful.” Embry narrows her eyes in concern. “I’ve been to your gallery, several times actually,” Sage admits and Embry just stares at her curious as if she’s learned about a whole new person. “I went opening night and I don’t know what I expected, but I just wanted—I wanted to marvel in your work one last time. But then I went back two other times since and I just realized something,” Sage says and Embry hangs on to every word, her heart ready to pound out of her chest.

“Which is?” Embry finally asks.

Sage stands there pondering her next move, then smirks before grabbing Embry’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Do you remember the first day we ever met? I was sitting in this very spot and I was taking pictures?” She asks.

“Yes, you looked like a stalker,” Embry replies, making Sage laugh hysterically.

“Thinking back on it, yes probably,” Sage admits, resulting in Embry giving her a smile in return. “But when you came up to me, I knew that my life would be forever changed. I became unashamedly selfish because I knew that you had a boyfriend, but I didn’t care. I developed a confidence in me, I didn’t even know I had. It wasn’t till I was walking out of here that I stared at my screen and realized, I wasn’t focused on the movements of the entire squad, but just of you. I knew you marked me like I was from some cheesy fantasy movie where I played a wolf and I was going to be marked by you for the rest of my life, even if you never felt the same way,” Sage confesses.

“What are you saying?” Embry breaths out trying her best to compose herself. Sage sighs deeply, equally fearful.

“I tried to get over you Em. I did try, but none of those other girls ever compared to what I felt for you and it doesn’t matter if you’re over me. I needed you to know that and I didn’t want to leave here and risk crossing paths in New York without you knowing any of this,” Sage says and Embry stands there shocked, happy, confused. Mixed emotions circle around her unable to believe this is actually happening.

“I came here for you,” Embry admits as Sage looks at her the way she once used to. “I thought, maybe there was a possibility I could truly apologize for the past and perhaps if you were seeing someone, we could bury everything, but I always held some hope that you weren’t seeing anyone and in some crazy universe you still felt the same way as when we were in high school, and I’m rambling,” Embry says covering her face embarrassed by her word vomit, prompting Sage to chuckle softly, placing her hands around both wrists to pull her hands away from her face.

Sage smiles warmly at her. “But so very you,” she whispers to her and only her. Embry smiles back shyly before spontaneously jumping into Sage’s arms, removing any space between them, sealing their lips together in a deep kiss. Sage wraps her arms around her lower back pulling her unimaginably close, before Embry immediately pulls back.

“Wait, was that wrong? You know, jumping the gun and literally throwing myself at you? Seems a little cliche, don’t you think?” Embry asks completely elated, but also feeling like a kid again. Giddy and her random rambling self.

“Do you want to go out on a real date when we get back to New York?” Sage asks, keeping Embry close. Embry narrows her eyes in an intrigued way, wrapping her arms around Sage’s neck.

“I’d love that.” She whispers, closing the gap one last time, but this time a little slower and lovingly.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Do You Remember - Part 7

Summary: Can you recall the first time you ever loved someone? Someone who made you challenge yourself and learn all the unexpected feelings? Sometimes you forget, but then the unexpected happens and you find yourself back to the beginning.

YEAR 2008 - 3.5 MONTHS TILL GRADUATION

Realizations hit Embry that night that if she wanted to keep Sage she had to stop living a lie with Greg, but then the next morning came rolling around and she choked. She didn’t do it but instead told Sage she had.

She knew it was wrong and she knew she was lying to everyone closest to her, but she just couldn’t shake the fear from her. So she hid her double life from everyone.

She would go to practice and then go about her day. She’d avoid Greg throughout school, but sneak away for makeout sessions with Sage in the darkroom. She didn’t want to admit it, but she was falling deeply for this girl and she could feel Sage’s emotions with every kiss she left behind. She never invited Sage back to her house again because she didn’t want her parents to figure out the truth. She would spend time with Greg, but every time he wanted to kiss her, she’d somehow avoid it by kissing him on the cheek or moving her own face for him to do the same. She didn’t want to kiss him—not anymore.

A party is being thrown to commemorate the end of the school year approaching and she was getting ready with Madison and Kennedy over at Kennedy’s house. She had to lie to her parents that she was just sleeping over at her place. It seemed like no matter what came out of her mouth these days were lies.

Embry got a text from Sage saying for her to have a good time, though she was sort of bummed that she wasn’t going to be there. Embry supposed though that if Sage wasn’t going to be there, at least both her and Greg wouldn’t be in the same vicinity, so that made things easier.

The three girls finish their hair, makeup, and looks off before getting into Kennedy’s car to end over to the party, feeling good and excited to let off steam.

When Embry gets there she is immediately met with blaring music and loud chatter around her. She wasn’t often seen at parties, but after the last few months of stress, she felt compelled to just enjoy herself for once.

She got herself a drink and brought it into the living room to lean against the wall closest to the stairs. She nursed it as she watched everyone somewhat grouped or coupled up, noticing Greg by his friends, ignoring her which she was okay with. She really didn’t want to see him and be his arm candy.

“You look bored.” She looks to her side and Sage comes up beside her with the charming smile she’s fallen deeply for. Her stomach does flips and she can’t help but gleefully stare at her.

“I thought you weren’t going to be here,” Embry replies and Sage shrugs slightly, staring out at the crowd.

“I heard a beautiful girl was going to be here and I thought I’d have to see her for myself,” Sage replies suavely but equally corny. Embry shakes her head, blushing slightly as Sage turns back to her.

“You’re so ridiculous,” Embry breaths out as Sage stands closer, but Embry shoves her in the arm playfully. Sage leans to the side laughing slightly, holding her hand to her chest.

“You wound me,” Sage jests. “Besides, you love me,” she adds with slight seriousness and Embry can’t help but stare at her with a hint of vulnerability in her eyes. She turns towards her, letting out a deep breath.

“Yeah—I think I do,” she says completely serious and Sage can’t help but let her eyes take in every piece of Embry in this vulnerable moment. Sage kind of had a feeling that Embry felt this way, but she didn’t know how deeply or to what extent, but seeing her like this affirms the truth.

Sage takes her hand and guides her up the stairs of the house towards the vacant bathroom. They both go in and shut the door, then Embry pins Sage to the door, claiming her lips with her own. Sage moans softly, wrapping her arms around her back pushing them away from the door to set Embry on the counter. Embry wraps her legs around Sage as Sage kisses down her neck, careful to never leave marks. Embry moans softly, tugging her closer to her, running her hands over her back under her shirt.

“Em are you—.” They pull away instantly as Embry fixes the strap of her dress to see Kennedy staring at them in shock. “What the hell is going on?” Kennedy yells at the two of them.

Embry gets off the counter. “I can explain,” she begins.

“Explain how you’re cheating on Greg? That you’re what? A lesbian now?” Kennedy rages, her words hitting Embry like knives.

“Her and Greg broke up,” Sage explains, crossing her arms. Kennedy’s head snaps up so quick like she was slapped.

“Actually, they didn’t.” Sage’s arms slowly drop as does her resolve. “We’ve all been texting wondering where she went, but instead she’s been sucking face with you,” she explains and Embry stands there like a stone while Sage eyes her with her own hurt radiating from her.

“Is it true? Are you and Greg still together?” Sage asks and Embry finally turns, tears streaming down her cheeks. She doesn’t respond with words but instead nods slowly.

Sage looks away, nodding slowly in understanding. Anger, sadness, hurt all mixed together courses through her.

“What’s going on?” The three girls look over to see Greg in the doorway, taking in the entire scene before him. “I heard something was going on upstairs and someone said you were caught with a girl,” he laughs as he stares in Embry’s direction. “I mean, that’s not true, is it? You’re not a dyke, are you?” He asks her.

“Watch your fucking mouth!” Sage yells at him.

“I’m talking to my girlfriend, alright!” Greg replies harshly, nostrils flaring. Sage glares at him, her jaw clenched. “Is it true?” He asks softer to Embry who has been silent overall.

“Yes,” she breathes out. “It’s all true.”

Greg eyes Sage and immediately steps around Kennedy, walking with purpose to Sage, laying his fist into her jaw. He grabs her neck. “I should kill you!” He yells, Embry immediately jumping into action to try and pry him off Sage.

“Greg, stop! Please stop! I love her, stop!” She yells, crying harshly. He releases his grasp, Embry immediately stepping between them, the smell of alcohol radiating off his breath. He turns to face her angrily.

“Well—isn’t that cute?” He spits to her. “You two deserve each other,” he adds before walking out of the bathroom. Kennedy stands there arms crossed, shaking her head at her. She looks disappointed, even slightly guilty that she made it such a big deal that Greg felt compelled to try and strangle Sage. She shuts the door slowly to give them space.

Sage sits against the nearby wall, coughing harshly as Embry rings a rag of cool water to clean up small bits of blood on her face.

Sage takes it from Embry, then stands up wobbling at first, prompting Embry to try and help her.

“I got it,” she says harsher than she intended, prompting to Embry jump back like she was burned by a hot stove. “In case you were wondering, we’re done,” Sage says angrily, walking towards the bathroom door and slamming it behind her, leaving Embry to sob in the bathroom alone.

PRESENT DAY

“Embry.” A hand waves in front of her face as she looks over at Sage who stares concerned in her direction. “Ah, she lives! I thought I lost you for a moment,” she says and Embry just looks down regrettably.

“I was just thinking about that night.” Embry didn’t have to specify which night she was talking about, Sage already knew and from the looks of it, Sage seemed taken aback by the omission. “I lost everything that night, my friends, my boyfriend, you,” she says looking up at Sage sadly.

“That was ten years ago.” Sage brushes off. “My eye and fat lip healed,” she jests, but Embry wasn’t laughing.

“My pride is still pretty shot, but nice to know you can laugh at it,” Embry responds defensively, getting up to walk past Sage who she hears a sigh and run after her almost immediately. Sage catches her wrist in her hand and Embry turns around to face her, tears welling up in her eyes. “Do you know how badly I wanted you to fight for me?” She pauses, not expecting Sage to answer. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry for that, but did you ever think you were equally responsible? You ask me to break up with him, but it was you who kissed me first in the locker room.”

“We both made mistakes, but I will never regret kissing you first,” Sage says quietly as if others were around and she wanted to keep things between them. “I loved you Em and if in some fucked up universe that makes me a shitty person for believing I could do better than Greg, then yeah, place all the blame on me, but I never promised something I couldn’t keep.”

“I didn’t have people keeping tabs on me like you did,” Sage reasons and Embry stares at her angrily.

“You told me you didn’t want to share me and you essentially gave me an ultimatum to either dump him or lose you, and I didn’t want to lose you, but I also thought keeping up a public relationship would keep things from escalating,” she explains.

“Then you should have told me that,” Sage says. “Instead, you made me believe you did end things and you avoided him till finally, it all blew up in your face,” she adds and Embry sighs in frustration, wanting to end this conversation.

“I’m not trying to hurt your feelings or place blame on you, but we were kids,” Sage says softly, shrugging her shoulders. “We were dumb and there are a ton of things I would’ve done differently, and one of them would have been to fight for you or fight along side you. I wish I would’ve been there when you told your parents you were going to art school instead of doing some business degree or whatever they wanted you to do. I wish I would have taken you to Prom because maybe I would have actually went. I was an asshole and I take full responsibility for that. I ignored every attempt you made to talk to me because of my own selfish pride,” Sage explains prompting Embry’s growing anger to dissipate. She looks up at her in awe that she said those things.

“I’m sorry,” Sage breaths out staring deeply in Embry’s eyes to show her sincerity.

“Did you mean what you said?” Embry asks after a few bits of silence fills the night air. Sage keeps her eyes trained on her, waiting for her to continue. “When you said you loved me back then? Did you mean that?”

Sage looks away, blushing slightly, breathing out a laugh, losing complete resolve. “Yes, yes I meant every word. I would have crossed oceans for you, I was in so deep,” she laughs and Embry can’t help to break out smiling too.

“Me too,” Embry finally says making Sage stop short and eye Embry in her typical Sage stare that made Embry weak in the knees.

In fact, I still do. But I’m not sure you’ll ever know it.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Do You Remember? - Part 6

Summary: Can you recall the first time you ever loved someone? Someone who made you challenge yourself and learn all the unexpected feelings? Sometimes you forget, but then the unexpected happens and you find yourself back to the beginning.

Seeing Sage again brought up a tension that neither girl wanted to rehash again, but Embry knew was impossible to ignore. The closure wasn’t closure at all and the lack of self-blame was nonexistent. Embry didn’t want to believe she was the only person at fault for everything turning to shit. She wanted Sage to be by her side, equally taking the heat and she wasn’t.

Embry nurses her cup in hand as she sits on the bleachers, looking at the illuminating football field. She didn’t think coming here would omit so many memories she desperately wanted to never reopen, but she sat here and everything was flooding back like an unannounced tsunami. It’s overwhelming and a big part of her wants to leave, and never come back.

But the other part of her is—

“I figured I’d find you here.” Embry looks up to see Sage casually walking towards her with her hands in her pockets. “Well it was either this or the art room, so I just took my chances,” she adds smiling slightly. Embry gives her a sad smile in return then casts her eyes downward to her cup.

“Why did you come here?” Sage asks forcing Embry to look up ready to defend herself. “I mean, you’re acting like you don’t want to be here, so why come?” Sage explains and Embry’s defensiveness dissipates almost immediately.

“I did want to come, but the last time I was here things were messy and difficult,” Embry says sadly. “I lost everything.” Tears sit on the brim of her eyes as she recounts mentally how damaging everything became prior to graduation.

“You didn’t lose me,” Sage says pointedly and Embry meets her eyes again as Sage shifts to rest against the railing of the bleachers. “You let me go, remember?”

“I didn’t want to hold you back or make you deal with all the shit that was coming my way,” Embry says and Sage shakes her head slightly, looking down and sighing like it should’ve been obvious to the other girl.

“I was equally to blame for it all and you believed you had to protect me from the bullshit,” Sage says, walking over to kneel in front of Embry to get her to keep her eyes on hers, hoping it’ll resonate with her. “But I would have fought for you and alongside you, but you wouldn’t let me. Instead, you decided you deserved the brute force of it all, leaving me to just watch on the sidelines.”

“I thought I was doing the right thing,” Embry breathes out, tears streaming down her cheeks. Sage reaches up to cup her cheek and run her thumb along her skin to wipe the tear from her face.

“I know, but you didn’t have to break my heart to do that.”

YEAR 2008 - 4.5 MONTHS TILL GRADUATION

Embry straddles Sage’s hips, running her hands up and down her clothed chest as the two of them sit on Embry’s bed. The door locked like there is a secret while her mother is downstairs and her father at work. Embry lived in a very conservative household. If her parents found out she was upstairs not working on her nonexistent project, but instead making out with her secret girlfriend, Hell would run hotter than Satan’s ass on a summer day. Her father was a pastor after all, so they ran their home in tip top Godly shape.

Sage slides her hands under shirt sending shivers down Embry’s spine as her fingers dance along her back. She lets her lips trace down her neck, nipping slightly against the skin, determined to not leave a mark easily exposed.

Embry pulls away and looks at Sage, eyes bright and full of adoration for the girl in front of her. “What’s on your mind?” Sage asks, running her hands up along bare sides.

“I wish I can kiss you at school,” Embry says.

Sage smirks, pulling Embry closer to nuzzle into her neck. “Not like this, I hope.” Embry laughs and grovels at the feeling of having Sage this close and loving on her like she is the most important thing to her.

“Not exactly, but just be able to kiss you before I leave for class, have lunch together like a couple, and just be open about us,” she says and Sage leans back as Embry remains rooted in her spot on Sage’s lap.

“You still have a boyfriend,” Sage reminds and Embry’s shoulders slump at the thought. When it’s just Sage and her, she forgets all about Greg and then he pops up at school and it’s like a reminder that he still exists. She hates the fact that when she gets close to doing something about it, her parents remind her his family attend the same church and the hopes of ending things turn complicated again. She’s explained all this to Sage, but she knows Sage isn’t thrilled with the excuses, but she tolerates it. The fact that Embry is even willing to only keep their relationship strictly school and church, showed Sage that Embry really didn’t care about the relationship, so she supposes that makes it easier to handle.

“You know that it’s complicated,” Embry says and Sage sighs deeply, frustration setting it as she presses her hands on Embry’s side to lift her off her to sit up. “I’m sorry okay,” Embry says as she watches Sage fix herself.

“Look, I told you.” Sage turns to face Embry on the bed, begging her with her eyes to stay. “I don’t care if we have to hide the relationship, but I didn’t want to share you. I want you completely, even if it is in secret, but you’re still so hung up on appeasing your parents and Greg’s parents that you can’t even give me your all,” Sage explains and Embry shakes her head immediately.

“I am!” Embry yells, but not loud enough for her mother to hear downstairs. “I am doing the best I can Sage. I can’t help that I am some inexperienced whatever the hell my sexuality is, but I know that I want you and I want only you,” Embry explains and Sage sighs once more.

“Then prove it.”

A knock sounds on the door and Embry gets up, walking past Sage who folds her arms around herself as the door opens to reveal Embry’s mother. She smiles widely unaware of what is happening entirely.

“Sorry to interrupt your studying, but I was wondering if Sage would like to stay for dinner?” Embry immediately panics at the thought of Sage and her parents, and her the table having dinner, and quickly Embry goes to tell her mother some form of a lie to get both her and Sage out of a possibly awkward situation.

“I’d love to.” Embry turns her head in shock, eyes wide as Sage merely smiles politely at Embry’s mom. “Thank you so much for inviting me,” she adds smiling widely and Embry’s mother laughs followed by a wave of her hand.

“Oh, it is no trouble honey,” she says. “Well, I better let you girls get back to it.” She shuts the door and Embry turns back to Sage.

“Are you insane?” Embry stands in front of her with fear etching at her.

“I thought it’d be inappropriate to turn down the offer and besides, it gives me the chance to get to know your parents. You talk about how self-righteous they are, I thought it was time I see it for myself,” Sage says nonchalantly.

“They will chew and spit you out alive,” Embry warns.

Sage walks closer to Embry, her breath hitting her lips. “I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.”

“This dinner is amazing Mrs. Greene,” Sage says in between bites as Embry looks on curiously. Sage is acting like she’s been part of this life for her entire life and her parents, mother especially, is eating it up.

“Oh, well thank you Sage that is kind of you to say,” she smiles happily as she gathers more greens on her fork.

“So Sage, you’re a senior too, I presume?” Embry’s father asks as he directs his focus to Sage who just finished her bite.

“Yes sir,” she says with a smile as she looks down at her plate to gather more food for another bite.

“And what are your plans after high school?” He asks and Embry rolls her eyes at the interrogation. She knew it was coming and she warned Sage of what her father does when he meets any other people around her age. He essentially goes into the conversation with a low expectation, when they meet that expectation, he berates them in the nicest way possible, gloats about her plans that aren’t even hers, and basically looks at them, daring them to find a better comeback.

“I plan to attend college. My passion is photography currently, but I like to believe one doesn’t have to have it all figured out prior to entering college,” Sage says as she looks up to meet Embry’s father’s eyes.

“My assumption is you’re planning to attend college for something that is more of a hobby?” He asks and Sage continues to stare slightly challenging.

“Not necessarily, it is an art form, but one that could make someone a lot of money—,” He cuts her off.

“—could being the objective word.” He points his fork out to her with a slight smirk.

Sage blinks slightly and Embry internally screams that she keeps her emotions in tact. “Anything can make you broke too, it just depends on how good you are,” she retorts and he smirks slightly.

“And are you? Good, I mean.”

Sage merely smirks, glancing over at Embry, then returns her attention to her father. “Yes sir, I’m very good.”

Embry walks Sage out to her car that is parked a good distance away due to the limited parking in Embry’s neighborhood.

“I’m sorry about my dad,” Embry says as Sage strolls quietly along the sidewalk, her hands sitting comfortably in her pockets.

“I can handle it,” she smiles, glancing at Embry. “I worry about you though.” Embry stops and Sage does the same, meeting her gaze. “He’s a shark Em and he is killing you with each bite, and before you know it you’ll have nothing left because you’ve bled out. I don’t want that for you.”

“What do you want for me?” Embry asks and Sage shifts on her feet awkwardly.

“I want you to do what you love and what would make you most happy,” she says and Embry sighs, feeling like it’s easier said than done. “I know art is your passion, but I know they will never support you going to art school.” Embry remains silent because she knows Sage is right. “And I know I make you happy and they’re holding you back from being open with me.” She’s right about that too.

Embry lets out a shaky breath. “So what do I do?”

Sage steps closer to Embry and leans forward, kissing her deeply, making her immediately melt into it. Embry hums in contentment at the feeling of her pressed against her. Sage pulls away and continues to stay close. “Do what you think is best.” Sage steps back. “I can see my car from here, so I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says before walking off to head further down the sidewalk, leaving Embry in thought.

She stands there a little while longer before finally letting out a deep breath, and taking her phone out.

Greg:

Hey, I think we need to talk. Come by school early, so we can address things.

She locks her phone and turns back around to head home, hoping her parents have already finished cleaning up from dinner. She didn’t want to see them as nerves coil inside of her about tomorrow.

[og-lacksubstance-studios]

Do You Remember? - Part 5

Summary: Can you recall the first time you ever loved someone? Someone who made you challenge yourself and learn all the unexpected feelings? Sometimes you forget, but then the unexpected happens and you find yourself back to the beginning.

The problem was never figuring out how to tell her parents or how to break things off to be with Greg, or even tell Madison and Kennedy. The problems were internal and much deeper than anything Sage could’ve fixed, no matter how much she tried to.

Embry was afraid. She was afraid of the outcome. Of what it would mean for her family and her social life. Is she gay now? Does there even have to be a label? All of it just remained boiling up inside her after that kiss and every kiss after powered her through the next several months to the point where telling anybody did become her biggest issue.

She cheated on Greg. Her parents couldn’t stand to look at her after some of their friends caught her kissing Sage one day at the local park. Everything fell apart because she let Sage consume her existence, but she wouldn’t change a thing.

And she assumed things would be easier when she faced her again, but they weren’t. Sage, in her perfection, radiated confidence within herself; something that always drew Embry into her. It’s what she loved most about her. She never cared to be different or fit in with the stigmas of high school and reality.

“You look amazing,” Sage breaths out, referencing to Embry with her hand as she takes in her full entirety. She doesn’t make it unnoticeable that she allows her eyes to rack from head to toe, checking Embry out like she was the only woman in the room. It sends an instant chill down her spine, something that Sage has always had a habit of doing.

“Yeah, you too,” Embry replies and by this time Greg and Madison have left to give them space. This meeting has been a long time coming for them both, whether it was ever going to happen at all was uncertain, but it needed to for them both.

Sage shifts from one foot to the next, her hands buried into her tight fitted pants. “How have you been?” She asks her confidence dimming with each moment that passes between them.

“I—um, I’ve been good,” Embry says nervously, though she isn’t sure why. It was Sage and admittedly, she’s never been confident, but Sage always brought ease to her that she never found with anyone else, but ten years changes a person, especially when the girl she once loved was standing in front of her. “I opened a gallery in New York. I usually show off unestablished artist’s work in showcases and even have a few of my own pieces on display for potential collectors,” Embry explains with hopes of showing off that she is doing well and doing something that she always promised she’d do; something that wasn’t what her parents wanted.

Sage’s smile grows into a warm yet elated one that is filled with pride and admiration for the girl in front of her. She felt like so much has changed, but in a positive way; the way she hoped for Embry. “Do you love it?”

Embry meets her eyes, truly meets them for the first time since Sage showed back up in her life. “I do,” she tells her truthfully.

YEAR 2008 — 5 MONTHS TILL GRADUATION

Embry walked into school the next day after the pep rally, feeling differently than before and within reason. Sage and her kissed, and she knew it was inevitable because of this intense need to always be in Sage’s presence. The constant feeling of wanting but not feeling that with Greg. She had to know if it was for the reason she thought—that maybe she wanted more from Sage, and sure enough, the feeling was mutual.

When she gets to her locker though, her happiness fades as Greg rests at her locker. Her eyes widen and her heart begins to speed up. Not because she thinks Greg knows about it because she knows he doesn’t, but she cheated on him. That was a hard realization to stomach—she became something she never wanted nor expected to be. She couldn’t face him, not now.

Embry turns on her heel and goes the opposite direction, up the stairs and retreats to the one place she knows she can hide—the darkroom. She pulls it open quickly and shuts it tightly, taking deep breaths to collect her thoughts and mind, when a throat clears behind her.

Embry turns and sees Sage looking up in concern, but unmoved with her camera in hand. “Is everything okay?” Sage finally asks, while Embry continues to stare at her, not speaking, not moving. The whole situation could seem awkward, but it isn’t—more like assessing each other.

Embry sighs finally and walks away from the door, pressing Sage on the stool and taking her camera from her hands to rest it on the table. Embry puts Sage’s hands on her waist and pulls her close to her, pressing her lips hard against Sage’s. Immediately, Sage reacts by pulling her even closer, so she’s flushed against her body. Embry pulls away just enough to nip Sage’s bottom lip, enticing a small moan from the other girl.

“What was that for?” Sage asks, keeping Embry close to her, almost afraid this moment will disappear.

“I panicked,” Embry admits. “I saw Greg at my locker waiting for me and I turned around, and came here.” Embry covers her face with her hands as Sage rubs her sides comfortingly. “I just—,” Embry sniffles and looks at Sage. “I want this. I want you because everything makes sense with you, but I cheated on Greg and my parents will never understand us, and am I gay now? Do I also have to come out or do I just say ‘hey Mom and Dad, just letting you know I dumped Greg. Oh, but by the way! This is my girlfriend!”

Embry takes a deep breath and stares at Sage after her outburst. Most people would instantly leave, especially when Sage really has no reason not to, but she stays, and maybe, in the back of Embry’s mind, she’s staying because this is her domain and she stepped into it, or she just legitimately cares.

“Em, I don’t care if you don’t tell anybody,” Sage finally says softly. “It’s our business what is going on between us, but I don’t want to share you either.” Embry looks at her, fear etching away at her. Could she lose Sage if she never breaks up with Greg?

“I know the confusion of sexuality. Not quite like your situation, but I know what it’s like to question and it’s terrifying because all you want is to just be “normal”.” She quotes to Embry as she explains it. “But if I’ve realized anything about sexuality is that it isn’t black and white. It’s fucking complicated and for that reason, the need for labels is becoming unnecessary,” she tells her, taking Embry’s hands into her own and bringing them to her lips to kiss them softly. “So, let’s just be us. Just be you and if some time down the road this thing between us doesn’t last, you can still be you.”