Brain out of motion

The hamsterwheel driving my brain is abandoned - we do not accept applications at this date

[ckret2]

[hypotenussy]

"what that's just a picture of a fla-" *see the guy sitting on it* "OH FUCK OFF."

[batbetbitbotbut]

Recently in "strangely encouraging conversations with dementia patients"...

90yo woman, at least 20 years unmoored in time, with a reputation for grumpiness: You're a man?!

Me, 28yo trans man with a very small beard, rare male nursing/healthcare staff member for this area: Yes.

90yo: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

90yo: Are you looking to be a boy or a man or a woman?

Me: I'm a man.

90yo: You'd be very pretty as a girl.

Me: Thank you.

90yo: You're a girl with a beard?

Me: It's just my face.

90yo: You should shave it so people will see you're a girl.

Me: That's why I grow it.

90yo: You should grow it so people will see you're a man.

Me: This is as long as it gets right now.

90yo: Is it your hormones?

Me: Yes, they were a bit low.

90yo: Are you a girl growing into a man?

Me: Yes, I'm a man.

90yo: You're a very good man.

[batbetbitbotbut]

Another conversation which was both lighter and sadder...

80yo woman, friendly and polite, sitting next to an empty bed (neatly made): I'll just get him up for you. Alan, wake up, the nurse is here!

Me: No need, I'm just here for you today. He can rest.

80yo: All right, Alan is just snoozing.

Me: How long have you been married?

80yo: We're not married.

Me: Oh, who is Alan to you?

80yo: He's my husband, we've been married over 60 years.

Me: Does he snore?

80yo: Yes, terribly!

[batbetbitbotbut]

This person has a brain injury rather than dementia. I've seen him a few times, I know him a little though he will never know me.

[rain bucketing down outside]

Me: How are you, this fine day?

70yo: It's fucking horrible!

Me, gobsmacked because he has never before said a word to me or showed me he was aware of the not-immediate world: You're absolutely right.

[draconym]

I have a family member with dementia who often calls on the phone asking to be picked up and taken home, or to the store, or to school. The other day she called and asked if her husband was going to pick her up, and I said, "do you mean [Paul]? You aren't married to him anymore."

She said, "Really? I'm not married?"

"No, you haven't been married to him for thirty years."

"Oh, thank goodness. I did not enjoy that marriage at all."

[breadfiend]

My grandma had dementia far before I was born and until she passed at my tail end of high school. She had always lived in a facility from my time knowing her. She had 11 living bio children not counting her stepchildren and nieces/nephews she also took in. Uncountable amount of grandchildren and great grandchildren. Affectionately referred as a bitch and badass throughout life as a nurse by profession and overall caretaker to all. We had a family blog to keep tabs on who was visiting and when to what we did and what she said will all of her days documented. I enjoyed visiting her as a neurodivergent child because the facility was naturally designed to be less sensory overstimulating for the memory care patients. I would play dominos and chat with every older folk who wanted to. The nurses and aides enjoyed my presence as it often helped soothed the pricklier of the patients who were more prone to aggression in their confusion. Plus a lot of the patients were not as lucky as my grandmother who had so many to visit her.

I was often mistaken by these folks by other people in their life by name and timeline. I didn’t really mind this. They knew I was someone they felt safe around and they were always happy to see me as a child was rare to come by.

My grandma was never a big talker in her twilight days but I loved to tell her everything and anything. She never really got anyone else’s name right as far as her family but she always knew mine and would use memory care phone to call her adult children at random hours of the day and night to tell them about me by name in accurate detail.

Every so often she would grab my hand when she wanted to tell me important life advice. It would include anything from how to hide money from my husband in budgeting to how to best ditch my high school classes to get the roller rink without being caught.

One time while playing dominos with just us, she reached over and told me, “It’ll get hard. The days will get terribly long and the months will feel so short but there’s so much in those moments between and that love will carry.”

And you know? I think Grandma was right.

[impishcupid]

“Masculinity is always rewarded in girls/vagina holders”

I wanna tell you all about my mom. I know this is a sentence used against transmascs, and im a trans man, so I wanna use my voice to tell you about my mom.

My mom is a cis woman, a gender nonconforming woman. (I had to teach her gnc recently actually, because she couldn’t find a term that she felt accurate.)

My mom has always hung out with mostly guys, she can fix cars, we half-joke (because its true) that every time she breaks up with a man they steal her toolbox (they do). We’re going to negate her current relationship because my stepdad is a feminist who adores her, but not all of her exes where like that.

My mom has faced SO MUCH misogyny over her clothing, her makeup, her hobbies. When she was building her tiny model car, her ex would drunkly rant how thats a “boys hobby” and “she shouldn’t be doing that”. Her and my dad used to renovate houses when they were married, Dad would plaster, and mom would plaster alongside him. While also fixing doors and windows, and floors, and ceilings, and painting the damn thing. When she goes to autoparts stores, or car lots, they always talk to her like shes stupid. Recently shes been bringing her husband, so the associate will ramble his ear off, and when theyre finally done, her husband turns to her and goes “babe I don’t know a thing hes talking about, what do you suggest?” because theyre both just so pissed off about it.

Don’t get me wrong, my moms for the girls too! She’ll give her enemy a tampon type of person. But the girls turn their backs on her, quite frequently. Mom used to have a friend, a male friend, who would go to the bar with her. I knew him well. They’re not friends anymore because he used her hobbies and interests to try to sleep with her. He would always try to change her too. Mom likes cooking, so he would try to push her away from things like watching fantasy TV (he thought that was a more ‘male’ genre) or fixing up the house for things like cooking and cleaning.

And so when I came out as trans, it was a really hard time for my mom. She understands now, and shes a HUGE HUGE ally and advocate for me, and I couldn’t fathom having a more supportive mother, but she was really confused. Mom was worried I wanted to transition because the misogyny gnc/masculine women face. I didn’t shave, I liked playing with knives and multitools, when I did makeup it was always more Kiss/Marilyn Manson style, when my sisters did a Marilyn Monroe.

I remember her driving us home from the clothing shop I came out to her in, and the talk we had. She asked me if I was confused, and I said I was sure. She said that I could just be a tomboy, like her. That it didn’t matter what everyone else said about being a masculine woman. Having talked later as adults, she thought I thought the only option for the type of masculinity I have was to be a man. She was so scared for me and my safety because of how punished masculinity is in women.

So now, as I’m 23, and its 2025, Mom is still the gender nonconforming woman she always has been. Mom taught me how to fish, how to use a hatchet, knife safety, and how to cook and sew. I’m a man who picks up heavy things for her now that shes too disabled too, who wears makeup and nail polish with my denim cutoffs and binder, who still has to call my mommy when I can’t get this screw to screw in right mom, I dont know your tips and tricks.

And masculine women can exist alongside trans men. My mom goes to my hormone appointments with me to make sure these doctors are listening to me, she yells at me when I take my shots late, she picks up my hormones if I’m at work. Mom takes me to Pride every year, and god rest the soul of any transphobes that cross my mothers path. My moms for the girls and the gays, the he’s and the they’s, the its and the lesbians and everyone between. Mom will fix you dinner and your car, and we give her gifts on fathers day too because she was Mom and Dad growing up.

So no. Masculinity isn’t always rewarded in female-presenting people or people with vaginas. My very cis mother could tell you that much.

[depsidase]

[mcmcgreevy]

My god I wish more people understood this.

[elbiotipo]

See also "why don't billionaires end world hunger" or any aphorism in that style. They don't want to, but even if they wanted to, they couldn't, because their actual "money" doesn't exist. It's just capitalist masturbation, stocks and financial tools that don't actually represent real production or value to society but rather what creates capital. It's not just "a bunch of greedy people who don't want to spend money", it's the system of capital accumulation itself. Even if some of those billionaires had a change of heart and decided to reestructure their company to help people, they would get quickly fired or their company would get picked apart by others.

(and also the fact that leaving things such as food production in the hands of billionaires is the worst idea you can have)

The only thing that is real are the means of production and the workers who actually create everything we use to live.

There is surely lot of better theory explaining this and I encourage people to seek it out and read it, but this is something that is worth remembering.

[rosstmcd]

An argument I've had with several of my friends, and always failed to convince them, is that stocks are a bigger-fool commodity.

(A bigger-fool commodity is one that has no inherent worth, so you'd have to be a fool to pay money for it. If you have paid money for it, the only thing you can do is try to find a bigger fool to buy it from you at a higher price.)

Let's consider Apple just as an example. At the time I'm writing this, there are about 14.84 billion shares of Apple outstanding, each share is trading at about $238.15, for a total market capitalization (a.k.a. market cap, the total value of all outstanding shares) of approximately $3.53 trillion dollars.

So what does a share of Apple actually get you?

Stocks have value in three ways:

They (may) pay dividends. Periodically a company may decide to pay out a certain amount of money to each share of stock. In the case of Apple, that amount is currently around 25 cents, and they have been doing it three to four times a year. So your share of Apple will gain you about one dollar a year of passive income. If you bought a share today, you'd have to keep it for over two hundred years (assuming Apple continues to exist and pay dividends at the current rate) to make back your purchase price.

You can vote at shareholder meetings. This is worthless unless you hold a significant percentage of the total shares, such that your vote actually means something. In the case of Apple, you'd have to own literally millions of shares to even be noticed.

You can sell it to a bigger fool.

For the average small investor (i.e., basically everyone who isn't a billionaire or a major investment fund) the first two points are worthless, at least compared to the stock price. The only useful thing you can do with a share of stock is sell it to someone else, hopefully for more than you paid for it.

(Well, there are maneuvers like shorting, where you make a bet that the stock price will fall; but those are mostly the domain of those billionaires and major investment funds.)

The price of a stock is based entirely on what you think someone else will pay for it in the future, and what that hypothetical person will pay is based on what they think someone else will pay for it, which in turn etc. etc. it's all circular.

"But you own part of the company!" people always say to me. "That's where the value comes from." OK, fine. One share of Apple means I own one fifteen-billionth of the company. What, concretely, does that actually mean? Can I walk into an Apple building and just scoop up some coffee creamers and walk out, because I "own" them? No, I'll be tackled by security and thrown out. All that share means is that I own a notional object that has no intrinsic value.

It's all a house of cards, a bunch of people playing pretend, but those people can cash out for actual money dollars and buy things with them. Where does that money come from? Nowhere, basically. If Tim Cook tells a journalist that he's feeling good that day, Apple stock goes up and suddenly a trillion pretend dollars have appeared out of nowhere. If he says he's feeling sad, Apple stock goes down and a trillion pretend dollars go away. But in the meantime someone dumped their shares and got enough real dollars to buy a real yacht.

[important-cat-pics]

[fierceawakening]

[thewritingrealm]

If you're reading this...

go write three sentences on your current writing project.

[kuttithevangu]

I think more historical fantasies and alt histories that have gay marriage be allowed should mess around with the societal implications of this. If your aristocracy allows gay marriage, why? As a release valve for inheritance problems, like monasticism was in parts of medieval Europe? As a way of removing your failchild from the line of succession by legally binding them to the failchild of your political ally, ensuring any offspring they both have will be illegitimate? How about a society where the lower classes are allowed to be gay but the nobility aren’t? Idk there’s just a lot of options that are more interesting than “homophobia just doesn’t real”

[evergreen-femme]

at some point you have to realize that you actually have to read to understand the nuance of anything. we as a society are obsessed with summarization, likely as a result of the speed demanded by capital. from headlines to social media (twitter being especially egregious with the character limit), people take in fragments of knowledge and run with them, twisting their meaning into a kaleidoscope that dilutes the message into nothing. yes, brevity is good, but sometimes the message, even when communicated with utmost brevity, requires a 300 page book. sorry.

[evergreen-femme]

this post is apparently going around terf circles now so i feel like i should let y'all know that you are agreeing with a transsexual lesbian who fucks nasty. get the fuck off my post and also your "feminism" is anything but.

[evergreen-femme]

reblog this version, cowards

[tboyreject]

[shaking a transmasc egg by his shoulders] your existence as a man is not anti-feminist, the world is a brighter place with you in it. nothing of value will be lost, you don't deserve to spend your life in a closet, the most radical thing you can do is to exist authentically. i will always cheer for you, i will always celebrate you.

[hollowboobtheory]

I support the "fiction isn't real so nothing matters" mindset but tbf at a certain point it can tip over into "the curtains are just blue" territory

[hollowboobtheory]

like yes actually there is a conversation to be had about how a characters actions are framed and how they thematically fit with the rest of the story and it can in fact reflect the author's beliefs. some authors are even trying to make a point

[hollowboobtheory]

not all depiction is glorification but sometimes it is and you need to be able to tell the difference. not because your immortal soul will be tainted by reading The Bad One, but because you need to have reading comprehension skills

[hollowboobtheory]

peer reviewed

[hollowboobtheory]

[fatmasc]

Hey i’m a fashion design student so i have tons and tons of pdfs and docs with basic sewing techniques, pattern how-tos, and resources for fabric and trims. I’ve compiled it all into a shareable folder for anyone who wants to look into sewing and making their own clothing. I’ll be adding to this folder whenever i come across new resources

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/16uhmMb8kE4P_vOSycr6XSa9zpmDijZSd?usp=sharing

[fatmasc]

Updated just now with new hand sewing resources (mainly buttonholes) and textbook pdfs on fashion history, fashion illustration, and thinking through designs!

[bosstoaster]

OP I owe you my life

[whatchamacallitz]

OP you are the greatest person currently in my life. You beautiful, thoughtful creature.

[lazaruspiss]

People know that the whole "don't portray [harmful action] because viewers might recreate it" thing is a rule for children's shows right? It's supposed to be shit like "don't show peppa pig playing with fire so we don't get sued if a kid watches it and burns their house down." Not like, fanfiction for adults.

[lazaruspiss]

smth smth "are u ok? i noticed u were reblogging my post about smut not needing the censorship of childrens media again"

[septemberkisses]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

[gay-uncle-baggins]

gandalf getting ready to send the dwarves over to bag end

[5-and-a-half-acres]

This needs a caption

[cornedbeefhashtags]

[16tinyfrogs]

on watching a parent age

i saw somebody say “what if you’re gone and i haven’t become anything yet” and basically that broke me on a random thursday evening

[theriu]

OP, this is genuinely a masterpiece, three poems in one, moving and well crafted. Please tell me you have submitted it to at least some poetry contests, and if not, please do so.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

"I know chatgpt is bad but you just don't really have any choice" you literally do. Don't use it. Have some moral backbone.

[birdsareblooming]

it's been like 2 years. i havent touched it. never needed to. "you don't really have a choice," are you so swift to forget the recent past? Bitch i still use itunes to download mp3s to so i have them forever and any song i want, then my sister burns them to CDs. When boycotts rolled out my other sister got no thanks to scan what products we shouldn't buy. i still use corded headphones not because "its older" but because it's easier. a fool criticizes those who buy candles 200 years after the invention of the electric light until the power goes out. become ungovernable. you are not immune to propaganda. you've never had Chatgpt forced upon you, the only thing forced upon you is the idea that Chatgpt is forced upon you. why claim you need something today that you didn't need yesterday. little bitch.

[teophan]