A tall, brawny fella who's here to inspect your pickle.

You are PICKLE INSPECTOR. You've got a flask full of MOONSHINE, a full ETIQUETTE MONSTRANCE and no ATTENTION SPAN. What will you do? (Independent RP blog)

[screenshotsofdespair]

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

Sleuth called. He asked why you weren’t at work today. You stuttered and then hung up, and then proceeded to ignore him trying to call you back.

Expertly handled. A+. You’ve earned yourself the right to spend the rest of the night drinking tea in bed.

[a-succulent-gardener-deactivate]

You should slap Sleuth, sleeping is sacred and very very important. 

Though i understand, i think Crowbar used to get mad at me when i sleep too much. i think…i can’t remember very well.

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

We should form some sort of action group. A coalition. “Citizens for the sanctity of sleep”. First order of business: banning waking up early.

[a-succulent-gardener-deactivate]

Understandable, im glad i don’t have schedules for “work” so i can get up whenever i want 

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

Technically I make my own schedule but if I’m late Sleuth gets mad at me.

Something about clients not knowing when to see me. I dunno.

If I get to sleep in maybe crime really would be preferable.

[a-succulent-gardener-deactivate]

I guess so, there is also that nice warm feeling when you go back to bed after that…it’s nice. Specially if you have somebody to cuddle with but not like i know i’m fucking alone (deleted)

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

Ah, yes. Warm bed feeling is something I am very familiar with. It’s the main reason why I’m late for work so often.

[a-succulent-gardener-deactivate]

I know right? i was always told it was strange…i just like that cold of the mornings and the beautiful sight.

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

It’s almost romantic. In the literary sense, I mean. Not in the hearts and valentines sense. Very poetic.

[orangesideofthelaw]

It was a joke anyway, it would be weird to ask for your phone if we barely know each other. I’m sorry i’m just tired.

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

It’s fine. I’m not good at jokes. Don’t mind me.

[a-succulent-gardener-deactivate]

I like the sunrise in the morning. 

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

Who would have thought. That’s actually sort of nice.

[orangesideofthelaw]

You should give me your number so i can call you and perhaps scar you forever..

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

Haha. Ha. Haaaa. I’ll pass, but thank you.

[a-succulent-gardener-deactivate]

You haven’t given me reason to, so relax.

On my way to hopefully pass out for the night.

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

Hmm. I thought you unlawful sorts were night owls. I guess I shouldn’t listen to stereotypes, huh.

[punchyouinthesnout-blog]

Why? You do something that warrants i oughta? 

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

No. Noooooo. Probably not. Pretty sure.

[orangesideofthelaw]

Wishing i was drinking. Im on my way home, tonight i dont work so i am planning to get drunk and make some embarrasing calls that i wont remember tomorrow.

So good.

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

That sounds like a very good night. I support this plan 100%.

[orangesideofthelaw]

Its ok with all the amount of parallel universes one must ask just in case.

Im not, so relax. How are you doing?

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

I’m pretty hungover. Waiting for it to pass. At least tea is a thing that exists. How are you?

[orangesideofthelaw]

Fin. I’m Fin. 

It’s a pleasure to meet the good version of Innovator.

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

Should have figured that one out I guess. Why does this website have so many other versions of people I know?

Well, if you’re not a gangster like my Fin, then this is good. Hi.

[a-succulent-gardener-deactivate]

Maybe you should kneel, my neck will break by looking up.

How are you doing, Inspector?

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

As long as it means you’re not going to shoot out my kneecaps, sure.

I’m sober and it’s terrible. Yourself?

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

punchyouinthesnout started following you

Please don’t punch me in the snout.

[ogle-disconcertingly-blog]

buckingcrime started following you

Good morning. Or uh. What time is it even. Sorry. Hello.