on godhood and immortality
1. Godhood is simply a consequence - you were always going to help the people, always going to do your duty. Your friends look at you and they cry and beg and ask, "what happened to you? Where did you go?" even though you're standing right in front of them. They don't like that you ascended.
Godhood, however, does not imply immortality, you find this out when your bones get achy and white hairs begin appearing on your scalp and you know that it's just a matter of time.
So you work and study and practice until you snatch immortality by the throat. Even if your body withers and weakens and you can't move - you can still speak and you still have power. It is an acceptable situation so long as you you can still perform your Duty.
2. You're born into both godhood and immortality - you're aware that you're just a creation, never truly a human, but you still have the memories of your creator; you'd lived and grown and grieved as a human, but you know that you're not. You were born for a reason, created with a Feat in a moment of grief, of desperation, and you know that you are nothing but an Illusion far past its expiry date.
Well. Whatever.
You do as you please, obeying the traits programmed into your body and soul (do you even have one?). The years pass by, on and on, and it means nothing to you. You explore this large, wide world but in truth, your world is small. It has been sewn into your very being - the limits of your world - and all it is is another creation, warm and perfect and made for you, standing beside you.
3. Godhood is a side effect, and the immortality that follows; a byproduct. You scream and cry and beg and create and then close your eyes. The next time you awaken, hundreds of years have passed, everything is so different, and you haven't aged a moment; and won't ever, again.
Your creation has grown, rogue, far beyond whatever you'd been able to to think of while at your lowest point. It was once you but has long since diverted, you don't recognise its face at all - an adult body and years and years of life in between.
It's not human, was never human, but it looks human, it laughs and fears and lives.
The other god - the one who you wear the symbol of, had been raised beneath - beckons you in, welcomes you into this exclusive club of three and you contempt. He looks at you and says, 'only we are equal'.
You look at him and see that he was once human, long, long ago, but the title of 'god' had stripped that from him - from skin to flesh to bone - and replaced it with the thing called 'duty'.
He is disgusting and pitiful in equal parts. He does not believe it, though, and that is equally as terrifying.
Will that happen to you? You, too, were once 'human', but you're now trapped in the body you'd worn when at the height of your emotions, grief and fear and love, love, love, are all you had been in that moment.
If you Love enough, surely you'll be able to keep your grip on that 'humanity'.
Have you not already lost it?
